United States of Kurt
by CountingCrow16
Summary: Something traumatic happened to Kurt as a child. The only problem is, he has no recollection of what happened and whatever it was caused him to develop multiple personalities to cope. DID:Kurt. Klaine/Niff. Cover art created by paperstylehearts. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Okay, so this is just something I was playing around with earlier. I thought it might be fun to explore Kurt in this universe. You don't have to have seen The United States of Tara to read this fic. If you're reading my other story that's in progress, Dead Like Kurt, don't worry-I'm not abandoning that one, I just wanted to try this out. If I don't get any feedback, I may not continue with this one, so let me know what you think either way. If I do continue with this, it probably won't be updated as frequently as Dead Like Kurt, but it's a nice to take a break every now and then.**

**Oh, and I promise at some point I will write an original fic that's based solely on Glee :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or United States of Tara or any of the characters therein.**

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><p>Kurt hovered the pointer of his mouse over the record button for a moment before taking a deep breath and clicking it. Leaning back and looking directly into the camera, he began to speak.<p>

"Hi, my name is Kurt Hummel. It's August twenty-fourth, two thousand and eleven at approximately eight o'clock in the morning. I figure I have about ten more minutes of lucidity, so I thought I'd make good use of it.

About three years ago, I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder or D.I.D., which most people refer to as multiple personality disorder. It's pretty rare and not very many people are diagnosed with it as young as I was, which makes it even weirder. My dad says that it's been going on for even longer, since I was really young. He said for years he thought I just had an overactive imagination, but when I showed up to school one day as one of my alters, he knew something was up.

I guess I should explain what I mean by 'alters'. They're what I call my different personalities. It feels weird to say personalities, because I don't feel like my alters are part of me at all. When one of them takes over, I don't remember what happens. Sometimes I just find myself in some weird place, wearing someone else's clothes and I can't figure out how I got there. God knows what kind of crazy things I've done without even knowing about it. At times, it seems like the alters come out more than I do, especially when things get stressful or I'm anxious about something. Other times, they won't come around for weeks. It's really a crapshoot.

Anyway, my dad is supportive, which I'm thankful for. My mom died when I was eight, so I don't know how she would have dealt with the whole thing. My dad got remarried to my step mom Carole last year and she has a son, Finn, who's in my grade. They're really cool too, even though I know at first the whole DID thing really freaked them out. I think they're used to it now.

I'm also really lucky to have the most amazing boyfriend in the world, Blaine Anderson. He's super supportive and loving, but he hasn't really seen a whole lot of my other sides. Sometimes I worry that when he does, he might run screaming in the other direction.

I used to take medication, which really helped control the alters, but it made me feel like a total zombie, so over the summer, my doctor tapered me off, much to her disapproval. The upside is that I started feeling like me again. The downside is that my alters started feeling like themselves again too, and have started coming out to play again. Unfortunately, this means that I had to start homeschooling this year.

It's my senior year of high school. I should be living it up, filling out college applications, singing with New Directions—my schools glee club—and hanging out with my friends. Today's the first day of school and here I am, sitting on my bed in my pajamas. The only good thing about this is that I got special permission from Mr. Figgins, the principal at my old high school, to remain in glee club. They practice after school three days a week, so at least I'll be able to stay connected to my friends. It still sucks though."

"Kurt!" Kurt turned toward the door where he could hear his father calling him from downstairs.

"Yeah, dad?" He yelled back.

"C'mon down for breakfast," Burt Hummel shouted back. "Finn has to leave for school in a few minutes."

"Be right there," Kurt sighed, returning his attention to the camera. "See? Not only do I not get to show off my fabulous first-day-of-school ensemble, but I have to go eat breakfast with Finn and pretend to be all happy that he gets to have his magical senior year while I'm locked in the attic like Mr. Rochester's first wife." Kurt rolled his eyes and clicked the stop button on his laptop before closing the screen.

"So, Finn, how's football practice going?" Carole asked her son as she poured him a bowl of cereal. It was the first day of school, but the team had been practicing since mid-summer with high hopes of making it to the state championship this year.

"Really tough," Finn answered, shoving a spoonful of Froot Loops into his mouth. "Coach Beiste is really riding us, but I think we're looking pretty good. We may go all the way this year."

"Here's hopin', kid," Burt raised his orange juice in a toast to his step son. "Where's Kurt? I called him to come down ten minutes ago."

"Maybe he's still upset about the whole homeschool issue," Carole said. "I can't say I blame him, it is his senior year after all."

Just then, Kurt ambled into the room. He was dressed in tight wranglers, a plaid button up shirt and a Future Farmers of America trucker's hat. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he was gnawing on a toothpick.

"So, Finn," he drawled with a lazy southern accent. "First last day of school, ain't it? I'm gonna give you a bit of advice. Chase all the ladies you can, because the pickin's don't get any better than they are in high school, you know what I mean?"

"Conrad, it's been a while," Burt sighed, leaning back in his chair, casting glances at Carole and Finn respectively.

"Yeah, dude," Finn said, putting his spoon down in his now empty bowl. "I haven't seen you in months."

"Well, you know, I come and go," Kurt replied. "Don't like to stay in one place too long. Seems hanging around same watering holes gets me into trouble with the women folk." The other three simultaneously nodded, remembering back to the last time 'Conrad' took over. For weeks afterward, several girls from Crawford Country Day wouldn't stop calling the house, crying about how he had broken their hearts. Conrad was a true love 'em and leave 'em ladies man, no doubt about it.

"Okay, well, I gotta get going," Finn said, getting up from the table and throwing his backpack over one shoulder.

"Hey, if you see that sweet little thing, Brittany, you tell her Conrad has something for her if she wants to stop by after school, if ya know what I mean," Kurt gave a conspiratorial wink and Finn had a hard time not laughing. Brittany S. Pierce didn't understand that Kurt and Conrad were the same person and thoroughly enjoyed Conrad's presence. Finn didn't want to think about what Kurt would do if he knew the kinds of things Conrad had done with Brittany in the past.

Um, sure thing, dude," Finn said, heading out the door. "Bye everyone!" The other three told him goodbye and as the door closed behind him, Burt turned to his son.

"Well, I guess since you're here, Conrad, I'll take the day off from work," he sighed. Out of all Kurt's alters, Conrad was the most likely to get into trouble. He wandered off constantly and one time had even stolen the neighbor's motorcycle. Thankfully, Mr. Norris was sympathetic about Kurt's disorder and didn't call the police when he discovered the bike was missing. Kurt had called several hours later from outside of a gentleman's club a few towns over asking to be picked up. Conrad may have known how to operate a motorcycle, but Kurt sure didn't.

"What do you want to do today?" Burt asked.

"I was thinkin' about headin' over to the shootin' range," Kurt answered, "Maybe the bowling alley, later."

"Alright then," Burt said, standing up. "Go get your hearing protection and I'll call into work." Kurt moseyed out of the kitchen and headed to the garage. Carole came around from the other side of the kitchen counter and gave her husband a hug.

"What do you think brought Conrad out?" She asked.

"I don't know, maybe the stress of not being able to go to school today," Burt ventured. "I was worried this might happen, but I was hoping for maybe Gina or Jamie. Anyone but Conrad."

"Hopefully Kurt'll be back soon," Carole replied reassuringly. "Besides, you can't deny how much you enjoy the shooting range." Burt shrugged his shoulders and smiled sheepishly at his wife. As much of a handful as Conrad was, at least they shared a lot of the same interests.

"Well, I better get a move on," Burt said, standing up and grabbing the house phone off the charger. As he dialed the number for work, he mentally prepared himself for the likely adventure he was in for with Conrad, and tried to keep his worry about his son's well-being at bay.

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><p><strong>So, yay or nay? Could be fun, I think!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Wow everyone! I'm blown away by the number of story alerts and favs this thing has gotten already. Glad you all approve! It definitely motivated me to crank out another chapter today. So what do you think of Conrad? He's a blast to write and I don't know about you, but I'll never look at "Laryngitis" and Kurt singing Mellencamp the same ever again. :)**

**Any feedback you have for me is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara **

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

Kurt squinted, his eyes opening on the late afternoon sun that seeped into his bedroom through the open blinds. He felt queasy and had an awful taste in his mouth. Disoriented, he scanned the room slowly, his eyes finally landing on a can of Skoal resting on his bedside table.

"Shit, Conrad's back," He groaned to himself. All of the sudden, the nausea he felt that was intensified by the knowledge that Conrad had been chewing that nasty tobacco sent him over the edge. Kurt barely had enough time to locate the trashcan that had been placed next to his bed before losing the contents of his stomach. When he finished, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, feeling utterly disgusting and desperate to get the taste out of his mouth.

"Tobacco _and_ hot dogs? C'mon," Kurt sighed exasperatedly. He looked up to see his dad standing in his doorway, leaning slightly against the frame. "Why do you let him chew this stuff?" Kurt asked by way of greeting, indicating to the can.

"You think I can control anything Conrad does?" Burt asked with a chuckle, "He's just as stubborn as you, if you can believe it. I'm just glad we made it through the day without having to explain anything to the cops."

"Please just tell me he didn't make out with anyone," Kurt pleaded. Burt smiled and shook his head.

"Not today, kiddo," He stood up off the door frame and started heading down the hallway toward the staircase. "Why don't you get cleaned up? It's almost time for dinner." He called back over his shoulder. Kurt threw the covers off of himself and rolled his eyes at the get-up he was still wearing from earlier in the day. As he stood up and began stripping off the offensive clothing, he noticed something sticking out from underneath his mattress. Curious, he tugged at it until a magazine slipped out into his hand. Kurt stared for a moment, frozen in place before he snapped back to his senses.

"Oh my God, gross!" he nearly shouted, dropping the Playboy onto the floor, very narrowly missing the trashcan filled with Conrad's culinary adventures from the day. He couldn't understand how he and Conrad could be so different and of all his alters, he disliked Conrad the most. With an outstretched big toe, Kurt shoved the offending magazine under his bed and trudged to the shower in his bathroom. Turning the water as hot as he could tolerate it, he did his best to wash away any lingering presence of Conrad in his body.

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><p>Thirty minutes later, Kurt joined the rest of the family at the dinner table.<p>

"Feeling better, son?" Burt asked him, passing a plate to him.

"Much," He replied, scooping some green beans onto the plate.

"So, Finn, tell us about school," Carol turned her attention to the taller boy. Finn placed his water glass down on the table and began telling an animated story about the New Directions impromptu performance during lunch.

"It didn't go so well," Finn concluded. "Every year it's such a struggle to get people interested in it. Most everyone just laughs at us, that is, when they aren't throwing slushies at us."

"Well, at least you have the option of being slushied," Kurt interjected bitterly. "Me? I don't have to worry about some dumb jock's Circle K run, I just have to make sure that Conrad doesn't get anyone pregnant."

"Kurt, that's enough," Burt warned his son, folding his arms over his chest. "I know you want to be back in school, but don't take it out on Finn, he didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah, well, neither did I, Dad," Kurt shouted angrily. He pushed himself up from the table, having barely touched his food. "You think I want to be dealing with this? Hell, most people think I'm making it up anyway. That's what they thought, isn't that right?" Kurt gestured to a shocked looking Carole and Finn.

"Kurt, sweetheart, I would never-" Carole started, but Kurt cut her off by holding his hand up at her.

"You would never say it, but you sure as hell thought it, admit it!"

"ENOUGH!" Everyone jumped as Burt launched out of his chair and grabbed Kurt by the collar of his shirt. He would never lay a hand on his son, but he needed to get control over the situation before Kurt transitioned again. "To your room," he ordered, dropping Kurt's shirt and backing off slowly. "Now, Kurt!" Kurt took a deep trembling breath and turned on his heel, stalking up the stairs to his room. The three sat in silence as they heard the door slam.

"I don't know what to do with that kid," Burt muttered, sitting back down in his chair and burying his face in his hands warily.

"Finn, why don't you take your plate into the living room?" Carole instructed her shell-shocked looking son gently. He started to rise, but Burt stopped him.

"No, you two sit and finish eating," Burt said, getting up again from the table slowly. I need to call Dr. Simmons and see if I can get Kurt in for an appointment sooner than next week. Carole nodded and placed her hand over her husband's as he squeezed her shoulder on his way out of the dining room.

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><p>After slamming his door so loudly that the picture frames on his wall shuddered, Kurt threw himself on the bed, trying his best to calm himself down. After a few minutes, his hands stopped shaking enough for him to be able to tap out a text message to Blaine.<p>

_Hey Babe, how was school?_

Kurt hit the send button and felt instantly calmer. There was something about Blaine that had that effect on him, which was one of the reasons Kurt loved him so much. Blaine knew about Kurt's disorder, but so far, Kurt had never transitioned with Blaine around, even in stressful situations. Of course, Kurt had only been off the medications completely for about a week, so who knew what would happen the next time he was with his boyfriend. Kurt felt his phone buzz in his hand and he eagerly opened the incoming text message.

_Lonely without you. Did you have a good day vegging out in your pjs? ;)_

_Hardly_, Kurt grimaced. He hesitated before responding back. Should he tell Blaine about transitioning into Conrad? Blaine knew about the other alters, but he'd kept discussions about Conrad to a minimum with Blaine. He was ashamed of Conrad, of how different he seemed from Kurt himself and he was constantly beating himself up about the fact that some part of him _was_ Conrad. Kurt finally decided just to tell Blaine the truth. If he couldn't handle it now, how would he be able to handle it years down the road? That is, assuming they'd still be together.

_Not that great. I transitioned today. Just woke up about an hour ago and I have no idea what he did all day._

The response back from Blaine was almost instantaneous.

_He? You mean Jamie? _Kurt could almost see his boyfriend's adorably confused furrowed brow.

_Conrad. I don't think I've told you about him. He's...sort of like the male version of Santana, with a splash of The Ladies Man. And very southern._

Kurt could feel himself blush and almost wondered if he should have just lied in the first place. He did not want to have this discussion with Blaine, even over text messages.

_I guess that explains why you weren't at Glee club today. He sounds interesting. Maybe I'll get to meet him someday._

Kurt almost laughed at the idea. If only Blaine knew...

_I hope not. I think I hear my dad coming upstairs. I have a feeling I'm in for a little 'chat'. Text me before you go to bed. Love you. _Kurt was just finishing the text when he heard the knock on his door that had to belong to Burt.

"Son? Can I come in?" He called from the other side of the door. Kurt stood up and walked over to the door, opening it before turning back around to sit on the edge of his bed. Burt sat down next to him.

"I'm sorry, Dad," Kurt began. "I'm just so, I don't know, disappointed. This is my senior year and I'm stuck here. And Conrad just makes me feel so gross."

"I know," Burt answered sympathetically. "I called Dr. Simmons and she has an opening tomorrow morning at nine."

"Okay," Kurt answered. He didn't necessarily like going to Dr. Simmons, especially since he'd started tapering off the medicine, but he knew that his outburst at the table, coupled with Conrad's surfacing was to blame for the extra session.

"I think we should rethink the whole medication issue," Burt said, knowing his son would immediately revolt. He was right.

"No, Dad," Kurt started, feeling panic rise within him. "I can't go back to the way I was, I can't. I feel like I missed out on a year of my life. I have almost no memories from last October until this summer. Please don't do that to me again, I'll do better." Kurt was sounding desperate now, and he knew it. The new drugs had controlled the alters, alright, but they also made it impossible for Kurt to feel like himself, to feel alive. For months he walked around, feeling like he was underwater and with a blindfold on. It was horrible.

"I'm not saying we're going to do it," Burt said, placing an arm around Kurt's shoulder, trying to calm him again. "But we need to figure something out. Dr. Simmons is convinced that if we can get to the bottom of what may have happened when you were little, we could work through it with therapy and maybe then, you won't have to hide behind the alters."

"You know I can't control them, right?" Kurt stared up at his father, feeling vulnerable all of the sudden. "You believe me, don't you?"

"Of course I believe you, Son," Burt reassured him. "And so do Carole and Finn. We all know that this isn't something you chose. It's something that's happening _to_ you, but maybe there's a chance you can take control of the situation. Wouldn't you like to work towards trying to figure that chance out?"

"Yeah," Kurt mumbled. Every time he tried to think too much about his childhood, he would either get incredibly nauseated or he would transition. Sometimes he would just black out and wake up hours later, not remembering what had happened to get him into such a state.

"Alright," Burt said, clapping him on the back and standing up from the bed. "You didn't eat a bite of food, why don't you come down and finish your dinner? Carole wrapped your plate to keep it warm."

"No, I think I'll just call it a night," Kurt smiled wearily. "But tell her thank you, and-and tell them both I'm sorry. I didn't mean the things I said."

"I will," Burt nodded. "Get some rest, Kiddo." He shut the door softly and Kurt listened to his retreating footsteps before collapsing backward on the bed and almost immediately drifting off into a troubled sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: And we're back! Here's the answers to the questions I've received so far:**

**GirlFromtheWest: Conrad is mirrored after Buck, and Gina will be similar to Alice, but different in some ways. I haven't written a "T" character because Kurt is still around T's age and Conrad is kind of acting as the exhibitionist doppelganger, so I guess Kurt's Conrad is a combination of Buck and T. Jamie is going to be somewhat similar to "Chicken" in that he's a younger alter from the time when Kurt was experiencing his trauma.**

**imadeafriendtoday: You didn't so much ask a question as pose a legitimate concern, but I wanted to address it. No, I don't think this will end like USOT did. I think the first season of the show was absolutely phenomenal, but it went steadily downhill after that, so I'm going to do my best to avoid that trend, which means that at a certain point, this story will have to fork off from USOT a bit more.**

**Thanks for reading and comments and suggestions are always appreciated!**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara.**

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

Kurt awoke to the blaring sound of the alarm on his cell phone. Groaning, he groped around on the bedside table until his hand landed on the phone and with one eye squinting open, he slid the lock to silence the alarm. It was seven thirty and Kurt had to get ready for his meeting with Dr. Simmons. Briefly, Kurt contemplated rolling back over and going back to sleep. He weighed his chances of fooling his father into believing he was ill in his mind so that he wouldn't have to go meet with her, but ultimately Kurt's feet hit the floor and he shuffled to the bathroom to begin his morning routine.

When he first started seeing Dr. Simmons, she had been nice enough, but Kurt didn't feel a connection with her. He couldn't help feeling that she didn't believe him, which, if Kurt was being honest with himself, he was a little paranoid about what others thought about his illness. It didn't help that Kurt hadn't transitioned in front of her for the first few sessions. It wasn't until she tried to dig deeper into Kurt's past that the alters started to arise.

Most of the time it was Gina who appeared during the sessions. Gina was in her mid-thirties, always dressed to the nines, and was a total bitch. In parent sessions with Kurt's dad, Dr. Simmons referred to Gina as Kurt's protector, the one most likely to arise when Kurt was feeling backed into a corner. Any time the therapist pushed Kurt a little too forcefully, causing Gina to make an appearance, she knew that she would get nowhere the rest of the session.

Kurt himself was oblivious to the whole thing. Like his other alters, Kurt knew Gina from what those around him had told him, and from the right side of his closet, which housed all of her clothes. Gina preferred to dress like a 1950's housewife, which was second in embarrassment factor for Kurt only to Conrad's chosen apparel. After learning about Gina, Kurt's desire for a pair of sensible heels at three years of age suddenly made sense.

As Kurt fumbled on the bathroom wall for the light switch, he mentally prepared himself for the upcoming session. Scheduled appointments were bad enough. Emergency appointments were pure torture. They lasted twice as long and always involved Kurt sitting in the waiting room for at least an hour afterward while his dad was in with the doctor. Kurt was 18 now, and legally he didn't have to wait outside anymore, or technically even go to the appointments with Dr. Simmons, but in reality he didn't have much of a choice. He still lived at home, under his father's roof, he hadn't completed high school yet, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, meeting with Dr. Simmons _did _help. Before they found her, the only therapist in the whole western portion of Ohio who would take his case seriously, Kurt was transitioning in and out at an alarmingly scary speed and intensity. Sometimes Kurt wouldn't be 'Kurt' for days, terrifying his father that his son was lost forever.

A few months after starting the weekly sessions though, Kurt began to level out and the medication played a big role in that. Now that he was off of the pills, Kurt could understand why his father booked an immediate appointment the minute things started to look a bit dicey.

Kurt was brushing his teeth when he heard a bang on the bedroom door.

"Kurt?" He heard his father's muffled voice shout.

"Yeah?" Kurt answered, mouth full of toothpaste.

"Just making sure you're up, we need to leave by eight thirty."

Kurt was silent for a few seconds while he spit and rinsed. "I know, Dad, I'll be ready," he called out, grabbing a hand towel to wipe his mouth. He heard his father's feet shuffle away from the door and Kurt headed to his closet to choose his outfit for the day.

Throwing the double doors open, Kurt stifled a humorless laugh as he scanned the closet. To the left were Conrad's clothes: Wranglers, plaid button-ups, the occasional worn-out tee-shirt. Underneath, several pairs of cowboy boots lined the carpet. Hanging on the wall to the side was a rack of belts, all with huge, gaudy belt buckles which made Kurt cringe every time he saw them. He used to throw them out, but his father finally convinced him to leave them alone when it became apparent that either Burt would have to buy him new ones, or Conrad was going to shoplift them.

To the right, Gina's clothes hung. Pretty vintage sundresses, intricately detailed aprons and pumps in every color. Despite the fact that Kurt was embarrassed by Gina's wardrobe, he had to admit that she had taste. That is, she would have taste if she still lived in the mid-1900's like she thought she did. Apparently the family liked having Gina around. She like to clean and was apparently a phenomenal baker. Finn told him it was like having two moms around, once he got past the weirdness of seeing his step-brother in drag.

In the middle of his closet, Kurt kept his clothes. He was slightly annoyed by having to share his closet with the alters, but at least when they moved into their new house after his father and Carole married, they gave Kurt the upstairs bedroom with the biggest closet and private bathroom.

Kurt pulled out several items and laid them on the bed for further inspection. After narrowing it down to two choices, Kurt glanced at the clock on the wall over his desk and realized he only had a few minutes before they had to leave. Hurriedly, he chose an outfit and put it on, giving himself one final look-over in the bathroom before making his way downstairs to meet his doom.

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><p>"So Kurt, you're father told me about Conrad coming out yesterday," Dr. Simmons was sitting directly in front of Kurt. He sat back on the couch, legs crossed with his head braced in his hand, elbow supported by the arm rest. She sat in an uncomfortable looking high-back chair, chewing on her pen in-between writing notes in the folder on her lap. "Do you remember anything from his visit?"<p>

"Do I ever?" Kurt had only been in her office for thirty seconds and he was already exasperated. He hated the way she called them 'visits,' like Conrad stopped by for tea and biscuits. It wasn't a visit, it was a mutinous overtaking, one which Kurt had no control over. Kurt sighed, and tried his best to be civil. "No, I don't remember anything. I remember waking up afterward in my bed, but I have no memories of yesterday after my dad called me to come down for breakfast."

"And why do you think Conrad arose?" It was another pet peeve of Kurt's, the way she asked him these questions as if he had any idea why he was dealing with any of this in the first place.

"I don't know," he mumbled, taking a sudden interest in the painting hung on the wall behind her. "I guess maybe I was upset about not being able to start school yesterday."

"I think that's probably a good starting point for our discussion today," She said, writing something down on her notepad. "I'd like for us to set a goal that by the end of this session, we will have figured out what triggered Conrad and what steps you can take to help prevent him from coming out again, now that you're no longer taking the medication."

Kurt detected a hint of frustration at the end of her speech, but he refused to back down on the medication issue. Now that he _was_ an adult, it was his choice, and so far his ability to make choices for himself hadn't been taken away.

Kurt nodded in silent agreement and Dr. Simmons took that as a cue to proceed.

"Now," she leaned in slightly, as if getting ready to watch her favorite television show. "Tell me everything you remember from the moment you woke up until Conrad took over.

"Well," Kurt let out a huff of air. "I guess I woke up and turned on my computer so that I could start doing that video diary thing we talked about last time."

"Mm-hm," Kurt tried to hide his annoyance at her meaningless interjection and continued on.

"I was feeling stressed out already, probably because of the whole school thing," he admitted. Dr. Simmons' eyebrows shot up, but her eyes remained trained on the paper she was furiously scribbling on.

"I just started talking about what DID was and how it was currently affecting my life, you know, being off the meds and having to homeschool and all. And then I remember my dad calling me to come downstairs to eat breakfast with Finn before he had to leave for school and the next thing I can remember is waking up late yesterday afternoon in my bed, dressed like and smelling like Conrad." Kurt involuntarily wrinkled his nose as he recalled the nasty taste in his mouth from yesterday.

"Okay, so let me ask you this Kurt," Dr. Simmons began, dropping her pen in her lap and folding her hands together underneath her chin. "Do you think it was your father's wording that caused you to transition? If he'd just called you down for breakfast rather than adding the uncomfortable detail about Finn going to school, which to you had the implicit implication that on the flipside of the coin, that you weren't, do you think that had something to do with it?"

"I don't know, maybe?" Kurt entertained the idea for a moment. "But it's not like I can expect for everyone to just tiptoe around the fact that Finn is in school and I'm not. One, he lives there, and two, I'm not stupid. I know what the situation is, so I don't see why someone mentioning it would cause me to transition."

The hour-long meeting continued like this, Dr. Simmons positing a theory and Kurt turning it down. By the end of their time, Kurt was even more frustrated and confused than when they started.

"Well, Kurt, we're out of time for today," Dr. Simmons side, gently closing her folder. "I think we made some progress here. If nothing else, we at least eliminated some possible explanations. But before our next meeting, I want you to go over some of the things we talked about again, and do your best to open your mind a bit. It seems to me that the answer to yesterday's problem may lie in one of the theories we discussed."

Kurt nodded, not trusting himself to speak without being disrespectful. He stood up from the couch and started making his way to the door.

"Would you like me to send my father in now?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Please," She said, smiling. Kurt turned back toward the door but stopped when he heard her call to him again. "Oh and Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Keep it up with the video diary, I think it's a great idea, and if there's a way to send a message to the alters to have them try it as well, that might be helpful."

This time, Kurt couldn't suppress his bitchy side. "Absolutely, I'll get right on that," he said with mock cheerfulness. He took his pointer fingers and pressed them into each temple, scrunching his face up as he pretended to telekinetically pass the message along before continuing out the door, not waiting to see her reaction.

"She's all yours, Dad," Kurt announced as he walked into the tranquil waiting room. Burt looked up from the Reader's Digest he was flipping through.

"How'd it go?" He asked tentatively.

"As groundbreaking as always," Kurt remarked, sarcasm dripping from his voice. He started to pick up a People magazine when his father's arm shot across to stop him mid-action.

"Kurt," he said evenly. "I know this is hard for you, but it's hard for me too. For all of us. All I want is for you to be you again. The only thing I'm asking from you is that you work as hard as you can to try to help yourself. If you're not putting in the effort, you're not only hurting yourself but you're hurting me and Carole and Finn too."

Kurt swallowed thickly as the guilt washed over him. "I know. I'm sorry, Dad. I—I am trying, it's just…it's so much harder now, I—"

"I know, kid," Burt said, cutting him off, not wanting to trigger him. "Let me go talk to the doc for a minute and then we'll go grab some lunch, alright."

"Okay," Kurt smiled weakly. He watched his father walk back to Dr. Simmons' office and settled back into the chair, doing his best to keep calm. He had a feeling that his father's meeting with the doctor wouldn't go smoothly and Kurt made a silent vow to himself to work harder on figuring out his trigger from yesterday. The more triggers he could identify, the easier it would be to prevent the transitions. Kurt sat a little taller in his seat and felt a tiny amount of newfound confidence seep into his chest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Thanks for the great reviews everyone! This chapter focuses mainly on Burt and Blaine, with some slight Dalton action in the middle. As always, let me know what you think.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 4<p>

"Mr. Hummel," Dr. Simmons stood up to greet Kurt's father as he stepped into her office. "Please, have a seat." She gestured to the couch that Kurt had been sitting on previously. Burt Hummel sat down gingerly, his back still a bit sore from bowling with Conrad the day before.

"So, what do you think, Doc?" He asked, leaning forward, hands held together in front of him.

"To be frank, I think Kurt is avoiding getting well," Dr. Simmons began cautiously. She noted the way his facial muscles tensed and knew she would have to be careful about how she approached Burt about his son. "He refuses to open up during sessions and is quick to shoot down any suggestions I've made to try to get to the root of his disorder."

"Look, I know Kurt is stubborn," Burt conceded. "He always has been, but we've been coming to see you every other week, sometimes every week, for over two years now, and now that Kurt isn't on the meds anymore, I can't see that any real progress has been made. No offense to you, Doc, but what the heck are we doing here?"

Dr. Simmons remained quiet for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. "May I make a suggestion?" She finally asked.

"If you think it'll help," Burt surrendered, throwing his hands up slightly.

"Trying to talk to Kurt about what happened to him as a child hasn't gotten us anywhere. I think that if you did some digging around, you might find some answers, or at least a starting point. Perhaps if you could think back to when Kurt really began to act out and go from there. Find an approximate date and start asking questions. Not to Kurt, I don't think he's ready for that yet, but maybe talk to family members, babysitters, teachers, et cetera and see if any of them can offer any insight."

Burt contemplated this. He already felt massive amounts of guilt for not knowing what happened to his son when he was younger, assuming anything did. Kurt had never disclosed anything to him or his mother when she was alive, so it was basically just a guess that Kurt's DID was tied to some trauma in his past. It was the only logical explanation though, according to both Dr. Simmons and his own research. Burt had always tried so hard to protect his son, knowing from an early age that Kurt was different, unique. But whatever demons he was battling, he was doing it alone.

"Am I a horrible father for not thinking of doing this sooner?" Burt asked, feeling a hint of vulnerability.

"Of course not," Dr. Simmons answered with a small smile. "It's not uncommon to be so focused on the present symptoms that we forget to try to understand the problem that caused them in the first place. If anything, I should have suggested it sooner."

"Did you two talk about the whole medication issue?" Burt switched topics, but kept his new assignment near the front of his mind.

"We barely skirted on it, but I can tell he's still pretty sensitive about it," She answered.

"You can say that again," Burt said with a sigh. "I mentioned it last night and you would have thought I'd asked him to consider chopping off his legs."

"Well," Dr. Simmons leaned back in her chair. "You know where I stand on the issue. I think they did Kurt a lot of good, and as much as he says he acted like a zombie while taking them, he actually seemed pretty level from what I could tell, and it had to be a relief for him to have a break from the alters."

"Yeah," Burt agreed. "He didn't seem as bad as he said he felt, but Kurt has always been fairly dramatic and his emotional range is ten times wider than mine. I think he missed that. But I have to admit, it was nice for me to have a break too. I don't know, I just want my son to be happy and healthy, it's all I've ever wanted for him."

The two sat in silence for a few seconds before Dr. Simmons spoke up again.

"Alright, well how about this," she started, taking out an appointment card and scribbling on it. "Let's keep our appointment for next Tuesday and see where we are. I gave both of you some homework, so hopefully next week's appointment will be a little more productive. In the meantime, try keeping any extraneous mentions of Finn going to school and Kurt's absence at a minimum. Like Kurt said, he's not stupid and he knows what the school situation is, but perhaps hearing it verbalized is a trigger for him."

"Yeah, okay," Burt said, standing up and nodding. "I'll talk to Carole about it and we'll try that out."

Dr. Simmons stood up as well and walked Burt over to the door. "Also, I've asked Kurt to start keeping a video diary. If any of his alters appear over the next week, which I hope they don't, see if you can't persuade them to keep the diary as well. I'm not sure if it'll be helpful, but it's worth a shot."

"Will do, Doc, thanks," Burt shook her hand and headed out to the waiting room to find Kurt curled up in the chair fast asleep. He smiled at his son and watched him for a few moments before gently shaking his shoulder to wake him up.

"C'mon, Kid," He said, looking into Kurt's bleary eyes. "Let's go get some lunch."

Kurt nodded sleepily and stretched his limbs out before getting up and following his father out of the office building.

OOO

Blaine tapped his pencil impatiently against his notebook as he sat in seventh period Economics, waiting for the bell to ring. Kurt had texted him last night letting him know that he was going to the doctor earlier in the morning and Blaine was anxious to find out how it went.

Kurt had, from the beginning, been pretty upfront and open about his DID with Blaine. Of course, they'd been friends for a while before they started dating, so he imagined that Kurt didn't feel like he had anything to hide at first. However, lately it seemed that when Blaine tried to ask him about it, Kurt would clam up. He would still answer his questions, but in a way that let Blaine know that he wasn't comfortable and wanted to change the subject.

Blaine missed his boyfriend. It had been hard when Kurt made the decision to return to McKinley. In the back of his mind, Blaine had planned on transferring too at the beginning of this school year, so that they could spend more time together, but with Kurt doing the homeschooling, there was really no point in leaving Dalton. Still, the physical distance and separation was hard. Over the summer, they tried to spend as much time together as possible, but toward the end, as Kurt was tapering off of the meds, he'd been avoiding Blaine a bit. He had yet to see Kurt transition, and it wasn't that he necessarily wanted to (although he had to admit, with a fair amount of guilt, that part of him was curious to see the other sides of his boyfriend), but he did want Kurt to feel like Blaine was there for him.

After his doctor's appointment, Blaine had received a text from Kurt, asking if he'd come over that evening after school. Blaine jumped at the opportunity. It would be a long drive, but thankfully his roommate had agreed to cover for him if he was late for curfew.

Now he found himself staring down the second hand on the clock, waiting for that shrill ring to signify freedom. It was only the second day of school, so the teacher was still droning on about classroom procedures and reading from the syllabus. Finally, the clock hit three thirty and the bell rung. Blaine almost toppled his desk in his haste to exit the room, leaving a confused Jeff Sterling in his wake. Rather than chase him down, Jeff decided to call Blaine. He pulled out his cellphone and scrolled to Blaine's picture.

"Yep?" Blaine answered on the second ring, already sounding out of breath.

"In a hurry, I see," Jeff answered casually as he sauntered down the hall, bag slung over his shoulder. "Anywhere exciting?"

"Hey, Jeff," Blaine answered. Jeff could hear a car door open and a key turning the ignition. "Just headed over to Kurt's house for the evening, he invited me for dinner."

"Ah, I see. Well, have fun, I was just making sure there wasn't an emergency or a hot piece of gossip I needed to spread around."

"Thanks for your concern," Blaine said sarcastically, but with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You know you will," Jeff replied and hung up the phone, shaking his head and smiling to himself. "That boy's got it bad."

"Who's got it bad?" A voice piped up from behind him. Jeff turned around to see Sebastian walking fast to catch up with him.

"Blaine," Jeff answered, turning back around to continue his walk back to the dorm. The lanky transfer student kept up the pace and walked beside him.

"Blaine Anderson?" Sebastian asked. Jeff nodded. "I didn't realize he was taken." Jeff detected a note of wistfulness in his voice, or was it jealousy?

"Yep, has been since about early March," Jeff added suspiciously. He didn't know what to think of the newest Warbler just yet.

"Well that's a shame, but nothing I can't work around," Sebastian gave a devilish grin.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jeff asked.

"Oh, nothing, just talking. Hey, I'll catch you later," Sebastian clapped the other boy on the shoulder before running a head, tailing off toward Cypress, the transfer and freshman dorm. Jeff cast a long glance at his retreating figure before making his way to his own dormitory, wheels spinning in his head with the implications made by Sebastian in his brief conversation with him.

OOO

Blaine was about twenty minutes from the Hummel house when his phone began to ring. Picking it up, he noticed a strange number on the screen. He slid the lock and held the phone to his ear to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey," a gruff, but friendly voice answered. "Is this Blaine?"

"Yes it is," Blaine responded, trying to figure out how he knew the voice. "Can I help you?"

"Blaine, this is Burt Hummel," As soon as he said his name, Blaine recognized the voice. But why was Kurt's father calling him? Was something wrong with Kurt?

"How are you doing Mr. Hummel?" Blaine asked tentatively.

"I'm, well, I'm fine kid, and call me Burt," he answered. Blaine detected a hint of exhaustion in the man's voice. "Listen, I understand Kurt invited you over for dinner?"

"Yes s—Burt, I hope that's okay?"

"Of course, you're always welcome, but do me a favor," Burt paused and Blaine wondered what he was possibly going to ask him to do. "When you get here, just wait out in the driveway for a minute, I need to talk to you about something."

_Oh my God, what does that even mean?_ Blaine thought. _Is he going to have the sex talk with me? Or the protective father, you-better-treat-my-son-right talk? _Blaine felt a panic rise in his chest as he searched him memory for any incident where he may have inadvertently hurt Kurt's feelings or given him a reason to go to his father about something he did, but he couldn't come up with anything.

"Blaine? You still there?"

"Oh, uh yes, I'm sorry," Blaine fumbled. "O-Of course, I'll just wait in the driveway then." He finished lamely. He was usually so well-spoken, it was unusual for him to get this flustered.

"Great, see you soon."

"Okay, bye," Blaine practically threw the phone as if it was on fire and ran his hand through his hair. Now he was worried. He turned the radio up as a distraction and somehow kept from freaking out as he pulled into the Hummel's driveway, parked and turned off the car. He wasn't sure whether he should wait in the car in case he needed to make a quick escape or if he should get out and face his doom like a man. He finally decided to be brave and hopped out of the car, alternately leaning against the hood and pacing in tiny circles in front of it while he waited for Burt.

Finally, he saw the front door open and Burt came out, giving a small wave which did little to put Blaine at ease.

"Hey Blaine," he greeted as he approached the boy. "Are you feeling okay? You look a little green."

"No, no, I'm fine," Blaine lied, putting on one of his award-winning smiles. "Is everything okay with Kurt?"

"Yeah. Well, no not really," Burt said, shaking his head. "He, uh…he transitioned again this afternoon, and I wanted to warn you about it before you came in. That is, if you still want to stay. I know Kurt would be embarrassed, but something tells me you two are in it for the long haul, so you might as well see him like this."

"Oh," Blaine breathed a sigh of relief, which was immediately replaced with a feeling of anxiousness. He was about to meet one of Kurt's alters. "Of course I'll stay. Do you mind me asking, who is it?"

"It's Gina," Burt said. He could tell by the look on Blaine's face that Kurt must have mentioned her to him before. "She's currently in the kitchen throwing together a five-course meal, which on any other occasion would be nice, but I need to warn you that he's—she's not dressed like Kurt, she's—"

"A 1950's housewife?" Blaine provided. It was the thing he remembered most from Kurt's description of Gina. He was a little ashamed to admit that he'd on more than one occasion sat up at night trying to picture Kurt in Gina's clothing. He wasn't necessarily turned on by the idea, but it did intrigue him.

"Right, so the other thing to remember is that while the alters know that they are a part of Kurt, they won't respond to Kurt's name or the way you'd talk to him or treat him. The best thing you can do is just pretend she's a completely different person and treat her accordingly. It takes some time to get the hang of it, but you'll learn. You ready?"

Blaine took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for what he'd see when he got inside. Looking between the house and Burt several times, his eyes finally locked on the elder Hummel's.

"I'm ready."

* * *

><p><strong>Oops, sorry for the evil little cliffhanger :) I wonder how dinner is going to go?<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Well, I wasn't expecting to get this up so quickly, but here it is, Blaine meets an alter for the first time! Hope you enjoy and please tell me what you like or don't like :)**

**KlaineLuneville: I don't think you're horrible for liking the alters. I think they're pretty likable myself. I'm especially fond of Conrad, lol.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 5<p>

Blaine stepped in line behind Burt as they made their way back up to the front door of the Hummel household. He had to admit that his heart was beating a little faster and harder than usual with the anticipation of finally encountering one of Kurt's alters. They walked inside, Blaine hanging back briefly to shut the door before walking to catch up with Burt. Burt looked back at Blaine once before indicating with a nod that they were headed to the kitchen, presumably where Gina was. If the delicious smell wafting through the house was any indication of Gina's cooking abilities, then Blaine was at least excited to meet her on behalf of his stomach.

Blaine had spent months mulling over the descriptions given to him by Kurt and his family about the characteristics of the different alters. In fact, in some ways, he felt like he had met them, just based on the amount of time he'd spent thinking about them. But when he rounded the corner into the kitchen, he realized he was in no way prepared for what he saw. Blaine was looking downward as he walked, so the first thing he saw was a pair of red pumps facing away from him, standing at the kitchen sink. As his eyes travelled up the body they were attached to, he saw slender, pantyhose-clad legs, above which was the hemline of an a-line blue and white polka dot skirt. Blaine's eyes faltered a bit as he realized that it was Kurt standing there with his back to him. Right above Kurt's butt were wide, red apron strings, tied in a perfect bow. Blaine was still staring at the bow (or rather, the butt below it) when the figure suddenly turned around.

"Oh, there you are!" Kurt—well, Gina exclaimed. "I have just been dying to meet you!" she beamed, wiping the palms of her hands off on her well-ironed apron.

Blaine stared, slack-jawed. He found himself incapable of speech as he took in the sight in front of him. She was beautiful, obviously male, but her make-up was striking against her bone structure. Her mascara was perfectly applied and, although he couldn't be certain, it appeared as though she was wearing fake eyelashes as well. She stood there expectantly, her red lips frozen in a wide smile, waiting for Blaine to acknowledge her, which Blaine finally did after Burt cleared his throat and jabbed him in the ribs.

"Hi, I uh, I'm Blaine," He stuttered, awkwardly holding out his hand to her. She daintily placed her hand in his and gave a slight curtsy. He noticed the red nail polish that graced her fingers. Blaine, not expecting the gesture, bowed stiffly in return.

"Jeepers Blaine, well I'm Gina and I have heard so many things about you," She gushed, leaving her hand tucked in his. "You are even more of a cutie pie than I imagined! Even if you are a greaser." Blaine took his hand back and ran it nervously through his hair, looking to Burt. Burt smiled a bit and gave him a nod of encouragement. Blaine turned back to Gina.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you too, uh, Gina," he said, finally returning her smile.

"He's a bit of a shy one, isn't he?" She said to Burt, conspiratorially. He gave a non-committal grunt, backing out of the kitchen toward the living room and she returned her attention to Blaine. "So what brings you here tonight, sweetie pie?" She began chopping vegetables and throwing them in a roasting pan sitting on the island.

"I—um, well, Kurt invited me over," He said tentatively, sliding onto one of the stools in front of the island. Was he supposed to talk about Kurt in front of his alters? They never talked about what should happen in this scenario before.

"Kurt's such a sweet boy, it's a shame he couldn't be here tonight," She said, which only served to confuse Blaine more. "But, poor thing, he just isn't that great with a pot roast, so naturally I'm here to save dinner." She winked at Blaine before turning around to pull open the oven door. Taking out the roast, she slid the pan of vegetables in and set the egg timer by the stove.

"So," Blaine started experimentally. "How long have you known Kurt?" He had no idea what he was doing, but he had an insatiable curiosity to know more about Gina and how she existed within Kurt.

"What a silly question, Blaine!" She swatted him with a dish towel and he grinned sheepishly, not knowing how else to respond. "I've always been here with Kurt. Well, not always I suppose, but as far back as either of us can remember."

"But he says that all he knows about you, a-and the others, is from what others tell him," For some reason, Blaine was becoming nervous, as if he was crossing some boundary that wasn't intended for him to break.

"Well I guess it could be a little confusing to understand," She answered, furrowing her brow and leaning against the counter. "I guess I would have to explain it this way. Kurt's subconscious interacts with us on a near constant basis, but consciously, he doesn't recognize us. Jeepers, it really is just a big mess when you try to describe it, isn't it?" She laughed lightly and Blaine mimicked her.

"Golly, I am just a horrible hostess!" She said so suddenly it almost caused Blaine to jump. "Can I get you a glass of milk?"

"Oh, uh, sure," He responded. He watched as she pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it halfway up with milk. She handed it to him with a smile. "Thanks," he lifted the glass to her in appreciation before taking a long sip.

Just then, the front door opened and Blaine heard Finn's voice call out.

"I'm home!" He announced. "Where is everyone?"

"In the kitchen, dear!" Gina called out, smiling brightly. Finn walked in and his eyes widened slightly. Obviously, no one thought to warn Finn before he got home from football practice about Gina's presence.

"Oh, Gina… and Blaine," he greeted awkwardly, looking between the two. "Hey."

"Hi Finn," Blaine said, one corner of his mouth turning upward in a smile. For some reason, the other boy's presence seemed to fluster him a bit and he could feel the color rise in his cheeks. He didn't really like the way that Finn was looking at the two of them, as if with some morbid curiosity about a Blaine—Kurt—Gina relationship.

"Finn, darling, run along upstairs and wash up," Gina ordered in a motherly tone. "Dinner is almost ready."

"Yep," Finn said, backing out of the kitchen, but still looking between the two. "Don't have to tell me twice." After he made it through the doorway, he turned around and rushed up the stairs, flinging his backpack on the couch next to Burt before doing so.

"He's a good boy," Gina confided quietly in Blaine. "He just needs a lot of gentle prodding." Blaine tried to hold back the snicker that was rising in his throat. He wished Kurt was there, but he was starting to like Gina.

OOO

Dinner went smoothly and was even fairly entertaining for Blaine, watching Gina interact with the family. She obviously felt like she had to compete with Carole, and would interject little jealous jabs after just about everything she said. Carole was good-humored about it though and Blaine was amazed at how this family had adjusted around Kurt's motherly alter.

As the meal drew to a close, the family and Blaine were still sitting around the table talking, when Gina suddenly got a strange look on her face. Bowing her head slightly and squeezing her eyes shut, she remained still for a moment before her shoulders slumped slightly. Raising her head and looking back up, Blaine knew immediately that something was different. Gina was gone.

Kurt's eyes slowly scanned the room, looking at his dad and Carole sitting at the table to the left of him and Blaine and Finn to the right. Kurt remained silent as he appeared to be preparing himself for something. With great hesitation, he looked down at his apron and skirted lap and shut his eyes again, bringing a manicured hand to his mouth.

"Oh no," He said softly, his voice wavering slightly. He almost knocked the chair over in his haste to get up from the table.

"Kurt!" Burt shouted after his son, but it was no use. Kurt was already up the stairs and they heard his bedroom door slam. Everyone sat in stunned silence for a few moments until Blaine finally spoke up.

"Should I…?" _Should I what?_ Blaine asked himself. _Go after Kurt, go back to Dalton, what?_

"No, just wait here," Burt answered, as if reading his mind. "I'm gonna give him a few more minutes and then I'll go up and see what we're dealing with. Until then, just hang tight." Blaine nodded, relieved to have some directions. They finished their meal in awkward silence.

"Well, how about you boys help me clear the table," Carole said several minutes later, standing up and throwing a look toward her husband.

"Of course, Mrs. Hummel," Blaine said at the same time Finn answered, "Sure mom."

"Blaine, sweetie, call me Carole," She smiled, picking up several serving dishes and heading back into the kitchen. Blaine and Finn followed suit, leaving Burt alone at the table. Taking a deep breath, he pushed back from the table and started making the slow climb up to Kurt's bedroom. Arriving at the door, he knocked gently.

"Kurt? It's me, can I come in?" Burt waited for an answer for a few seconds, but heard nothing except for the bathroom sink running. Figuring that Kurt probably hadn't heard him, he made his way in. He rounded the corner to see Kurt standing at the sink, furiously scrubbing at his face with a washcloth. Kurt's eyes were bloodshot with tears. His eyes met his father's in the mirror before he bowed his head and braced himself against the sink

"I have never been so embarrassed in my life," He groaned, voice thick with emotion.

"Kurt—"

"How could you let him see me like that?" His head snapped up and he whipped around to be face to face with his father. "How _could_ you?"

Burt felt a wave of guilt wash over him. His intentions were that Blaine would see Gina and would hopefully be able to support Kurt even better in the future after interacting with one of his alters. He hadn't thought about the embarrassment factor for his son realizing that he'd been decked out in full drag in front of his boyfriend of less than half a year.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," Burt began. "I just thought…I don't know what I thought, but I do know this. I'm not real good at emotions or anything like that, but that boy downstairs cares a heck of a lot for you and I don't think meeting Gina is going to scare him away."

Kurt continued to glare at his father for a few more seconds before averting his eyes and letting his shoulders sag a bit. He groaned as he leaned into his father, who wrapped his arms tightly around his son.

"I just want to crawl in a hole and die," he said, voice muffled by his father's shirt.

"I wish you wouldn't, kiddo," Burt chuckled. "We'll get through this, I promise, okay?" He pushed Kurt out and held him at arm's length, dipping his head slightly to look directly into his son's eyes.

"'Kay," Kurt conceded. He looked exhausted, his face puffy from a combination of crying and scrubbing to get Gina's thick layer of foundation off.

"Now, Blaine is downstairs," Burt said evenly, not wanting to get Kurt riled up again. "What do you want me to do, do you want me to send him up?"

"Oh my God, no," Kurt answered dramatically. "I can't face him right now, I…just tell him I'm so sorry and I'll text him later."

"Okay," Burt agreed quietly. "But you two need to talk about what happened tonight. I'm not trying to tell you how to run your relationship with him, but you owe it to him to at least discuss it since he drove all the way out here on a school night. Plus I think it might do you some good to, you know, to have some support outside of me, Carole and Finn."

"I know, Dad, thanks," Kurt said, obviously relieved that he wasn't making Kurt talk to Blaine right then. If he had, Kurt wondered whether he could survive the jump out of his bedroom window without injury.

"Alright, well, let me go talk to him then," Burt said, turning toward the door. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just going to go to bed, I think. I'm exhausted." Burt nodded and headed out of the room, shutting the door gently behind him. Kurt flopped down on his bed, stomach down and buried his head into his pillow as he let out a scream. He hated that Blaine was downstairs in his house, about to be told to start making his way back to Dalton without getting a chance to see his boyfriend, but at the same time, Kurt didn't think he could bear to see Blaine right then. Especially after seeing the look on his face after he transitioned back at the dinner table.

Kurt rolled over and grabbed his phone off of the bedside table and set his alarm for ten thirty, three and a half hours from then, so that he could take a nap and text Blaine before he went to bed. With his last ounce of energy, he reached up and flicked the switch on the bedside lamp off, blanketing the room in near darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Prepare for some evil Sebastian plotting and mild Facebook drama. Poor Blaine doesn't know what's coming. Comments and suggestions always welcome.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 6<p>

Blaine waved over his shoulder as Burt closed the front door. He'd walked Blaine out, explaining Kurt's obvious embarrassment and apologizing to him for not thinking through the repercussions of letting Blaine meet Gina without Kurt's knowledge or consent. Blaine shrugged it off, but knew that he and Kurt were going to have a tough conversation ahead of them.

He knew he would have to explain to Kurt until he was blue in the face that meeting Gina hadn't changed how he felt about Kurt one bit. It didn't scare him, it didn't embarrass him and it didn't bother him at all that Kurt was dealing with this disorder. Well, it _did _bother him that Kurt was obviously suffering with it. It bothered him that the DID was probably indicative of some terrible childhood trauma, but in terms of how it affected his relationship with Kurt, it didn't bother Blaine at all. He only wished that Kurt had given him a chance to express that to him in person, but he understood why his boyfriend sent him away. Honestly, he would be mortified too, if the roles were reversed.

Blaine unlocked his car door and slid in, sitting idle for a few minutes as he stared at the window of Kurt's bedroom. The light was off and even though it was only about seven, Blaine imagined that transitioning in and out must have been exhausting for him. Thinking about the mental energy it must have taken to house that many different, unique personalities left Blaine's mind reeling. Casting one last longing glance toward the window, Blaine finally started his car and backed slowly out of the driveway and started the trip back to Dalton.

* * *

><p>Sebastian Smythe had to show a great deal of restraint to keep a slow, ambling pace back to his dorm room after peeling away from Jeff that afternoon. As he waited for his laptop to boot up, he thought about Blaine Anderson. School had just started, but the new transfer student had already claimed the junior Warbler as his next potential conquest in his mind. To say that Sebastian was experienced was an understatement. Although he was only seventeen, he was worldly, cultured and one hell of a smooth-talker. Well, smooth-talker was a nice way to say it. Those left in Sebastian's wake might refer to him as a con-artist, or worse.<p>

It wasn't that he intentionally broke hearts, he just had a hard time seeing past his own needs and desires. He was selfish, to put it bluntly. But he was also driven and passionate, and for the short period of time when Sebastian Smythe had chosen someone as his intended, he would make that guy feel like a god.

Finally, the familiar background picture on Sebastian's desktop loaded and he immediately opened the web browser. His homepage was set to Facebook and he clicked his cursor on the search bar.

"Well, Blaine Anderson," He muttered to himself as he started scanning the other boy's profile page. "Let's see what I'm working with." He hovered his mouse briefly over 'In a Relationship with Kurt Hummel' before smirking and clicking on the name. As he read through Kurt's profile and scanned over some of his pictures, Sebastian snickered.

"Oh man, this is going to be easier than I thought," he boasted confidently, closing the laptop screen and leaning back in his desk chair. He threw his hands behind his head and began formulating a plan for domination. Ideas rolling through his head at the speed of light, Sebastian was well-adept at figuring out which techniques worked with which personality types. The fact that he would have Kurt Hummel as an obstacle only excited him more. The fragile looking boy with a bad case of gay-face didn't stand a chance against Sebastian's sex appeal and infamous charm.

Sebastian smiled to himself as he stretched his arms into the air, straightening his back and confidently cracking his knuckles before standing up and grabbing his keys. He decided that his pursuit of Blaine would have to wait until he'd had a decent meal at the dining hall. It would give him a little more prep time and he was always more on top of his game with a full stomach.

"Blaine Anderson, ready or not, here I come."

* * *

><p>Blaine was about halfway back to Dalton when he heard his phone buzzing. Smiling, he figured Kurt must have woken up and decided to call. He grabbed the phone without bothering to check the caller ID.<p>

"Hey babe, I was hoping to hear from you," He greeted, relieved that Kurt wasn't avoiding him. The relief was short-lived however, when he heard a chuckle on the other end that most definitely did not belong to Kurt.

"Well, _babe_, I didn't realize you were expecting my call or I would have dialed your number much sooner," Blaine cringed as he pulled the phone away quickly to see who he was actually talking too. _Sebastian Smythe_, the caller ID read. He was the new transfer student, a Warbler, whom Blaine met at the new student orientation over the weekend. Blaine hadn't put too much thought into the new guy. At the orientation he'd seemed friendly, maybe overly so, and definitely seemed to have no concept of personal boundaries.

"Oh, Sebastian," Blaine responded when he put the phone back to his ear. He could feel the color rising in his face. "Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

"Aww, that's sad for me," Sebastian said with mock hurt, but Blaine could hear the smile in his voice. "I don't know who you thought you were talking to, but whoever it is, he's pretty lucky."

Blaine cleared his throat nervously and reached up to loosen his red and blue striped tie. He'd been in such a hurry to get to Kurt's house, he hadn't bothered stopping by his dorm room to change. Not knowing what to say to that, he simply remained quiet, waiting for the other boy to speak again.

"Well anyway," Sebastian continued, unflustered by the awkward silence. "I was just wondering if you'd like to grab a coffee with me. I'm kind of nervous about my first Warbler practice tomorrow and I thought maybe you could put my mind at rest about it." The lies dripped off of his lips with such ease, it almost scared him. He'd always been a good liar, quick on his feet, but no one should be so good at it, or enjoy it as much as Sebastian did.

"Um, yeah," Blaine murmured, taking his eyes off the road momentarily to read the digital clock on his dash. It was about 7:30. "I'm driving back to Dalton now, and I'll be there at about eight. I can just pick you up outside of Cypress if you want to carpool to the Lima Bean?"

_Carpool_, Sebastian snickered to himself. _He's so hokey, but so adorable. This is going to be fun. _"Sure, that sounds fantastic. I rea—"

Blaine heard a long beep, and then the call went dead. Confused, Blaine pulled the phone away from his ear and noticed that the whole screen was black. It was then that he realized he'd forgot to charge his phone the night before and he must have run the battery out.

"Crap," he muttered to himself, throwing the phone back onto the passenger seat. Turning the radio up loud, he continued on toward Dalton, the events of his night with Gina weighing heavily on his mind while Sebastian and his impending coffee date lurked in the shadows.

* * *

><p>Kurt was already lying in bed awake when the alarm he'd set for ten thirty started buzzing in his ears. Squinting at the sudden concentrated burst of light coming from the bedside table, he grabbed the phone and turned off the alarm. Giving his eyes a few moments to adjust, he began dialing Blaine's number, not quite sure yet what he was going to say once the other boy answered. His hand trembled slightly as he held the phone to his ear.<p>

"Hi, this is Blaine, I ca—" Kurt pulled the phone away in confusion. Blaine's voicemail came on before the phone had even rung once. That was odd. Kurt ended the call and dialed the number again, hitting send before bringing it back to his ear.

"Hi, this is Blaine," Kurt bit his lip in worry. Blaine never turned his phone off. Was the evening that bad? Did Blaine turn his phone off trying to avoid him? "I can't answer the phone right now, so leave a message and I'll call you back!" Kurt patiently waited for the cheerful, generic message to end before drawing in a deep breath and waiting for the beep.

"Blaine," Kurt started, still not quite knowing what to say, especially since, by all appearances, it seemed that his boyfriend was actively ignoring him. "I, um…I just called to say goodnight, and to—to tell you thank you for driving all the way out here and….and that I'm sorry about what happened. I—I'm really embarrassed, which is the understatement of the century, but anyway…I'm rambling I guess, but um…I guess just call me when you get this. I love you."

Kurt winced as he ended the call and threw the phone back down on the bed, groaning. He rolled over, hugging his body pillow close to his chest and tried to fall back asleep, but it was no use. He knew he was in for a long night of tossing and turning and wondering if he'd chased away his boyfriend with his craziness for good.

* * *

><p>Blaine opened the door to his dorm room softly, trying to be quiet in case his roommate Justin was asleep. It was eleven o'clock, an hour past curfew. He hadn't meant to stay out that late. Well, originally he had, but when it became apparent that he would be leaving the Hummel household much sooner than anticipated, he had intended to come back early, maybe even get an early start on his homework assignments. But coffee with Sebastian had turned into <em>coffees<em> with Sebastian, several of them, as Blaine tried to prepare the other boy for the hazards of being a Warbler.

He found it more than a little odd that the new student had so many questions and concerns, when by all outward appearances, he seemed to have more confidence in his pinky finger than Blaine had in his whole body, and Blaine was a pretty confident guy. There was something off about Sebastian that Blaine couldn't quite put his finger on. And it wasn't just that he was obviously hitting on Blaine. It was so over the top that he would have been embarrassed for Sebastian had he not seemed so sure of himself as he tried to put the moves on Blaine.

He had made sure to bring up Kurt several times during their conversation, making it abundantly clear that he wasn't available and wasn't interested, but that didn't seem to deter Sebastian in the slightest. He took everything in stride to the point where it almost flustered Blaine. There was something unnerving about Sebastian's behavior, that was for sure.

Indeed, when Blaine entered the room, he saw that Justin had already gone to sleep. Blaine's roommate was one of those rare, early to bed, early to rise types, which Blaine actually appreciated. He tended to be the same way, so they got along fairly well. Blaine was pretty tired himself and quickly changed into his pajamas before crawling into bed. He didn't even think about the fact that his phone was dead and needed to charge and his mind was swimming with the enigma named Sebastian, so much so that he hadn't even thought about calling Kurt, or at least texting him to tell him goodnight and that he loved him.

* * *

><p>"Blaine, shit, wake up!" Justin shook his roommate's shoulder vigorously, trying to rouse him. Finally, Blaine mumbled sleepily and opened his eyes slightly.<p>

"We slept through the alarm, we have to get going or we're going to be late," Justin hissed, turning back around, trying to change into his uniform as quickly as possible.

Blaine sat up with a start. He hated being late to anything, especially the first week of school. Sure enough, the wall clock read seven forty-five. They had exactly fifteen minutes to be in homeroom or they'd receive an afternoon detention. Blaine threw off the covers and frantically began searching his closet for a fresh uniform. He thanked his former self for having the foresight to pair his suits with all the accoutrements so that all he had to do was grab one hanger and throw on all the clothes it held.

As he finished dressing, he reached for his book bag and phone. It was only when he picked up the device that he realized with a groan that he'd forgotten to put his phone on the charger again last night.

"Blaine, we have to go. Now," Justin ordered, holding the door open. They'd have to run to make it on time at this point. Blaine quickly plugged his phone in, throwing it back on the bed before jogging through the open door, Justin close on his heels.

* * *

><p>Kurt figured he maybe got about two or three hours of sleep, once you added up the fifteen minutes here, five minutes there nature of his night. He found himself checking his phone every time he awoke, the guilt and fear in the pit of his stomach growing each time he checked to see if Blaine had tried to contact him. Now it was seven thirty in the morning and Blaine should be finishing up getting ready to go to class. Kurt hesitated only slightly before dialing his number again.<p>

"Hi, this is Bl—" Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced as the voicemail message began to play again. He ended the call and put his head in his hands for a moment before collecting himself. _Fine, _he told himself. _If he won't answer my calls, I'll just Facebook him. He can't ignore me in a public setting._ Kurt knew he had no right to be angry with Blaine for avoiding him, but his embarrassment over the previous night's events was causing him to put up his defenses.

He scrolled on his phone to the Facebook application and tapped it to open it and began scrolling through his news feed.

"Sebastian Smythe checked in at the Lima Bean with Blaine Anderson," Kurt read aloud quietly. He looked at the time stamp. It showed eight fifteen the night before. _Who the hell is Sebastian Smythe? _Kurt wondered_. And why hasn't Blaine ever mentioned him before?_ Kurt clicked on the name and started reading through the mystery boy's profile.

The profile picture showed a cocky looking guy in a dark green polo shirt. Kurt thought his face had a rodent-like sneer, but perhaps that was because he didn't like the fact that his boyfriend had gone with this guy to the Lima Bean after leaving Kurt's house last night. Kurt learned that Sebastian was a transfer at Dalton and was apparently the newest member of the Warblers. Kurt spent the next half hour dissecting every area of Sebastian's profile before a knock at his door jolted him out of his thoughts.

"Kurt, sweetie, it's time for breakfast," he heard Carole call out. "I know you have to be starving, you barely ate anything last night."

"You mean Gina barely ate anything," Kurt muttered under his breath. "Be right down!" He called out, closing out of the application on his phone. He started to walk to the door, phone in hand, when he thought better of it and threw the phone back onto his bed. No need to torture himself, he reasoned. Blaine would call when he was ready and boy, would they have a lot to talk about.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: Hey everyone! I'm loving how many story alerts this is getting. I'm glad you all like it! I know these chapters are a little on the short side, but I'd rather do it that way and update more often. Blaine's in trouble in this chapter, but hopefully he can get everything straightened out, for his sake and for Kurt's. **

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 7<p>

It took Blaine until lunchtime on Wednesday to realize that with his phone dead and no other means of communication, he should have made some other effort to contact Kurt. The moment he realized what was likely going through Kurt's head, ("I just transitioned in front of my boyfriend for the first time, he saw me in complete drag and now he's ignoring me") he began kicking himself for being so careless.

Sure, he could use his weird night with Sebastian as an excuse, but it wasn't a very good one. He could use the excuse that Kurt was his first real boyfriend and on top of that, they were dealing with circumstances that were a bit abnormal, but that didn't really cut it either. The bottom line was that Kurt, was in a vulnerable spot and even though he didn't mean for Blaine to meet Gina, Burt Hummel thought enough of Blaine to trust that he'd handle the situation appropriately and he'd completely dropped the ball.

"Oh my God," Blaine groaned, dropping his forehead onto the lunch table, narrowly missing his tray.

"What's the problem, Blainers?" Nick asked with a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"I'm an idiot," he answered, voice muffled by the formica tabletop. "A complete and utter idiot."

"Well, yeah," Jeff clapped him on the back, laughing. He grinned goofily at Nick who just shook his head and continued to shovel potatoes into his mouth.

"It's not funny, guys," Blaine shot back, lifting his head up from the table. Both Nick and Jeff grew solemn at the look on his face. "I think I really screwed something up."

"Well, what is it?" Jeff asked. "I'm sure whatever it is, there's an easy fix."

"It's Kurt, and—" Blaine cut himself off. No one at Dalton knew about Kurt's DID, and he knew that Kurt wouldn't appreciate him blabbering his business to all of his friends. "And it's complicated. I have to get back to my dorm room, do you think you guys could cover for me?"

"Yeah, of course," Nick answered, casting a glance at Jeff. "Are you coming back, or…?"

"I don't know yet," Blaine said, standing up and gathering his belongings into his satchel.

"Just make sure you're not late for Warbler practice," Jeff advised him. "We can cover for you in class, but you know excuses don't work with Wes."

"I'll be there," Blaine assured. "Thanks guys, I owe you one."

"Actually," Nick called out after Blaine, who was already making his way out of the cafeteria. "I think you owe us about four! Let's see, Gap attack, duet with Kurt at regionals, singing to Kurt when he returned to Mcki—"

"Yeah, he's gone, dude," Jeff cut him off. "Give it up. Blaine's going to be owing us for the rest of his life."

Nick just smiled and shook his head as he returned his attention to his lunch tray.

* * *

><p>When Blaine rounded the corner on his hallway heading to his dorm room, he was expecting to fumble with his keys for a moment, run in and grab his phone to call Kurt. What he wasn't expecting was to round the corner and almost trip over Kurt, who was sitting cross-legged in front of his door with his head in his hands.<p>

"Kurt?" Blaine asked, confused and surprised by the boys presence. At the sound of his name, Kurt jolted and Blaine realized he must have nodded off sitting there. Kurt looked up at him with an expression on his face that Blaine wasn't sure how to decipher. It was sad, scared and pissed off all rolled into one. "Wh-what are you doing here? I mean, I'm glad you're here, but what are you doing? How long have you been sitting here? Does your dad know you're here, is everything okay?"

"Hello to you too," Kurt answered quietly. Blaine noticed that his eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles under his eyes. He wanted to ask Kurt if he'd gotten any sleep last night, but he figured he'd already bombarded his boyfriend with enough questions. He silently reached out a hand to Kurt, who accepted, and pulled him up off the floor.

"Hi, Kurt," he pulled the other boy into a hug and was saddened and slightly unnerved when Kurt didn't hug him back. "Do you want to come in?" Kurt just nodded and Blaine unlocked the door, gesturing for Kurt to enter before following him in and closing the door behind him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the seat next to him. "Come on, sit down," he urged Kurt, who was pacing nervously in the small space. Kurt shook his head vigorously and continued to pace.

"Kurt—"

"Are you breaking up with me?" Kurt blurted out, cutting him off. He'd stopped pacing and was standing directly in front him, the look on his face almost painful as tears pooled in his eyes.

"What?" Blaine almost shouted, he jumped up and approached Kurt, noticing how he flinched when did. He forced himself to calm down and speak more gently. "Kurt, no. Why would you ever think that?"

"Y-you ignored my calls last night and this morning a-and then you went out with someone last night after you left my house, and—"

"Kurt, Kurt, Kurt," Blaine rubbed his arm soothingly, growing worried at how worked up his boyfriend was getting. "I am so sorry. It's all my fault. Please sit down." This time, Kurt allowed Blaine to lead him over to the bed and sat down, Blaine right next to him as he continue to speak.

"My phone died on the drive back here last night, and me, being the idiot I am, I completely forgot to charge it last night. See?" He pointed over to his phone, which was still lying on the bed where he threw it this morning, green battery light glowing. "I should have used someone else's phone to call you, I just wasn't thinki—"

"Who's Sebastian Smythe?" Kurt cut him off. It appeared that the fear of Blaine breaking up with him had worn off and the anger that Blaine thought he'd seen a few minutes earlier in Kurt's expression was back with a vengeance. How did Kurt know about Sebastian? Blaine searched his brain for a few moments before realizing that Kurt was looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"He's a transfer student and a new Warbler," Blaine answered honestly. "He asked me to go grab a coffee last night because he was nervous about his first practice today."

Kurt's shoulders slumped slightly. "That's all?" He asked, and Blaine felt horrible about the wide-eyed vulnerability of his boyfriend, knowing that he was completely responsible for it.

"That's all, Kurt, I promise," Blaine assured him. "Now, I'm going to hug you again, and it would make me feel absolutely wonderful if you'd hug me back." Kurt let a small smile grace his lips as Blaine wrapped his arms around him. Kurt squeezed him tightly in return and could feel Blaine melt into his touch. They stayed this way for several seconds before Blaine pulled back, holding Kurt out in front of him.

"I am so sorry for causing you to worry like that," Kurt opened his mouth to respond, but Blaine continued. "No, please, let me finish. I can't imagine what thoughts were going through your mind after what happened last night, and then to think that I was ignoring you on top of all that, I…I need you to know that I love you, and Gina and Jamie and Conrad and any of the others are not going to scare me off. You don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed around me, Kurt. In fact, it would hurt me deeply if you were. I want you to trust me and trust that I'm going to be here for you, no matter what."

Kurt took in several deep breaths, trying to absorb everything that Blaine had just told him. "How in the world did I get so lucky?" He asked, letting out a shaky laugh.

"It's me who should be asking that question," Blaine smiled, leaning in to give Kurt a kiss. Every time, it still made Kurt's heart pound and his knees weak.

* * *

><p>Burt had been more than a little upset when he received the phone call from Carole at the shop, saying that she'd found a note from Kurt on the kitchen table when she came downstairs from taking a shower. The note indicated that Kurt was driving out to Westerville to "figure something out." The kid could be so cryptic and dramatic sometimes. But, at the end of the day, Kurt was an adult, even if just barely, and as long as he got his school work done and did what Dr. Simmons asked him to do, Burt couldn't really complain too much.<p>

Burt had spent his morning being too preoccupied to get much done around the shop. Thankfully, it was dead, like most Wednesday mornings, which gave him the opportunity to work on his own little assignment from Kurt's doctor. Before he'd left the house that morning, he'd climbed into the attic, being careful not to make too much noise. Locating the box of photo albums from when Kurt was little, he dusted it off and pulled out several before climbing back down and taking them to his car in the garage. He wasn't sure why he was feeling the need to be sneaky about the whole thing, but he hadn't told Carole what he was doing, and he certainly hadn't mentioned it to Kurt. He carried a lot of guilt and helplessness in regards to Kurt's disorder, and for some strange reason, the thought about being open and honest about what he was doing now magnified those feelings within him.

So after hanging up with Carole, he continued to pore over the albums, scrutinizing each photograph one-by-one and searching for some kind of clue, some starting place in the pictures of his son. He figured the easiest way to do it was to start at the very beginning. He smiled at the photos of him holding Kurt, minutes after the nurse brought him back from being cleaned off and tightly swaddled. He looked so happy, so proud, holding his infant son. He brushed his fingertips lovingly over the photo of the three of them, Burt and Kurt's mother leaned into each other closely with Kurt held in-between them on the hospital bed. She looked exhausted, but more beautiful than ever to Burt.

"What happened?" He asked the smiling face of his first love quietly. "What happened to us? To our son? I'm so lost." Burt's throat began to burn as he pushed back the emotions that always threatened to surface when he thought about Kurt's mother. It had been so hard, so painful losing her. And then Kurt…

"Hey, Boss," Burt cleared his throat loudly, shutting the photo album quickly as Josh, one of the assistant mechanics popped his head into the office. "You gotta come see this, I have no idea where to start on this minivan."

"'Kay, be right there," he called out gruffly. He watched Josh leave before taking the photo album and sliding it carefully into his desk drawer with the others. Rubbing his hands on his face, he shook the emotion out of his features and headed back out to work.

* * *

><p>Sebastian was sitting in French class, trying his best to feign attention to his teacher, who was obviously much less fluent in the language than Sebastian himself was. Like all of his classes at Dalton, this one was proving to be a complete joke to him. Sitting there, he let his mind wander to his time with Blaine the night before. He smirked as he thought about how flustered Blaine looked every time he'd complimented him. So far, Blaine was playing into Sebastian's hands exactly how he'd planned, so much so that Sebastian almost wished it was more of a challenge. All of the sudden, something out of the window caught his eye.<p>

_Ask and ye shall receive_, he thought to himself with a barely contained smile. He watched as Blaine walked across the parking lot, holding hands with Kurt Hummel. They approached a black Navigator and embraced for a moment, exchanging a chaste kiss before Kurt climbed in and Blaine walked away with a wave. This was an interesting development to Sebastian. What was Kurt Hummel doing visiting his boyfriend in the middle of the school day? And Blaine did not strike him as the type to skip out on class, especially this early in the school year. Sebastian watched Blaine until he disappeared out of sight and then returned his gaze to the teacher at the front of the room. He tucked away the scene into the back of his mind, filing it away for future use.

_Two weeks and he's mine_, he vowed to himself. And if it was one thing about Sebastian Smythe, he was never wrong on his romantic estimations. Never.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 8<p>

Kurt hummed contentedly to himself as he drove to his favorite bookstore in Westerville. He and Blaine had made up, but they still had a lot to talk about. Kurt didn't want to be responsible for Blaine missing any more class that day, so they decided to meet up after Warbler practice at the Lima Bean to continue their conversation. According to the digital clock display on his dash board, Kurt had about two and a half more hours to kill before he had to be at the coffee shop.

Kurt had called his father before leaving the Dalton parking lot and received the fully expected earful about not checking with him before being gone for the whole day. Kurt, true to stubborn form, argued that he'd gotten all of his schoolwork done and that when it boiled down, the whole reason he had to go to Dalton to see Blaine was because Burt had let him in the house in the first place the night before. Burt decided not to bring up the fact that Kurt probably would have been equally upset if he'd turned Blaine away from the door when he'd driven all the way out there.

After calling a truce of sorts, Kurt explained about meeting Blaine after he got out of class and Burt agreed that he could stay out in Westerville but he had to be home by ten. Kurt was relieved that he didn't have to fight with his dad over this one. Even though Blaine had told him that he wasn't upset or scared off by Kurt's transition, he was still nervous and embarrassed about it.

The truth was, Kurt was starting to feel very out of control. Transitioning twice in as many days was abnormal, even when compared to the time before he was on medication. Both times, he'd transitioned after only the slightest provocation and unless he could find a way to live a completely stress free life, he was going to have to figure out some way to get his alters under control. The thought of going back on the medication made him shudder, not just because of how it made him feel when he was taking it, but to Kurt, it would seem like a personal failure to have to start medicating again.

Kurt sighed as he pulled into the bookstore parking lot. On the drive over, he'd made up his mind to try to do a bit of research on repressed memories, childhood trauma, and if he could find any books on DID, he'd look at those too. The thought of researching this made Kurt slightly nauseated, although he didn't quite understand why. He always got a bit queasy when he tried to search back in his memory or learn anything about the potential causes behind DID. As it was, Kurt had no solid memories before the age of six. Every now and then, something would flash in his mind—just a shadow of something, but when he tried to delve deeper into it, he'd either transition or get so sick to his stomach that he couldn't continue.

"Suck it up, Hummell," Kurt told himself, turning his car off. He pushed his shoulders back and gave himself a once over in the rearview mirror before stepping out and making his way to the entrance of the bookstore.

* * *

><p>Blaine spent the rest of the day very distracted as he mulled over his conversation with Kurt earlier in the day. He still felt awful about the whole cell phone issue, but if he was being completely honest, the midday visit from Kurt ended up being quite nice. He hated that he had to go back to class, but the boys found time for a quick make-out session before sixth period started, so in the end he'd only missed the second half of his lunch period and fifth period after that. They'd agreed to meet up at the Lima Bean after Warbler practice and Kurt had decided just to bum around Westerville until then. Blaine had invited him to come by the practice to say hello to the boys, but after the events of the previous night, Kurt was still jumpy at the prospect of transitioning again.<p>

Finally, after what seemed like fifteen years, Wes finally banged his gavel and the practice was drawn to a close. Blaine gave a quick goodbye to everyone before bolting out of the room.

"Man, he's in a hurry," Sebastian noted, sidling casually up to Nick's side.

"Yeah," Nick agreed, completely oblivious to the intentions of the smooth-talking transfer. "He's in a hurry to go make out with Kurt, I suppose." Nick grinned at Sebastian, but out of the corner of his eye, he caught Jeff throwing him a look that told him he should probably end the conversation as soon as possible. Confused, his smile faltered a bit as he began to gather his belongings.

"Kurt?" Sebastian asked in what he hoped was an innocent sounding tone. "Does he go here?"

"No, well he used to," Nick explained. "But he transferred back to McKinley in Lima at the end of last year."

"Hey Nick, we should get going," Jeff cut into the conversation, both verbally and physically as he squeezed in between the other two boys. "We've got that history presentation to work on, remember?"

"Presentation?" Nick asked. Jeff fought hard not to roll his eyes. He loved Nick, but he could be so oblivious and trusting sometimes.

"Yeah," Jeff said, trying to tell Nick with his eyes to just go with it. "I think you were in the bathroom when Dr. Hill was explaining it." Finally, something clicked in Nick's expression.

"Oh, yeah," he said, nodding as he addressed Jeff. "I remember now, the presentation, right. Well, we have to go, Sebastian, I'll see you later." Sebastian just nodded, smiled and gave a half-wave as the other two Warblers hurried out of the room.

Once they were out of the room, Sebastian snickered and shook his head as he pulled out his cell phone. It was all a big game to him, and the more gullible little pawns he could pull into it, the better. Nick would be easy to manipulate if he had to, but Jeff was a little smarter. He seemed to see Sebastian and his intentions a little clearer, but he still had no idea what he was dealing with.

He found the Facebook application on his phone and pulled it up, hoping that Blaine was as predictable as Sebastian thought he was. Sure enough, the first item on his news feed was a status update from his target.

"_Headed to the Lima Bean to see Kurt :)"_

"Oh, Blaine," Sebastian smiled. "You are making this way too easy." He put his phone to sleep and dropped it back in his pocket. Gathering his satchel, he made his way for the door as he began plotting his next course of action.

* * *

><p>Blaine was already sitting at their usual table with both of their coffee orders when Kurt entered the coffee shop.<p>

"Hey, you," Blaine broke out into a huge grin when he saw Kurt. Kurt gave him a smile and pulled out his chair to sit down. "How did I beat you here?"

"Well, I ended up at the bookstore, and you know how easily I lose track of time there," Kurt explained. The truth was, once Kurt sat down with his stack of books from the psychology section, he hadn't even worked up the courage to open the first one. He simply sat there, staring out into space until he realized that he was running late for his date with Blaine. "I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"Nah," Blaine assured. "I just sat down, like, two minutes ago."

"Good," Kurt smiled. "How was the rest of your day? And Warbler practice?"

"The rest of my school day was long and boring," Blaine paused to take a sip of his coffee. "And Warbler practice was pretty excruciating since I knew that as soon as it was done I'd get to come see you."

Kurt blushed. Even after all these months, Blaine still managed to make him feel flustered with his flirting and charm. The perfection of it all was that Blaine didn't even realize how cute he was or how every word he said to Kurt was the sound of pure love to him. Of course, this fact also worried Kurt. He often wondered what would happen once Blaine figured out he was way too good for him.

The two sat talking for a good half hour before Blaine caught a familiar figure walking through the door. Sebastian. The transfer looked around casually before locking his eyes on Blaine. He looked bored for a moment before a look of recognition spread over his face and he made his way to the table where the two boys were sitting.

"Blaine, oh my God, what a coincidence," he grinned widely. "I was just looking around for somewhere to sit when my breath was taken away by this amazing looking guy and I was like, 'wait a minute, I know him.' Long time no see, right?" Sebastian laughed lightly and squeezed Blaine's shoulder. Blaine sat there with his mouth hanging slightly open as he looked up at the boy standing over him.

"Blaine?" Kurt's small, but determined voice broke Blaine out of his silence. He turned his focus to Kurt. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, um, this is Sebastian," Blaine said, remembering his manners. "Sebastian, this is Kurt, my boyfriend." Kurt inwardly smiled at the slight emphasis Blaine put on those last two words. Kurt sat up a little straighter and put on his best bitch-smirk.

"Sebastian," he stuck out his hand, which Sebastian stared at, but did not accept. Finally, Kurt cleared his throat and withdrew his hand. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Kurt."

"The pleasure is all mine, trust me," Sebastian replied. Instantly, Kurt was turned off by the slime that seemed to be dripping from each word that slid out of the other boy's mouth. Sebastian returned his attention to Blaine and Kurt noticed that his hand was still lightly squeezing his boyfriend's shoulder. "Hey Blaine, I was wondering if we could get together again tonight to go over the arrangement we talked about at Warbler practice earlier. I could really use some guidance on the harmonies."

"Actually, I don't think tonight is going to work," Blaine said, sincerely apologetic. "I've got some homework to catch up on, and I'd like to spend some time with Kurt before he has to leave."

"C'mon Blaine, homework?" Sebastian laughed and Blaine started to feel very uncomfortable under the weight of the hand that remained possessively on his shoulder. "You can catch up on that later, and I'm sure little Kurt wouldn't mind if I borrowed you for a while, isn't that right Kurtsie?"

"Actually I would mind," Kurt said, trying to stay as calm as possible, but he could feel the heat rising in his neck and the look on Blaine's face was making him very upset. He started to panic a bit as a familiar feeling began washing over him. "Why don't you leave now?"

"Blaine, come on," Sebastian returned his focus to Blaine, the grip of his hand on Blaine's shoulder just a little bit tighter than before. "It'll just be for a little while. I really want to make a good impression with the Warblers."

"Sebastian, I'm sorry but tonight is not a good time," Blaine said, trying to shift away from Sebastian, but the hand remained there.

"Listen, it'll just be—"

"I believe he's told you 'no' several times now, Cowboy." Both Sebastian and Blaine whipped their gazes over to Kurt, whose posture and demeanor had changed drastically in the last few seconds. Kurt spoke with a drawl that Blaine didn't recognize.

"Now, I don't care what you fairy boys do in the bedroom, that's your business," Kurt continued to drawl, his eyes boring into Sebastian. "But the gentleman here obviously wants you to leave, so I think it's best that you scoot on out of here before things get messy."

Sebastian, for probably the first time in his life was shocked into silence. Finally after a few minutes, he found his voice. "Is this some kind of joke?" He laughed humorlessly. Within half a second, Kurt was out of his chair and in Sebastian's face.

"Do I look like I'm joking, son?" He said, looking up into the face of the taller Warbler with the ferocity of a Jack Russell Terrier who doesn't understand he's much smaller than the Rottweiler he's going up against. The quick movement was enough to startle Sebastian and he withdrew his hand from Blaine's shoulder. Blaine took the opportunity to scoot away from his reach and he stood up, slightly apart from the other two boys.

"Blaine what the hell is this?" Sebastian snarled through gritted teeth, not removing his gaze from Kurt in front of him. "Get control of your girlfriend."

"Kurt—"

"The name's Conrad," he responded, cutting off Blaine, but not breaking eye contact with Sebastian. It was a good, old-fashioned stare-down, one neither boy was willing to forfeit. "Now, you have exactly five seconds to get out of here before I embarrass you in front of this entire room of people. I may be smaller than you, but I can kill a man in three moves. Is that something you'd like to risk?"

Sebastian contemplated the bizarre scenario that was unfolding with an almost out-of-body detachment. Finally he decided to retreat until he could figure out what the hell was going on.

"Fine," he surrendered, putting his hands up in the air, and starting to back away slowly. "Call me later, Blaine, once you've ditched the psycho." He shot a glance at Blaine before turning around and heading out of the shop. Several other customers watched him leave before returning their attention to the two remaining boys.

As soon as Sebastian left, Blaine turned back to Kurt—well, Conrad.

"C-Conrad?" Blaine asked tentatively. "Thanks for your help there." He had no idea what he was doing, but he figured the best thing to do would be to get Conrad calmed down enough so that he could go call Burt and ask what to do next.

"Don't mention it," Conrad said with a cocky smile. "That guy seemed like a grade-A asshole."

"Yeah," Blaine chuckled. "Hey, as a thank you, why don't I buy you a drink?"

"Sure, that sounds good," Conrad said. Blaine let out a sigh of relief as Conrad pulled out his chair and sat back down, laying low in the seat and tapping the table tunelessly. "But I don't like those fru-fru coffee drinks. How about a Coke?"

"Sure thing, I'm going to run to the bathroom and then I'll get your Coke and be right back," Blaine answered. Conrad nodded lazily and Blaine headed to the back of the shop where he could keep an eye on the back of Conrad. He took out his phone and scrolled down to Burt's number, silently thanking his former self for saving the contact information from when he called the night before.

After two rings, Burt answered.

"Blaine, is everything okay?" Burt answered, worry lacing his voice. He must have seen Blaine's name on the caller ID and figured that the only reason his son's boyfriend would be calling was if something bad was up.

"Um, hi Mr. Hummel," Blaine greeted nervously. "Listen, I'm at the Lima Bean with Kurt, but he's not Kurt right now. I think he said his name is Conrad?"

"Shit," Blaine winced as he heard Burt's curse. "Okay son, thank you for calling, that's exactly the right thing to do. Now do me a favor and try to keep him there until I can get there. If he starts to leave, try to talk him out of it, but don't try to stop him physically. He's pretty aggressive when he's Conrad and he can throw a mean punch, trust me. If you can't get him to stay, just follow him in your car and call me and I'll meet you wherever you end up. I'm leaving now, so I should be there in less than an hour."

"Okay—" Blaine began, but his phone beeped to signal that Burt had ended the call. He put his phone back in his pocket and headed over to the counter to get Conrad's soda, hoping and praying that he could keep Conrad there until Burt arrived.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

Sebastian sat in his car in the Lima Bean parking lot for almost an hour, mulling over the bizarre scene that had taken place. He had dealt with his share of jealous boyfriends in the past, but adopting a southern drawl, a twinge of homophobia and answering to a different name? That was definitely new territory. Normally Sebastian would be excited about such an interesting challenge, but there was something fishy going on, more so than it even appeared to the casual observer.

First of all, Sebastian noticed that Kurt didn't change his posture or demeanor once Sebastian left. From where his car was parked, he could see the table where the two boys sat very clearly. In fact, had either of them bothered to focus their gaze out the window in his direction, they would have seen Sebastian staring at them, taking it all in. Sebastian noticed that Kurt remained leaned back casually at the table, nothing like the uptight, perfect posture with daintily crossed legs he'd observed before he had approached their table.

Also, while Blaine looked a little worried, he wasn't acting like this was completely out of the blue. It was almost like he was shocked at first, like Sebastian, but then he quickly assessed the situation and took control. Almost like he had practice. Like this wasn't the first time Kurt had done this. Well, Blaine was super cute, so it didn't surprise Sebastian that he might be fighting guys off left and right, but surely the two didn't pull this elaborate stunt each time someone made an advance on Blaine.

Something was going on, something weird, and Sebastian was determined to find out. It went beyond trying to conquer Blaine at this point. He had to know what was going on, and once he figured it out, he would have all the ammunition he needed to get anything he wanted at Dalton. Boys, Warbler solos, anything. Just from the wistful tone Nick had used when telling him that Kurt no longer went to Dalton, Sebastian could tell that the Warblers not only loved Blaine, but still thought very highly of Kurt.

It was then that a thought occurred to Sebastian. What if the Warblers didn't know about Kurt's little alter ego? What if it was something Blaine knew about, but kept secret from the rest of his friends? It was obvious, watching the two boys in the coffee shop for so long, that whatever snapped in Kurt wasn't going away as quickly as it came. It was definitely not an act, he decided.

Sebastian had started to lose track of time, when he noticed a middle-aged man dressed in greasy coveralls approach the table. He watched as Blaine greeted the man and got up to follow him when the man indicated with a nod that he apparently wanted to talk to him away from Kurt. Kurt remained at the table, sipping what must have been at that point his fourth soda. Sebastian watched Blaine and the man talk in the corner, both casting furtive glances back in Kurt's direction. Blaine had his arms crossed over his chest with his head down while the other man spoke, emphasizing certain words with lively gestures. After a minute or two, the man clapped his hand on Blaine's shoulder and said something to him, which made Blaine smile and nod slightly.

When the two returned to the table, the man sat down where Blaine had been sitting and Blaine, much to Sebastian's confusion, gave Kurt a brisk hand shake, waved to the other man, and walked out of the coffee shop. Sebastian quickly ducked his head as Blaine moved past his car in the parking lot, but thankfully he didn't seem to notice him sitting there. Sebastian watched Blaine start his car and drive away before returning his attention to the two remaining in the coffee shop. Almost as soon as he started watching again, he saw Kurt's demeanor change. The man was rubbing Kurt's back lightly, and Kurt had straightened up in his seat again. He saw Kurt scan the coffee shop several times and shake his head 'no' to something the man was telling him before his shoulders slumped and he laid his head in his crossed arms on the table.

After a minute with his head down and the man talking to him, he finally sat up, and with what looked like a resigned sigh and nod, he stood up and allowed the man to guide him out of the coffee shop. Sebastian observed the man opening the passenger side door to his car and guiding Kurt in before shutting the door gently and going over to get in on the driver's side. _That's strange_, Sebastian thought to himself. _Looks like they're leaving Kurt's car here._

And who was that man? He didn't look like someone Kurt or Blaine would be hanging out with, so maybe he was Kurt's dad? Whoever he was, he seemed to be able to break Kurt out of whatever trance he'd been in and now, with the man's car driving out of sight, Sebastian made a decision to do something that even _he_ wouldn't normally do.

Stepping out of his car, he walked casually over to where Kurt's SUV was parked. He circled it once, glancing around nonchalantly to make sure that no one was watching him before testing the driver's side door handle. It was locked. Sebastian peered in the window and checked the other doors, which all appeared to be locked as well. He was about to give up when something caught his eye. It was a tiny white card, like a business card, that was lying in the floorboard on the passenger's side. Sebastian squinted trying to get a better look at it from where he was standing but he couldn't quite make it out.

Looking around once more, he moseyed over to the passenger's side window and angled his neck to look in. He was close enough now to make out what was on the card.

_Appointment for Kurt Hummel: Tuesday at 10:00_

_Dr. Becca Simmons, Lima Behavioral Health Group_

Sebastian quickly catalogued the information in his brain and smiled. He had a starting point at least. Well, several actually. He imagined that with the right motivation, he could get some valuable information out of some of the Warblers as well, especially Nick. Blaine too, although he recognized that he'd have to lay low with Blaine for at least a few days and tweak his strategy slightly if he was going to be able to get Blaine to trust him enough to start spilling the dirt about his curious little boyfriend.

Sebastian clapped his hands together once before dropping his arms to his sides. He walked casually back to his car, making a mental checklist of things to do that night. First was to get on the internet and learn more about this Dr. Simmons. Depending on what he learned there, he'd plot his next move. Hopefully by this time tomorrow, he'd have more answers, and more drama than even he knew what to do with.

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><p>After taking Kurt home and putting him to bed, Burt climbed back into his car with Finn in the passenger seat now and began making his way back to the Lima Bean to pick up Kurt's car. Burt was exhausted. Not only had it been a long day at work and quite an ordeal to drive all the way out to Westerville twice, but Burt had spent every free moment poring over the photo albums in his office. The task was made even more difficult by the facts that he was having to keep all of this a secret and he didn't have any idea what he was looking for.<p>

In the end, he'd pulled out several photographs, carefully peeling them from the sticky backing of the photo album page. One was a picture of Kurt from when he was about four, playing in a sandbox with a little blond headed boy. Even though he recognized the boy as Kurt's best friend at that age, he couldn't for the life of him remember his name. Thankfully, for Burt's sake, Elizabeth was always good about labeling each photograph they'd taken, with who was in the shot, where they were and the date. He silently sent up a thank you to his deceased wife for helping him with the task. When he flipped the photo over, Burt's breath caught slightly as he instantly recognized the pretty, looping print:

_Edward Szabo and Kurt, playing in the sandbox at East Lima Park, June 20, 1997._

_Edward Szabo, _Burt thought to himself. _How could I have forgotten that name? Whatever happened to that kid?_ Burt racked his brain trying to remember what happened to his son's friendship with the boy. At a certain point, Kurt began to withdraw from his friends, but Burt had always assumed it was because of Elizabeth's illness and death. What if there had been something more?

The second picture he'd plucked out of the photo album was one of Kurt at his sixth birthday party. He was sitting with his arms folded on the table and his birthday cake in front of him. He wore a paper cone hat and everyone in the picture was smiling, except for Kurt. Burt thought his son looked tired, worn out, and maybe it was just because he'd had so much fun that day, too much stimulation. But after studying the picture for several minutes, Burt decided there was something else there in Kurt's expression. Was it resignation? Exhaustion? Fear? He couldn't quite tell, but it didn't sit well with Burt.

He tucked that photo, along with the other, carefully inside his invoice book and he wrote a note to remind himself to carry it home with him that night. It was right around then that he heard his phone ringing and saw that Blaine was trying to call him.

Now, several hours later, he was listening to Finn explain animatedly about his football practice that afternoon. Burt had stopped the boy as soon as he came into the house after practice and asked him to go with him to get Kurt's car. Subsequently, a metallic, sweaty scent filled Burt's car and he made a mental note to have Finn drive his own car back while Burt took Kurt's. Burt had at least had a chance to change out of his coveralls after putting Kurt to bed and before Finn's arrival.

Burt decided that there wasn't much time to lose with getting to the bottom of Kurt's behavior. He'd now transitioned three times in as many days, more frequent than ever, medication or no. Tomorrow he'd try to find some way of contacting Edward Szabo on the off chance that he may be able to fill Burt in on his and Kurt's friendship and why it fell apart.

Burt tried not to focus on how out of control he felt with his own son. How afraid, how terrified he was of what might happen if he couldn't get him the help he needed. Burt pushed back the tears that threatened to surface, knowing it would only scare Finn to see his step dad in such a state. Burt would do what he always did. He'd wait until he was alone, in the privacy of his bedroom or bathroom or office, and cry out of sight of everyone else. Cry until it was all out and until he felt like he could go back out into the world and be the rock that his family and employees expected him to be.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks for reading!<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Wow, I'm feeling all the love this story is getting and it's great! Definitely keeps me motivated. This chapter checks in on Kurt and Blaine and how they are processing the last few days, so it's a bit angsty, be warned.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara.**

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

Blaine was mentally drained by the time he dragged into his dorm room and collapsed on the bed. Looking over at the bedside clock, he groaned when he realized it was only six thirty in the evening. Why did it seem so much later? The whole incident with Kurt/Conrad had put him on almost an excited edge while everything was unfolding, but now he felt empty and numb with no clear direction on what to do with the rest of his night. He figured he should probably buckle down and do the homework he'd been neglecting for the last couple nights, but part of his brain was encouraging him to just push it off for another day. After all, it was still the first week of school, it's not like he could get _that_ behind.

He really cared about Kurt. Loved him, even. In fact, he'd told him as much at the beginning of the summer. But that was before he knew the extent of Kurt's disorder. Truth be told, Blaine was scared. Not necessarily of Kurt or his alters, but of what they represented for he and Kurt's life together, should things move in that direction. Of course Blaine thought about the future, he thought about it often. He thought about where Kurt fit into his future and usually it was with warmth and a steady, excited hum of anticipation. He blushed as he thought back to the cocky self-assuredness he'd worn, even up until this afternoon, about how he could help Kurt overcome his problems. As long as they loved each other, there was nothing the two couldn't accomplish, right?

"Oh my God, I'm so in over my head."

"Anything you'd like to talk about, Blaine?" Blaine bolted upright at the sound of his roommates voice. He didn't even notice when he came in the room that Justin was sitting crosslegged on his bed with a book in his lap. Justin was overall a very quiet, considerate person, but Blaine really must have been out of it to not even notice him sitting there three feet from his own bed until he opened his mouth. Plus, Blaine had no idea he'd spoken that last part aloud.

"Oh, hey Justin," Blaine clumsily tried to recover. "No, it's fine, just first week of school jitters."

"Right," Justin replied skeptically. "Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

Blaine offered him a smile before opening the drawer of his bedside table. He fished around for a few seconds before pulling out his I-Pod and headphones. "Thanks, but I think I'm just gonna go for a walk. You know, clear my head a bit."

Justin nodded at him and returned his attention to his book. Blaine breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Justin wasn't going to push it. Not that he expected him to. That's part of what made Justin a great roommate. He was a good listener and offered sound advice, but never unsolicited. And right now, the last thing Blaine needed was for his friends to start nosing around in what was going on with Kurt.

No one at Dalton, with the exception of himself and the faculty, knew about Kurt's DID. Kurt was adamant that he didn't want them knowing. Blaine suspected that some of the more discerning members of the Warblers sensed that there was something different about Kurt (aside from the obvious flares for fashion and the dramatic), but no one had outright questioned Kurt or Blaine about anything. As far as he knew, the kids at McKinley were in the dark as well, with the exception of Finn, which the more Blaine got to know Kurt's stepbrother, the more impressed he was at his ability to keep his mouth shut on this particular issue. It definitely gave Blaine a new level of respect for Finn.

Until this evening, Blaine had never felt the need to talk about Kurt's disorder to anyone other than Kurt. So far, he realized with a large measure of guilt, it had been easy and sort of exciting to think about. It wasn't that he wanted Kurt to suffer, the whole thing was just so _bizarre_. And really, when he'd been on the medication, his alters rarely surfaced and when they did, it was usually for only a few minutes at a time and never in Blaine's presence. It wasn't until now that Blaine started to think about the dark side of it all. The fact that Kurt no longer appeared to have any measure of control over his own life. The fact that when his alters took over, he had no recollection of what they might have said or did unless someone told him afterwards. The fact that Burt Hummel had told him an hour ago in the coffee shop that he was terrified of his own son's condition and the possibility of some gruesome or traumatic experience in Kurt's childhood that may have caused Kurt's life to spiral out of control.

In short, Blaine felt like a terrible human being. To think that he'd once romanticized Kurt's DID, and his own role in "curing" his boyfriend, as if love truly could conquer all. He laughed bitterly to himself as he shoved his earbuds in, cranking up the volume on the playlist he turned to on those rare moments in his life when he felt like indulging in his negative emotions. He walked out of his dorm and headed to the courtyard that was surrounded on all sides by the other dormitories. He circled around one of the large reflecting pools and exited the bordering sidewalk onto an offshoot path toward the woods on the westside of campus.

It was still early enough in the summer evening that the sun sat still rosy and soft in the sky. He figured he had a good hour left before complete dark. Enough time to calm down and center his focus back on how to best help and love Kurt, but not nearly enough time to figure out the best way of going about it. Blaine had no idea what he was doing and that part terrified him. But he did know that he loved Kurt and he had no desire to be apart from him. He was scared, sure, but he wasn't going to be scared away.

Love may not be enough to conquer Kurt's disorder, but it was enough to conquer Blaine's fear.

OOO

Kurt woke up after a two hour nap, feeling slightly disoriented. It didn't take long, however, for the incident at the Lima Bean to come crashing into his brain again. He remembered meeting Blaine there, talking to him for a while. He remembered meeting Sebastian Smythe and he remembered getting a bad vibe from the tall Warbler. And then he remembered his dad sitting where Blaine was supposed to be. He remembered his dad's hand over his on the table, his soothing words. He remembered looking around for Blaine before his dad told him Blaine had already left, but not to worry, he wasn't upset or weirded out.

Kurt wasn't so sure about that. Really, who wouldn't be weirded out by all this? Kurt himself was weirded out by the whole thing and he didn't have a choice about it like Blaine did. Blaine didn't have to stick around for all this if he didn't want to, and Kurt wasn't so sure he should try to convince him to. Was it fair to ask that of his boyfriend of six-ish months? Was it fair to ask his seventeen year old boyfriend to take on the responsibilities that came along with being in love with a crazy person?

"Kurt you are _not_ crazy. I don't ever want to hear you say that about yourself." How many times had his father said those words to him over the past few years? Over the past few days? He knew it must be exhausting for his father to not only have to put up with the antics of his alters, but to have to constantly reassure his son that he was okay, that things would get better, when there was really no guarantee that they would. Kurt didn't often feel hopeless, but the last few days left him feeling lower than low. He no longer felt like he had control over any part of his life and he was desperately trying to keep the panic that was starting to edge into his brain at bay.

Sitting up in bed, Kurt noticed it was about 8:30 at night. Aside from really having to pee, he knew that he should probably get a decent meal in him and it wouldn't be a bad idea to make another entry into his video journal. The last one he'd made had also been his first, on Monday morning, and as far as he knew, neither Conrad or Gina had taken it upon themselves to make an entry, despite the note he left by his laptop per Dr. Simmons' instructions. He had no idea if either of them even knew how to work a computer.

Standing up, he stretched his muscles and stifled a yawn. He made a mental note to ask Dr. Simmons about all the sleeping at his next appointment. He usually slept a lot after a transition, but this was getting ridiculous. He was starting to feel like over the past few days if he wasn't transitioning, he was asleep, meaning he was never conscious and himself at the same time. How depressing was that?

Kurt took a passing glance in his bathroom mirror after emptying his bladder and trudged downstairs. Walking into the kitchen, he saw Carole sitting at the table with an open book and a mug of tea. She smiled warmly at him.

"Hey Kurt, how are feeling?" She asked him gently. If Kurt had the energy, he would have reminded her that he wasn't so fragile, that he didn't need the baby talk, but who would he be kidding? He was more fragile than ever and turning his back on those who knew, loved and supported him wasn't exactly a smart move.

"I'm okay I guess," he answered, moving toward the fridge. "Where's dad?" And where was Finn for that matter? The house seemed entirely too quiet for this time of night.

"He and Finn went to Westerville to pick up your car," she replied, answering both his voiced and unspoken questions at once. "They should be home any minute though, really. Can I fix you anything to eat?"

"No, but thank you," he answered graciously. After all these years, Kurt had to admit it was nice to have a mother in the home again. "I think I'll just heat this up." He held up a plastic container full of spaghetti and moved around to the microwave. Carole smiled and lowered her gaze to her book again.

After a few minutes, the microwave beeped and with careful hands, Kurt pulled the dish out.

"Do you mind if I take this up to my room?" Kurt asked, somewhat guiltily. It's not that he didn't want to be around Carole, he just had a lot on his mind that he wanted to process before he got sleepy again for the night.

"Not at all, Sweetheart," she smiled. "Just let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"I will," Kurt smiled back. "And thank you, Carole. I mean it. For everything." He backed out of the kitchen and turned around to head upstairs.

Five minutes later, Burt and Finn were walking through the door. Finn carried a Burger King sack and immediately sat down at the table next to his mom and began to eat. Burt shuffled around the kitchen, fixing a glass of water and scanning the fridge for a Kurt-approved dinner while Finn and Carole made small talk about Finn's school day.

"I think I'm going to go upstairs and call Rachel," Finn announced after polishing off his burger and fries. Carole and Burt said goodnight to their son and waited until they heard his bedroom door clothes before speaking.

"Has he come down yet?" Burt asked tentatively as he sat down at the table with a sandwich. Carole smiled at him and placed her book to the side.

"Yeah, he was just down," she answered softly. "He took a bowl of spaghetti up to his room to eat. I wish he'd stayed down here, but I was just happy to see him eating. He's been looking too thin lately."

"I know," Burt agreed with a mouthful of bread. "I just…" he remembered his manners and halted his thought until he could swallow the bite of food and chase it with a sip of water. "I wish that I knew how to help him. I feel so out of control, Carole. He's my son and I…I have no idea what to do. I feel like I'm losing him." Burt couldn't remember ever feeling this vulnerable and scared in his life.

"I know you do, Honey," Carole replied. "But Kurt is strong. Probably the strongest person I know. He'll get through it, we just have to make sure we do what we can to help him."

At that moment, Burt felt the weight of his secret investigation into Kurt's past crash down on his shoulders again. Why in the world would he be keeping this from Carole? He was started to wonder if he himself had some kind of repressed memory. Something in his subconscious that was keeping him from being honest with her. _Subconscious be damned_, he thought to himself, inhaling deeply and trying to calm his nerves. He pushed his plate back and turned his body to face his wife.

"There's something I need to tell you about."

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><p><strong>Comments and suggestions are always appreciated. Thanks for reading.<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: You all are awesome, in case I haven't told you lately. Thanks for the encouragement and feedback. **

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 11<p>

Sebastian didn't waste any time booting up his laptop the minute he arrived back in his single dorm room. The whole drive back from the coffee shop was spent scheming about possible courses of actions and potential outcomes. If there was any guilt for getting so much enjoyment out of the hardships of another person, it was overwhelmed and muted by the excitement he felt over having a new project.

At his old school, Sebastian had wreaked so much havoc that the dean had, in a close-door meeting, all but paid Sebastian's parents to relocate him. Everything to Sebastian was a game and he had no intentions of putting an end to his fun any time soon.

As he waited for his computer to load, he strolled over to the window and looked out onto the courtyard. For the second time that day, he spied Blaine Anderson walking outside, only this time he was obviously unaccompanied by Kurt. He was alone actually, and Sebastian could barely make out the black earbuds and cord traveling from his neck to an mp3 player in his left hand.

The object of his affection was walking in the opposite direction of Sebastian's dorm, heading towards the woods on West Campus. Sebastian briefly contemplated running out and jogging to catch up with him, but quickly remembered that his plan called for him to lay off of Blaine, at least for a few days, until he could get a clearer picture of what the hell was going on with his boyfriend. Turning reluctantly from the window, Sebastian sat back down at his desk and opened up his web browser.

"Doctor Becca Simmons," he spoke aloud as he typed the name into the Google search bar. "Lima, Ohio." He clicked the search button and waited impatiently for the results to load. The top result told him everything he needed to know. Grinning widely, he clicked the link that lead him to the home page of Lima Behavioral Health Group.

_Doctor Biographies_

_Dr. Becca Simmons, MD Psychiatrist has been practicing with Lima Behavioral Health Group since 2000. She has almost twenty years of experience in treating children, adolescents and young adults with severe psychological needs and disorders. Dr. Simmons recently co-published a study with Ohio State University's Dr. Quresh Varshney about the comorbidity of Major Depressive Disorder and Disassociative Identity Disorder in youths._

Sebastian spent the next few hours researching the different types of disorders listed on the website for Lima Behavioral. By the end of his search, the only thing he was sure of was that Kurt must have some kind of severe psychological disturbance to require the services of Dr. Simmons.

Before logging off, Sebastian decided to prowl around on Facebook for a little bit. Heading to Kurt's profile, he noticed that the last activity from the boy had been over a week ago. A couple of his friends had written messages to him, mostly about missing him at school. _Wait,_ Sebastian thought to himself, _so Kurt's not at Dalton and he hasn't been at McKinley either?_ Scrolling down a bit further on the page, he got his answer.

_Mercedes Jones: Hey Kurt, we've missed you this week, hope the homeschooling is going alright and maybe we'll see you at glee club tomorrow? If not, we definitely need to plan a shopping trip! –Sent yesterday at 7:02 pm_

"Home school?" Sebastian smirked. "What kind of loser…" he trailed off as he started to examine the puzzle pieces in his head.

_Kurt used to go to Dalton where he met and started dating Blaine._

_Kurt transferred back to McKinley last year while Blaine stayed at Dalton._

_Kurt is homeschooling this year and apparently seeing Dr. Simmons for some kind of crazy._

Sebastian couldn't make sense out of any of it, but he knew that it was only a matter of time before things started to fall into place. He picked up his phone and contemplated trying to make some more headway with some of the Warblers, but noticing the time on his phone, he decided to call it a night. He had nothing but time, now. He might as well slow down and enjoy the ride.

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><p>"Okay, it's August 26th and it's about nine fifteen in the evening," Kurt began speaking, looking at his face as it was displayed on his laptop screen. "It's been a little over two days since my last journal entry and in that time, I've transitioned three times. The first was right after I ended my first journal entry. Conrad took over and spent most of the day doing….Conrad things. Then yesterday, while I was getting ready for Blaine to come over, I transitioned into Gina, which was highly embarrassing as you can probably imagine."<p>

Kurt shook his head and lowered his gaze in embarrassment. "Listen to me, talking like someone is listening. I'm not even sure why Dr. Simmons is having me do this. I can't see what good it's going to do, but I'm putting in my best effort like I promised my dad. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Gina. So Gina was here and then she was gone. Blaine met her, apparently, but he didn't really tell me a whole lot about what it was like or what they talked about. He tried to assure me today that it didn't change anything but I'm not sure I buy that.

"Speaking of Blaine, I went to see him at Dalton today. I was really worried, but he helped me feel better. Until we ended up at the Lima Bean and I transitioned and Conrad yet again took over. One minute I'm sitting there talking to my boyfriend and the next thing I know my dad is there, trying to convince me that everything was okay. I just feel so out of control. It's almost enough to make me want to reconsider the whole medication issue, but every time I thing about how it made me feel when I was on it, it just makes me sick. I don't ever want to feel that way again, but at the same time all this transitioning is exhausting."

Kurt looked down at his mouse, getting ready to close out the window before softly adding, "And I think it's killing my dad."

"Kurt?" He could hear his father's voice coming from the other side of the door. "Can I come in, buddy?"

"Sure Dad," Kurt closed the screen of his laptop gently and turned his body so he faced the door as his dad slowly entered.

"Hey kiddo, how are you feeling?" Burt asked, taking a seat next to Kurt on his bed.

"A lot better," Kurt answered truthfully. He was still upset about transitioning in public at the coffee shop and in front of Blaine again, but he'd gotten some rest and his first decent meal in several days, so overall he was feeling pretty alright considering the circumstances. "Thanks for going to get my car, and I'm sor—"

"Don't finish that," his father warned him, cutting off his apology. "I'm just glad Conrad decided to stick around this time. Blaine did a good job keeping him occupied." Burt's smile dropped a little when he saw the look on Kurt's face. "I know you don't believe me, but he's fine, Kurt. I think you have yourself a keeper."

"Yeah, but it isn't really fair to him, is it Dad?" Kurt asked, the worry from earlier in the day washing back over him. "It isn't fair for me to ask him to carry this burden with me."

Burt thought for a moment before responding. "No, you're right, Kurt. It wouldn't be fair for you to ask him to do that. But the way this kid was talking about you earlier today, and what you mean to him, I don't think you're going to have to beg him to stick around." Burt's smile returned as he saw the flush rise up his son's face to the tips of his ears. Kurt looked down into his lap with a combination of embarrassment and happiness.

"You really like him, don't you?" Burt asked his son gently. Kurt brought his gaze up to meet his dad's.

"I love him." Kurt stated simply. Burt nodded silently and put his arm around his son, drawing him in for a side hug. They sat like that for several comfortably quiet minutes before Burt cleared his throat softly and began to speak again.

"Hey Kurt, I need to ask you about something," Burt began, feeling the nerves rising in his stomach. After talking to Carole and explaining how he was trying to decipher Kurt's past, she'd convinced him to ask Kurt about his friendship with Edward Szabo before trying to contact the other boy. After all, the dissolution of their friendship could have nothing to do with Kurt's DID. Or maybe, depending on Kurt's reaction, he might learn that the friendship had everything to do with it.

"What is it, Dad?" Kurt asked, the innocent trust in his voice almost breaking Burt.

"I came across an old photo earlier today," Burt said, fishing around for the picture of the two boys in the sand box in his left chest shirt pocket. He'd left the birthday photograph tucked safely in his invoice book. Pulling it out, he handed it over to Kurt, trying to read the expression on his son's face. "Do you remember this?"

"Yeah," Kurt said, furrowing his brow. "That's me and Edward. Where did you get this?" Kurt looked at his dad suspiciously. Why was he looking at old photographs and what was it about this one in particular that gave his father pause?

"Well, I was just going through some of our old family albums," Burt began his practiced explanation. He could tell by the look on Kurt's face that he was only half-buying it. "And I came across this one and just started thinking, you know, you two had been really close and then all of the sud—"

"I don't know, Dad," Kurt cut him off abruptly, shoving the photograph back at his dad. "We just grew apart, I guess. I'm kind of tired, though. Can we talk about this later?" Kurt didn't wait for an answer before standing up and walking over to the corner of his room. He turned around to face his dad, his arms crossed protectively over his chest. He didn't know why he was reacting this way to a stupid photograph, but for some reason, he really didn't feel like a walk down memory lane right that moment.

"Kurt, I just wan—"

"Dad, please," Kurt begged, his eyes pleading with Burt. Something was definitely wrong. "I'm really tired and I think you should leave."

Burt opened his mouth, but couldn't quite form a response. Kurt had never kicked him out of his room before. There was no doubt in his mind now that Edward had something to do with whatever it was in Kurt's past that he was using the DID to cope with.

"Okay, son," Burt answered, slowly getting up from the bed. "Try to get some sleep. I love you." He heard Kurt mumble, "I love you too," before he exited the room and shut the door softly behind him.

He stood outside the door for several moments, contemplating the photograph, when all of the sudden he could hear retching noises coming from inside of Kurt's bathroom.

"Damnit," he cursed, knowing that Kurt's body was in the process of rejecting the one decent meal he'd had in a long time. Things were looking up for Kurt before Burt brought up that stupid photograph. He could have kicked himself for not waiting until tomorrow to breach the subject with his son, but at the same time, how much longer could he wait? It felt like he was dealing with a ticking time bomb and watching the minutes pass by without a solution was killing him.

Burt stayed outside the room for a few more minutes until Kurt's heaving stopped and he heard the toilet flush and the shower turn on. Putting the photograph back in his pocket, he slowly retreated to his bedroom and tried to put together a plan for reaching Edward Szabo the next day.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: First of all, let me apologize for this chapter being so short. I've been experiencing a bit of a block with this story, so I'm trying to work through it the best I can, and that might mean a few shorter chapters until I can get the story line straightened out in my head again. **

**bethanycriss: I'm glad you like Conrad so much! He's a blast to write. He's kind of a mix between Kurt from the Laryngitis episode in season 1, Buck from United States of Tara, and the redneck boys I went to high school with here in Georgia. I'm sure he'll be back again soon :)**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 12<p>

"So what exactly did you want to talk about?" Nick asked the boy sitting opposite of him in-between long gulps of Coke. He didn't go off campus too much, so going to the Lima Bean where he had unlimited free refills of soda was definitely something he was going to take advantage of.

"Oh, you know," the other boys answered casually, arm propped casually on the back of his chair as he sat sideways, his legs crossed loosely. "I just haven't had a chance to make very many real connections here at Dalton yet and you seemed like someone who'd make a good friend." The boy smiled almost painfully, trying his best to convince Nick that he was a good guy, when in fact, Sebastian Smythe was nothing more than a conman. He had every intention of being Nick's 'friend' for as long as it took to get the information he needed.

"That's cool," Nick replied casually, completely oblivious to Sebastian's true motives. Unlike Sebastian, Nick was a genuinely good-hearted person. He rarely disliked someone and when he did, it was only after giving them the benefit of the doubt a hundred times first. "Are you liking it here so far?"

"Yeah," Sebastian answered, placing his coffee cup down on the table. "Everyone's been so nice, especially the Warblers. Hey, speaking of, who is this Kurt Hummel I keep hearing so much about?"

Nick put down his glass excitedly. "Oh Kurt? He's great. He transferred here last year for a little while because he was having problems at his old school, but then he went back. He was a Warbler while he was here and he made a great addition to the group. We were pretty bummed to see him go."

"Wow," Sebastian said, with all the fake enthusiasm he could muster. "So, if he fit in so well here, why did he leave?"

"I don't really know all the details," Nick answered, furrowing his brow slightly. "He was bullied at McKinley by this stupid jock but then they worked out some kind of deal or something so he could go back. I don't know. You should ask Blaine, he knows all the details."

"Wait," Sebastian replied, mimicking Nick's confused look from a few moments earlier. "Kurt…is Kurt who Blaine is dating?" Nick nodded as he down another gulp of Coke. "Okay, everything makes a lot more sense now. But wow, that must be pretty tough on Blaine, huh? Long distance relationship and all?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders casually. "Nah, they seem to have it figured out."

Sebastian waited a few moments to see if Nick was going to add anything else before he began moving in for the kill. "Say, I heard something else that kind of confused me about Kurt."

"What's that?" Nick asked, putting his glass back down with concern.

"Well," Sebastian started, fiddling nervously with the paper sleeve of his coffee cup. "I feel horrible for gossiping, but….well, I heard that he had some…problems"

"What do you mean?" Nick asked, completely confused. This wasn't a good sign to Sebastian. "What kind of problems?"

"I overheard someone talking in the cafeteria about him," Sebastian said softly, leaning over the table so Nick could hear him properly. "About his disorder?"

Nick stared at the other boy for a moment. He was starting to feel a shadow of suspicion growing in the back of his mind. What was Sebastian getting at? "I really don't know what you're talking about. There's nothing wrong with Kurt."

Sebastian leaned back. _Damn_, he thought_. I was really hoping to get somewhere with him, but he really doesn't have a clue._

"You know what?" Sebastian asked, putting on his patented charming smile. "They must have been talking about someone else. I shouldn't have assumed it was Kurt."

"It's cool," Nick said quickly. Maybe he was wrong about Sebastian's motives. Maybe he really was just trying to make some friends. "But hey, do you think we could make our way back to the school? I'm supposed to meet Jeff for dinner."

"Sure thing, Nick," Sebastian answered, standing up from the table. "Will you do me a favor though?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Will you just forget that I asked that question about Kurt? I feel really bad that I thought those guys at lunch were talking about Kurt and I don't want anyone to get a bad impression of me. I'm not that kind of guy." Sebastian could tell be the forgiving twinkle in Nick's eye that he didn't have anything to worry about.

"Sure, yeah," Nick nodded, smiling back at the other boy. "We all make mistakes."

"Yes we do," Sebastian replied, laughing a little too loudly. With that, the two of them headed out of the Lima Bean and back to Dalton. All the while, Sebastian started working on developing the next step in his plan.

* * *

><p>Burt's fingers shook slightly as he typed the number into his cell phone. He checked it against the one he found online three times before hitting the send button and bringing the ringing phone to his ear.<p>

After the third ring, someone picked up and from the sound of the voice, he was pretty sure he had the right person.

"Hello?"

"Uh, yeah hi," Burt stumbled as he realized for the first time that he hadn't prepared what he wanted to say in case he actually did get through on the first try. "I'm trying to reach Edward Szabo?"

"Yeah, this is Edward, who is this?"

Burt's heart pounded so hard, he thought he might be having another heart attack. He had no idea he would be this nervous, but then again, why wouldn't he be? After all, this was his son's life he was talking about.

"Edward," Burt cleared his throat and tried to steady his voice. "This is Burt Hummel. Kurt Hummel's father?"

There was a long pause. Such a long pause that Burt thought that maybe the call had been dropped, but then he could hear Edward breathing slightly on the other end.

"Do you remember Kurt?" He ventured. Still no answer. "Edward?"

"Don't call here again."

Burt heard the long beep in his ear signaling the dropped call and pulled the phone away in disbelief.

"What the hell was that about?" Burt asked aloud to no one in particular. When he had finally spoken, Edward's voice was shaky. Instead of sounding angry, like his choice of words would seem to suggest, Burt thought he'd sounded scared, almost pleading with Burt not to contact him. He thought briefly about redialing the number, trying again, but then another thought occurred to him.

Edward Szabo was the same age as his own son, and he'd sounded more than a little frightened. What if something had happened to him too? Even if nothing had and Burt was reading way more into the short interaction than was actually there, if it was someone from the past calling Kurt and Kurt had that kind of reaction, would Burt want that man to keep calling his son? Knowing that the answer to that question was 'no', Burt put the phone back down on his desk with a heavy sigh.

He'd spent all morning and early afternoon mustering up the courage to dial the number he'd found online the night before after talking to Kurt. He knew that Edward was either a junior or senior in high school at this point, so he waited until school would presumably be out to make the call. Now he had a few hours before he had to be home himself, and the thought of going back out into the garage and getting underneath another car just made him sick.

Working on cars was his passion, but right now, if it didn't have something to do with trying to save his son, he didn't want to even think about it. He had a one-track mind and his one lead had just told him never to contact him again.


	13. Chapter 13

**PLEASE NOTE: I UPDATED THIS STORY A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO WHEN THE NOTIFICATIONS WERE DOWN, SO PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 12 BEFORE READING THIS CHAPTER.**

**Okay, now that I've said that, I hope you enjoy this one. It was a blast to write, which I think makes me slightly evil...**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 13<p>

It was Friday afternoon, several days since the incident at the Lima Bean and Blaine was starting to feel much better about everything that had happened. Kurt seemed to be doing well, at least it seemed that way from their nightly phone calls. He hadn't transitioned at all on Thursday and so far, so good today. Blaine's only wish was that Kurt would let him come see him tonight.

The night before, Blaine had eagerly jumped into weekend planning, taking for granted that Kurt would be on board for two and a half days of togetherness. Blaine figured they could go shopping on Saturday, maybe catch one of the last 'Movie on the Lawn' events of the summer at East Lima Park. They were showing "Up" this week and Blaine remembered how much Kurt had enjoyed it when they watched it in Blaine's dorm room last semester.

Before he could get too deep into planning, however, Kurt cut him off.

"Blaine, honey," he started, the regret already heavily lacing his words. "That all sounds wonderful, and there's really nothing I'd rather do more, but I promised Dr. Simmons and my dad that I would work on the assignments she gave me on Tuesday. I haven't been able to do much this week because of all the transitioning and sleeping, so I really feel like I need to buckle down these next few days. I'm so sorry."

"Oh," Blaine answered softly, sounding obviously crestfallen, which caused Kurt to wince a bit. "Well that's okay, Kurt, I understand. I'm going to miss you though. C-can I ask you one more thing though?"

"Yeah?" Kurt ventured warily with a sense of foreboding.

"Is that the only reason you don't want to go out with me this weekend?" Blaine asked carefully. He didn't want to upset Kurt, but he had a feeling there was more to Kurt wanting to be a homebody this weekend.

There was a long pause on Kurt's end of the phone before he finally answered.

"I guess that's not the only reason," Kurt finally explained. "I…I just…I guess I'm really afraid of transitioning in public again." Blaine's worry was confirmed.

"Kurt, it's okay—"

"No it's not, Blaine," Kurt said a little too forcefully. He took a deep breath and started again. "It's happened only a few times before and it's terrifying and embarrassing when I wake up. Like at the Lima Bean the other day…waking up to see everyone in the coffee shop staring at me, my dad sitting right where you had been a split second before. It's awful, you just….you don't understand how bad it is."

"You're right," Blaine answered after a quiet moment. "I'm sorry, and I didn't mean to trivialize what you go through, that wasn't my intention. I just miss you, that's all. Do you forgive me?"

Kurt's heart melted for a moment and then he felt guilty. He hadn't meant to snap at his boyfriend like that. After all, he was just about the only person in Kurt's life who voluntarily put up with him, knowing about his disorder.

"Of course I forgive you," Kurt said. He could hear a whoosh of air on the other end of the phone and could only assume that Blaine had been holding his breath, waiting for an answer. "But it's me that should be apologizing. I didn't mean to snap at you. In fact, that's one of the things that I need to start working on this weekend. I've been snapping at everyone lately and I've got to learn to keep my anger and frustration in check, otherwise I put myself at risk of transitioning more frequently….and I put myself at risk of developing a reputation as a bitch."

Blaine let out an involuntary snort and just like that, the small tension between the two had been broken. The rest of their conversation that night revolved around humdrum issues such as what assignments Kurt was doing for his homeschooling and what the latest, trivial debate amongst the Warbler's was. When they were getting ready to say goodnight, Blaine made Kurt promise that if he started to feel lonely or sad over the weekend, he would call Blaine.

"Because you know I'll come running," Blaine promised.

"I know," Kurt answered with a smile. "I love you."

"I love you too, Kurt, always. Goodnight."

Now, a day later, Blaine found himself alone in his dorm room, Justin already gone for the weekend, with nothing to do. He'd already gotten up to speed on the social goings-on by checking his Facebook and Twitter. Now he was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, trying to decide if he could muster enough motivation to trek down to the dining hall by himself. He hadn't been pondering the idea too long when there was an unexpected knock on his door.

Curious, Blaine popped off the bed and headed to the door, throwing it wide.

"Jeff!" Blaine greeted the fellow Warbler with a huge grin. Of course, why hadn't he thought about seeing what his friends were up to tonight? "What's going on?" Blaine's smile wavered a bit when he saw the serious and somewhat nervous look on Jeff's face. He worried that maybe something was wrong between he and Nick.

"Hey Blaine," Jeff answered, finally giving Blaine a small smile. "Can I come in? I kinda need to talk to you about something."

"Oh yeah, sure," Blaine said, a bit flustered. He stepped to the side, allowing Jeff to walk in and then motioned to the bed for Jeff to sit. Once he had, Blaine jumped up on the other side and sat cross-legged, facing his friend. "So…." Blaine trailed off, not really knowing what to say since Jeff hadn't given him any indication of what he wanted to talk about.

"I need to talk to you about Sebastian, and something that happened the other day after Warbler practice," Jeff explained. "Sebastian tricked Nick into going to the Lima Bean with him—"

"Wait, hold up," Blaine interrupted him with a good-natured smile. "You don't think that there's something going on between Nick and Sebastian, do you? Because I know that Nick would never—"

"No, Blaine," Jeff cut him off, sounding a bit exasperated. "Just listen to me, this isn't about Nick and me, it's about you and Kurt."

"Me and Kurt? What do you mean? What does a coffee trip between Sebastian and Nick have to do with us?"

"That's what I'm trying to get at, so just stop interrupting and let me talk, okay?" Jeff waited for Blaine to nod before continuing. "Nick said that pretty much the entire time they were there, Sebastian was asking him questions about Kurt, like when had he gone to Dalton, why did he leave, that sort of thing. But then he said something kind of strange, which is why I wanted to talk to you."

"Well," Blaine asked, starting to grow impatient. "What did he say?"

"He asked," Jeff took a moment to swallow. His mouth had grown dry and he was starting to feel nervous about confronting Blaine with this. "He asked about Kurt's disorder."

Blaine just stared at his friend. As far as he knew, Blaine was the only student at Dalton who knew anything about Kurt's condition. How did Sebastian know and why was Jeff talking like he knew too? Panicking slightly, Blaine decided the best course of action was to play dumb.

"Jeff, what are you talking about? What disorder?"

"I don't know." If Jeff had been paying closer attention, he would have seen the slight relief wash over Blaine's face at discovering that Jeff hadn't known that Kurt was suffering with something, rather, he was just repeating what Sebastian had said. That still left the mystery of how Sebastian knew about it though.

"I don't know what he was talking about," Jeff repeated. "But Nick and I both thought it was strange, and I wanted to warn you about it, because it seems to me, after having Nick tell me word-for-word about their conversation, that Sebastian is up to something. He's trying to spread rumors about Kurt and seeing the way he acts around you at Warbler practice, I would guess it's because he has a crush on you and wants to break you two up."

Blaine looked down at his hands for several seconds before returning his gaze to Jeff. "Thanks for the heads up, Jeff. I wasn't too sure about Sebastian's intentions before and I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but now…I guess I know what I'll be doing tonight, having a little chat with Sebastian Smythe."

"Just be careful," Jeff warned his friend. He knew that Blaine deserved to know the truth, but he was worried about Blaine confronting Sebastian. He was a sneaky guy, and while Jeff had figured out a long time ago that there was something off about Kurt, there was no way that Sebastian would have been able to figure that out after meeting him just one time. He was digging for information somewhere and in Jeff's opinion, if Kurt wanted people to know about his personal issues, he would tell them.

Even though Jeff knew Kurt was struggling with something, he would never dare go searching for whatever it was. It was none of his business. It was no one's business but Kurt's. Well, Kurt's and Blaine's. Jeff could tell by the way Blaine had reacted to what he said that he knew exactly what Sebastian had been getting at, which made it clear to Jeff that he and Kurt had the kind of relationship where Kurt had opened up to Blaine and allowed him to know him fully. If Sebastian was trying to ruin that, Jeff was going to do everything in his power to make sure that didn't happen, because that's what friends are for, damn it.

"I will," Blaine answered. "Thanks for telling me. You're a good friend, Jeff."

"You're welcome, but please don't do anything stupid," Jeff pleaded, standing up from the bed and heading over to the door. "I just thought you deserved to know."

"I promise I won't do anything stupid," Blaine said with all the sincerity of a boy scout reciting the scout's honor.

"I'll talk to you later," Jeff said as he walked out of the dorm and down the hallway. Blaine didn't bother to close the door after him. Instead he laced up his shoes, looked up Sebastian's dorm room assignment on his computer and headed out the door himself to have a little chat with the newest Warbler.

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, Blaine found himself pounding a little too forcefully on the door to Sebastian's dorm room. After several minutes of angry knocking, the door finally swung open and Sebastian appeared. He looked surprised for a brief moment before rearranging his face into his trademark flirty smile.<p>

"Why hello, Blaine," he said, opening the door wider and motioning for Blaine to come in. Blaine stalked in and turned to face Sebastian as he closed the door and turned back toward the shorter boy. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I heard about your little chat with Nick the other day," Blaine started angrily, leaving all pretense to the wayside. "And I heard what you said about Kurt."

"And what did I allegedly say about Kurt?" Sebastian asked lazily, which only infuriated Blaine more.

"You know damn well what you said. You asked him about Kurt's supposed disorder."

Sebastian laughed lightly. "Come on Blaine, let's not play games. We both know that there is nothing 'supposed' about Kurt."

"I don't know what you think you know about Kurt, but—"

"Dissociative Identity Disorder," Sebastian cut him off, relishing the wave of panic that washed over Blaine's face. "Also known as DID or more colloquially, Multiple Personalities Disorder. Kurt's got it. You know it, I know it, and unless you want the whole school to know it, you're going to listen very carefully to me. Have a seat, you look uncomfortable."

Blaine was in total shock and found his body plopping down in the desk chair that Sebastian motioned to while he himself slinked down on the edge of his bed.

"First, I want you to know that I'm not a bad guy," Sebastian explained through a wide grin. Blaine had never hated someone so much in his entire life. "I'm just a very motivated person and when I see something I want, I'm going to do everything I can to get it, you know?" Sebastian didn't wait for a response from Blaine before he continued.

"One of the things I was looking forward to when I joined Dalton was being a Warbler. No school that I've ever attended, and I've attended quite a few, has had a glee club on par with what Dalton has to offer. The only problem is, it's impossible to get a solo with you around. You should take that as a compliment from me, you have a beautiful voice. But so do I, and I want a chance to use it. Therefore, I want you to stop accepting solos. Say you want to give your voice a break, or you want to give other Warblers the chance to shine, or whatever other crap you want to make up. But in addition to backing off the solos, I want you to use your influence on the council to promote me. I want at least one solo per performance or I'm going public with Kurt's crazy.

"Second, I may be really smart, but I'll be the first to admit that I'm pretty lazy. You and I have a lot of classes together and I get the feeling that you're pretty nerdy. In a totally hot way, I mean. I think it would be mutually beneficial if you started to take on my homework in addition to yours, don't you think?"

By this point, Blaine was barely able to contain the rage within him. He could feel it bubbling near the surface, but he felt completely unable to express it because at the same time he was frightened about what Sebastian might do with the information he'd mysteriously obtained about Kurt.

"How would that benefit me?" Blaine finally asked through gritted teeth.

"Well, unless you want everyone to know that you're dating a psycho—"

"Don't you dare call him that!" Blaine's anger finally bubbled over and in a flash he was standing over Sebastian who still had that stupid, bored yet slightly amused look on his face.

"Whoa, whoa, cowboy," Sebastian said, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. "It looks like you've been taking lessons from….Conrad, is it? Sit back down, there's one more thing."

Reluctantly, Blaine backed up and sat back in the chair, never once shaking eye contact with Sebastian.

"I think you and I should start seeing each other," Sebastian's eyes twinkled at the look that washed over Blaine's face. "It doesn't have to mean anything, I just want to give the appearance to the rest of the Warblers that you and I are becoming close friends and maybe something more."

"Why?" Blaine could feel the heat in his face now and the way his anger caused his voice to quiver. "What could you possibly have to gain by doing that?"

"I have my reasons," Sebastian answered simply. "Now, do we understand each other? Play nice and Kurt's little secret is safe. Go against me and don't imagine for a moment that I won't make good on my promise."

Blaine hated himself for the tears that burned in his eyes. He didn't want to let Sebastian know that he'd gotten to him, but it was a little too late for that.

"Can I go now?" He asked, voice still shaky.

"Of course, Blaine," Sebastian smiled, standing up to open the door for him. "Maybe we can talk more tomorrow over coffee?"

Blaine didn't answer as he stalked out of the room and thought he heard a snicker coming from the open doorway as he made his way down the hall.

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><p><strong>I really, really, really want to know what you all thought about this one. Comments and suggestions are always welcome :)<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's note: Holy crap, I can't believe the response I got from the last chapter. You guys are awesome and I'm glad you liked it! This chapter is not as exciting as the last, but it's an important chapter in setting up for some stuff to come in the future. Let me know what you think!**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 14<p>

Kurt spent all of Friday night and most of Saturday morning working on his assignments from Dr. Simmons. He'd spent a good chunk of time going through the items in his bottom dresser drawer, which is where he kept old diaries and photo albums. As he went through everything, he made different video diary entries to discuss how he was feeling.

Kurt was feeling pretty proud of himself for the fact that he was able to work on all of this and still keep all of his food down, not to mention the fact that he still hadn't transitioned since Wednesday. Of course, he was having to take very frequent breaks and so far, he didn't feel like he'd hit on anything significant during his search, but at least he was making the effort like he'd promised.

Per his father's request, he kept his bedroom door open. He wasn't in the habit of locking his bedroom door anyway, but he understood his father's worry. Even if Kurt wasn't motivated to muck through his past for himself, when he saw the look in his father's eyes, the tired lines on his forehead and the way his head hung these days, he knew he would do whatever it took to make sure his father didn't have to suffer anymore.

Just as Kurt was coming to the end of a photo album from the summer he turned three, he heard a knock at the door. Looking up, he smiled at his dad standing in the doorway.

"How's it going in here kiddo?" He asked, wringing his hands a bit.

"It's going fine," Kurt answered honestly. At first, his heart pounded every time he opened an album, but his mother had been quite the shutterbug so by the time he reached the photo chronicles of his third year, the feelings of anxiety had definitely dwindled. "I still don't really know what I'm looking for, but I'm hoping I'll know when I find it."

"Well don't push yourself too hard, okay?" Burt said, coming into the doorway to stand closer to where his son sat on his bed. "I mean, I think it's great that you're doing this, but don't push yourself past the point of no return."

"I know," Kurt answered patiently. "I mean, I won't Dad. I've been using my breathing techniques and taking a lot of breaks."

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"Let's see," Kurt started, lifting his hands in front of him to tick of the items he'd eaten. "I had a bagel when I woke up, an apple, a cup of yogurt and peanut butter crackers. Not to mention the fact that it's only ten thirty in the morning."

"Well, I wish you'd eat something of substance, but at least you're eating." Kurt rolled his eyes good-naturedly at this. "And everything is staying down?"

"Yes father," Kurt replied. "If I promise to eat a dozen wings and a rack of lamb at lunch time will that make you feel better?"

"It would make me feel better if that's what you were actually going to eat, but I'd settle for a burger."

"A burger?" Kurt winced. "How about a turkey sandwich?"

"Throw in some potato chips and we've got a deal."

"Fine," Kurt sighed. He knew his dad was just trying to look out for him, but he felt like all he was doing since last night was stuffing his face. He had to acknowledge to himself several times that he'd been practically fasting for at least four days prior, so his body had to play a bit of catch up. "Hey, why do you have your coveralls on? I thought Josh was working today."

"Oh uh, yeah," Burt looked down at his work garb as if he forgot what he was wearing. "Josh just called. Said he had some kind of family emergency, so I'm headed in. But listen, if something comes up just call me on my cell phone okay? And Carole's here, so you know, she can help you too."

Kurt gave his father a skeptical look. Something was going on with him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. "Yeah, of course. Well, I guess I'll see you tonight then?"

"Yeah, I'll be home by five, alright?"

"Okay, see you later Dad." Kurt watched his father back awkwardly out of the room and listen to his footsteps shuffle down the stairs. Shaking his head, he returned his attention to the photo album, scrutinizing each individual picture, looking for anything that might be a trigger.

* * *

><p>Burt had woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of his phone buzzing on the bedside table. Squinting in the darkness and cursing whoever was trying to contact him at three in the morning, he checked his phone just on the off chance that it was an emergency. When his brain cleared enough to make sense of what was on the screen, Burt jolted upright and was immediately wide awake.<p>

_Message from: Edward Szabo_

_Mr. Hummel, if u still want 2 talk, meet me 2morrow at Maggie's at 1pm._

Burt silently cursed his clumsy fingers and lack of experience in sending text messages as he spent the next ten minutes crafting a reply.

_I will see you then. Thanks._

Placing the phone back on the bedside table, Burt tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. He was awake for the day, his mind racing a million miles a minute as he thought through all the things he wanted to ask and wondering about why Edward had changed his mind about speaking to him. Easing himself out of bed as carefully and quietly as possible to keep from waking Carole, Burt stumbled out of the bedroom and headed to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. If he was going to be awake anyway, he might as well start thinking about what he was going to do when he met with Edward in less than twelve hours.

* * *

><p>Now, Burt was shuffling back down the stairs from Kurt's room, shaking his head at what a horrible liar he was. <em>Kurt saw right through that, <em>he thought to himself, _but hopefully he's too preoccupied by his assignment to think too much into it._

He'd told Carole about the new development when she came downstairs a few hours after the text message, surprised that he was already awake and dressed. She promised to keep it a secret from Kurt until they had some answers from Burt's meeting with Edward. They both decided there was no use getting him riled up and setting him up for a potential transition if the meeting turned out to be a wash.

"Just keep your eye on him," Burt instructed her quietly as he was slipping out the door. "You know, check on him every now and then. He promised me he'd eat a turkey sandwich and potato chips for lunch, so just make sure tha—"

"Burt," Carole interrupted him, placing her hand on his shoulder. "I think I can handle it. I've been a parent just as long as you have. Three months longer, actually."

"I know, I'm sorry," he answered, letting out a deep sigh. "It's just, Kurt…."

"I love him too," Carole spoke softly with a smile. "And I worry about him just as much as you do, so don't think for a minute that I'm not going to do everything in my power to help him through this."

"I love you so much," Burt replied, tears threatening to cloud his vision.

"I love you too," Carole answered, drawing him in for a hug. "Please come back with something. Anything."

"I'm going to do my damnedest," Burt said, pulling away and steeling himself as he opened the door and stepped outside. He may have looked confident on the outside, but inside he was trembling like a child.

* * *

><p>Blaine found himself sitting across from Sebastian at the Lima Bean. It was Saturday, around noon, and Sebastian had made good on his threat to make him go get coffee. The whole time they were sitting there, Sebastian was going on and on about what it was like living in Paris. Blaine wasn't paying attention to the words Sebastian was speaking. Instead, he was focusing on how much he hated Sebastian's stupid smirk and elitist attitude.<p>

At some point, after Sebastian had talked for at least ten minutes straight about his favorite little café in Paris, he leaned across the table close to Blaine and beckoned him to move closer. Blaine reluctantly obliged.

"I don't care if you hate me right now," Sebastian whispered in his ear. "I think, once you see the light, that you will have a change of heart. But for right this moment, you better start acting like you're having the time of your fucking life because Nick and Jeff are headed in from the parking lot and if they suspect for one second that this is not a mutually agreeable coffee date, you are going to regret it."

Blaine leaned back in his chair, not bothering to turn around to look for his friends. He knew they'd eventually find him. Until they made their way over to the table though, Blaine had to use every ounce of energy to rearrange his facial features so as to appear to be having the time of his life with the first person he could every truthfully say that he hated.

"Blaine…and Sebastian?" Blaine shut his eyes briefly as he heard Jeff's voice coming from behind him. Drawing on years of experience hiding his true emotions, he turned around with a bright smile to greet his friends.

"Hey guys!" he greeted. "What are you two up to?"

"Oh you know," Nick piped in. "Just wanted to get off campus for a while."

"But enough about us," Jeff said pointedly looking at Blaine. "What about you guys?"

"Blaine here called me up out of the blue and asked me out to a light lunch," Sebastian said, still wearing that stupid grin. "And when the cutest guy in all of Ohio asks you out on a date, you don't say no."

"It's not a date," Blaine said through gritted teeth. Sebastian shot a warning look at Blaine. "I just thought I should get to know Sebastian better, if we're going to be singing together."

"That's not what you said on the phone earlier, Blaine," Sebastian teased. "But we can play that game I suppose."

Jeff gave Blaine a funny look that Blaine interpreted as both confused and angry.

"Well boys, I would invite you to join us, but Blaine and I were just leaving. It's such a nice day out, I think I've convinced Blaine to go for a walk around the lake at Westerville Park."

"Sure," Jeff answered, still not taking his gaze off of Blaine. Blaine tried to subtly communicate with Jeff that they'd talk later, but he wasn't sure the message was received. "Well, we'll let you go then. Come on, Nick."

"Bye guys," Nick smiled nervously, sensing that all was not right with the situation. Blaine watched helplessly as the two boys headed across the coffee shop to the registers.

"You're coming awfully close to ruining this whole deal we have going on," Sebastian warned. "I suggest that next time you act a little less like you want to rip my face off."

"Maybe if you weren't trying to ruin my life I wouldn't hate you so much," Blaine answered angrily, keeping his voice low.

"Blaine, sweetie," Sebastian answered patronizingly. "Can't you see I'm trying to save your life? What kind of future do you think you have with that freak? If he doesn't go off the deep end completely, he's going to either be so drugged up he can't function or he's going to be so depressed he'll kill himself. And where does that leave you?"

Blaine was too angry to form words. Instead, he got up from the table and began heading to the door, Sebastian close on his heels.

* * *

><p><strong>Some stuff is definitely brewing with Jeff and Blaine and in the next chapter we'll also see what happens at Burt's meeting with Edward. Thanks so much for reading!<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note: This is the chapter where we find out a bit more about Kurt's past. As a warning, there are some fairly vague allusions to abuse. Nothing remotely explicit, but I want to make sure that I include a warning in case this is a trigger for anyone.**

**Also, in addition to my continuing non-ownership of Glee and United States of Tara, I further want to make it clear that all characters in this chapter are purely fictional. Any resemblance to any real life person is purely unintentional and accidental.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 15<p>

Blaine was barely out of the coffee shop before his phone started buzzing. Sliding it out of his pocket, he winced slightly as Jeff's name appeared above the new text message animation.

_We need to talk. Tonight. Don't blow me off._

Turning back toward the shop, he saw Jeff standing at the counter with Nick, who was giving his order to the barista. Blaine saw the seriousness in Jeff's eyes and gave him the slightest nod of agreement, hoping that Sebastian hadn't caught the exchange. Thankfully, Sebastian was too busy playing with his own phone to notice.

"Sorry Blaine," he announced after several moments of silence while the two of them stood outside his car. "Just updating my Facebook status. I want the world to know what a great day I'm having with you."

"Please don't do that," Blaine pleaded, panicking slightly at the possible fallout of any number of people seeing that status update. "Please Sebastian, if Kurt sees—"

"Blaine, Blaine, Blaine," Sebastian chuckled shaking his head. He walked over and opened the passenger side door before placing his hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Don't you get it? The status update is _for_ him. Trust me, the sooner you get out of this toxic relationship, the better off you'll be. Get in the car."

"No!" Blaine shouted angrily, pushing Sebastian back away from him. "I'm not playing this stupid game anymore. I don't care if you tell everyone at Dalton about Kurt. I love him and I'm not going to lose him for you!"

"Blaine, you're making a scene," Sebastian said through a tight smile. "Fine. Let's talk about it. Get in the car and we'll do this like civil adults."

The only reason Blaine agreed to get in the car was because of the other people standing around in the parking lot. When he shouted and pushed Sebastian, several of them turned around and began watching. One lady even pulled out a cell phone and looked like she was either going to record the whole thing or call the cops.

Once they were both buckled in and driving away from the coffee shop, Sebastian began to speak.

"I get that you don't care that your boyfriend is psychotic," Sebastian started, earning himself a death glare from Blaine. "But did you ever stop to think that maybe _he_ doesn't want people to know? I mean, he did transfer schools twice before giving up on social interaction altogether. I'm just worried that if everyone knew about him it might destroy him."

The fake sympathy and concern that dripped from Sebastian's words made bile rise up in Blaine's throat.

"Don't you dare act like you care about Kurt's well-being," he said as calmly as he could muster. "If you cared at all about him you wouldn't be doing this."

"On the contrary, Blaine," Sebastian retorted. "I care about Kurt more than you think. He has to know that what the two of you have going on can't last. I mean look at you, and then look at him. Why are you with him anyway? Was he like, the only other gay kid in all of Western Ohio?"

"Stop the car," Blaine answered. "Stop the car now."

"Blaine—"

Blaine grabbed the emergency brake.

"Stop the car or I'll do it."

Seeing the angry look in his eyes, Sebastian reluctantly pulled the car over. Blaine unbuckled himself and got out of the car, slamming the door. They were about four miles from campus, not a terribly long distance, but there was no way that Blaine was going to spend one more second in that car with Sebastian.

Sebastian drove slowly beside Blaine for a few moments before rolling the passenger side window down.

"Okay, you're right," Sebastian shouted to him. "That was really out of line. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Can we try again?"

"I'm done talking," Blaine answered. "I'm not going to do this anymore."

"Fine," Sebastian said. "But don't think for a moment that I won't hold up my end of the deal. In fact, let me pull over here and get online—"

"No," Blaine suddenly remembered that despite the fact that he didn't care about Kurt's illness, it wasn't his decision to let the whole world know about it. He would figure out how to get around the whole Sebastian thing, but he needed to buy some time first in order to come up with something.

"No what, Blaine?" Sebastian said with a smile. He knew he had the other boy back in his grips.

"Don't do that, I'll….fine, I'll do whatever," Blaine answered, moving back toward the car despite the fact that his body was physically revolting against the action. For a moment before he opened the door and sat back down, he felt like he was going to throw up.

"That's good, Blaine," Sebastian said smoothly. "Now, I believe we were headed to the park before you got your panties in a wad?"

Blaine answered by way of one solitary, defeated nod of the head. He was so engrossed in his plans to stop this nightmare that he didn't feel his phone vibrating again and again in his pocket.

* * *

><p>Burt sat impatiently at a booth at Maggie's, Lima's only non-chain twenty four hour breakfast restaurant. It was a quarter past one and there was no sign of Edward Szabo. Fearing that he'd been stood up, he pulled out his phone and checked it for what felt like the millionth time. Nothing. Just as he was putting it away though, a familiar looking stranger walked through the entrance.<p>

It was definitely Edward. He was, of course, older and taller, but he had the same round face, the same blond hair, although it was a touch darker now. Realizing that Edward probably wouldn't recognize him after all these years, Burt stood up and waved at him until his eyes connected with the boy's. Edward tilted his chin in recognition before making his way over to the booth.

"Mr. Hummel?" he asked tentatively as he approached.

"Yeah, Edward," Burt answered, motioning to the bench seat opposite himself. "Have a seat, son. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me."

"It's no problem," Edward said. Burt wasn't the greatest at reading people, but the uneasiness radiating from the boys was palpable. "I wanted to apologize for how I acted the other day when you called. I just….you caught me off guard, that's all."

"It's okay," Burt nodded. "I understand, you probably hadn't thought about Kurt for a long time."

"Actually, I think about him all the time," Edward answered in a near whisper, hanging his head slightly and averting his gaze from the man sitting across from him.

Burt didn't know how to respond to that. He didn't really know what he wanted to ask Edward now that the boy was sitting right in front of him. Of course he had so many questions, but where did he start? Should he tell Edward about Kurt and what he's like now, or should he just ask about what happened to their friendship all those years ago?

"Edward, I wanted to speak to you about Kurt and what happened to your friendship," Burt started. He decided to just dive into it. "You two were inseparable for years and then it was like you disappeared. Kurt stopped talking about you and didn't beg me to take him over for play dates anymore—"

"Mr. Hummel," Edward cut him off. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but why does it matter now? Why did you track me down to ask me about a friendship I had with your son in preschool?"

So this was it, Edward was going to determine the path of the conversation, and Burt owed him at least the truth of why he interrupted his life.

"Edward, Kurt is…Kurt has some problems," Burt explained, not really knowing the best way to describe what was going on with his son. "Emotional problems. They're pretty severe and he's been dealing with them for a long time, but they have gotten a lot worse in the last couple of months. His doctor seems to think that these problems may stem from an incident in his childhood. I called you up because you two were so close and you disappeared around the time that Kurt began to change. I guess I just thought you may have some insight into what may have happened to my son."

Edward stared at Burt for an uncomfortably long time, not speaking. Burt wasn't sure how to respond. He tried to hold the boy's gaze, but the mixture of emotions that played on Edward's face made it difficult for Burt not to pull away. Finally, Edward began to speak.

"When I was five, my uncle came to stay with us for a while. He'd been kicked out of the house by my grandparents and my dad told him he could stay in the guest bedroom until he found some work. He was a lot younger than my dad, probably like seventeen or eighteen at the time. He didn't really pay much attention to me, even though I tried to get him to play with me. I thought he was real cool, you know? I'm sorry, do you think I could get something to drink? My throat is really dry."

"Yeah, of course," Burt put his hand up in the air, motioning for the waitress to come over. His heart was pounding so hard, he was afraid it was going to burst out of his chest. He didn't like where this story was heading, but at the same time he was desperate for Edward to continue.

Five minutes of silence passed before the waitress finally came back with Edward's soda. He took a few shaky sips before steeling himself to continue.

"Okay where was I? Yeah, Uncle Mark. Anyway, he ignored me most of the time, except for when Kurt came over to play. Whenever Kurt was over, Mark would come out of his bedroom and sit on the floor with us, playing whatever game we were playing. Kurt was like me, he seemed to look up to Mark and always asked where Mark was when he came over. I guess I was probably pretty jealous. I mean, Kurt was supposed to be _my_ best friend and Mark was _my_ uncle, but we would only be playing for a little while when Mark would suggest that we play hide and go seek. He would always make me be 'It' first and then I could never find Kurt or him after that, sometimes for hours."

Edward cast a worried gaze at Burt, trying to see if he should continue.

"It's okay, Edward," Burt said, as if reading his mind. "Keep going."

"It was like that for a long time. I mean, Kurt came over just about every day. Sometimes I'd ask if we could play over at his house, but he said he wanted to play with Mark too and Mark told him that he would get in trouble if he tried to invite him over to play at his house. It wasn't too long after the hide and seek thing started happening that Kurt began acting different. He would still come over to play, but he didn't laugh anymore, and when Mark would come out of the bedroom, Kurt seemed scared or something. He would still disappear with him, but he didn't seem to like being around Mark anymore. And then one day, Kurt just stopped coming over. I knew his mom was sick, so I thought that maybe he just couldn't play anymore because of everything going on at home. It wasn't until I was older that…that pieces started falling into place."

Silence. Edward could see a slight tremor in the frame of the elder Hummel.

"Mr. Hummel? Are you…do you…are you okay?" Edward felt stupid for asking that. Of course he wasn't okay. Edward didn't know exactly what happened between Mark and Kurt, but now that he was older, he assumed what Mr. Hummel was probably assuming right this minute. And finding out that Kurt had some sort of emotional disturbance only confirmed the fear that had been growing within him for several years now every time he thought about his first best friend.

"Edward," Burt's voice came out shaky and Edward prayed to God that the man didn't start crying in the restaurant because he had no idea how to comfort a man more than twice his age. Thankfully, Burt took a few deep breaths and seemed to regain composure. "Where is Mark now?"

Burt was hoping that the son of a bitch still lived with Edward's family because it would make murdering him a lot more convenient.

"I-I don't know," Edward stuttered. "He disappeared shortly after Kurt stopped coming over and no one has heard from him since. It's been over ten years since I saw him last."

"Szabo?" Burt asked. "Is his last name Szabo too?"

"Yeah, Mark Dewitt Szabo" Edward gulped, starting to feel incredibly nervous. "Mr. Hummel, please….will you do me a favor and keep my name out of this? I wanted to meet with you and tell you what I knew, but I don't want any fallout from my family over this. I-I've never told my parents what I think happened, and I'm afraid—"

"Don't worry, Edward," Burt cut him off. "You have no idea how much I appreciate you having the courage to come meet with me. I won't bring your name up to anyone, but you do understand that I'm going to have to follow up on this, right? For Kurt?"

"I know," Edward conceded. "I just hope it helps somehow. And Mr. Hummel?"

"Yeah, kid?"

"If, in the future, you feel like it's okay or it might help, will you tell Kurt that you bumped into me? That I asked about him and that I still consider him one of my best friends?"

Burt's heart nearly broke for the fourth time in the past hour. This poor kid sitting in front of him had spent years feeling guilty, mulling over what happened at his house to his best friend. Burt wished he could take that away for him.

"Absolutely," Burt affirmed. He was getting ready to end the conversation when a wave on fear washed over him as something he hadn't thought about yet came to mind.

"Edward, I have to ask you one more thing and you absolutely have to tell me the truth."

"Okay," Edward answered nervously.

"Did Mark ever, _ever_ do anything to you? Even once?"

Edward exhaled shakily, but when he spoke, his voice was clear and Burt believed him.

"Never."

* * *

><p>By the time Blaine finally was released from Sebastian's company, the sun was already making its slow decent in the western sky. Sitting down on his bed, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. It was only then that he realized that he hadn't bothered to check it all day since leaving the Lima Bean. Scrolling through, he looked at the damage.<p>

Four missed calls, one from Jeff, the other three from Kurt. No new voicemails. One new text message from Jeff.

_I'll be at your dorm at 6pm. We need to talk and I need answers._

Blaine looked at the time on the phone. It was five thirty. He wasn't planning on going anywhere for the rest of the night, so he figured he better call Kurt back before Jeff was pounding at the door.

He called twice, the second time he left a voicemail, apologizing several times and asking him to please call when he got the message. With some time left to kill before his chat with Jeff, he decided to hop online and check out what Sebastian had written on Facebook earlier in the day.

_Sebastian Smythe: Lunch date with the one and only Blaine Anderson. Who's the luckiest guy in all of North America? ;) _

Blaine winced, but it wasn't as bad as he was expecting. Maybe Kurt wouldn't see it. Who was he kidding though? Sebastian had tagged him in the post, so even if Kurt didn't stalk Sebastian's page, the update would still show up on Blaine's profile. But maybe with Kurt working on his assignments all day, he'd neglected to log on. Maybe Blaine could catch him before he saw it. Either way, Blaine knew he had to tell Kurt what was going on with Sebastian. He may have to put up with his antics for a while, but he wanted Kurt to know that Sebastian meant absolutely nothing to him.

As he was mulling over his options on how to approach the topic with Kurt, Blaine heard the familiar knocking on his door.

"It's open!" Blaine shouted and seconds later, Jeff was storming in. Blaine half expected Nick to be trailing in behind him, but it appeared as though Jeff was alone.

"Okay, you're going to explain to me what the fuck is going on with you, and depending on what you say, I may or may not call Kurt and tell him what an asshole you are."

"Jeff, calm down—"

"No Blaine! I won't calm down! Do you have any idea what you're doing? What you're risking to lose by hanging out with…excuse me, with _dating_ that thing? How dare you do that to Kurt?"

By this point, Jeff, who was usually so mild mannered, was hovering menacingly over Blaine, screaming at him. Blaine actually thought for a few moments that Jeff was going to hit him.

"Jeff will you please sit down? I promise I'll explain everything, but you have to promise not to tell anyone, especially not Kurt. It's my responsibility to tell him what's going on with Sebastian and me." Blaine was leaning back awkwardly in a half-sitting, half-laying position with Jeff still over him. Finally, Jeff stood back up straight and sat down next to Blaine on the bed, arms crossed tightly.

"I'm listening."

* * *

><p>Burt stumbled back out to his truck, a pain shooting sharply through his chest. He felt like he'd been shot. It took everything within him to hold it together in front of Edward. He'd promised the boy that if he found out about Mark's whereabouts he'd contact Edward and Burt made him promise the same. They awkwardly shook hands at the end of the conversation, and he waited until Edward was in his car and headed down the road before paying the check and heading out to the parking lot himself.<p>

Now he was sitting in the driver's seat, fighting the urge to punch his fist into the windshield with every ounce of restraint in his body. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there when the familiar jingle of his cellphone ring tone jolted him out of his thoughts. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he saw that it was Carole calling.

"Hello?" He answered, not quite ready to hear his wife's cheerful voice on the other end. Only, when she answered, it was far from cheerful.

"Burt, honey, I need you to come home right away," she spoke urgently, sounding slightly out of breath.

"What's wrong, is it Kurt?" Burt already knew the answer to that. Of course it was Kurt, hadn't he been trying so hard to work on his assignments the last few days? Something must have come up.

"Yes," Carole answered frantically. From the muffled noises in the background, it sounded like she was rummaging through something, or moving quickly through the house. "He's gone. I came upstairs to check on him after he ate lunch and his room was destroyed. It's awful, he tore everything off the walls and there's paint or markers or something scribbled all in the carpet."

"Did you check for Teddy?" Burt asked automatically. Teddy was Kurt's favorite stuffed animal as a child. If Teddy was gone too, then Burt had a pretty good idea what happened.

"Shit, I didn't even think about that," Carole muttered. Obviously she was still in Kurt's room, because Burt could hear the telltale whine of Kurt's closet door being opened. "

"Teddy's gone too," she finally confirmed.

"It's Jamie," Burt answered, cursing to himself. Kurt had transitioned again and from the looks of it, Jamie threw a tantrum before running away. The good thing about Kurt's five year old alter was that, although he tended to 'run away from home' quite a bit, he usually stuck to the same few hiding places.

"Is Finn there?" Burt asked. When Carole said that he was, Burt explained the game plan. "Okay, you know that little creek behind Gordon Street a couple of blocks up? About a quarter of a mile south of the intersection of Gordon and Oak, there's a little cave-like area next to the creek. Send Finn over there and if Jamie is there, tell him to call me and just keep his eye on him."

Burt waited impatiently as he heard Carole tell Finn verbatim what Burt had instructed. Burt was already halfway down the road by the time Carole got back to the phone.

"Okay Carole, I want you to head over to the covered bridge by Johnson's Dairy, you know, the yellow one?"

"Got it," she answered. Burt could hear keys jingling in the background. "Where will you be?"

"I'm going to the cemetery," Burt answered, putting his blinker on. "Call me if you find him and I'll call you if he's where I'm going. I'm sure he's one of these places." Burt didn't want to think about what he would do if Jamie wasn't in one of his usual hiding places.

But five hours later, as the sun started to set, it became obvious that Burt was going to have to do something. Jamie was nowhere to be found and despite all the horrible days in Burt Hummel's life, this one was turning out to be one of the worst.


	16. Chapter 16

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 16<p>

"I think we better call 911. It's getting late and he's not anywhere we've tried looking."

Burt rubbed his hands wearily over his face as his wife spoke. He, Carole and Finn were all gathered in the living room after searching everywhere that Burt could possibly think to look with absolutely no sign of Kurt or Jamie. It was closing in on eight o'clock and every second that passed caused Burt's panic level to rise.

"They wouldn't do anything," Burt answered, caught at the crossroads of anger, frustration and helplessness. "He's eighteen now, they don't search for adults unless they have reason to believe he's in danger."

"Burt, honey," Carole responded gently. She didn't want to say anything to further upset him, but she was feeling pretty frantic herself. "Kurt has a mental health diagnosis, a pretty severe one that's not currently being medicated. I think the police would consider that a dangerous situation."

Burt contemplated this. He knew she was right and part of him was screaming to jump up and run to the phone to call the police. But the other part, the part that knew his son more than anyone else, knew that if he called the police and a news alert was issued about a mentally disturbed eighteen year old by the name of Kurt Hummel, when Kurt was eventually found, he may never forgive his father for it. He was still contemplating his choices, when Finn suddenly jumped up from the couch.

"Wait," he said excitedly. "Has anyone called Blaine? Maybe he knows something."

"Oh Finn, it didn't even cross my mind," Carole said, mentally berating herself. Of course Blaine might know something. Maybe he was with Kurt right now and didn't know to call. "Will you call him?"

"I'm on it," Finn answered, already moving quickly toward his bedroom to get his phone off the charger. He'd wasted the battery after being in near constant contact with his mom and Burt all day.

After Finn left the room, Burt and Carole continued to discuss what they should do. They went over everything that had happened earlier in the day, searching for any clues that might help them figure out what happened. Burt hadn't had the chance to talk about his conversation with Edward, that would have to wait.

"Did you see anything in his room that might shed some light on anything?" Burt asked. He hadn't gone upstairs yet. He knew he should, but he was too anxious to find Kurt to focus on anything else.

"I didn't do a whole lot of digging around, the place is a wreck," Carole answered. "There were some pictures on the ground, some pages torn out from his photo albums, but other than that, I didn't really get a good look."

"I wonder if he saw something in those photographs," Burt mumbled. He was ninety percent sure he already knew the answer to that, but he wouldn't be certain until he went up and investigated.

"Burt," Carole's voice jolted him out of his thoughts. "We need to make a decision about the police."

"I know," he conceded. "Let's wait to see what Blaine knows, if anything."

Another excruciating minute passed before Finn came shuffling back into the room, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Blaine has no idea," Finn said, avoiding both his parents' disappointed faces. "He said he hasn't talked to Kurt today, that he had several missed calls from him around lunch time, but when he tried to call him back, he didn't get any answer. No answers from his text messages either."

"That's it," Burt said, standing up. "I'm making the call."

But before he could reach his cell phone in his pocket, the shrill ring of the house phone radiated from its cradle on the side table. Burt's hand flew over to pick it up and answer before he could even process what was happening.

"Hello?"

"Yes, this is Burt Hummel." Carole and Finn exchanged worried glances, wishing they could hear the other end of the conversation.

"You do? Christ, is he okay?"

"Yes Officer, I'll be there in ten minutes."

Burt ended the call and tossed the phone back on the couch before picking up his car keys.

"He's at the police department. Apparently he was at the public library and refused to leave at closing so they took him into the station. From the sound of it, he's still Jamie and I've got a lot of explaining to do."

"Thank God he's okay," Carole said, breathing for the first time since the phone rang. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No," Burt shook his head. "Stay here and fix up the guest bedroom please. I don't want him going back into his bedroom until I have a chance to see what happened and get it cleaned up. Finn, call Blaine back and let him know Kurt is safe and I'll call him later tonight."

Both Carole and Finn nodded and set off to complete their tasks while Burt headed downtown to pick up his son.

* * *

><p>"Blaine, calm down! Just breathe and tell me what happened."<p>

Blaine could feel Jeff rubbing small circles on his back as he sat hunched over, unable to catch his breath.

"Finn, he said…he said…"

"Deep breath. There you go, now take one more. Okay, now who is Finn?"

"Kurt's brother," Blaine answered after following Jeff's instructions. He was starting to calm down a bit, working hard to get himself under control. He was no use to anyone if he couldn't stop freaking out. "He said that Kurt's been missing since early this afternoon and he wanted to know if I knew where he was."

"I'm sure he's fine," Jeff reassured, a little too quickly. Thankfully, Blaine's back was to him so that he couldn't see Jeff's facial expression. Jeff had seen the post from Sebastian on Facebook, and after talking to Blaine, the whole thing made a lot more sense, but if Kurt's disorder was really as bad as Blaine had just confided, Kurt going missing was definitely a bad thing. "What do you need me to do?"

"Grab that trashcan." Jeff barely had time to swoop the trash bin underneath Blaine's head before Blaine began retching violently. This was not good. Jeff knew something was up with Blaine, Kurt and Sebastian, but if someone had told him that this is how his day was going to end up, he would have laughed in their face. Jeff was still rubbing Blaine's back, trying to help him through the heaving when Blaine's phone began to ring again. Blaine tried to pull his head out of the can to get to it, but Jeff intercepted him.

"Hello?" he answered, listening to the voice on the other end. Blaine watched with a mixed look of horror and dread.

"No, this is his friend, Jeff. Is everything—"

"Oh, God. Okay, that's awesome news."

"Yeah, I'll tell him, thanks for calling back."

"Bye."

Blaine wanted to collapse over on the bed, knowing from Jeff's end of the conversation that Kurt must be okay, but he couldn't rest until he knew all the details, until he knew for certain that Kurt was safe and sound.

"Who was it? What did they say?" Blaine asked, wishing his friend would just spit it out already.

"It was Finn calling back. The police station just called and Kurt is there. His dad is going to pick him up now and Finn said to tell you that Mr. Hummel will call you later tonight."

"Is he okay? Is he hurt? What happened—"

"Blaine, calm down," Jeff said, plopping back down on the bed next to him. "You heard that phone call, it was thirty seconds tops. I think if there was anything else, Finn would have told me."

"Yeah," Blaine conceded. "I guess you're right. I just…I felt so helpless and…guilty. I should have answered my phone when he tried to call, I should have been up front and honest with him about what Sebastian was trying to do, I just wasn't really thinking everything through."

"It's going to be okay," Jeff said. "I know he may be mad that you told me everything, but at least you have me on your side. I'll help you talk to him if you want, or if you think it'll help."

"I don't know," Blaine answered honestly. "But thanks for being such a good friend. Do you still want to kill me?"

"No, I want to bathe you," Jeff retorted and then immediately blushed at how his words could be misinterpreted. "No, I didn't mean that like it sounded. I meant that I want you to go get cleaned up, because you reek."

"Sure," Blaine answered with as much playfulness as he could muster after the roller coaster of a day he'd just experienced.

"Seriously, you smell like throw-up," Jeff wrinkled his nose. "Go take a hot shower and in the meantime, I'm going to take your trashcan to the dumpster and throw it out."

"You're going to throw the whole thing away?"

"Well I'm sure as hell not cleaning it, are you? That's what I thought. We'll get you a new trash can tomorrow, now go, you seriously stink."

* * *

><p>After driving as fast as safely possible, Burt finally pulled into the parking lot in front of the Lima Law Enforcement Center. Since it was after hours, he had to wait to be buzzed in. When the door finally opened, he followed the instructions given to him over the intercom to take the elevator to the second floor and go through the first door on the right. Opening the door, he breathed a sigh of relief at seeing his son sitting in a plastic stackable chair, clutching Teddy tightly to his chest. Jamie, indeed.<p>

"Are you Mr. Hummel?" A tall, lanky officer approached him.

"Yes sir," Burt answered.

"Hi, I'm Officer Powell," the officer answered, putting out his hand to shake Burt's. "I've been here talking with your son and I have quite a few questions."

"I can imagine," Burt chuckled nervously.

"Right. Well, if you'll follow me back to my office, I'll try to make this quick so you can take him home. Sheila, will you keep an eye on Kurt—"

"Jamie! My name is Jamie. J-A-M-I-E!"

"Sorry, will you keep your eye on _Jamie_, while I talk to Mr. Hummel?" Burt tried to stifle an inappropriate grin. He knew it wasn't funny, and Kurt may be facing criminal charges for whatever happened at the library, but he was just so relieved that his son was safe, especially after everything he'd learned that day.

Fifteen minutes later, Burt and Officer Powell reemerged and shook hands.

"Thanks for understanding, Officer," Burt said. "He's a good kid, we're just fighting a tough battle right now."

"Well, now that I know the whole story, it makes a lot more sense," Officer Powell replied. "If you just fax me that paperwork from his doctor when you get home tonight, I'll dismiss the charges."

"Thanks officer, I'll do it as soon as I walk in the house. Jamie, buddy? You ready to go? Wait a minute, what is that all over your face?"

Jamie crossed his eyes and jutted his chin out, trying to get a closer look at his nose and mouth. There was something red smeared all over the corners of his mouth and up his cheek.

"He kept saying he was hungry," Sheila answered sheepishly. "So I gave him my lunch. Peanut butter and jelly."

"Ah," Burt said with a nod. "Jamie, go into the bathroom and wash your face, please." Burt instructed him in a firm, but gentle tone. Jamie hopped up holding on of Teddy's paws in his right hand and trudged to the bathroom.

"Thank you, you really didn't have to do that," Burt said pulling out his wallet. He found a ten dollar bill and handed it to the woman.

"Oh no, it was really no big deal—"

"Please take it," Burt interrupted, crumpling the bill in her hand. "It's going to be a long night on an empty stomach."

"Well thanks, Mr. Hummel, but really Jamie and I had a good time," Sheila responded, reluctantly taking the money. "He was telling me about the time he and Teddy dug a hole in the back yard and found a secret cave."

Burt shook his head as Jamie emerged from the bathroom, face slightly cleaner than before.

"You ready to go home kiddo?"

"Yeah, Teddy's tired," Jamie answered, slipping his free hand into Burt's. "And he wants a milkshake on the way home."

"We'll see," Burt answered good-naturedly. He waved to Sheila and Officer Powell as they made their way out of the station, down the elevator and out to the car. By the time Jamie was strapped into the passenger seat, he was fast asleep and the drive home from the station was much less frantic than the trip there.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so no big cliffhanger with this one, just wanted everyone to know that KurtJamie was safe and sound. The next chapter will explain more about what happened with Kurt's transition into Jamie and maybe we'll find out what Burt's next step is with the information he gathered from Edward. Reviews, comments and suggestions are always welcomed and appreciated. Thanks for reading!**


	17. Chapter 17

**My apologies for this one being so short, but wanted to get it posted so that I could work on what comes next. Feedback always appreciated!**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Kurt**

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><p>Chapter 17<p>

_BANG BANG BANG_

Sebastian looked lazily up from his computer screen at the sound of fists beating his door down. _Now who could this be_, he thought to himself. Thinking it was probably Blaine, come to argue some new offense, he put on his best smirk and sauntered over to the door. When he opened it, however, he was in no way prepared to be tackled by the blond-headed Warbler known as Jeff.

The two boys landed on the ground with a thud, their heads narrowly missing the corner of Sebastian's desk. Sebastian tried to force Jeff off of him, but he was stronger than appearances let on.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sebastian asked angrily, still struggling against him.

"Take it off," Jeff answered, a look of pure fury etched into his features.

"Take what off, you psycho?" Sebastian asked, able to hold Jeff far enough off of him to roll out from beneath. Both boys scrambled to their feet and circled each other, as if waiting for a bell to ring to signify the next round.

"Take that fucking status update off of Facebook," Jeff growled. "Or else."

"Or else? Who says that anymore?" Sebastian laughed at him. "Last time I checked, I have the right to post whatever I want, and let's face it, I didn't post anything untrue."

"You have no idea what you're messing with," Jeff answered. "You have no idea what kind of destruction you're causing and you don't even care."

"That's where you're wrong, Jeffy," Sebastian smiled. "I do care. I care very much. Granted, I don't care so much about Kurt, but I really think that Blaine is worth all the trouble. If Blaine knows what's good for him, he'll play along like a good boy. Otherwise…"

"Otherwise what, Sebastian? You'll tell everyone about Kurt's DID?" Jeff took a split second to relish the look of shock that registered on Sebastian's face before he regained his composure. "Somehow I think that by tomorrow, Kurt is going to know how you're blackmailing Blaine and he's going to rather the whole world know about it than have the love of his life being abused by you."

"You think so?" Sebastian asked cockily, his mind racing a mile a minute trying to figure out how to regain the upper hand in the conversation.

"Oh, I know so," Jeff answered. "And while Blaine is spending tomorrow with his boyfriend, I'll be spending the afternoon at Dean Parker's office explaining your little scheme to him. He knows Kurt and considers him one of the best students to pass through Dalton, so I'm sure he'd be happy to hear all about this."

Sebastian was silent.

"But why don't I cut a deal with you?" Jeff continued, his confidence growing in the knowledge that he had Sebastian right where he wanted him. "I'll hold off on telling the dean if you just remove that pesky little status update."

Sebastian looked away. He was pissed at himself for not being able to think through this one quickly enough.

"Do we have ourselves a deal?" Jeff asked after another few moments of silence. Sebastian glared at him before stalking over to his computer. Jeff followed him so he could make sure he was actually going to follow through. After it was erased, Jeff stood back and with a small smirk of his own, began walking toward the door.

"Good, Sebastian," he said patronizingly, before slowly shutting the door behind him. Sebastian waited until the sound of footsteps disappeared down the hallway. When there was nothing but silence, Sebastian let out a loud growl and punched the door as hard as he could. Wincing at the jolt of pain it sent up his arm, he let out a string of curse words, kicked over his desk chair and threw his body down on the bed.

He now had two missions. One, he needed to regain control over this situation with Blaine and Kurt, and two, he had to figure out how he was going to make Jeff's life a living hell for as long as took for his embarrassment to go away.

* * *

><p>For the first time in the past few weeks, Burt was almost glad that Kurt had become so thin, because it made it easier to carry him from the car up to the guest room. At the same time, the lightness of his body caused him even more concern than before. He slept the entire way back from the police station, giving Burt plenty of time to mull over his conversation with Officer Powell.<p>

The library staff had contacted the police after they repeatedly asked Jamie to leave the reading castle in the children's section. It was closing time, and although they'd felt it was a little odd to have a teenager clutching a teddy bear hiding out in the castle structure all day, there hadn't been any other kids up there from the time he arrived, so they let it slide.

When they couldn't get him to crawl out, however, they had no choice but to call 911. When the officers first arrived, they tried to talk to him to get him to remove himself. When that didn't work, they had to drag him out by his feet. Jamie kicked two of the officers, leaving bruises and screamed the entire time. When they were finally able to extract him, they forced him on his stomach and cuffed him from behind. Apparently, Jamie began crying and screaming for Teddy and it was then that the officers realized there was something seriously wrong with him.

Of course, their first assumption was that he was on drugs, but when they got him back to the station and talked to him for a while, they realized that it wasn't drugs, but that still left them with no explanation. It wasn't until Burt arrived that they knew the whole story, and Officer Powell expressed great relief that he decided against using his Taser on the boy when he was being combative at the library.

All in all, Kurt Hummel had been charged with two counts of obstruction of a peace officer and one count each of criminal trespass and criminal damage in the second degree. Burt had thanked Officer Powell profusely for his willingness to dismiss the charges upon confirmation of Kurt's psychological condition and on the way home, he'd phoned Carole to ask her to go ahead and fax the forms to the station. He knew once he got home, he had a long night ahead of him and he didn't want the task to fall by the way side.

After carrying his son upstairs and putting him to bed in the guest room, Burt made his way slowly back downstairs, wincing at the pain nagging in his lower back. He explained everything to Finn and Carole, and answered their questions the best he could. He knew a lot of answers were going to have to wait until Kurt was back, specifically dealing with what caused him to transition in the first place.

"I better go call Blaine before I forget," Burt sighed, remembering the promise he'd made about an hour ago.

"Don't bother," Finn answered quietly. "He's on his way."

"What do you mean? He's coming here?" Burt asked. It wasn't that he didn't like Blaine, or didn't want him around, it was just one more thing on his plate right now that he didn't want to deal with.

"Yeah, I couldn't talk him out of it," Finn answered sheepishly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"It's fine, Burt," Carole chimed in, putting her hand over his on the island in the kitchen. "I'll take care of Blaine. You do what you need to do and don't worry about the rest of us."

Burt contemplated this and let his shoulders sag slightly. It was so hard not to want to do everything when it came to Kurt, but he needed to start delegating a bit if he was going to make any progress.

"Thanks, honey," he answered, leaning over to give her a quick kiss. "I'll be up in Kurt's room, trying to figure out what the hell happened." Carole and Finn nodded as they watched him climb back up the stairs to the mess that awaited him.

* * *

><p>It was awful. The room was absolutely destroyed. There were holes in the walls, the bedding was torn and it looked like some pieces had been cut up with scissors. The worst mess was on the floor though. Several pictures littered the area, but mostly there were marker stains everywhere. There didn't appear to be any rhyme or reason to the markings, but in one corner of the wall, Jamie had drawn a picture of a house with two stick figures standing outside. One was tall with blond hair and the other was shorter with light brown. The tall figure wore a red shirt and a big smile, while the little one was frowning with wide eyes. Next to the drawing in childish handwriting, Burt saw something that almost made him throw up.<p>

_Hide an go sek_

Burt had to sit down on Kurt's bed to regain composure. If he wasn't sure that Mark Szabo was the one behind all of this before, he was positive now. Scanning the floor, Burt studied the photographs where they lay.

Most of them were unremarkable and untouched, aside from the fact that they were no longer in the photo albums, but one stuck out to Burt like a sore thumb. He stood up and slowly walked over to where it lay, slightly crumpled and leaned over to pick it up.

Through the angry red marker, Burt could make out the smiling faces of Kurt and Edward sitting on the edge of a pool in their swim trunks. A lazy, lanky arm was draped over the shoulders of each boy by a blond haired, smirking teenage boy who sat between them. Despite his increasing dread, Burt forced himself to flip the photograph over and read the caption.

_Kurt, Mark and Edward swimming in the Szabo's pool, August 18, 1998_

Burt wiped away an angry tear as he carefully pocketed the picture and began cleaning up his son's room as best he could.


	18. Chapter 18

**My apologies for another super short chapter, but I couldn't end my day with out a little bit o' Klaine. You understand.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Kurt**

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><p>Chapter 18<p>

It took Kurt a full thirty minutes to regain consciousness the morning after his transition into Jamie. At first, he was confused as to how he went from looking at photo albums in his bedroom to lying in the guest room bed clutching onto Teddy, but like so many other occasions, he quickly realized that something must have happened to make him transition.

With clumsy hands, he reached out for the digital alarm clock on the bedside table. It read nine a.m., meaning that he was missing nearly a whole day's worth of time. The last thing he remembered was heading back up to his room with the turkey sandwich and chips he'd promised his dad he would eat for lunch the day before.

With a heavy sigh, he finally swung his legs around, pivoting his body until his feet touched the floor. Sunlight was streaming through the blinds of the bay window in front of him and he was at least grateful for what promised to be a sunny day. He felt so cooped up in the house, he was looking forward to getting some fresh air at some point that day.

Padding softly down the hallway, not wanting to wake anyone up who may be sleeping in on this Sunday morning, he passed the closed door to his room. Reaching for the handle, he was surprised and confused to find the door locked, but remembering the unpredictable nature of his transitions, he trusted that there must be a legitimate reason for it.

Continuing downstairs, Kurt was confronted with his second surprise of the morning. Asleep on the couch, legs twisted up in a blanket from the hall closet, was a slumbering, lightly snoring Blaine. Kurt took a moment to watch him. He looked exhausted, his face scrunched in a slight grimace. Had he looked peaceful, Kurt would have let him sleep, despite his desire to spend time with him during this unexpected visit. But Blaine looked anything but peaceful, and when a small whimper escaped his lips, Kurt decided it was time to wake his sleeping beauty.

"Blaine," Kurt murmured as he softly shook his boyfriend's shoulder. "Wake up, sweetheart." Despite Kurt's soft touch and softer words, Blaine jolted upright and looked frantically around for a moment before his eyes landed on Kurt. He relaxed almost immediately.

"Kurt," he exhaled heavily before drawing another deep breath. "You're okay. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Kurt smiled nervously. "Are _you_ okay? What are you doing here?"

Blaine remained quiet for a moment and Kurt could almost see the gears turning in his head. "Maybe you should talk to your dad first."

"It's fine, I promise," Kurt reassured. "I've already used my super-human powers of deduction and logic to determine that I transitioned yesterday, presumably into Jamie if the teddy bear in my arms when I woke up this morning is any indication."

"Yeah," Blaine mumbled. "I missed all that. I didn't get here until your dad had already brought you home from the police station, so—"

"The _what_?" Kurt cut him off. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up a minute. Why was I at the police station?"

"Jamie wasn't exactly a little angel yesterday."

Both Kurt and Blaine snapped their heads toward the voice coming from the kitchen. Burt was leaning in the doorway, a steaming mug of coffee in one hand. He took a careful sip.

"Oh my God, do I even want to know?" Kurt groaned, putting his head down.

"Let's put it this way," Burt continued, pushing himself off the doorway and walking in closer to the boys sitting on the couch. "That was the first, only, and last time I ever expect to have to bail you out of police custody."

"Did I….was he…did I get arrested?" Kurt's eyes were wide as saucers, and if Burt wasn't so tired and so burdened with the knowledge he'd gained yesterday, he may have chuckled at Kurt's fear and innocence.

"Four charges," Burt said. "But after a long talk with the arresting officer and a little paperwork from Dr. Simmons, you're all cleared. Nothing to worry about."

"Wow…I…I don't even know what to say," Kurt shook his head.

"That's a first." Both Burt and Blaine spoke at the same time, earning glares from Kurt in turn.

"Why don't you kids have some breakfast while I get some work done upstairs," Burt instructed. Kurt immediately knew that the work to be done upstairs had to be in Kurt's bedroom. "But Kurt, later today we need to talk."

"Okay, Dad," Kurt agreed. "Thank you."

Burt nodded and headed up the stairs with his mug and looking even more worn out than Blaine. Kurt began to feel a familiar guilt rise within him, but worked hard to push it down. He didn't have time to wallow in guilt and self-pity. He needed to know what happened yesterday, and more specifically, he needed to know why Blaine was there now.

"Where were we?" Blaine asked, rubbing the last bit of sleep out of his eyes.

"You were going to tell me why you're here sleeping on my couch rather than at Dalton, sleeping in your bed."

"Right, well, Finn called me yesterday and said you were missing," Blaine started.

"Missing?"

"Yeah, I'll get to that, just be patient," Blaine reassured. "He wanted to know if I knew where you were or if I'd talked to you at all and I hadn't, so I began freaking out and decided to come over. I don't know if you remember, but you tried calling me a couple times yesterday afternoon."

"I don't remember," Kurt conceded. "But you said we didn't talk?"

"No," Blaine answered sounding somewhat guilty to Kurt. "I missed your calls, I was….I was tied up with something."

"Oh," Kurt answered quietly. Why did he have such a sense of foreboding? Something unnatural was emanating from Blaine, and although he couldn't quite put his finger on it, it made Kurt feel uncomfortable.

"Kurt, I need to ask you something," Blaine said. Kurt gave a small nod. "Did you…did you log on to Facebook at all yesterday?"

"Um," Kurt looked up toward the ceiling, trying to access his memories from the day before. "Let's see, I remember logging on first thing in the morning, but…I don't remember getting on at all after that, I was pretty wrapped up in my assignment. I guess if I did, I don't remember."

Inwardly, Blaine jumped for joy, but at the same time, he knew it was only a piece of the battle won. He silently sent a thank you to Jeff, who'd texted him as he pulled into the Hummel driveway the night before to tell him he'd persuaded Sebastian to remove the status update.

"Blaine what is going on? You're starting to scare me," Kurt had a slight tremble in his voice and his eyes were glassy. Blaine wished more than anything that he could hug and reassure his boyfriend, but he had a responsibility to come clean about Sebastian first. He needed Kurt to know exactly what had been happening the last few days so that it could be his decision as to whether or not he wanted to be comforted by Blaine.

"I have something to tell you."


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's note: Well I wasn't expecting to have this ready so quickly, but here it is. Any feedback is greatly appreciated as always.**

**Also, I wanted to make you all aware of something: I don't ever intend to get into the gritty details of the abuse Kurt experienced. The descriptions, if any, will be vague and I have several reasons for doing it this way. I would hope that this wouldn't cause anyone to lose interest in the story, but I wanted to clear that up before we went any further. Thanks for reading.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 19<p>

"So let me get this straight," Kurt finally began to speak after a full three minutes of silence once Blaine finished explaining the whole fiasco with Sebastian. Blaine was terrified of his boyfriend's reaction and when it took him so long to respond, Blaine thought his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. "My options are to either let Sebastian tell the entire world about my DID, or keep my personal business personal and let Sebastian have his way with you?"

The look of hurt on Kurt's face was almost too much for Blaine to stand. How in the world did he expect this to go? Did he think that he would explain everything to Kurt and Kurt would be okay with it? Better yet, that Kurt would be thankful to him for being so open and honest? What a fool he was, to think that Kurt would be able to feel anything other than hurt, confused and terrified.

"No," Blaine answered too quickly. His mind was racing, scrambling to try to find the right words to make this okay. "Look, I haven't quite figured out what I'm going to do but I'll make it okay, I pro—"

"Isn't it about figuring out what I need to do?" Kurt cut him off, anger beginning to well inside of him. "I mean, it's ultimately my decision in which way my life is going to be ruined, right?"

"Kurt—"

"No," Kurt interrupted again, standing up from the couch. "Don't say anything, just…I need some time to clear my head."

"Please," Blaine pleaded, standing up as well. "Can't we talk about this?"

"Trust me when I say I need some time alone right now." The determination in Kurt's eyes was enough to convince Blaine that he needed to back off and let Kurt feel some control over the situation. Blaine gave a small nod of concession and watched as Kurt headed for the front door.

"Wait," Blaine called after him. "Where are you going?"

Kurt froze, but kept his back to Blaine. Blaine watched his shoulders rise and fall heavily before Kurt turned and looked over his shoulder.

"I'm going for a walk, is that okay with you?"

The bite in Kurt's voice stung Blaine, but he pushed passed it.

"Don't you think it would be better if you stayed here?" Kurt glared at him. "I mean, after last night and all, I just…I wouldn't want anything to happen with you being out there. I can leave and come back later if you want."

"Forget it," Kurt said shortly. He pivoted on his heel and headed back in the other direction across the living room toward the back door. "I'll get some air in the back yard. It's fenced in, so you don't have to worry about me escaping."

The sarcasm that dripped from Kurt's words, combined with the slam of the patio door caused Blaine another jolt of pain. This was not going well. Unsure of what to do next, he circled back around to the front of the couch and sat down slowly, putting his head down in his arms on his lap. He had to start thinking fast, or else he was going to lose Kurt.

A small voice in the back of his mind was telling him that he should be angry right back at Kurt. After all, this was all Sebastian's doing, not his, and his only crime was being honest about it now with Kurt. Blaine disregarded the voice as soon as he recognized it though. Sure, to a certain extent, Kurt's anger might be misguided, but two simple facts remained. One, Blaine should have told Kurt what was going on from the very beginning. The fact that Kurt could have seen the Facebook drama and didn't was a miracle from God. Two, Kurt was terrified. He was feeling scared and completely out of control, and Blaine was the one who made him feel that way by telling him the situation with Sebastian.

Blaine let out an audible groan. He had no idea what to do.

"You okay, kid?" Blaine's posture stiffened as he heard Burt's voice behind him. "Where's Kurt?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Blaine lied, reworking his facial expression the best he could before standing up and turning around. "He's outside in the backyard, fresh air, I guess." Blaine felt slightly guilty for not telling the whole truth, but he really wasn't sure he could handle two angry Hummels at the same time.

"Okay, well, just keep your eye on him, alright? I gotta go to the hardware store, pick up some paint and a Rug Doctor. Just make sure that if he comes back in from outside before I get home that he doesn't go upstairs to his room. I've still got a lot to do in there."

"Yes sir," Blaine answered, bobbing his head up and down nervously, in an overly-enthusiastic nod.

"Oh, and will you try to make him eat something? Carrying him inside last night was like carrying a seven year old. He's just gotten so thin."

Blaine grimaced. He'd noticed it too, the way Kurt's collar bone jutted out and the gap in his designer jeans where his hip bones protruded away from his concave stomach.

"I will," Blaine promised sincerely. Burt nodded and headed out to the garage, leaving Blaine alone once again.

* * *

><p>Kurt heard the door slam behind him and cringed. He hadn't meant to be that forceful, but he was in serious distress. He made his way out to the gazebo in the middle of the lawn and lied down on the wood-slatted floor.<p>

The gazebo had been his mother's, and Kurt had fought hard to have it moved from the old house to the one they bought when his dad and Carole married. Kurt loved that gazebo as his mom had, sometimes spending days lounging in it, reading or drawing or just day dreaming. During warm summer nights, he camped out in it, even as a teenager. It was a small place of refuge for him and the place that gave him the most peace.

Kurt's mind was racing in a million different directions as he sorted through all the possible outcomes of what Blaine had told him was happening. None of them had happy endings. He briefly contemplated going to the police, claiming that Sebastian was blackmailing him, or rather, was blackmailing Blaine _with_ him. Would that stop him though? Kurt seriously doubted that what Sebastian was doing was a criminally punishable offense and even if it was, Kurt's secret would get out anyway if they had to go to court to try to prosecute him.

He could just call Sebastian's bluff and take a stand against him. Say that Blaine wasn't going to play his game and let him go ahead and tell the whole world that Kurt was crazy. But that option terrified Kurt. Sure, the people in his life that knew him and loved him were incredibly supportive of him once they found out, but Kurt didn't want everyone tiptoeing around him like he was a bomb that might go off at any moment. That's exactly how his Dad, Carole, Finn and now Blaine were acting and Kurt wasn't sure he could take it much longer from the four of them, let alone every other person in his life.

That left him with only one other option in his mind. He could break up with Blaine.

He could just concede the victory to Sebastian and let Blaine go. After all, hadn't he thought on numerous occasions about how unfair this whole thing was to Blaine? When they met and became friends and then eventually fell in love with each other, Blaine didn't know about Kurt's disorder. Kurt almost felt like he'd trapped Blaine, charming him until he was head over heels and then dropping this bombshell on him.

Maybe Blaine would be better off without him.

* * *

><p>When Kurt finally came back in an hour later, Blaine was in the kitchen, chopping up some lettuce and tomatoes. Kurt had to bite back a smile at how cute he looked in Carole's apron because what he was about to do wasn't funny, nor should he approach his boyfriend with a smile, giving him false hope that the conversation was going to be a pleasant one.<p>

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked quietly. He'd obviously startled Blaine, evident by the way Blaine jumped slightly back from the cutting board.

"Just thought I'd make you—us, make us something," Blaine looked scared to Kurt, and it wasn't like him to stumble over his words. It almost made Kurt change his mind, but he knew he had to follow through with his plan. It was now or never.

"That's very thoughtful of you," Kurt answered. "But can you stop for a moment? I have something I need to say to you."

"Um, yeah, sure," Blaine said hurriedly. He grabbed a kitchen towel and wiped the vegetable juices from his fingers before walking around the island to sit in the stool Kurt pulled out for him. Kurt sat down in the other and studied his boyfriend for a moment before diving in.

"I think we should break up," he said simply, his even tone betraying the intense feelings of hurt and regret that tumbled around inside of him.

"Kurt, what are you—why? What do you mean?" Blaine's eyes went wide as he stared at Kurt with disbelief.

"It's not that I want to," Kurt answered. "I just don't see any other solution. I don't want the world knowing about me, but more importantly, I don't think that this relationship is fair to you. You deserve to be with someone…normal, I guess." Kurt watched Blaine with growing apprehension. Color was rising from below his neckline and quickly covering his face with each word Kurt spoke.

"And that someone is Sebastian? And that decision is yours and yours alone to make? You just get to pass me off to Sebastian and I don't get a say in the matter?"

"Blaine, it's not like that, I—"

"No!" Blaine shouted, startling Kurt. "You had your chance to talk, now it's my turn. I love you, Kurt._ I love you_. I don't care about your DID, I care about you. Of course I want you healthy, but only because I can see what this illness is doing to you. You're not eating, you're not sleeping, your alters are getting you into dangerous situations…No. I refuse to let you break up with me. Not unless you have a valid reason, because you will _not _use me as a scapegoat. If you can tell me honestly right here and now that you no longer love me, then I will walk out of this house and never bother you again."

Kurt stared at him, mouth agape until he finally regained his composure and swallowed thickly. Blaine was watching him, waiting for an answer, with a strange mixture of anger, fear and hurt etched all over his face. Kurt took a deep breath before finally answering.

"Of course I love you, Blaine," Kurt finally answered shakily. The look of relief on Blaine's face was only momentary. He was happy that Kurt loved him, but that still left the problem of Kurt wanting to break up with him. "I never for one second stopped loving you."

Blaine took a deep breath before crafting his response.

"Okay then, that settles that," Blaine said. He reached down to grab Kurt's hands with his own. "Kurt, I want you to look at me. I love you. I will say it a million times if you need me to. We will get through this. Together. I'm not going to abandon you and I'm not going to let Sebastian run our lives. We'll figure out something, alright? Please just say you trust me?"

Kurt's eyes glassed over as he looked deep into Blaine's. Suddenly, a huge wave of fear rushed away from him, and while it didn't sweep it all away, it definitely took a load off. Kurt squeezed Blaine's hands tightly and mustered all the courage he had within him.

"I trust you."


	20. Chapter 20

**This one is intense, but probably not in the way you're expecting.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Kurt**

* * *

><p>Chapter 20<p>

Burt was finally unplugging the Rug Doctor and winding the cord back around the base. Kurt's room looked and smelled brand new. A fresh coat of paint, steam cleaned carpets and brand new bed linens almost made it look normal and neutral, like it wasn't holding a deep, disturbing secret. Like it didn't have a devastating story to tell.

It took Burt all day to get it this way, mostly because he hadn't really started cleaning up until close to noon. Per Dr. Simmons instructions, he took pictures of everything, every little scribble on the floor, every scattered photograph and shredded bed sheet. It was difficult for Burt to document all this. He, for some strange, inexplicable reason, felt like he was betraying Kurt, or maybe Jamie. Almost like he'd come in and found him all naked, vulnerable and exposed and just started snapping away.

Burt shook out the thoughts that gathered in his head and went about documenting and then later cleaning the room. A few hours earlier, Burt had heard Blaine and Kurt getting into an argument. The raised voices and the raw emotion almost drew him out of the room. He felt the need to go lecture Blaine about not upsetting Kurt, not putting too much pressure on him, but he knew it wouldn't have done any good. His son was an emotional person, and especially now after going through the photo albums and landing on a picture that upset him so much he transitioned, trashed his room and got arrested, Burt wasn't so sure that the emotions he was experiencing today were altogether bad. They had to come out somehow and it might as well be while he was safe at home with a pair of eyes on him at all times.

It didn't take long for the noise to die down below him, and judging from the absence of slammed doors, Burt determined that the boys must have worked it out.

With the room completed, Burt checked his watch and saw that it was closing in on dinnertime. Carole should be home from work within the hour and Finn would be back from Puck's house soon too. Gathering the box he'd put together with all the 'evidence' from Kurt's room, Burt headed into his and Carole's room. He found a spot on the closet floor for the box and covered it with a blanket. He'd go through everything again later that night maybe, when he had more energy and wasn't so tired and hungry.

It was at that moment that Burt lifted his nose to the glorious scent that was wafting through the house. It smelled like lasagna, which as far as Burt knew, Kurt didn't know how to make. For the brief period of time it took for Burt to race down the stairs, he inwardly suspected that Gina was here and for whatever reason, Blaine had failed to alert him.

But when he made it to the base of the stairs, he saw something that nearly made him sit down right there on the bottom step. The scene was one that Burt remembered well from his first few months with Kurt's mom, and it nearly brought tears to his eyes seeing it again.

Kurt and Blaine were standing around the island, opposite of each other. Blaine was slicing and buttering bread while Kurt dressed a salad in a big bowl. They were laughing with each other, Blaine telling Kurt something that made him throw his head back in a carefree giggle. Regaining his composure, Kurt picked up a black olive and tossed it at Blaine's head while Blaine made a comical attempt to catch it with his mouth.

Both boys were oblivious to Burt's presence at the base of the stairs, a fact that Burt exploited in favor of watching the scene a little while longer. It had been so long since he saw his son laugh like this, since he'd seen him so relaxed. He cherished every second of it.

As it turned out, Carole ended up being the one to break it up, entering the kitchen through the garage door. Burt wiped his eyes nonchalantly before stepping into the kitchen, so as to appear that it was mere coincidence that both parents happened upon the scene at the same time .

"Boys," Carole said in disbelief but with a smile. "It smells absolutely heavenly in here! Did you do this all by yourselves?"

"Well, really it was all Blaine," Kurt answered happily. "I just fixed the salad."

"Not true, you also set the table," Blaine retorted.

"Gee, thanks," Kurt said with lighthearted sarcasm. "But really, the lasagna is all Blaine."

"It's my grandmother's recipe," Blaine explained. "It's the only thing I really know how to make."

"Well, I'm impressed," Burt piped in. "When do we eat?"

"As soon as Finn gets home," Kurt answered looking at his watch. "Which should be any moment now."

"Great, well I need to go wash up," Carole said, hanging her keys up and heading toward the stairs.

"I'll come with." Burt decided to follow his wife upstairs, hoping that the boys would carry on like they had been earlier.

* * *

><p><em>Meet me in the Warbler's lounge ASAP.<em>

Jeff looked at the text from Nick for the third time since receiving it several minutes earlier. He was already headed in the direction of the academic building where the Warbler's rehearsed but he couldn't help feeling a deep sense of foreboding. Nick wasn't one to send text messages and when he did, they were usually cute and fluffy. This one was no nonsense and that definitely worried Jeff.

He couldn't help thinking that maybe this had something to do with his chat with Sebastian the evening before. After all, it wasn't until Sebastian transferred to Dalton that everything seemed to be going haywire. Jeff still didn't know what was going on with Blaine and Kurt, whether they were still together or not, or even if Blaine had told Kurt the whole story. Jeff had sent Blaine a text message earlier in the day, but didn't get an answer back and he didn't want to bug him if he was busy trying to patch things up with Kurt.

As Jeff finally arrived outside the double oak doors leading into the Warbler's lounge, he took a deep breath and tried to center himself. He had to be prepared for anything that might be in that room.

But he was anything but prepared when those doors swung open.

The first thing he saw was a poster-size picture of he and Nick engaged in a pretty intense lip-lock. Jeff recognized the picture. Nick had taken it one night after they had first started dating. Both were feeling high and impulsive off the euphoria of new love and the potential consequences that might arise from such a picture landing in the wrong hands were nowhere near the forefronts of their minds.

The second thing that Jeff saw was Nick. He was sitting on one of the couches, head down in his lap, unmoving. For a split second, Jeff thought that maybe he was hurt or unconscious, since he didn't even look up when Jeff entered the room. But when he moved closer, he could see the way Nick's whole body was trembling. Jeff kneeled beside him and immediately began rubbing his back.

"Nick, what happened?"

There was no answer from the other boy.

"Please, will you answer me? What's going on? Are you hurt?"

Finally, Nick looked up, eyes blood shot and puffy, like he'd been crying for a while. How long had he been sitting here alone? Jeff felt a surge of protectiveness go through him, and as much as he wanted to force Nick to tell him what happened, he knew he had to let him do it in his time.

Without speaking, Nick uncrossed his arms, revealing a crumpled up piece of paper in his right hand. He unceremoniously dumped it at Jeff's feet. Jeff slowly retrieved it from the floor, keeping his eyes on Nick until he'd smoothed the paper out enough to read it.

_Dear Nick,_

_I thought you'd like this poster I made for you. I think it captures the essence of your relationship with Jeff, don't you agree? Speaking of Jeff, he made a pretty bad choice last night and well, I remember you telling me about how homophobic your father is and how horrible it would be if he ever found out about your little secret, so I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone. _

_You see, I think you could do a lot better than Jeff, and frankly, after your father gets a copy of this photo, I imagine you won't be seeing much of Jeff anymore. Actually, you probably won't be seeing much of any of us anymore, if you were serious about thinking your dad would ship you off to boot camp if he found out you were gay._

_Remember one thing though, sweet Nick: it was Jeff that did this to you when he decided to stick his nose where it didn't belong. Payback is a bitch._

_Love, _

_Sebastian_

"He sent me a text message telling me to meet him here because he had a gift for me," Nick spoke quietly, startling Jeff as he read through the note a second time. "When I got here, this was taped to the poster."

Jeff was speechless. He had no idea what to do or what to say. He knew that this relationship was a secret from Nick's family, and he believed Nick when he said how terrified he was of his father finding out. He'd respected Nick's wishes and made himself invisible when Nick's family came to visit. One time, his family had surprised him in the middle of lunch with a visit and Jeff even joked with him about girls in front of them to cover up for the fact that five minutes earlier, they'd been holding hands under the table.

Now that was all ruined, because Jeff had pissed Sebastian off.

"M-maybe it's not too late," Jeff finally stuttered. "Maybe we can still stop him."

"Are you stupid?" Nick spat angrily, shocking Jeff. He'd never spoken that way before, at least not to him. "Of course we can't stop him. I know he's already sent it." Nick pulled his phone out and shoved it at Jeff, who took it tentatively. Unlocking the screen, he saw twelve missed calls from Nick's mother, three from his sister and another one from his father.

"The phone hasn't stopped ringing, but I'm too afraid to answer it," Nick admitted. "What am I going to say? What am I going to do?"

"I don't know," Jeff answered quietly. "I love you though, and—"

"Don't," Nick cut him off, sounding halfway between anger and defeat. "Don't say that to me when I know that this is probably the last time I'll ever get to see you."

Nick stood up from the couch, almost robotically, and made his way out of the room, leaving a stunned and hurt Jeff still kneeling on the floor. As he passed by the poster, Nick tore it down from the wall with an anguished cry of frustration.


	21. Chapter 21

**Wow, we hit a hundred reviews with that last chapter, thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement! I have to admit this next chapter is a little boring, but it's important for building up for some things in the future. I always appreciate reviews, but especially now with the stupid hit counter down for the past few days. Thanks for reading.**

**And for those of you who are wondering, I expect Conrad to make an appearance soon :)**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 21<p>

"But Dean Parker, it was a clear violation of Dalton's zero tolerance bullying policy!"

"I don't understand how he's getting away with this, did his father donate a million dollars to the school or something?"

"This is only going to make him think he can keep doing this!"

"Boys!" Dean Parker shouted over the loud, angry voices of the three boys, one of whom wasn't even a student at Dalton Academy any more. It was too early on a Monday morning for this much shouting. "Settle down, now!"

Kurt, Blaine and Jeff all stop mid-sentence at the roar of the dean. They'd been waiting outside his office for an hour, determined to speak with him before he busied himself with other tasks for the day.

"Now, as I already explained," Dean Parker continued. "Mr. Smythe was given a three-day suspension for the prank he pulled involving Mr. Duval—"

"Prank?" Jeff almost shot out of his chair, but both Blaine and Kurt, who were sitting on either side of him, threw out an arm to hold him down. Getting in the dean's face wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"That's the last interruption I'll tolerate from you, Mr. Sterling, sit back." Dean Parker gave him one last lingering glare before continuing on, addressing all three boys again. "And while I've got you in here, when I interviewed Mr. Smythe about the incident, he said that on Saturday night you came to his room and tackled him before issuing him a warning of some sort?"

"He was blackmailing Blaine with Kurt and—"

"Answer the question, yes or no, Mr. Sterling. Did you, _yes or no_, initiate a physical confrontation with Mr. Smythe?" All three boys loathed the condescension that dripped from the dean's words, but at this point, they felt powerless to fight it.

"Yes," Jeff answered simply.

"In that case, you are hereby suspended for three days as well for fighting and you're lucky I don't tack on an extra three days for insubordination."

Jeff bit the inside of his lip to keep from screaming at the man. Sensing what his friend wanted to ask, but knew he wasn't able without getting himself in more trouble, Blaine cut in.

"Sir, if I may ask," he began, trying his hardest to sound respectful but not patronizing. "What is Nick's enrollment status? We know he left last night with his parents, but….i-is he coming back?"

Dean Parker sighed. "As of right now, Mr. Duval is still enrolled at Dalton. His mother sent word of a family emergency and has not communicated with us when or if he will be back."

All three boys looked visibly, if momentarily, relieved. At least Nick wasn't for sure gone.

"Mr. Sterling," Dean Parker spoke again, his voice softened slightly. "I suggest you head back to your dorm now. You are not to attend classes again until Thursday and my secretary will be contacting your parents this morning in regards to your suspension."

"Yes sir," Jeff responded quietly. He gave a last 'good luck' look to Blaine and Kurt before making his way out of the office.

"Now," Dean Parker started again once the door was shut. "As for what you're telling me about Mr. Smythe and this alleged blackmail situation."

"With all due respect," Kurt spoke firmly but respectfully. "There is nothing alleged about it. Sebastian said he would tell everyone at this school and presumably at McKinley about my DID if Blaine didn't dump me and start dating him. It's psychotic and it's predatory."

"If what you're telling me is correct, then I completely agree with you, Mr. Hummel," Dean Parker responded, much to both boys' surprise. "I will, of course, have to do some investigating, but I will not tolerate a Dalton student harassing another, either current or former."

"I don't know how you or anyone else can stop him though," Blaine spoke, sounding slightly defeated. "I think he's proven that he's going to do what he wants to do regardless of the consequences."

"Well, we'll start with a meeting with him and his parents, although I think it'll have to be via video feed since they are both out of the country. Hopefully that will solve the problem, but if not, we will visit other solutions."

Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't think of what to say that wouldn't get him or Blaine in more trouble. What didn't Dean Parker understand about the severity of this situation? All it was going to take was for Sebastian to upload one sentence onto the internet in order for his promise to be fulfilled. One decision. If Dean Parker's meeting with Sebastian and his parents didn't work, it meant that the whole world would know about Kurt. He was determined to figure out a better plan and from the look in Blaine's eyes when he shot him a glance, Blaine was determined as well.

"Thank you for meeting with us, Dean Parker," Kurt finally willed himself to say with a small, tight smile.

"I don't see that you gave me much of an option since you were blocking my office door when I got here this morning, but nonetheless, you're welcome."

Both boys got up and began shuffling out of the room.

"Oh, and Mr. Anderson? I expect to hear from all of your teachers today that you were in class."

"Yes sir," Blaine answered, turning around to make eye contact before following Kurt out of the office.

* * *

><p>"Thank you for meeting with us, Ron," Burt started after shaking hands with the man across the desk and sitting down alongside Carole in the spacious, well-decorated office.<p>

"It's no problem, Burt, you've been cutting me deals on my oil changes going on fifteen years now, it's about time I returned the favor. What can I help you with today?" Burt was comforted by the genuine look of concern on Ron Grandin's face. He'd only briefly explained over the phone that he and Carole had some legal questions about a possible incident involving their son years ago.

"I don't really know where to start," Burt stalled. He rarely had to lay everything on the table like this, and while he'd known Ron forever, he didn't really_ know_ him. He knew he was one of Lima's most prominent private attorneys and that was about it. "I guess I'll just…I'll just speak plainly. I believe my son may have been…I believe that someone may have been…inappropriate…with my son when he was a young child. And this has only come to light in the last week or so, and I was just wondering what our options might be, you know, legally."

Ron nodded with concern. This man who was usually so good at expressing himself when it came to cars was visibly having a very difficult time trying to explain this.

"Well, let me start by asking a few questions," Ron said gently. "What did your son tell you happened?"

"That's the thing, he hasn't, I just kind of found out all this on my own."

"Okay then, how did you find out?"

"Kurt's been having some difficulties, emotionally, I mean, and so I started doing a little digging in the past and I met with one of his childhood friends who told me about their suspicions about what may have happened."

"Is that all you're going by?" Ron asked, still gently, but with a hint of skepticism in his voice. Civil cases were hard to win with tons of evidence, let alone with only heresy.

"Well, no," Burt struggled. How was he supposed to explain the fiasco with Jamie?

"We also found a picture in Kurt's room of the person that we believe may have abused Kurt," Carole piped in, earning her a grateful look from Burt. "He had all but destroyed it, and to us, it just seemed to fit."

"Okay," Ron sighed. They were going to need a lot more than that if this was going to go anywhere. "Here's what I think your options are. First, I think you need to work with Kurt to get him to open up about whether or not he was abused when he was little. Is he in counseling? Good. If and when he discloses something, we'll go from there. The statute of limitations in Ohio on child molestation—" Ron winced as he realized too late that those words had probably never been spoken aloud in specific regard to Kurt Hummel, judging by the look that washed over Burt's face. "O-on child abuse crimes, is twelve years, starting at age eighteen, so you have plenty of time. We'll draw up a case plan and subpoena the offender—"

"There's a problem with that," Burt cut him off, finding his voice again after the shock of hearing those words spoken aloud. "I don't exactly know where he is. According to his nephew, he disappeared over ten years ago."

"Well, that could definitely pose a problem," Ron answered, trying not to get frustrated. He genuinely felt for the Hummels, but they weren't giving him much to go on. "Okay, how about this? I'm going to give you the number to a good friend of mine, Richard Oliver. He's a private investigator, and if anyone can track this guy down, he can."

Burt nodded and accepted the business card.

"Now, I'm going to go ahead and warn you that this might take a long time. People who disappeared over a decade ago can be hard to find. He may be in prison, or in another country or anywhere. Then again, he may be in the next town over."

Burt and Carole both shuddered.

"But," Ron continued. "While he's looking for this guy, that will give you the opportunity to work with Kurt, see if he'll disclose anything. Don't push him too hard, but do try to see what he remembers. I'd advise you to discuss all this with his therapist before making any moves."

"Thanks again for meeting with us Ron," Burt said as he stood up. "You're a good man."

"It's the least I can do, really," Ron said with sincere humility. Even though a lot of people tried to paint attorneys as heartless, soulless money grabbers, Ron had a soft spot in his heart for abused children. "Let me know as soon as Kurt discloses something."

"Will do, Ron, thanks." With nods and smiles, Carole and Burt headed out of the office. They were both drained and determined as they headed to the car to work on a game plan.


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Note: Just a warning, there's a bit of strong language in this chapter, so be forewarned. **

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

**P.S. BGabes- there's a gift for you in this one :)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 22<p>

Kurt had planned to be at Dalton the entire day, not knowing how long the meeting with Dean Parker was going to take, but since they walked out of his office at half-past eight and Blaine had been ordered to attend his classes, Kurt figured he'd spend the day with Jeff. That is, if Jeff wanted to be around Kurt. Even though Jeff had assured both he and Blaine several times that he didn't blame them for what happened with Nick, Kurt was sure that had the roles been reversed, he would feel a little bitterness. After all, the whole situation would never have happened if it weren't for Kurt's secret.

"No, Kurt," Jeff had told him repeatedly Sunday night and earlier that morning. "None of this would have happened if Sebastian wasn't such a major douchebag. Not to mention the fact that no one twisted my arm to go confront him about what he was doing to Blaine."

Even still, Kurt was worried as he tentatively knocked on Jeff's dorm room door. After several moments, the door cracked open briefly before Jeff opened it all the way.

"Kurt, what are you doing here?" Jeff greeted, surprised. "Come in."

"Well, the rest of the meeting was a bit of a wash," Kurt replied as he entered into the room. He sat down cross legged on the floor. "Dean Parker said he was going to get a report from each of Blaine's teachers to make sure he was in class today, so I thought I'd come spend some time with you. If that's okay, I mean." Kurt tacked on that last bit a little bashfully, feeling the color rise in his cheeks.

"Yeah, of course," Jeff answered quickly, taking a seat opposite him on the floor, drawing up his knees and leaning back on his bed. "And Kurt, please for the love of God, stop feeling guilty. There's no reason for it, and it doesn't sound like you need the extra stress."

Kurt took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, sir," he chuckled. After a few quiet moments, he added softly, "Have you heard from him?"

"Not yet," Jeff mumbled, knowing that Kurt was talking about Nick. It had been a long twelve-ish hours since the night before when Jeff had watched from his window the departing figures of Nick and his parents. He didn't have any of his belongings with him, which gave Jeff both comfort and discomfort. Comfort, because if he hadn't packed up all of his stuff, then maybe he was coming back and discomfort because maybe it meant that his parents were so furious that they were willing to leave everything just to get Nick away as quickly as possible.

Not a moment since then had gone by without Jeff having his hand directly on his cell phone in his pocket nearly at all times. He unlocked the screen about every thirty seconds just in case he'd somehow missed something. To put it frankly, Jeff was a mess. He held together better than Kurt or Blaine would have, though. He was blessed with more even emotions, a better ability to restrain himself. Well, usually, that is. The incident with Sebastian the other night was an anomaly. A very costly one.

"Well," Kurt answered, searching for the right words. "I'm sure you'll hear something soon."

"I'm glad one of us is sure," Jeff answered. Kurt winced. Obviously that wasn't what Jeff needed to hear. "I just hope he's okay. Even if I never get to see him again, I just want to know that he's safe and loved."

Jeff's voice cracked and his chin quivered slightly. Kurt's heart broke for his friend and he hoped that Jeff didn't mind it when he leaned over and drew him into a hug. Kurt supposed that he didn't, when Jeff didn't pull away. He didn't exactly melt into the hug either, but when Kurt finally pulled back, Jeff did look slightly more composed.

"Can I ask you a question?" Kurt spoke tentatively after a few moments. Jeff nodded wordlessly.

"Why did you confront Sebastian? I mean, I'm very grateful, but you're usually so restrained. I-it's not like you."

"I didn't like what he posted about him and Blaine on Facebook," Jeff explained simply. "I hated that he was bullying the two of you by flirting so publicly and I didn't want any of our or your friends to feel the way I did when I saw the two of them at the Lima Bean on Saturday."

Kurt stared at Jeff slack jawed. Jeff began to feel a little self-conscious as Kurt remained silent and his features unchanging.

"What Facebook post? What are you talking about?"

* * *

><p>Blaine stared down at the text message from Jeff with mixture of dread and panic.<p>

_Kurt just got upset about something and stormed out. I think he may have had a transition. He was talking with a weird accent and messing with his hair before he left. I tried to get him to stay, but he pushed me._

_Shit,_ Blaine thought,_ I bet it's Conrad. _Blaine looked up from his phone in his lap to the clock and inwardly groaned. It was only nine o'clock and there was no way he could leave class without getting in trouble with Dean Parker. It had to be worth it though. After all, Blaine was a straight-A student who'd never been in any trouble at Dalton before. How much could he be punished?

Excusing himself to go to the bathroom, Blaine gathered his belongings and rushed out of the room, earning snickers from his classmates and an odd look from his teacher, who surely was wondering why he was taking everything to the bathroom with him.

_Okay, I'm on my way to your room. Did you see which way he went? _Blaine typed as he half-walked, half-jogged down the hallway toward the stairs.

Seconds later, he received a reply.

_No, by the time I got back up, he was nowhere in sight._

Two minutes later, Blaine was making his way into Jeff's room without bothering to knock.

"Okay," he panted, throwing his satchel down. "What were you talking about right before he, you know…?"

"Well," Jeff started guiltily. "I-I kind of didn't know that you hadn't told him about the whole Facebook thing from Saturday."

"Oh my God," Blaine groaned. "Did he say anything when he found out?"

"Just that he hated Sebastian and that he wanted to kill him," Jeff answered with sarcastic nonchalance.

Blaine walked over quickly to Jeff and put a hand on each of his shoulders. He looked even more panicked to Jeff than before, if that was even possible.

"Jeff, this is very important. Did he….did he sound like Kurt when he said that, or someone else?" In Blaine's mind, Conrad was very capable of murdering Sebastian if he wanted to, whereas if it had been Kurt speaking, Blaine knew that he would have just been venting. Kurt couldn't hurt a fly, but the jury was out on what Conrad could and couldn't do.

"Oh, um, Kurt," Jeff answered. Blaine sighed heavily and dropped his arms. "When he was the other person, he just told me to get out of his way and called me a 'fudge-packing fruit fly.'"

"Yeah, definitely Conrad," Blaine muttered, mostly to himself. "Now we just need to figure out where he went."

"My guess is he went to go fuck Sebastian up," Jeff said. "Now that I think about it, that's the only other thing he said to me."

"Why didn't you say that to begin with?" Blaine answered with exasperation. He was already dragging Jeff to the door.

"Well, I'm sorry Blaine, but I was a little preoccupied with the fact that Kurt, of all people, shoved me down with a strength that I never would have guessed he had while spewing homophobic slurs at me. Excuse me if it caught me off guard!"

"I'm sorry, Jeff," Blaine apologized hurriedly as they headed down the hallway. "This is just a really serious situation. I'm not sure what this alter is capable of, but if he's intent on fucking Sebastian up, I'm pretty sure he intends to act on it."

* * *

><p>"You cock-sucking," THUMP "No-good," THUMP "whore son of a bitch!" THUMP THUMP. "I outta strip you naked, hog tie you and fuck you sideways, but I just don't swing that way, so today must be your lucky day!"<p>

Sebastian was having a hard time thinking clearly. Somehow he ended up on the floor of his dorm room for the second time in three days, only this time, it wasn't as easy to get away. This time he was being punched in the face repeatedly by Kurt Hummel, or, from the sound, sight and feel of it, Conrad.

He'd come to his room, "to have a friendly, mano y mano little chat" with Sebastian, and Sebastian, finding humor in the situation when he should have been wary of danger, made the mistake of turning his back on Conrad. Now he was paying for it with a couple of black eyes and more than likely, a broken nose. Through the pain and shock, Sebastian had to acknowledge a little respect for the strength with which this little guy was attacking him.

"Conrad!" Sebastian had never been so grateful to hear that voice, even if it meant the humiliation of having Blaine and Jeff rush into his open room and drag a boy half Sebastian's size off of him.

The minute Blaine and Jeff were able to restrain Conrad enough to allow Sebastian to roll out from underneath him, he scrambled crab-like across the floor to safety near his desk, protecting his face gingerly with his hands.

"Let me go! I ain't done showin' him who's in charge at this rodeo!"

"Yes, you're done," Blaine answered, tightening his grip on Conrad's forearm, trying his hardest not to get aroused at the muscles pulsating beneath his hands. Ones that he didn't even know existed on Kurt. "I think you've fucked him up enough."

"Get him the fuck out of here!" Sebastian growled. He tried to hide the fact that tears stung his already swelling eyes. This had to be among the most embarrassing things that had ever happened to him, and Sebastian Smythe did not embarrass easily.

With Conrad still yelling obscenities and kicking out, Blaine and Jeff struggled to remove Conrad from the room.

Once they were gone, Sebastian struggled to stand up and went over to slam his door shut. The pain in his face was not as sharp, but a dull, consistent ache was settling in. Looking at his face in the mirror above his sink, he cleaned up the two or three tiny cuts scattered above his eyes. No doubt about it, he was going to have two black eyes. Gingerly bracing his fingers on either side of his nose, he was relieved to find that it didn't appear to be broken.

After cleaning up, he went back to lie down on his bed. Right before Conrad showed up, he'd been on the phone with his father, who told him they were scheduled to have a video conference with Dean Parker later that afternoon. Now Sebastian just had to decide whether or not this little incident with Conrad was going to play into it. He could see pros and cons on either side and he was determined to spend the rest of the day before the meeting figuring out which way would be in his best interest.

Either way, Sebastian was determined to come out on top, and Kurt Hummel would have to be punished for the actions of his crazy little homophobic alter.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! I apologize in advance for the length of this note, but I wanted to explain something that's been on my mind. I've gotten some feedback about Conrad, and while most of it has been good, I wanted to describe his psyche a bit more for those of you who aren't so sure about him.**

**Conrad is impulsive, immature, unrefined, abrasive and downright offensive at times. He basically is the embodiment of everything that Kurt is not. But he is also Kurt's most loyal and fiercest physical protector. While Gina tends to protect him from emotionally difficult situations, Conrad kicks into action as the 'fight' in Kurt's fight or flight reflex. When he takes over, it's usually because Kurt is in a physically intimidating position (well, aside from when he just wants to come out and play, as we saw in Chapter 1). He loves Kurt and would do anything to make sure he's okay. Does that make his homophobic rants and name-calling okay? No, of course not, but remember that Conrad talks a big game and carries himself like a 300 pound linebacker as part of his defense. I don't believe that Conrad is as homophobic as he lets on. And hey, I made him up, so I'm probably right. :)**

**Again, sorry for the length of that, but I just wanted to clarify. Thanks as always for reading and any feedback is greatly appreciated.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 23<p>

"Turn me loose!"

"Not until we get back to Jeff's room."

It was a long, hard-fought struggle to get Conrad back across the quad to Jeff and Blaine's dorm without attracting too much attention. The strength with which he fought against the two boys was uncanny and definitely unexpected. No wonder Kurt was always so exhausted after a transition. One they'd wrestled their way upstairs and pushed Conrad into the room, closing and locking the door behind them, Blaine and Jeff finally released their grips. All three boys were panting, and while Blaine wanted nothing more than to flop down on the bed, he wasn't about to leave his guard at the door. If Conrad escaped again, he wasn't sure he could chase him down this time.

"Y'all didn't need to interfere," Conrad said angrily, looking between the two other boys. "I had the situation perfectly under control."

"Look, we're pissed off at him too," Jeff reasoned, thankful that Blaine was at the door so that he could sink down into his desk chair. "But you were going to kill him if we didn't pull you off."

"And?" Conrad threw his hands up in disgust. "That fleabag son of a bitch deserved every second of it and if no one else is man enough to do it, then by God I'm ready, willing and able."

_This isn't working_, Blaine thought to himself. All this was doing was making Conrad more upset and the goal was to get him as calm as possible so that he would leave and let Kurt come back.

"You're right," Blaine said calmly. "He does deserve it-"

"No one treats Kurt like that and gets away with it."

"I totally agree, Conrad," Blaine answered, feeling awkward having yet another conversation about Kurt with one of his alters. "But how much would it help Kurt if he got sent to prison because you killed Sebastian?"

There was silence from Conrad as he appeared to mull over that idea in his head. Obviously he hadn't thought that far into his plan.

"I guess you have a point," he finally conceded. "But he can consider this a warning. Next time I'm not going to be so nice."

Blaine decided it was probably better not to remind him that the only reason he stopped was because he was physically removed from Sebastian. At least he seemed to be understanding the point.

Conrad shook his head and walked over to the window, leaning on the sill and looking down into the quad. Jeff took the opportunity to grab Blaine's attention.

"Psst!" he hissed softly. Blaine looked over to him.

"We are in deep shit," Jeff whispered. "When Dean Parker find's out about this-"

"Maybe he won't," Blaine answered quietly and with a healthy dose of undeserved optimism. "Maybe Sebastian won't confess what happened."

"Somehow I doubt that," Jeff said, gritting his teeth. He wasn't mad at Blaine per se, but he did find it quite frustrating that his friend didn't appear to be at the same level of inner hysteria as he was. "He has that video conference this afternoon with the dean and his parents."

"Crap, I forgot about that. What if-"

Blaine's words were halted by a rustling noise coming from the window followed by a hollow-sounding thump. Both boys returned their eyes to the window where Conrad had been standing and saw in horror that he was crumpled up on the floor.

"Oh my God!" Jeff said as they both scrambled over to him. Blaine turned him over on his back and saw that he was out cold, still breathing, but obviously unconscious.

"Kurt," Blaine called out frantically. He positioned Kurt's head so that it was lying in his lap while Jeff stretched his body out so that he was on his back. "Kurt, wake up!"

Blaine patted his face forcefully, noticing the cold sheen coming away on his fingers. After a few good smacks, Kurt finally started to come around, scrunching up his face muscles several times before his eyes fluttered open. He looked around confused for a few moments before closing his eyes again.

"Why'd you wake me up?" he slurred. Blaine had never had anyone pass out on him before, but he was pretty sure that he wasn't supposed to let him go back to sleep. Looking at Jeff offered no assurance, as the look on his face surely mirrored Blaine's own.

"No, Kurt, you need to wake up," Blaine instructed, shaking him again. This time when Kurt opened his eyes again, looking slightly irritated, Blaine hauled him up into a sitting position, drawing his own knees up to help brace Kurt's back against his chest.

"What's going on?" Kurt asked after a few moments, looking at Jeff. He didn't appear to have figured out yet that the object steadying him from behind and at his sides was, in fact, his boyfriend.

"You passed out," Jeff explained. "You transitioned and then..."

"Shit," Kurt muttered, leaning his head back. A look of confusion crossed his face as his eyes met with Blaine's. Staring at his boyfriend upside down, Kurt finally seemed to register his position and gingerly swiveled around so that he was facing sideways, still braced by Blaine's left leg.

"Who was it?" Kurt asked to no one in particular. The last thing he remembered was coming to Jeff's room to have a heart to heart. Which meant that Blaine was supposed to be in class.

"Wait, why are you here?" he asked Blaine. "Aren't you supposed to be in class? Dean Parker is going to murder you!"

"Calm down, Kurt," Blaine soothed. The last thing they all needed was another transition. "It'll be okay, I'll figure something out."

Kurt didn't have the strength to argue. "Well who was it then?"

Blaine and Jeff exchanged a quick glance before Blaine answered.

"It was Conrad."

Kurt didn't look happy to hear that, but then again, of all his alters, Conrad was probably the most inconspicuous. On the other hand, he was also the one most likely to get Kurt into trouble. That is, he was before Jamie got him arrested.

"Do I even want to know what he did?" Kurt asked with a wince. He could already tell by the looks on both the other boys' faces and the radiating pain he was growing aware of in his right hand that whatever it was, it probably wasn't good.

"I'll explain everything to you," Blaine promised sincerely. "But first I want you to eat and drink something. I bet you haven't done either since dinner last night."

Kurt dropped his gaze to his lap. It wasn't that he purposely wasn't taking care of himself. He just had so much else on his mind that he flat out forgot most of the time.

Once Blaine's suspicions had been confirmed, he knew that this, combined with the physical exertion Conrad showed, must be why Kurt passed out, but it didn't make him any less worried. He knew he'd have to call Burt at some point, and probably soon, depending on Sebastian's next move, but at this exact moment, all he was concerned with was making sure that Kurt didn't hit the floor again.

When Blaine instructed Kurt that he needed to eat and drink, Jeff had risen to search through his 'kitchen' (which consisted of a microwave and a minifridge) to see what he could rustle up for Kurt. He came back a few moments later with a banana, some goldfish crackers, a bottle of water and a pack of Poptarts. Blaine gathered everything from him gratefully, and knowing his boyfriend all too well, peeled the banana first and unscrewed the cap on his water before handing them to Kurt.

"Thanks," Kurt said, accepting the items and addressing both boys equally. They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes while Kurt slowly made his way through the banana, chasing it with sips of water every few bites.

"How do you feel?" Blaine asked gently, accepting the empty peel from him. He opened the bag of crackers and handed it to Kurt. Kurt shook his head 'no.'

"Yes," Blaine insisted. Kurt rolled his eyes and held out a cupped hand while Blaine poured out a generous portion of crackers.

"How do you feel?" he asked again. Kurt chewed, took a swig from his water bottle and swallowed.

"Better," he answered. "But with an overwhelming sense of dread over Conrad's escapades today."

As Kurt ate, Blaine and Jeff took turns explaining the adventure they had earlier that day. They tried to play it down as much as possible, but it obviously wasn't working by watching the expressions on Kurt's face.

"I'm so dead," he muttered at the end of everything. Neither Jeff nor Blaine offered any reassurance. They were feeling the same thing about themselves.

They'd been sitting there in near-silence for several minutes when Blaine felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it out, he noticed with dread that the screen announced a new text message from Sebastian. Sliding the screen open, Blaine read.

_You guys are safe for now, but you better watch it from now on. Your little freak of a boyfriend just took this game to a whole new level._

Blaine sighed in deep relief, choosing to ignore Sebastian's threat for the moment in favor of savoring the small victory of getting away with near-murder. He explained to the others, leaving out the ominous second half and the three quickly began formulating a plan for how to get Blaine out of trouble with Dean Parker for missing class.

"Well, really Blaine, it's just now lunch time," Kurt reasoned. "If you go back now, you've only missed a period and a half."

Blaine knew he had a point, but he really didn't want to leave Kurt again. What if something happened? And he still needed to explain everything to Burt.

"I'll be fine," Kurt assured, as if reading Blaine's mind. "Hopefully the alters have gotten the message that they've wreaked enough havoc for one day."

"Okay," Blaine finally conceded after several moments of consideration. "But I want you to call your dad and tell him what happened."

"Deal," Kurt agreed reluctantly. The last thing he wanted to do was upset his father with worry, but he knew Blaine was right. He needed to know.

"You'll keep an eye on him?" Blaine asked Jeff, who nodded in agreement right away. Kurt had to stop himself from stating that he didn't need a babysitter, but he realized how obvious it was that he did, considering he'd both transitioned and fainted within the last few hours.

Still not looking convinced that this was the best idea, Blaine gathered his satchel, which he'd flung in the corner when he rushed into Jeff's room earlier and headed out of the door toward fifth period.


	24. Chapter 24

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 24<p>

It had been almost a week since the incident last week that tore Nick out of Jeff's life. Nearly a week since he'd talked to him, held him, told him how much he meant to him. All week, Jeff tried to concentrate in class, tried engaging his fellow Warblers during practice, but despite the front he put on for everyone else, it was excruciating. Every second of it was pure torture. If only he could get some sort of reassurance that Nick was okay, that he wasn't suffering or being held somewhere against his will.

It was Saturday now, and while usually the coming of the weekend was much anticipated by Jeff and just about every other student on campus, all he could think about was how the days were going to drag on even longer without the distraction of class.

He and Blaine spent a lot of time together over the week. Both were lonely and worried. Jeff for obvious reasons, and Blaine because of what happened after Burt found out about the ordeal on Monday.

"He completely freaked out," Jeff explained when Blaine had hightailed it to Jeff's room after classes that day. "Kurt had to give the phone to me after a few minutes because he didn't believe Kurt when he said everything was better. He was up here within the hour, Blaine. I wanted to call you, but Kurt said that he didn't want you getting into any more trouble in class."

Of course, it was different with Blaine and Kurt. They still talked and texted all the time, and really, Blaine could have driven out to see him on any of those nights during the week. They weren't forbidden from seeing each other, and at least Blaine had the comfort of knowing that Kurt was safe and sound.

When Jeff asked why he didn't go spend time with Kurt after class, Blaine made up some lame excuse about gas money and vehicle wear and tear, but Jeff knew the real reason. Both Blaine and Kurt thought that Jeff needed the companionship more. And they both still felt guilty, despite how many times Jeff told them not to. He wished they didn't and he tried telling him that until he was blue in the face, but he understood why they felt that way. He would feel the same way if the roles were reversed.

Now he was all alone in his bedroom, after insisting that Blaine go see Kurt in Lima rather than languishing with him all day while he wallowed in uncertainty and regret. Blaine had made a good effort of putting up a fight, but Jeff could see the relief hidden deep in his eyes. Jeff was happy to let him go.

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy or appreciate Blaine's presence. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Blaine's companionship was probably the only thing that had kept him sane all week. But to make Blaine stay with him on one of the few days that he and Kurt could spend more than a few hours together would have been wasteful. Just because Jeff's life was falling apart, it didn't mean he had to drag his friends down with him.

A soft knock at the door jolted Jeff out of his thoughts. Sitting up stiffly from where he lay on the bed, he made his way over to the door, hoping it wasn't that weird kid from down the hall who always asked Jeff for help folding his laundry. He thought maybe it was Sebastian, who'd been eerily and confusingly silent on the whole situation that week. He'd sat in the back of the room during Warbler practice, not giving any more or less than what was expected, while the injuries to his face slowly began to fade.

What he didn't stop to consider as he creaked his door open was that maybe it was someone else completely. Someone whom he'd spent every second of every day thinking about over the past week. Someone whom he feared he'd never ever see again.

"Hey," Nick greeted softly, almost bashfully with a tired smile. He had a duffel bag draped over his shoulder and his heavy-lidded eyes told Jeff that Nick probably had gotten about as much sleep this past week as he had.

Jeff was in a state of shock, mouth agape as he stood frozen to the ground at the open door. A dozen words and sentiments were fighting for dominance in his throat so that all that came out was a slight garbled noise that would have embarrassed the normally composed Jeff had the situation not been what it was.

"Mind if I come in?" Nick finally asked, causing Jeff to jump slightly as he stepped aside to let him in. Nick walked in and set his duffel back down on the ground before turning to face Jeff.

"A-are you…" Okay? Hurt? Real? Jeff had no idea which question to ask first. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"I'm fine," Nick explained, answering at least one of Jeff's questions. "And I'm back. I'm not being shipped off to ex-gay camp." Nick chuckled humorlessly. It had been a long, trying week, and a couple of times he thought he'd never be allowed to come back to Dalton, but here he was, relatively intact.

"So your parents, they're, you know, they're cool with everything?"

"Well," Nick started. Where should he begin? "I wouldn't say they're down with me being gay, and they definitely didn't appreciate how they found out, but surprisingly they are trying to understand it and support me."

That was only half true. They weren't okay with him being gay, and his dad was apoplectic after having seen the photograph that Sebastian emailed them, that part was true. The part about them trying to be understanding, supportive and loving? That was a pretty loose translation of their baffling decision to let him come back to Dalton.

"Oh my God," Jeff beamed for the first time in over a week, letting out a shaky breath. "I can't believe it, that's incredible."

Jeff was so ecstatic in that moment, that he finally remembered that Nick was his boyfriend whom he hadn't seen or heard from in a week and that he hadn't properly greeted him with a tackle hug. He came in forcefully and threw his arms around Nick's waist, trying not to completely bowl him over.

And that was when he heard it.

The soft whistle of a sharp breath taken in through gritted teeth. The kind of breath you take when something hurts but you don't want to let on. And now Jeff was more aware, more alert to the fact that Nick was only somewhat hugging him back and that his body tensed up almost imperceptibly, but instinctually when Jeff made contact. Something wasn't right.

"What?" Jeff asked, pulling back slowly. Nick wasn't meeting his gaze. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Nick answered quickly, cursing himself for not being better at hiding.

"Why are you lying to me?" Jeff insisted, knowing he sounded angry, but only because the sudden rush of fear was overwhelming him.

"Jeff, it's nothing—"

"Show me," Jeff ordered, the panic rising in him. Why was he being so evasive if it was nothing? "Nick, I love you. Please show me."

Nick hesitated. He didn't want to, but he knew that Jeff deserved the truth. The week had to have been long for him too, sitting at Dalton not knowing where he was or if he'd ever see him again. Slowly he lifted his green polo shirt and undershirt up, revealing the mottled pattern of bruises around his ribcage.

Jeff stared, reaching his hand out to softly brush over the darkest ones. Most were yellowed and fading, but a few looked newer, more recent. Nick bit his lip to keep from reacting to the touch.

"Your dad?" Jeff asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes."

Jeff dropped his hand, tears burning his eyes. Almost robotically, he went to his desk and gathered his keys and wallet. Shoving his feet into a pair of sandals, he silently began making his way to the door.

"Jeff, what are you…where are you going?" Nick asked quietly, almost meekly. This was all too much to deal with in his first fifteen minutes back on campus.

"I need to talk to your father."

"No you don't," Nick answered, grabbing Jeff's shoulder firmly. "First, you don't know where I live, and second, the only thing that would do is make the whole situation ten times worse."

"But—"

No," Nick said again firmly, trying not to fall apart at the scared look in his boyfriend's eye. "Just stop. Trust me. I'm back now, as long as I play my cards right, then I get to stay. You talking to him is just going to tear us apart again."

"But he hurt you!" Nick was startled at the volume and intensity with which Jeff screamed at him.

"I know," Nick said gently, doing his best to calm Jeff. "I know, and it's not right, but unless you want it to happen again, you're going to have to trust me."

In reality, Nick had no idea what he was saying. Before Sunday, Nick's father had never laid a hand on him before. Sure, he was a very intimidating man with his words, but Nick never had to worry about his dad knocking him around. Even as a child, spankings had been delivered by his mother.

But now they were all playing a new game. One in which Nick wasn't quite sure of the rules. He hoped, however, that if he laid low for a while, kept up his good grades and continued to excel in his extracurriculars, that he wouldn't be dragged away from Dalton again. And he definitely knew better than to talk about his 'filthy lifestyle' to his family ever, ever again.


	25. Chapter 25

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 25<p>

Kurt was starting to feel like a prisoner in his own home. After his dad picked him up from Dalton on Monday, he'd driven straight home and Kurt hadn't been allowed out of the house once. He was feeling so cooped up that he'd almost been looking forward to his appointment with Dr. Simmons on Thursday, but her secretary called the house that morning to reschedule since Dr. Simmons had to attend to a family emergency.

It wasn't that his father was trying to punish him by keeping him home. It was just that he was so afraid. When Kurt called him after Blaine went back to class on Monday, he could hear the panic in Burt's voice then and pleaded with him to please drive safely. He'd tried to explain everything in a way that wouldn't freak his father out, but there was really a limited number of ways you could explain a transition and a bloody fist fight, followed by a fainting spell. Burt had instructed Kurt to put Jeff on the phone and Kurt silently mouthed apologies to his friend as he could hear his father giving loud, direct instructions not to let his son out of his sight.

Jeff was great to sit with him during the forty five minutes it took for Burt to arrive to pick him up. Despite Kurt refusing several times, Jeff made him eat half a Poptart after he'd finished another generous handful of crackers. By that point, Kurt was feeling stuffed, but the logical part of his brain told him that he shouldn't be uncomfortably full after eating what most people would consider a snack. Admittedly, about twenty minutes after eating the Poptart, he felt ten times better than he had previously.

It only made the time go by slower knowing that he wasn't going to see Blaine until the weekend. They'd made an agreement that Blaine should spend time with Jeff after school, since there still had been no word from Nick or his family concerning his whereabouts. As composed as Jeff normally was, Blaine and Kurt felt helpless watching him quietly and privately fall apart.

Kurt missed Blaine, and while they talked every night after Blaine went back to his own room and they both agreed that it was the right thing to do for Jeff, he still felt so lonely without Blaine's presence. He anxiously counted down the hours until Saturday when he knew that Blaine was coming to see him.

Kurt had the whole day planned out. Kurt was hoping that the sunny weather they'd had all week would hold out before the rains were supposed to move in on Sunday. He'd prepared a picnic to eat out in the gazebo and a movie marathon for later in the day.

Even more exciting was that Kurt, after several straight days of begging and bargaining, had finally convinced his dad to let him go to Westerville to watch Blaine perform with the Warblers at the Westerville Mall. Ever since the infamous Gap Attack, which was well-received by everyone except its intended target, the Warblers had grown bolder and bolder in their off-campus performances. Their scheduled Sunday concert at the Westerville Mall food court pavilion was the third such performance of the season.

Now Kurt was humming happily to himself as he spread peanut butter on slices of bread, readying the sandwiches in the final step of assembling the picnic lunch. Blaine was going to be arriving any minute and Kurt found himself rocking back on his heels with a barely controlled enthusiasm. Nothing was going to ruin this day between the two of them, he vowed to himself. Perfect days were hard to come by in Kurt Hummel's life, but he was determined to make this one of them.

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><p>Burt Hummel was a man at the end of his rope. He felt like he'd been dangling for weeks now, and the phone call he received from his shaken son hadn't helped matters. He ignored his doctor's orders to remain as stress-free as possible for the sake of his heart on a near daily basis, but really, what choice did he have? Kurt was in crisis nearly constantly, and through no fault of his own. Kurt was working on his assignments faithfully and even still, things continued to get worse.<p>

But Burt did have reason to be thankful as the week progressed. As upset as he'd been when the Thursday appointment with Dr. Simmons had been cancelled, at least Kurt hadn't had any more transitions since Monday. He'd been eating three times a day and Burt even caught him snacking a few times.

Per his request, Kurt hadn't left the house, not even to run errands with Carole, but Burt knew he couldn't keep his son locked up forever. He could see the stir-crazy look in Kurt's eyes when he begged pathetically to drive to Westerville on Sunday. Against his better judgment, he'd agreed, if for no other reason than he knew that Kurt was just asking him out of respect. Kurt was an adult now, and it was really up to him to come and go as he pleased, but Burt liked that his son still had the decency and love for his father to ask his permission.

After his meeting on Monday with Ron, and before he'd received the phone call from Kurt, Burt had made contact with the private investigator that Ron recommended. Richard Oliver seemed legit to Burt, and he was impressed with the knowledge and resources he seemed to have at his disposal. He respected Richard's honesty with him and his realistic expectations for finding a guy who'd, for all intents and purposes, disappeared into thin air. Richard warned that it might take a while and that Burt was encouraged to call him with any more information, seemingly significant or not, that he might uncover when talking to Kurt. He assured that as soon as he found anything, he'd be in contact with Burt immediately.

By Saturday, Burt still hadn't heard anything from him, but after talking to Richard at length on Monday, he really wasn't expecting to hear anything for a couple of weeks or possibly more. Of course, Burt hadn't quite held up his end of the bargain with Ron or Richard since he hadn't figured out a way to talk to Kurt about what he knew. He was hoping that the appointment with Dr. Simmons would help him broach the topic, but since that wasn't going to happen for at least another week, Burt wondered if he shouldn't just sit down with Kurt himself.

Burt decided that he would, but not until after the weekend. He knew how excited Kurt was about his 'home date', as he called it, with Blaine on Saturday and his trip to Westerville on Sunday. His son deserved a carefree weekend. Well, he deserved a lot more than that, but Burt was going to do his best to make sure that Kurt had at least forty-eight hours of unhindered, carefree time just being a teenager. Everything else could wait while Kurt enjoyed just a little slice of what most kids his age got on a daily basis.

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><p>"Kurt this is so good," Blaine moaned through a mouthful of sandwich. The boys were lounging on a blanket spread out on the gazebo, chatting about nothing in particular and just enjoying the weather and each other's company.<p>

"It's just peanut butter and jelly," Kurt giggled, rolling his eyes. "It can't be that much better than any other you've had."

"But it is," Blaine insisted enthusiastically. "No really, and I bet it's because you made it."

Kurt blushed deeply, despite the fact that he should be used to such flattery after so many months.

"Whatever you say," Kurt replied before taking another small bite of his sandwich. Between that, the fresh fruit, chips and brownies, Kurt was beginning to grow full. He raised his eyebrows in surprise when he saw Blaine going for his third sandwich in addition to the other sides. It was just another one of the little things that Kurt loved about his boyfriend.

After they were both finally sated, they remained outside for a while longer. Not long after they took their last bites, Blaine received a simple text message from Jeff stating that Nick was back at school and that they would explain everything the next day at the mall. Blaine and Kurt hugged each other tightly at the news, wanting desperately to call Jeff or Nick and ask for more details, but they recognized that the boys probably just wanted some time to themselves while they sorted through the last week of separation.

Giddily, they made their way into the house as the sun lazily made it's decent toward the horizon to begin their movie marathon. They'd spent more time than they originally thought they would outside, so rather than the four movies they'd agreed upon earlier, they narrowed it down to two. Kurt chose Pretty in Pink because he liked to tease Blaine about the same-named character that played opposite Molly Ringwald. Blaine chose The Lion King because he loved to sing along.

All in all, it was exactly what Kurt was hoping for. It was a perfect day and a perfect evening with the perfect boyfriend. When Blaine left that night, giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek in the doorway, Kurt couldn't have been happier. By the time he'd closed the door and started the climb up to his bedroom, he was already counting down to when he would get to see Blaine again the next day.

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><p>Kurt watched amused from his seat at a table near the stage in the Westerville Mall food court as Warblers wandered here and there, getting ready for their opening number. He'd met Blaine there an hour earlier just to walk around and spend some time together before the performance. He also reunited with Nick, giving him a long, gentle hug. Jeff had, with Nick's blessing, confided in Blaine and Kurt what had happened to Nick with his father, knowing that he could trust his two friends not to gossip about it. While both Blaine and Kurt were distressed about the whole thing and wished they could do something about it, they respected Nick's wishes to let the whole thing be, but only after giving strong vows that if it ever happened again, they would not remain silent again.<p>

Now, as Kurt watched the scene playing out in front of him, he kept a careful eye on Sebastian. He watched the boy's every move, though he tried his best to be discreet about it. Sebastian didn't notice, or if he did, he didn't appear to care. The whole thing was odd, and it almost creeped Kurt out more that Sebastian hadn't retaliated in any way. He hadn't heard from the other boy, nor had Blaine, Jeff or Nick since the altercation on Monday and Kurt monitered his Facebook nearly religiously for any sign that he was going to hold his promise to ruin Kurt's life.

_Maybe Conrad really did scare the shit out of him_, Kurt thought to himself as he sat sipping his coffee. He allowed himself to entertain the idea that maybe the whole ordeal was over. If it was, great, but Kurt wasn't about to let his guard down around the other boy.

Kurt was broken out of his thoughts as he watched Sebastian walk hurriedly toward the side of the food court that opened out toward the parking lot.

"Sebastian!" Wes called after him, exasperated. "We just now got everyone assembled and we go on in fifteen minutes. Where are you going?"

"Left my tie in my car, I'll be right back!" Sebastian called over his shoulder, walking briskly. Now that Kurt thought about it, he was the only Warbler not in complete uniform. It was a weird thing to forget right before a performance, but Kurt shrugged it off, smiling as Blaine approached his table.

"Are you ready?" he asked, grinning at Blaine as he sat.

"Of course I'm ready," Blaine answered with mock over-confidence. "The question is, are you ready?"

"Well, if I can fight off the hoard of screaming tween girls afterwards, I'll be in good shape," Kurt laughed as he watched the color rise in Blaine's cheeks. "Now go get 'em, Tiger."

Kurt watched Blaine retreat from the table to join the rest of the Warblers at the stage. Within a few minutes, Sebastian was jogging back in, tying his tie as he went. Shortly thereafter, the boys took the stage and began singing.

All in all, they put on an hour long performance, earning loud and appreciative applause after each number. Kurt's heart swelled as he watched Blaine and his former glee club get the recognition he always thought they deserved. As the crowds that had gathered over the hour dispersed, Kurt made his way to the stage.

"You were breath-taking as usual," Kurt whispered in Blaine's ear after being pulled into a tight hug.

"I love you," Blaine whispered back, surprising Kurt. It wasn't that he wasn't used to hearing it, he actually heard it quite often from Blaine, but it was almost always when they were alone, in an intimate situation. The way it came from him so easily reminded Kurt of the first time he'd said it.

"I love you too," Kurt answered, pulling away slightly to look into Blaine's eyes as he spoke. "But unfortunately, I have to go. I promised my dad I'd be home in time for dinner."

Blaine nodded. He didn't want Kurt to leave so soon, but he knew that this was Kurt's first time away from the house since Monday and Burt was probably pacing around the house at that exact moment, unable to rest until Kurt was home safe again.

"Let me walk you to your car?" he asked. Kurt smiled and hooked his arm through Blaine's crooked elbow, allowing Blaine to lead him toward the parking lot.

"Man, it must have poured while we were in there," Blaine observed as they stepped out into the nearly flooded parking lot.

"Yeah, and it looks like it's not quite finished," Kurt answered, pointing up to the western sky as menacing-looking clouds billowed toward them.

"Are you going to be okay going home?" Blaine asked, concern etching his face.

"I'll be fine," Kurt assured. "Maybe I'll beat this next wave."

"Well, just pull over if it gets too bad, okay? Promise?" Kurt tried to suppress the smile that was playing at his lips over his boyfriend's concern.

"I promise," he vowed. Pulling Blaine into one last hug, he said goodbye and headed out to his Navigator parked near the far end of the parking lot.

"Call me when you get home!" Blaine shouted after him.

"I will!" Kurt called back over his shoulder. This time he didn't bother trying to hide his grin. He hated that Blaine had to worry about his DID and how that affected his life and health, but for some reason, it was downright adorable that he was worrying about something as silly as making sure Kurt could drive safely in the rain.

By the time Kurt pulled out of the parking lot onto the main road a few minutes later, it was starting to drizzle again, and after about five minutes, Kurt found himself in a complete downpour. Kurt was relatively unfazed. Growing up with his father, he'd been taught safe driving skills from a very young age. He knew how to drive to avoid hydroplaning and, perhaps more importantly, he knew how to drive to avoid others who didn't know how to drive in the rain. He made sure to give everyone else on the road a wide berth, and thankfully there weren't many other drivers on the road.

About ten minutes into his drive, Kurt's phone began to ring in the passenger's seat. Kurt contemplated answering it, knowing it was probably his dad checking in on him. He decided not to, knowing that he didn't need a distraction with the weather. _I'll pull over at the next exit_, he told himself. It would give him an opportunity to both call his father back and to see if the rain would let up a bit before he continued on, like he promised Blaine he would. The next exit was a little less than a mile up the road, so he carefully began switching lanes to get over all the way to the right.

It was then that he heard a strange noise coming from his engine. It was a hissing sound, almost too faint to hear above the driving rain. Suddenly even more alert than he had been seconds earlier, Kurt scanned his dash for any warning lights, but found nothing. Returning his eyes to the road, he peered at his hood, panic rising instantly in his stomach. There was smoke or steam or something curling out from underneath the hood.

By the time Kurt registered that something was seriously wrong, it was too late. He heard a loud bang and before he could react, his Navigator was spinning out of control. Bracing himself, despite knowing in the back of his mind that it would be of no use, Kurt squeezed his eyes shut. He felt the car leaving the roadway as it bumped down the embankment. Within a split second, his senses were thrown completely as it rolled over. Mercifully, the vehicle finally came to a stop upside down as it crashed into a bank of trees at the bottom of the hill.

Kurt was frozen for a moment before the second wave of panic crashed into him. Letting out a garbled squeal, he began fighting hard against the seatbelt that kept him strapped in, he frantically tried stretching the belt, forgetting about the buckle release at his lap. Being upside down was completely disorienting and the way his head banged against the window hard enough to break it as he tumbled probably didn't help matters.

Unsuccessful at releasing himself, Kurt could feel his heart pounding out of his chest. His only thought was getting out of his car alive and he couldn't figure out how to do it. He knew that he was injured pretty badly. There wasn't a lot of pain, but there was blood and his left ankle sat at a funny angle. After one last attempt at squirming his way out of the seat belt, Kurt suddenly felt a wave of heat running through his body and his vision grew splotchy.

_I don't want to die here_, he thought to himself over and over again before darkness finally won out.


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note: Okay, I didn't expect to have this ready so soon, but I don't want to be evil, so here it is. Comments and suggestions are appreciated as always. Thanks for reading.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 26<p>

Blaine had to keep himself from running down the long corridor on the fifth floor of Westerville Medical Center. The phone call he received from Burt fifteen minutes earlier had scared the shit out of him, despite the fact that the older Hummel assured him that Kurt wasn't facing any life-threatening injuries.

Blaine knew he should have been worried when he didn't hear from Kurt an hour after they said goodbye in the mall parking lot. He'd simply brushed it off as Kurt forgetting, he reasoned that he had probably been bombarded with questions and attention from his dad after coming home and just forgot. But when his phone began ringing and the caller ID announced that it was an incoming call from Burt Hummel, Blaine felt his heart drop into his shoes.

"Hello?"

"Blaine, it's Burt. Are you alright, kid?"

Of course he was alright, what kind of question was that? And why was Burt's voice shaking, however slightly?

"I-I'm fine. Is…did Kurt make it home?" Why did he ask that? Kurt made it home, he had to make it home, he promised that he'd be careful. Burt must be calling about something else.

"Um, no kiddo. I want you to listen carefully. Kurt is okay, but he's been in an accident. He's got some serious injuries, but he's going to be fine."

Blaine had so many questions, he didn't know where to start. Burt must have been able to tell from the strangled noises coming from the other end of the line and decided to answer some of them before Blaine could sort it out enough to ask.

"We're at Westerville Medical Center. We're still in the emergency room, but they're getting ready to take Kurt in for a CT scan and he's been assigned a room, so when he's done he'll be admitted for the night."

CT scan? Blaine racked his brain trying to remember what he'd learned in Health class about different diagnostic tests. Blaine wanted to ask what the scan was for, but again found himself unable to form words.

"Blaine? Why don't you make your way here_, slowly_, there's no need to rush, and I'll explain everything, okay? Just calm down and remember that he's going to be okay."

Blaine was somehow able to grunt out a noise of acknowledgment and gather himself enough to start making the ten minute drive to the hospital. The only thing keeping him from going a hundred miles per hour down the road was the knowledge that Kurt was just traveling this same highway trying to go home when he wrecked.

Now he was moving almost mechanically down the hall toward Room 516, not quite knowing what to expect. He'd called Burt back once he made it to the hospital parking lot to let him know he'd arrived and to get the room number. As he neared the room, as if anticipating the hurried footsteps, Burt stepped out and drew Blaine into a hug, startling the boy. He'd never hugged Blaine before, but judging from the slight tremor in Burt's grasp, Burt must have been more frightened than he let on.

"Come on in, son," he said, finally pulling away and leading Blaine in. Blaine hesitated at first, causing Burt to look back. Seeing the startled look in Blaine's eyes, he understood.

"Don't worry, he's still on the second floor getting his CT scan. They said it might take a little while. Apparently there were several accidents with the bad weather today."

Blaine nodded wordlessly and followed Burt into the room, sinking into one of the recliners on the far wall of the private room.

"What happened? Is it bad? Is he—"

"Slow down, kid, and for God's sake, please breathe," Burt interrupted Blaine in the middle of what promised to be a long string of questions that Blaine finally had the chance to sort out in the ride over.

"The police officer said it looks like Kurt hydroplaned and his car spun off the roadway. It…it rolled a couple of times before hitting a bank of trees."

Blaine winced and Burt didn't know whether to continue with the rest of the aftermath of what happened at the scene or to just move on to Kurt's injuries. He wasn't sure that Blaine could handle hearing that Kurt laid upside down and in and out of consciousness for at least twenty minutes before someone happened to see the wreck to call an ambulance. And he was positive that Blaine didn't need to hear that once they'd cleaned Kurt up a bit, they noticed that several of his fingernails were all but torn off from his apparent struggle to extract himself from the wreckage.

"He's got a couple of broken ribs and a broken collarbone from hitting the steering wheel, his left ankle is shattered—he'll have to have surgery for that tomorrow morning and the CT scan is to check for a concussion since it appears that he banged his head pretty hard."

Blaine sat back slightly in his chair, trying to fight off the tears that were beginning to gather for the first time since Burt originally called him.

"I-I haven't seen him yet, or talked to him," Burt added. "But his ER nurse told me that he was alert in the ambulance on the way over, so that's a good sign."

"It just doesn't make any sense," Blaine croaked, finally finding his voice. "Kurt is the most careful driver I know, especially in bad weather."

"I know," Burt agreed with a heavy sigh. "Everyone makes mistakes though. It's probably my fault. I was so firm with him that he needed to be home by five, he probably was rushing to make sure he got there in time."

"He promised me he'd pull over if the weather got too bad," Blaine said aloud, but not particularly to Burt. He was feeling dazed and all he wanted was for Kurt to be there, in one piece, so that he could hold him and tell him how much he loved him.

"Everyone makes mistakes," Burt repeated quietly. He wanted nothing more than to see his son at that moment. He wished that Carole was there with him, but he told her not to leave her shift at the nursing home early, made her promise that she'd stay and assured her that everything was fine. Now he regretted not asking her to rush over to be with him. It wasn't that Blaine was bad company, quite the opposite. Having someone else there with him that loved his son was definitely a bonus. But he needed the love and reassurance of his wife. He needed her to tell him that everything would be okay so that he'd be strong enough to turn around to Kurt and say it when he needed it.

Both men were jolted out of their private thoughts when the door clicked open and a bed carrying Kurt was wheeled in. They stood nervously as the transporter wheeled the bed back into position and locked the wheels. Kurt looked groggy but was alert enough to recognize that his dad and boyfriend were there waiting for him.

"Kurt did fine with the scan," the accompanying nurse addressed Burt. "I can't say what the findings were, but the doctor should be in in just a little while to explain everything to you. In the meantime, we're going to get Kurt set up with a morphine drip to help take the edge off. My name is Carrie, if you need anything."

Burt nodded in gratitude as she headed back out of the room with the transporter, leaving just the three of them alone in the room.

"How you holding up there, kiddo?" Burt asked gently, moving to Kurt's side and looking down at his son. He wanted to grab ahold of him and squeeze him tight, but refrained from doing anything that might hurt his son even more. Holding his hand was out of the question too, due to the injuries to his fingers and nails.

"I'm okay, I guess…sleepy," Kurt answered. His eyelids were drooping and Burt knew that he'd probably be asleep within a few minutes, especially once Carrie got the drip started. "I'm sorry."

Burt's mouth opened and closed several times before he was able to respond.

"Kurt, there's nothing to be sorry about," he finally reassured. "These things happen. People hydroplane all the time, and I understand you were probably rushing to make it home in time—"

"No," Kurt interrupted, a look of confusion washing over his tired features. "No, I didn't hydroplane."

Burt and Blaine exchanged worried glances.

"You were in a car accident, Kurt," Blaine explained carefully, keeping his eyes moving between Kurt and Burt. Burt's gaze remained on his son.

"I know, but I didn't…it wasn't," Kurt made a noise of frustration and it was obvious to Burt and Blaine that Kurt was fighting a combination of confusion and exhaustion.

Just then, Carrie came bustling back into the room, wheeling the IV stand in front of her. In the length of time it took for them to look up to the door to see who was coming, Kurt began snoring softly.

"Is it okay that he's sleeping?" Burt asked nervously. "I mean, with the head injury and all?"

"Yeah, that's perfectly fine," Carrie reassured. "It's actually a good thing. He needs to rest after everything he's been through in the past few hours, and he'll definitely need it before his surgery first thing in the morning." She turned silent as she concentrated on hooking up the IV. Once she was done, she pressed some buttons on the vitals machine next to the bed and wrote something down in his chart sitting at the foot of the bed.

"Dr. Sparks will be here in a few minutes to discuss the CT scan results," she said, giving the men a smile before heading out of the room again.

"He doesn't remember what happened," Blaine said quietly, trying his best not to wake Kurt up. He looked so much more peaceful with his features relaxed, even though his smallness and pale skin against the white sheets made Blaine want to cry.

"It'll come back," Burt answered, having absolutely no clue if he was right or not.

There was a knock at the door before it opened to a youngish looking man in green scrubs.

"Mr. Hummel? I'm John Sparks, Kurt's doctor this evening," the man greeted, holding his hand out to Burt. Burt shook it and was reassured by the strong grip and confident smile from the doctor.

"Burt Hummel," he replied, dropping his hand to his side. "Is he…how did it look?"

"Well, it was better than I expected, considering how hard he must have knocked his head in the crash," he explained. "He has a moderate concussion, but I don't expect any lasting effects. His memory may be a bit murky or confused for a while, but I would anticipate a full recovery."

"Thank God," Burt breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Next to him, Blaine did the same. "He seemed confused about the accident when they brought him back up here a few minutes ago, but then he fell asleep."

"That's to be expected," Dr. Sparks nodded. "He'll probably come in and out of sleep and lucidity during the next twelve hours or so, so you're in for quite a night. I assume you're staying?"

"Yes, of course, Doctor," Burt answered. "Blaine and I will be here."

Blaine's heart leapt slightly at being included and with the underlying message that he was welcome to stay the night in the room. He didn't want to think about having to leave here before Kurt was alert enough to let Blaine know from his own lips that he was going to be okay.

"Perfect," Dr. Sparks smiled. "He'll need the support. I've got to go now, but be sure to let the nurse know if you need anything."

"Thanks, Doc," Burt answered with pure gratitude. He was amazed that the staff had been so kind and accommodating so far. It wasn't typical, he knew from prior experience.

Once the doctor left, Burt and Blaine sank back down in their chairs and settled in, watching the boy they loved as he slept. It was going to be a long night, they both knew, and there were a lot of questions yet to be answered, but for right now, the knowledge that Kurt would be alright was enough for the two of them.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Okay, so with notifications and alerts down, I don't know how many of you are going to see this, but I wanted to go ahead and get it posted because I'm horrible at sitting on chapters once I've finished them. I have absolutely no patience. I'd love to hear what you think, as always and thank you to everyone for the wonderful reviews. I love reading them!**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara.**

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><p>Chapter 27<p>

Dr. Sparks prediction that Burt and Blaine were "in for quite a night" turned out to be the understatement of the century. Rather than sleep soundly through the night, Kurt was awake every fifteen minutes or so, each time in varying stages of distress. Jamie, Conrad and Gina all made appearances and as bizarre as it seemed, Burt and Blaine arrived at the same conclusion about halfway through the ordeal.

"It's like they're all fighting for dominance," Blaine said in a hushed voice, finally releasing his grip on Kurt's forearm after an episode with Conrad. For the moment being, Kurt was asleep again, but neither of them was holding out hope that it would last.

"One emerges and then the others drag him down to take the top spot," Burt added in agreement. It was the craziest thing, and if Burt thought that Kurt was cycling quickly in the past few weeks, he really had no idea how bad it could get until this night.

Burt had informed the hospital staff from the moment he arrived in the emergency room about Kurt's DID. They assured that it shouldn't be an issue, especially with the massive amounts of pain killers that were currently being administered. It turned out, however, that Kurt belonged to that miniscule population of people for which sedatives have the exact opposite effects. The worst part about it, besides the transitions and the fact that even when it was Kurt who emerged, he was hallucinating heavily, was that the pain killers were working in the sense that they were numbing his pain.

The first time Kurt shot up, he was completely oblivious to his injuries and tried climbing out of the bed. After that, the nursing staff came in and restrained his left ankle, but informed Burt and Blaine that state law forbade four point restraints.

"But Nurse," Burt had argued. "He's clearly out of his head! He's going to hurt himself even more!"

The nurse was apologetic and promised to come back quickly after seeking advice from the doctor, but clearly she and Burt had different understandings of the word 'quickly'. Almost an hour later, when she finally came back, she wrung her hands as she told him that the on-call doctor didn't want to risk switching to a new sedative and having it react badly with the first set. Burt waved her off and wished that Carrie and Dr. Sparks were still on the clock. Surely they would have handled the situation differently.

Aside from doing everything they could to keep Kurt from hurting himself even more, Burt and Blaine could do nothing but watch and listen in distress and horror to what was playing out in front of them.

It was bad to watch Kurt come to, when he was Kurt, and look at the fear playing on his face. He usually screamed about someone chasing him and trying to kill him. Occasionally he'd clutch onto Burt and babble about not wanting to get inside the coffin with his mother and begging Burt not to leave him alone.

The worst, though, was when Jamie emerged. For most of his ten or so appearances, he wouldn't even open his eyes. The only way Burt knew it was Jamie was because he recognized his voice. He would lay there facial muscles twitching, as if he was in an extremely vivid dream state.

Only there was no way that it was a dream. Best case scenario was that it was a horrible nightmare, which is exactly what Blaine assumed. Burt knew better though. It was on this night that Burt learned that Jamie bore the weight of all of Kurt's secrets from childhood.

"Mark," Burt's head shot up the first time he heard his son mumble the name. "I don't want to play this game anymore."

Burt was torn between trying to wake his son up to get him out of this dream world and letting him continue on in hopes of getting some answers that he knew wouldn't come easily if at all under other circumstances.

"Who's Mark?" Blaine asked quietly. Burt held a finger to his mouth and stayed silent. Blaine looked confused, but obeyed.

"This isn't fun anymore….hurts…I'm not a crybaby!" By this point, Jamie _was_ crying, his face scrunched up. Burt was standing up to wake him when—

"No, I promise I won't." Burt had to strain to hear Jamie's whisper. "Because you'll kill my mommy and daddy if I tell."

That was enough. Burt cupped his son's face with his hand, trying to wake him gently, but the touch startled him and within a split second, his hand was knocked away and Burt was ducking a punch.

"Get yer hands offa me!" The voice that threatened him was most definitely Conrad's this time. "What the hell is going on? Where am I?" Conrad sat up and tried to swing his legs over the side, but found his left ankle tied down. "What the fuck is this?"

"Conrad, it's okay," Blaine jumped in, hands in midair, trying to figure out where to grab Conrad to both restrain him safely and to keep himself from being injured by Conrad's brute strength.

"Both of you, keep your distance!" Conrad growled, curling in on himself as much as he could, almost like a captured feral animal. Burt and Blaine both backed away slowly, eyeing Conrad, whose own eyes darted back and forth between the two men. The stare down that ensued lasted about five minutes before Conrad's eyes begin to droop and his posture relaxed and just like that, he was asleep again.

The rest of the night was much the same, with Gina making the occasional appearance to beg Burt and Blaine to go home and rest, assuring them that she'd take good care of Kurt because it was a woman's place to nurture and tend to the infirmed.

Throughout the night, Burt continued to get little tidbits from Jamie when he appeared and eventually he got the grand idea to begin writing the snippets down, in case he forgot some of them. 'Hide and go seek' came up quite a bit, and it seemed like the sequence of events were out of order. Sometimes, it seemed like Jamie was talking to his mother or Edward about how cool and cute Mark was. But most of it was pure terror for Jamie and Burt, and even for Blaine who was still in the dark about everything.

Burt promised he'd fill him in about everything once they'd gotten through the night, maybe when Kurt was in surgery the next day, but the more he thought about it, the more worried he became that it wasn't his place to discuss something so personal with Kurt's boyfriend when Kurt himself seemed to have repressed the memories, creating Jamie to deal with them for him. He decided he'd figure out something on the surface to tell Blaine, but ultimately it would be up to Kurt to make that decision.

Mercifully, seven in the morning finally arrived and Kurt, who'd actually managed to sleep with no interruption for a half hour, was being wheeled down to the OR. Dr. Sparks was back again this morning, and after hearing the report from both Burt's and the charge nurse's points of view, assured Burt that a general anesthetic would be used to knock Kurt out for the procedure and afterwards, they could try a new sedative that would hopefully work the way it was intended.

Dr. Sparks anticipated that Kurt would remain inpatient for at least the next several days, especially with the complications that arose the night before. He knew that the OR surgeon was on a tight schedule, so he vowed that when Kurt was out of surgery and before he woke up again, he'd do a thorough search, including another round of x-rays, to make sure that Kurt didn't cause himself any additional injuries.

"Burt," Blaine spoke quietly when the two sunk back in their chairs exhausted once Kurt had been wheeled out of the room. "What was all that stuff about that Mark guy?"

"Blaine, I—" Burt struggled over finding the right words. "Listen, kid, I think the world of you, and it's obvious that Kurt does too, but…it's just…it's not my place to talk to you about this stuff."

"Is Mark the name of the guy who hurt Kurt when he was little?"

Burt turned slowly to look at Blaine. There was a lot of pain in the boy's eyes, and they seemed to beg Burt not to confirm what he'd just asked.

"How did you know about…did, has Kurt mentioned him to you?" There was no way, in Burt's mind, that Kurt would have disclosed this to Blaine and not said anything to him about it over the years, was there?

"I'm not stupid," Blaine said, hanging his head. It was obvious to him from Burt's response that he was right in his assumption. "I've done some research about DID and they say that…that childhood trauma is a common cause—"

"Blaine," Burt interrupted him. "Listen, I don't know what happened. I-I've come across some things in the last few weeks that I think…yes, I think that someone named Mark hurt Kurt when he was little."

Burt felt like he was betraying his son by admitting this to Blaine, but really, what choice did he have? Blaine had pretty much guessed the whole thing anyway, and Burt had never been known for his skills in deception. Blaine would have seen right through whatever lie he tried to make up on the fly. Besides, a small part of him was grateful that someone else who loved Kurt was going to help him and Carole carry the burden. They were going to need as much help as they could get.

"I want you to listen carefully to me," Burt said turning his chair to face Blaine, who looked both like he wanted to kill someone and like he was going to throw up. "You are a wonderful young man, Blaine. But you are _young_, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Now, I know you have strong feelings for my son—"

"I love your son," Blaine corrected.

"I know you do," Burt reassured. "You love him and I am so thankful for that, because if anyone on this planet deserves it, it's my son. But I need to know that you are in this for the long haul. The next few months, maybe even years are going to be hell. If you don't think you can stick around for that, then you need to break it off now. Don't wait until Kurt is at his lowest, because I'm afraid that this isn't it, to break his heart."

"Sir," Blaine started, gritting his teeth and using every available ounce of energy in his body to keep his emotions at bay. "With all due respect, I resent the implication that I could possibly do that to Kurt. I know I'm young, but I love your son. I will never, _ever _leave him. You know he tried to break up with me last weekend? Said the same things you're saying now, but I'll tell you what I told him. I am not going to abandon Kurt, especially not now. I love him."

Burt pushed all of his skepticism aside. He remembered being seventeen, remembered how intense every emotion was, how many times he fell in and out of love with people, with ideas, with songs on the radio. But even he had to admit that there was something different about Blaine, and about the bond that he and Kurt shared. He just had to put his faith in him and hope for the best, because thinking about the alternative was unbearable.

"I trust you, Blaine."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I don't own Glee or United States of Tara. And I didn't win the Mega Millions so I gotta go to work on Monday :(**

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><p>Chapter 28<p>

Even though he was somewhat relieved to have a couple of hours of rest with Kurt in surgery for his ankle, Burt was feeling even more unsettled than before, now that his mind had time to process everything. He'd sent Blaine to go grab them some breakfast so that he and Carole could have a few quiet moments together before she had to turn around and drive back to Lima for work. As much as she wanted to stay, she and Burt both agreed that one of them needed to be working, especially since the financial cost of the accident was still yet to be determined.

After saying goodbye to Carole, Burt began going over everything that had happened in his brain. The stuff with Jamie was pretty clear cut. As disturbing as it was, he was able to put together a pretty decent idea of what happened to Kurt with Mark, at least from Jamie's recollection. Burt had no reason to suspect that Jamie's memory was anything but solid, since everything he'd learned over the last few weeks seemed to fit perfectly.

Conrad and Gina both acted like their typical selves, so Burt didn't put too much stock into their appearances. Kurt's hallucinations were terrifying, but he hoped upon hope that everything he experienced the night before was drug-induced.

As Burt worked his way back in his memory through the events of the night, he came to one peculiar thing that he'd originally brushed aside. Now, after everything else, he had to wonder if there was more to it than he thought at first.

"I'm back," Blaine's tired but optimistic voice broke Burt out of his thoughts. He placed a brown paper bag on the small bedside table and began pulling items out.

"Egg whites on wheat with fat-free cheddar, spinach and smoked turkey," he announced, handing a paper-wrapped sandwich to a reluctant-looking Burt. "Hey, with Kurt out of commission, someone has to look out for you. He wrote it into our dating vows."

"Dating vows?" Burt responded with a raised eyebrow. Blaine was immediately blushing.

"Uh, yeah," he muttered, busying himself with unloading the rest of the bag. "It was his idea."

Burt gave him a wary grin before unwrapping the sandwich. He grunted in appreciation when Blaine slide a bottle of orange juice to him.

"Hey, do you remember last night when they wheeled Kurt into the room and he was still awake?"

Blaine nodded in agreement, unable and unwilling to speak with his mouth full.

"Do you," Burt started, putting his sandwich back down in the wrapper. "I don't know, do you remember what he said when I told him he'd hydroplaned?"

"Yeah," Blaine answered after taking a swig of orange juice. "He was pretty out of it, huh?"

"Maybe," Burt contemplated, furrowing his brow. "He just seemed so adamant that he hadn't hydroplaned. And he apologized, do you remember that?"

"You know how Kurt is," Blaine reasoned, trying to figure out what Burt was getting at. "He would apologize to a lamppost for walking into it. He probably just felt bad for causing you stress by losing control on the roadway."

"But that's the thing," Burt countered, more animated now. "He said he didn't hydroplane. Why would he apologize if it wasn't an accident?"

"I'm not sure I follow," Blaine answered truthfully. He didn't know what Burt was trying to convey, but whatever it was gave him an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"I just…" Burt exhaled sharply. "Has he expressed anything to you about…I don't know, about being unhappy, maybe about…God I can't even say it."

"You don't think that Kurt purposely ran off the road, do you?" Blaine asked it slowly and with a fair amount of disbelief in his voice. Surely Burt didn't think that Kurt was capable of that.

"I don't want to think that," Burt answered quickly and somewhat defensively. "But after everything that's been going on, all the stress he's been dealing with, all the pressure he's been getting from me and Dr. Simmons to start digging into his past…and then with what he said last night, I just have to wonder."

Blaine was speechless. He didn't want to think about that being a possibility. They'd had the perfect weekend until the accident. Things were finally starting to look up. Even Sebastian had backed off and seemed to drop the whole blackmail issue. Why would Kurt do this? It just didn't make any sense.

"Maybe I should call Dr. Simmons," Burt mused aloud.

"Or maybe we should wait until Kurt is back and ask him ourselves," Blaine suggested quietly. He didn't like the idea of other people going around speculating about whether or not his boyfriend tried to kill himself fifteen minutes after saying goodbye to him. Perhaps it was selfish, but Blaine just wanted to talk to Kurt first. He knew that if he could just look Kurt in the eyes and ask him what happened, he'd know the truth.

"We'll see," Burt agreed reluctantly. He didn't want to wait too much longer to talk to Dr. Simmons. She needed to know about the accident and the crazy aftermath in the hospital afterwards. "Dr. Sparks said Kurt should be out of surgery by ten and then he's going to do the full body check for additional injuries before bringing him back. Said he should be back here by eleven or so."

Blaine glanced at the wall clock and saw that it was only a quarter until nine. It was going to be a long wait, but since neither he nor Burt got any sleep the night before, he was hoping that they could rest a bit in the meantime. This new theory from Burt was going to make it difficult for his mind to shut off, though.

OOO

The harsh ringtone coming from Burt's cellphone startled both men awake. Burt fumbled for the phone, sitting up straight before answering, while Blaine sat up as well, rubbing his eyes. The clock on the wall told him an hour and a half had passed since he'd last looked.

"Hello?" Burt answered, voice gruff with sleep. "Josh? What's up?"

Blaine knew that Josh was one of the mechanics at Burt's shop, the one Burt had talked to early this morning, asking him to take a look at Kurt's navigator which Burt had instructed to be towed to the shop.

"What do you mean?"

Blaine gave Burt a quizzical look to match his own and Burt averted his eyes, appearing to concentrate hard on the information that was being passed along to him on the other end of the line.

"That can't be right. Are you positive?"

Blaine couldn't quite figure out the look that washed over Burt's face. It appeared to be a mixture of several emotions, but he couldn't pinpoint any of them.

"Okay, just…just don't touch it and I'll be there in thirty minutes."

Burt snapped the phone shut and stood up, wiping his hands over his face before lacing his fingers together and resting them on top of his head. He paced the room for a few moments, not saying anything.

"Burt? What's wrong, you're scaring me." Blaine hated sounding so childish, but something was definitely up.

"It's Kurt's car," Burt answered, seeming to snap out of his trance enough to begin gathering his wallet and keys. He sat down to begin lacing his shoes up. "Josh says that there's something fishy under the hood, like maybe Kurt didn't hydroplane after all. Some kind of engine malfunction maybe. I've got to go check it out."

"Wh-what about Kurt, will you be back in time?"

"I don't know, son, maybe, but I don't know," Burt was heading toward the door now, giving Blaine no choice but to follow him to continue the conversation. "If I'm not back by the time he gets here and he's awake, just tell him I'll be back as soon as possible. Don't mention the car or anything we talked about earlier, okay? I need to see what's up before we go bombarding him with questions."

"Okay," Blaine answered meekly.

"I'll call you when I'm on my way back," Burt shouted over his shoulder as he was almost running down the corridor.

Blaine was overwhelmed for a moment, not wanting to be alone when Kurt came back. What if he started cycling like he had the night before? Blaine didn't think he could handle it on his own, but it didn't look like he had a choice. He went back inside the room and slouched down in his chair.

If Dr. Sparks approximations were right, Kurt should be back in less than an hour. Blaine decided he better start preparing what he was going to say, and more importantly, he needed to go over the things he couldn't say. Part of him wanted to run away, like most people his age would probably do, but most of him just wanted to hold Kurt and kiss him and tell him how happy he was that he was alive.

As scared as Blaine was, he couldn't help but smile at the fact that he'd be seeing Kurt again in just a little while regardless of the circumstances. He just hoped he could keep it together by himself until Burt came back.

And he hoped to God that Burt's fears about the accident being intentional on Kurt's part weren't true.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? More than likely I'll have another chapter up tomorrow, 'cause I'm feeling inspired. Thanks for the love everyone!<strong>


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Okay, I apologize for the back-to-back-to-back updates, but like I said, I'm feeling inspired. Also, a few things of note- I can't remember if I mentioned this before and I'm too lazy to go back looking through all my notes, but in case I haven't said it, I'm pretty much using the same Warblers from season two in this story. In other words, no one graduated and the only change is that Sebastian is in the mix. Also, I have no idea where the fuse panel would be on Kurt's car, but hopefully my limited knowledge about cars won't offend too many of you. Thanks for reading.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara.**

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><p>Chapter 29<p>

"Attention! I hereby call this emergency lunchtime meeting of the Warblers to order! Thad, is everybody present and accounted for?"

"All but Blaine."

"Of course," Wes took a deep breath as he looked over the morose crowd in front of him. "Now, as most of you have no doubt already heard, Kurt Hummel was in a serious car accident on his way home from our performance yesterday afternoon."

There was a gasp or two in the air, but for the most part everyone had already heard the news. Blaine had called Jeff from the hospital the evening before and word travelled from there.

One person who hadn't heard, however, was Sebastian. The words leaving the head Warbler's mouth were like cement balls being chucked at Sebastian's gut. For a moment he felt like he couldn't breathe, but he knew that he had to keep his composure or someone would notice.

"I touched base with Blaine this morning," Wes continued. "Despite the severity of the accident, Kurt is alive and in better shape than anyone could imagine considering the condition his car is in. It's the very definition of a miracle. That being said, Kurt's injuries are still very serious and apparently there were some complications last night at the hospital and the full extent of the damage done to Kurt is still unknown at this time."

Worried murmurs rippled through the room and within a few seconds, Warblers were almost shouting to be heard above the din.

"Order! Order!" Wes banged his gavel several times until the room faded into silence again. "Now, I know everyone is very upset about this news, but we need to figure out what we're going to do as a group to help Kurt and Blaine. According to Blaine, Dean Parker gave him through Wednesday before he has to be back, although he's still responsible for getting his assignments in on time. Do I have some volunteers to help get his assignments to Blaine and from Blaine back to the teachers?"

"We're on it," Nick piped up, indicating to himself and Jeff. Jeff nodded in agreement.

"Perfect," Wes nodded to Thad, who was taking notes. "Now, as for Kurt—"

"Wait a minute." Heads all around the room whipped back to Sebastian, who'd taken a very big risk by interrupting Wes. "I understand helping Blaine because he's a Warbler, but why do we care about this Kurt guy?"

It was total chaos as Jeff lunged toward Sebastian with no warning, landing halfway in Nick's lap as he tried to climb over him to get to the newest Warbler. Sebastian, still wary of the nearly healed injuries to his face, stumbled back against the wall. Nick was able to keep hold of Jeff around his waist.

"Jeff, stop!" Nick whispered into his ear as Jeff continued to struggle against him. "Remember what happened last time? This can't be your answer again, he's doing this on purpose."

Jeff finally stopped struggling and Nick released his grip. Standing up and walking slowly toward Sebastian but still maintaining a safe distance, he waited until the room was silent again before speaking.

"First of all, we care about Kurt because he _is _a Warbler. Once a Warbler, always a Warbler. Second, don't you dare pretend like you don't know who Kurt is or why he's important to us ever again. He's more of a Warbler than you will ever—"

"Enough!" Wes banged his gavel with so much force the handle cracked lengthwise down the middle. "Both of you, take your seats! Jeff is right about Kurt being a Warbler, but Sterling, I will not have you degrade a fellow Warbler like that again, do you understand me?"

"Yes," Jeff answered with a clenched jaw. If Nick wasn't beside him, rubbing his shoulder reassuringly, Jeff probably would have answered with something that would have gotten him suspended, if not kicked out of the group entirely.

"Now, back to where we were…"

Sebastian drowned out the sound of Wes's voice with his own thoughts, which were rumbling through his brain at a high rate of speed. He was experiencing a lot of emotions including shock, anger and frustration, but above all else, he was feeling intense fear. He wanted to tell himself it was because he was afraid that he could have killed Kurt with what was meant to be a harmless prank. But if he was being honest with himself, the only thing he truly feared was getting caught.

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><p>Burt couldn't believe what he was seeing. Granted, it took a little while for the shock to wear off at seeing the mangled mess that used to be Kurt's Navigator. He understood now why it had taken awhile for the EMT's and firefighters to extract his son from the vehicle and for the thousandth time since he got that first phone call the night before, he thanked God that Kurt had survived at all.<p>

Once he was able to move again, Burt made his way over to the car. Josh was beside him, rambling about something having to do with the piston rods, but Burt's eyes narrowed in on something else. Something he shouldn't be seeing in a car that merely lost traction and tumbled down an embankment.

"Josh, look at this, did you see this?" Burt leaned in to get a closer look, hoping that he was mistaken at first glance.

"What?" Josh leaned in too, sharing the space with Burt. He squinted for a moment before standing back up straight, more confused than ever.

"It looks like the cylinder head is fused, but that…that doesn't make any sense either." Josh rested his hand on the back of his neck, trying to add everything up.

"It makes perfect sense if you take into account the broken piston rods," Burt muttered, shifting through the other parts of the engine. "You see this corrosion? There's no way this was caused by the accident. Someone tampered with the engine."

"Boss," Josh answered quietly with a slightly-guarded skepticism. "I know you're upset about Kurt, but the car rolled over twice and hit a bank of trees, don't you think—"

"You're smarter than that, Josh," Burt turned to him angrily. "When's the last time you remember seeing a head fused to the engine wall because of a roll-over accident?"

"Okay, you're right," Josh conceded. He felt stupid for suggesting that it could have just been the accident, but who would do that to Kurt? The kid had a rough enough go at it from what he could tell, but he was as nice as could be. Who would hate Kurt enough to do something like that?

"Have you drained the oil?" Burt asked, moving away from the engine and grabbing a creeper.

"N-not yet," Josh answered. Burt squatted down and positioned himself on the creeper before rolling underneath.

"I'm surprised the pan isn't busted," Burt called out, voice muffled by the undercarriage. A few minutes later, he was wheeling back out with the drain pan filled with oil. Without getting off of the creeper, Burt stuck his index finger in the liquid and rubbed it against his thumb. Within seconds he was shaking his head and getting up from the floor.

"What is it?" Josh asked, not sure that he wanted to know the answer.

"You tell me," Burt answered, handing the pan over to him. Josh stuck his finger in it and rubbed it against his thumb like Burt had done.

"Holy shit," Josh muttered. The oil felt like water mixed with cornstarch, with absolutely no lubrication. Something had definitely been put in the oil to cause it to break down. "What do you think it is?"

"Bleach," Burt answered immediately. "Smell it."

Josh moved his face close to the pan and inhaled. It was faint, but Burt was right and all the pieces fell into place.

"How did Kurt make it even a mile down the road without noticing something was wrong?" Josh asked.

"That's the thing," Burt answered, grabbing a sealable plastic container and transferring the oil to it. "Kurt is such a careful driver and he would have been more so considering the weather. I don't know how he could have overlooked the warning light on his dash."

"I need to check something," Josh answered, leaving Burt to continue pouring the oil mixture into the container. Burt hardly noticed as he left.

"Boss, I think you should look at this," Josh called over after a minute. It had only taken him a few moments to disassemble the kick board on the passenger side of the Navigator to expose the fuse panel. Burt walked slowly over and looked over Josh's shoulder and immediately saw what Josh was alluding to.

"A fuse is gone," Burt said, reaching over Josh's shoulder to reach into the glove compartment. He pulled out the owner's manual tucked inside and began flipping through until he found what he was looking for.

"Damn it!" he shouted, throwing the book to the floor. "That's the fuse to the warning lights. That's it, I'm calling the cops."

Josh froze, unsure of what to do next. He decided his best course of action was to remain by the car until getting further instruction from Burt. He watched as his boss slammed into his office and picked up the phone, dialing briefly before holding the phone to his ear. He saw the fear and anger in Burt's eyes and steeled himself to do whatever Burt needed him to do to get through this mess.

In the meantime, he tried to make sense out of everything they'd just learned, but try as he might, he couldn't for the life of him figure out who would want to harm Kurt Hummel.

* * *

><p>Blaine stood anxiously as the door clicked open and Kurt was wheeled back into the room. He was somewhat relieved to see that Kurt was still asleep, since Burt wasn't back yet, nor had he heard anything from him about when he'd be returning.<p>

Dr. Sparks followed in the room after Kurt and looked around for Burt.

"He's uh, he had to leave for a while, but he'll be back," Blaine stuttered.

"Gotcha," Dr. Sparks answered. "Well, Mr. Hummel left permission at the nurse's station to talk to you if he wasn't back in time, so I can tell you that he did fine in surgery. It took a little longer than anticipated, but with physical therapy he should regain full use of his left foot. Also, he has a bit more bruising from the incidents overnight, but other than that, he was lucky not to sustain any additional injury. You guys took good care of him."

"Thank you," Blaine breathed a sigh of relief.

"He'll probably be out of it for a while longer and I think that the new sedative and pain killers we've started him on should have the desired affect this time around, but be sure to let us know if they don't."

"I will, Doctor, thank you." Blaine was overwhelmed with gratitude and nodded graciously to the doctor as he exited the room, leaving Blaine alone with a sleeping Kurt. Blaine couldn't help but admire how beautiful Kurt was in his sleep. He loved the way his facial muscles relaxed and the way his mouth was slightly upturned in his sleep. He wanted to crawl in bed next to Kurt, but he knew that it wasn't a good idea for so many reasons. Instead, he settled for letting his imagination wander, thinking about the next time he would be able to snuggle with Kurt, hopefully sooner rather than later.

A few quiet minutes passed before Blaine's phone began to buzz in his pocket. _Finally_, he thought to himself as he saw Burt's name come across the screen.

"Hey, are you on your way back?" Blaine greeted, eager to hear the voice on the other end.

"_Not yet, but I will be soon. Is Kurt back?"_

"Yeah, they just brought him in, Dr. Sparks said everything went well and the x-rays were fine, just a bit of extra bruising."

"_That's good news. Is he awake?"_

"No, he's still knocked out," Blaine was starting to feel uneasy. There was something in Burt's voice that he couldn't quite put his finger on. "Is everything okay with the car?"

"_Not quite, kid. Kurt was right about not hydroplaning. I should have believed him. Someone…listen, Blaine, I don't want you to freak out and if Kurt wakes up before I'm back, I need you to keep this information to yourself, do you think you can do that?"_

"Yes sir," Blaine answered with a fair amount of trepidation.

"_Someone put bleach in the engine oil. I don't know if it was some prank or what, but I'm headed to the police station in Westerville now. I'm going to tell the investigator what I know and then he's going to meet us at the hospital to talk to you and Kurt, okay?"_

"O-okay." Blaine was on autopilot now. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he forced his brain to cooperate.

"_And in the meantime, if you can think of anyone who may have wanted to harm Kurt, or even just play a stupid joke on him, I need you to tell the investigator about it, alright son?"_

"I will."

"_See you soon, and remember not to mention any of this to Kurt just yet."_

Blaine heard the long beep signaling the end of the call and his shaky hand lowered the phone to his lap. There was only one person he could think off who could possibly do this, and if he was capable of almost killing Kurt, what else was he capable of doing to the others who had crossed his path?


	30. Chapter 30

**So I had this chapter 75% written and then the whole thing got erased. Obviously I wasn't happy about this and I think the original version was slightly better, but you know how it goes. Thanks fo r reading as always, and I love the feedback so please keep it coming :)**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 30<p>

Kurt laid there with his eyes closed for several minutes, just taking in his surroundings with his other senses. Someone was stroking his arm lightly and the touch was so reassuring, he didn't want it to stop. When he first woke up, he was confused. He knew he was in bed, but like on so many other occasions, he had no idea how he'd gotten there. For a few moments, he figured that he transitioned and ended up in bed asleep, but that didn't explain why there was someone there with him.

Then it all came crashing back to him. He was in a car accident. He was in the hospital and for some strange reason, his left leg was tied down to the bed in several places and his ankle and foot were encased in a cast or brace of some sort. He noticed how there was a dull pain whenever he inhaled and exhaled, and his limbs felt like they were set in concrete. Not to mention that his head felt like the size of a blimp.

Eventually, and with a fair dose of regret, Kurt figured he better open his eyes and let whoever was there with him know he was awake. He slowly squinted his eyes open, immediately wishing that the room wasn't so bright.

"Kurt." He recognized the voice as Blaine's and turned his head slowly in the direction it came from. He smiled slightly as he made eye contact with Blaine, thankful that it had been him sitting there with him, stroking his arm.

"Hey," Kurt answered, voice slightly gravelly with sleep.

"How do you feel?" Blaine asked.

"Okay, I guess," Kurt said, trying to sit up a bit. It hurt, but Blaine silently helped him lift the bed a bit and slid a pillow behind his back for extra support. "Why is my leg tied down?"

"Do you remember what happened last night?" Blaine asked tentatively after a few seconds.

"Oh, God," Kurt groaned, his fears about his transitions always at the forefront of his mind. "Who did what?"

"It was nothing too bad," Blaine reassured quickly. "You transitioned a few times and Conrad kept trying to get out of bed, that's all."

"That's all?" Kurt joked, playfully mocking Blaine's attempts at downplaying the situation. Whatever happened, it obviously caused Blaine not to sleep at all, if the bags under his eyes were any indication.

"So what's the damage?" Kurt asked after a visual assessment of the form of his body under the drape of the hospital blanket.

"You have a moderate concussion, several broken and bruised ribs, a fractured collarbone, your left ankle was shattered, which you had surgery on this morning, a-and then your hands."

Kurt looked down at the state of his hands, particularly his right one and winced. They looked awful and when he applied soft pressure with his fingertips, it sent shockwaves of pain all the way through to his palms. He wanted to ask Blaine what happened to them, but the look on Blaine's face told him he wasn't ready to talk about it.

"What about my car?" Kurt wasn't sure he wanted to know and the look on Blaine's face confirmed that for him.

"I think it's safe to say it's totaled," Blaine answered, delivering the news as softly as possible.

_Great,_ Kurt thought to himself._ If I was feeling caged in at home before this, there's no way Dad's going to let me-_

"Where's my dad?" Kurt asked, interrupting his own thoughts. "Don't tell me I've been in a coma for ten years and everyone's moved on with their lives."

Blaine laughed at the goofy Kurt-esque smile that graced his boyfriend's lips for the first time since before his accident the day before.

"Your dad should be here within the hour," he explained. "And do I look ten years older? Not to mention that I'm still in my Warbler's uniform."

"Good point," Kurt conceded.

"It's only Monday around noon," Blaine continued, answering Kurt's unspoken question. "Your accident was yesterday."

"Well that's twenty hours of my life I'll never get back," Kurt joked. "I might as well-"

"Kurt," Blaine interrupted, suddenly serious. "I'm really glad you're okay. When Burt called me and told me, I thought...and I don't think I could take it if something happened, if you were-"

"Hey, it's okay, I'm fine," Kurt cut him off softly, quickly adopting the comforter role for Blaine, who was blinking tears away at a rapid pace. It killed him to see Blaine like this and to know it was on his behalf. He tucked his hand carefully in Blaine's making sure to avoid contact on his fingertips.

"I know, I'm just really happy," Blaine said, giving a watery smile.

The boys sat in comfortable silence for a long while after that. Blaine had so many questions he wanted to ask Kurt about what he remembered from the accident and afterwards, but he wasn't about to break the promise he made to Burt just to satisfy his own curiosity. Kurt didn't seem to mind the quiet and before too long, his eyelids begin to droop.

"I'm kinda sleepy," he mumbled. Blaine contemplated him, enjoying the slight adorableness of Kurt fighting off sleep.

"Go to sleep, baby," Blaine answered. "I'll wake you up when your dad gets here."

"Promise?"

"I promise," he vowed. "Sleep well, love."

Before the words were completely out of his mouth, Kurt was out, chest rising and falling rhythmically. Blaine breathed a sigh of contended relief at the sight of a sleeping Kurt, looking just as peaceful now as he had a little while prior. It seemed the new medications were working like a charm.

Almost a half hour had past when Blaine heard the soft click of the door opening. He looked up to see Burt peering in. Burt glanced at the bed and noticing that Kurt was asleep, motioned to Blaine to come out into the hallway with him. Blaine cast a long glance at Kurt before getting up and leaving the room. He closed the door softly before turning around to face Burt and the police officer standing next to him.

"How is he?" Burt asked, looking completely exhausted. If it was possible, Burt looked about twenty years older than he had when he left in a rush that morning.

"He's good, really good," Blaine answered quickly. "He was awake and we talked for a while before he fell back asleep about a half hour ago. He didn't seem to be in too much pain."

"Good," Burt answered, seeming somewhat relieved. "Blaine, this is Detective Morgan, Detective Morgan, Blaine Anderson, Kurt's boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you, son," Detective Morgan stuck his hand out. Blaine shook it, hoping that the officer didn't notice the slight tremble in his grip.

"Nice to meet you, sir," he responded.

"I just have a few questions for you about yesterday," Detective Morgan explained.

"Yeah sure, no problem," Blaine answered, nodding vigorously, words coming out a mile a minute.

"Blaine, it's nothing to be nervous about, he just needs to try to figure out what happened yesterday and who may have wanted to mess with Kurt," Burt spoke, trying to calm Blaine down. Despite his best efforts, both the officer and Burt could tell that Blaine was completely freaked out.

"Yeah, no, I know," Blaine stuttered. He hung his head and took in a few deep breaths, trying to center himself before speaking again. "It's just been a long twenty four hours, not knowing if Kurt was going to be okay, and then with...with all this about the car, it's just a lot to take in."

"I know kid," Burt reassured, placing a heavy hand on Blaine's shoulder and squeezing lightly. "I think that after this it would probably be a good idea for you to go home and get some rest. God knows you didn't get any last night."

"No," Blaine barked, a little too loudly and forcefully. "I mean, no, I'd really like to stay if that's okay. I-I'm not ready to leave Kurt yet."

Burt contemplated him for a moment. "Okay son, but you at least need some clean clothes. That suit can't be comfortable."

"A couple of friends from Dalton are bring me some fresh clothes and my homework after class today," Blaine explained, thankful for the text message he'd received only a few minutes earlier from Nick.

Burt nodded. "Alright then, why don't you go with Detective Morgan and I'll go sit with Kurt."

"Okay," Blaine agreed, getting ready to follow the detective down the hall. "I promised Kurt that I'd wake him when you got here, so..."

"I'll wake him," Burt assured, understanding the underlying question in Blaine's words. He waited until the two of them were down the hall and rounding a corner before opening the door again softly and making his way into the room to be with his son.

He thought about waiting a few minutes, letting Kurt rest for a little while longer, but he remembered the promise Blaine made to Kurt about waking him and he didn't want to mess that up. He walked over to the bed and brushed the hair off of Kurt's forehead lightly.

"Kurt, son?" he spoke softly, not wanting to startle him. "It's dad, will you wake up?"

Despite the soft touch and softer words, Kurt jolted awake.

"Dad?" Despite Burt's best attempts at remaining composed, his every defense melted away the moment he heard his name from Kurt's lips. That one word was packed with so much emotion that Burt had to wait a few moments to answer.

"I'm here, son," he finally answered in an uneven voice. "How are you feeling, kiddo?"

"I'm sorry, Dad," he said, not answering the question. It broke his heart even more this time around when he apologized, since Burt knew for sure that he hadn't done a single thing wrong to cause the accident.

"Kurt, why are you apologizing?"

"Your heart, I-"

"Kurt, listen to me," Burt began, wanting desperately to squeeze his son tightly against him, but knowing that he couldn't. "You have absolutely nothing, _nothing_ to apologize for. I'm fine and you're going to be fine too, and that's all that matters, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt answered. He wanted to say more on the subject, but he didn't want to upset his Dad any more than he already was. "Dad, I want you to know that I was being careful, I didn't hydroplane. I mean, I think I did, but there was something before that, something happened with the engine."

"I know," Burt answered. He wasn't sure if he was ready to talk to Kurt about this, and he certainly wasn't sure if he was he was even supposed to talk about all this with Kurt before Detective Morgan had an opportunity to talk to him. Morgan seemed to be taking the case very seriously, after seeing the pictures that Burt had taken of the engine with his digital camera. He'd even called to have the vehicle towed to the police station to be tagged for evidence. He told Burt that there appeared to be enough evidence to charge someone if they could figure out who that someone was.

"I need to tell you something and I'm going to need you to be brave about it," Burt finally continued. "Do you think you can do that?"

"Sure, Dad," Kurt answered, having no idea if he could keep that promise.

"I think someone tampered with your engine yesterday," he explained slowly, scanning his son's face for a reaction. "I've talked to the police and they agree with me. I brought the detective assigned to the case with me to the hospital and he's going to need to talk to you in a few minutes."

"Okay," Kurt answered, sounding very small to Burt. "Does Blaine know? About your theory, I mean?"

Burt breathed an inward sigh of relief before answering. He knew that Blaine was as trustworthy as a teenager could be, but it made him feel much better that he'd been able to keep from drilling Kurt about all this when he woke earlier.

"He does," Burt assured. "He's actually talking to the detective right now, and then it'll be your turn."

"I think I may know who it was," Kurt said after a few moments. Burt fought hard against the desire to ask him who it was so he could leave and go kill that person.

"Don't tell me yet, okay? Wait and tell Detective Morgan. I want to make sure we don't mess this up."

"Okay," Kurt agreed. The two sat silently for a few minutes.

"I love you, Dad," Kurt's voice startled Burt out of his thoughts.

"I love you too, son, more than you'll ever know," Burt answered, fighting off tears for what seemed like the hundredth time since the day before. "And I am so proud of you."

The moment was interrupted by the sound of the door opening again. Blaine shuffled back in, Detective Morgan behind him. Blaine looked a little more settled than he had when he left, which Burt interpreted as a good sign.

"Kurt, this is Detective Morgan," Burt said, standing up. Morgan gave Kurt a wave and a small smile.

"It's good to meet you Kurt, and I'm glad you're alright after the day you had yesterday."

"Thank you sir, me too," Kurt answered nervously. He could feel his heart pounding hard against his chest and he had to work hard to keep his breathing even. It was painful enough as it was to just breathe normally.

"If you two don't mind, I'll need to speak to Kurt in private for a while," Detective Morgan addressed Burt and Blaine both, but kept his gaze trained on Burt.

"I understand," Burt answered. "Blaine, why don't you and I go grab some lunch. That egg white thing you got me didn't quite do it for me this morning."

Burt didn't miss the look that passed between his son and Blaine. Burt could almost read "you remembered our vows," in his son's expression and he had to stifle a laugh. He shook his head, unable to grasp how two teenagers could have such a strong connection.

"Sounds good," Blaine answered. "We'll be back soon, Kurt."

"Okay," Kurt tried to sound confident, but all he wanted was for Burt and Blaine to stay in the room with him. He understood why they couldn't, but that didn't change how he felt. He watched helplessly as the two of them exited the room.

"Okay, so I'm not sure how much your dad explained to you," Detective Morgan started. "But let me begin by asking you what you remember from yesterday."

"Well, where do I start? I went to Westerville Mall to watch Blaine and my old glee club perform. It was kind of raining when I left, but not too bad. It got worse as I began driving and I was about to pull off to ride out the storm a bit when I noticed something was wrong under the hood."

"What do you mean?"

"There was this noise, I can't really remember what it was, but I remember there being a noise. Then I looked up and there was smoke coming out from the hood and...I guess that's all I remember. I remember waking up for a minute or two here in the hospital last night, but then nothing until a little while ago when I woke up."

"That's good, Kurt, more than I was expecting anyway with your, uh, your head thing." Kurt smirked at the young-ish detective. He sure had a way with words.

"I need to ask you," Morgan continued. "Is there anyone that you think might have wanted to play a prank on you? You said you were with your friends from your old school, do you think any of your friends would have done something as a joke, not knowing how serious things would get?"

"No," Kurt answered forcefully. "None of my friends would do something like this. Sure, there's a fair amount of pranking that goes on at an all-boys boarding school, but none of them would do anything like this. There is someone who I think may have done this though. We've been having trouble with him for a couple of weeks. I...I wouldn't think that it would go this far, and I'd feel really bad if I was wrong-"

"Don't worry about that, Kurt," Morgan cut him off, reassuring him. "That's my job to look at leads and figure out if they are valid or not. What's this guy's name?"

Kurt drew in a deep breath. Even though he was the only person Kurt could imagine would do this, he still didn't want to think that anyone would try to hurt him intentionally. This was so out of control and Kurt feared that it was only going to get worse.

"Sebastian Smythe."


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Thanks everyone for all the reviews and story alerts and welcome to everyone who's found this story in the last few days. I hate that was having problems for the last few days, but since my last update was right before it went all funky, my story ended up being near the top for over a day, so I can't complain too much :)**

**Also, I want to take a second to thank those of you who've told me that you appreciate the accuracy of my story. I try very hard to portray Kurt's illness and the criminal justice system as accurately as possible, even if it means the story has to take a different path than I originally intended. Also, thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who's complimented me on my writing style. Y'all are so encouraging!**

_**Tl;dr: you guys are awesome.**_

**Okay, enough mushy stuff. This chapter is all about Angry Burt (now I'm picturing Burt as an Angry Bird...), so get ready.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 31<p>

"The point is, Blaine, you should have told me this was all going on."

"I realize that and I'm sorry, but I just didn't think-"

"That's right, you didn't think and now my son is in the hospital and could have been killed!"

Blaine could feel his face heating up. He felt so stupid that he hadn't told Burt about everything that had been going on with Sebastian. So much had happened in the last day that he was having a hard time recalling the events from earlier that week and before that, back to when all this drama started.

"May I say something?" he asked, somewhat meekly but with a twinge of anger. Burt Hummel sat across from him at the deli they'd come to for lunch while Kurt talked to Detective Morgan. They'd already finished eating and had begun discussing what Blaine told Morgan during his interview when the bottom fell out. Burt's arms were crossed and his eyes bore holes into Blaine as Blaine tried his best to remain composed and not intimidated.

"Go for it," Burt answered immediately. "I'd love to hear what you have to say."

"First of all, I want to say again that I'm sorry for not telling you," Blaine started, pushing his nerves back as much as possible. "I think I've made it pretty clear to you that I love Kurt and would never, ever intentionally do something to put him in harm's way. I resent the implication that I would."

"Go on," Burt said after Blaine paused to give him a chance to respond.

"Second, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but Kurt has been feeling pretty out of control lately and for good reason. The whole thing with Sebastian stripped him of that last bit of pride that he thought he had a handle on-his privacy. I encouraged Kurt to tell you about it, but ultimately he decided not to and I respected that. If I thought for one _single_ second that anything like this would have happened, I would have told you, the police and anyone else who would listen what was going on. You know, if you want someone to be mad at, why don't you talk to Dean Parker at Dalton? He knew about it and gave Sebastian a slap on the wrist for bullying another student."

Burt listened carefully to the boy sitting across from him. If possible, Blaine appeared more angry and upset than even he was, and he knew that he'd been out of line with putting all that responsibility on Blaine. How many times did he have to remind himself that these boys were just that-boys. They weren't adults yet, and while most of the time they acted well above their age, sometimes they didn't and making Blaine feel responsible for responding in the same way that any other teenager would was unfair.

Blaine was visibly shaking. He wanted nothing more than to stand up and stalk out of the deli, but at the same time, he refused to back down. Maybe on another issue, maybe with someone else, but not on this. Not when it involved Kurt and not when it was being implied that he didn't care.

"Okay," Burt finally answered. "Let's start this over. I apologize for making it seem like I didn't think you care about my son."

Blaine nodded, but the anger didn't leave his face.

"Obviously you care about Kurt, but I need you to try to see this from my point of view. No matter how old he gets or how grown up he likes to think he is, he is still my son. I will fight to the death to protect him. I don't know that I could have done anything to stop this Sebastian kid if I'd known about what was going on. Hell, we don't even know if it was him who-"

"It was him," Blaine interrupted.

"Assuming it was him," Burt started again, "I have to believe that this whole situation could have been avoided. Now that it has happened, however, and by some miracle Kurt is going to be fine, I need to do everything I can to make sure nothing like this happens ever again. And I need your help to do that."

Blaine's features softened just a bit. He was still angry, but he had a feeling that this conversation was beginning to go in a better direction.

"From this point forward, if there is anything at all that you think is potentially dangerous, I need you to tell me about it, even if Kurt won't. Can we agree to that?"

Blaine thought about it for a minute. He still didn't like the idea of taking that measure of control away from Kurt, but he understood now why he'd have to if necessary.

"Yes sir," he answered.

"Okay then," Burt nodded, both of them slightly more relaxed than before. He looked at his watch.

"Morgan should probably be done with Kurt by now, I'd think," he said, getting to his feet and collecting the tray in front of him. Blaine did the same. "Let's get out of here."

Blaine didn't answer. He was relieved that they seemed to be on good terms again, but he still couldn't help feeling slightly shamed and guilty about the whole thing. He was kicking himself inside, even though he knew it was pointless to beat himself up over it now. He followed Burt out of the deli, hanging his head slightly and just wishing with everything inside of him that he could go back and relive the last few weeks differently.

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><p>It was Thursday, and Kurt was finally being released from the hospital. He'd managed to have several good days in a row with no transitions during the rest of his hospital stay, and his injuries were healing normally. It had been a long few days for everyone, especially for Burt, it seemed. When he wasn't tending to Kurt, he was on the phone to anyone he could think to call-Detective Morgan, Dalton Academy, Dr. Simmons. In addition to the whole car accident situation, he still had to deal with Richard, the private investigator dealing with the task of finding Mark.<p>

It didn't matter how many phone calls he made, though. No progress seemed to be occurring on any front. Richard still wasn't getting any good leads on finding Mark, Dr. Simmons wanted to see Kurt when he was released, but couldn't give a straight answer about what may have been the cause of all his transitions during the first night of his hospital stay, other that it was more than likely trauma-induced. Burt rolled his eyes at that. Obviously it was trauma-induced, but that didn't explain why his alters behaved in a manner they never had before. Or why the transitions were so rapid and intense.

Dean Parker at Dalton didn't want to take any responsibility for what happened, not that Burt expected him to. He wouldn't even discuss the meeting he'd apparently had with Blaine, Kurt and one other student the Monday before Kurt's accident other than to say that two students were punished with suspensions as was called for by the Dalton disciplinary guidelines.

The most frustrating, however, had been his dealings with Morgan. Burt had hoped that once he'd gotten the same lead from both Blaine and Kurt after separate, independent interviews, he would be able to go arrest this Sebastian Smythe on suspicion that he'd tampered with Kurt's engine oil. Apparently it wasn't that simple.

"Mr. Hummel, believe me when I say that I understand your frustrations-"

"I'm not sure you do, Detective," Burt had answered angrily over the phone on Wednesday morning. "You see, my child could have been killed and the kid who's responsible for it is out there walking around."

"It's not that simple," Detective Morgan explained as patiently as possible. "First, we don't know for sure that Sebastian Smythe is the responsible party. Do I believe he is a viable suspect based on my interviews with the boys? Absolutely, and I'm doing everything in my power to follow that lead."

"Oh yeah?" Burt answered skeptically. "What exactly are you doing, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well, I've asked the Westerville Mall security to pull the surveillance tapes from both the food court and the parking lot where Kurt's car was parked. I've also called Sebastian and set up an interview with him for tomorrow afternoon."

Burt felt slightly better, but he knew he wouldn't rest until this kid, or whoever was responsible, was off the streets.

"I will call you tomorrow afternoon once the interview has been completed to let you know if there's enough to move forward."

"And if there isn't?"

"Then I'll need to keep working on the other information I've got." Morgan could hear the labored sigh on the other end of the phone. "Mr. Hummel, believe me when I say that I am putting everything I have into this case. I don't do anything halfway, especially not when it comes to the cases I work."

Burt could do nothing but trust that Morgan was being honest with him. The situation was out of his hands and, as Carole told him over and over since Monday, he needed to let the system work. He just hoped that it _did_ work for his son.

Now a day later, as Burt was pulling into the driveway with Kurt, Finn and Carole in tow, his phone began to ring. He put the car into park and pulled the phone out from his pocket. The caller ID announced that it was an incoming call from the Westerville Police Department.

"It's Morgan," Burt announced to the car. He could hear Kurt's sharp intake of breath and noticed the wince it caused with his ribs still injured.

"Take it, honey," Carole spoke from the passenger's seat. "Finn and I can get Kurt inside."

Burt nodded. Finn was strong and Carole was a nurse, so there was no doubt in his mind that the two of them were perfectly capable. Kurt was restricted to a wheelchair for at least six weeks due to the combination of his broken ankle and collarbone making it impossible to use crutches.

Burt stepped out of the car and answered the phone as he walked away toward the side of the house.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Mr. Hummel, this is Detective Morgan," Burt could tell by his tone that he didn't have good news.

"I take it you have some bad news for me?" Burt guessed.

"Smythe lawyered up," Morgan answered, hearing the groan from Burt.

"So what does that mean exactly?"

"It means that he didn't come in for his interview, so we are going to have to explore other avenues."

"I don't understand, can't you make him come in?" Burt asked, obviously exasperated.

"Unfortunately not," Morgan explained. "When I called him to make sure he was still planning on coming to the station this afternoon, he informed me he wouldn't be there and referred me to his lawyer. When I called the lawyer, he stated that his client would not be talking to me or anyone else in my office without an arrest."

"How can he do that and get away with it? How is that justice?" Burt knew his voice was rising and the only thing that kept him from shouting with everything he had into the phone was that he didn't want Kurt to hear.

"To be completely honest with you, the system protects alleged criminals more than it protects victims at times. But again, I'm working on it Mr. Hummel. I should have the tapes from the mall security by tomorrow and if there's a clear shot of Smythe going anywhere near your sons car, it'll be enough for me to take out warrants. My options will be vastly improved at that point."

For the millionth time that week, Burt was feeling completely helpless. He didn't even know how to respond. Morgan seemed to still have a positive spin on the whole thing, but who knew how much of that was just to appease an angry father?

"If I can make a suggestion," Morgan continued carefully after receiving silence from Burt on the other end. "I wouldn't tell Kurt about any of this. Tell him that I'm still going over everything I have and that we should know something by tomorrow."

Burt chuckled humorlessly. This guy obviously didn't know his son.

"I'm not sure that'll work, but I'll do the best I can," he answered. "Is there anything I can do in the meantime to help your case?"

"Just keep your eyes and ears open," Morgan advised. "Don't go looking for trouble, that's my job, but if Kurt remembers anything else from Sunday, or if you think of anything that might be important give me a call. If not, expect a call from me about this time tomorrow if not earlier."

After exchanging a few more words, Burt ended the call and paced around the side of the house for a few minutes, trying to figure out exactly what he was going to tell his son about all this. Not to mention Blaine, who had to go back to school with the monster earlier that day.

He finally steeled himself to go back inside, dreading the conversation that was about to take place.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: This one is a tad short, but if all goes as planned, I should be updating again tomorrow. Thanks for the feedback :)**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 32<p>

He watched as the never-ending feeling of dread he'd been experiencing since Monday afternoon escalated with the arrival of Headmaster Walker's assistant entered his fifth period Biology classroom. The assistant whispered something to Mrs. Huckabee, who responded with a simple, indiscernible nod. When both of their gazes landed on him, he knew this was it.

"Mr. Smythe," Mrs. Huckabee announced. "You're wanted in Headmaster Walker's office. Take your belongings."

Heads turned to the back of the room where Sebastian sat. He didn't move for a moment, but after a second prompting from his teacher, he reluctantly gathered his belongings and followed the headmaster's assistant out of the room, trying to focus on not passing out or tripping on shaky legs.

"What's this about?" Sebastian asked, as innocently as he could muster on the short walk to the administrative building. The assistant didn't answer. That was a bad sign.

When they finally reached the office, Sebastian could see through the frosted privacy glass windows leading into the headmaster's chambers several figures standing around the desk. Through the open door, Headmaster Walker sat at his desk, beckoning Sebastian in when he came into sight.

"Come in, Mr. Smythe," he spoke, voice clear, stern, and with a hint of regret. "I want you to know that I've already placed a call to your parents. Your father is flying in this evening."

"Why?" Sebastian asked, the panic within him rising at a rapid pace. "What's going on?"

"Sebastian," a deep voice piped in from behind him. "My name is Detective Andrew Morgan and I'm placing you under arrest for burglary, criminal trespass, criminal damage in the first degree and aggravated assault for actions committed against Kurt Hummel on September eighteenth. I am bound to inform you of your rights under Miranda versus the State of Arizona. You have the right…"

Sebastian blanked out as he was placed in handcuffs by the detective and led with he and another officer at each elbow out of the office and to a waiting police car in the administrative building's parking lot. He was aware that Detective Morgan continued to explain his rights to him, but beyond that, he had no idea what was being said. He absentmindedly felt gratitude about the fact that while the administration building was in the center of campus, in full view of the semi-circle of academic buildings that surrounded it, the view to the parking lot was somewhat obstructed by a thick layer of trees on either side. At least he didn't have to worry about faces in windows watching him leave in police custody and wondering why.

"Mr. Smythe?"

He was sitting in the back of the car now, and Sebastian snapped back his attention to the face in the rearview mirror.

"Yes sir?"

"I asked you if you understood your rights as I've explained them to you," Morgan repeated.

"Um, yes sir," Sebastian answered, even though he had no idea what had been said in the last several minutes. "A-and I want to t-talk to my lawyer."

"Alright," Detective Morgan sighed, already knowing his answer before it was spoken. "We're headed to the jail then."

As tough and nonchalant as Sebastian liked to think he was, he couldn't help the tears that slid down his face, nor, with his hands cuffed behind his back could he do anything about them. He was terrified at how out of control everything was. And if it was one thing Sebastian Smythe couldn't handle, it was losing control.

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><p>"Kurt?" Burt knocked softly on the framed doorway to the living room. "Can I come in?"<p>

Kurt tried not to roll his eyes. They'd transformed the living room into his bedroom for at least the next month, since transferring him up and down stairs several times a day wasn't practical.

"Dad, you don't have to knock to come into the living room," Kurt answered with a smile. "But I appreciate you trying to make me feel like I have some semblance of privacy."

"I just got off of the phone with Detective Morgan," Burt said slowly, trying to keep his tone even. Kurt had managed to have a pretty good day at home since arriving the afternoon before and he didn't want to mess that up in any way.

"What did he say?" Kurt asked tentatively. He'd been on edge with the whole police involvement from the beginning. As much as the evidence screamed otherwise, Kurt had a hard time believing that anyone, even Sebastian, would intentionally try to cause him harm.

"Well, they reviewed the security tapes from the mall," Burt began, sitting down at the end of the couch where Kurt lay. "There's clear shots of someone who apparently looks a lot like this Sebastian guy leaving the mall food court and coming back several minutes later."

"Dad, anyone could have told them that," Kurt said, slightly exasperated. "He left his tie in his car before the performance and had to go back to get it."

"Let me finish," Burt explained. "There's also video of him going to your car. Unfortunately, the way the camera is angled, there isn't a clear shot of your car or what he did to it. The back bumper is in the shot but that's about it."

"So what you're telling me is that there's no direct evidence." Kurt spoke with a measured calm, one he'd been practicing for several weeks since he realized that he was too quick to fly off the handle.

"No, there's no tape of him doing anything to your car." Burt had to admire the restraint that Kurt was showing, even with the stifled groan that escaped his lips when he told him about the tape.

"There was enough to arrest him though." Burt hated delivering every little bit of the story to Kurt in this fashion, but he desperately wanted to avoid sending his son over the edge, so the compromise was to explain each bit slowly, wait for Kurt to digest it, and continue on.

"Th-they did? They arrested him? When? What—"

"Kurt, calm down," Burt said, placing a hand on Kurt's left shin, almost as an anchor. "They went to Dalton and picked him up about an hour ago on several different charges. Morgan's already warned me that some of them might not stick and on the other side of the coin, the district attorney may add charges depending on what other evidence is found."

"So what happens next?" Kurt asked breathlessly. Tears were already stinging his eyes. As angry as he was at Sebastian for possibly putting him in this situation, he couldn't help the sympathy he felt for the other boy sitting in jail.

"Well, he'll be in jail at least until Monday morning," Burt explained. "He'll have a bond hearing then, and hopefully the judge will deny bond. In the meantime, Morgan is going to draw up search warrants so that he can search Sebastian's car and dorm room. He said it'll be a little trickier to get access to his computer and cell phone, but he's going to work on it over the weekend."

"I don't…I can't…" Kurt mumbled incoherently for a moment. It scared Burt who shifted closer so he could place a soft palm on his son's face, cupping his cheek and chin.

"Kurt? Talk to me buddy, what's going on?" The spaced out look on his son's face frightened Burt.

"I need a break," Kurt finally answered in a whisper. "I can't deal with this right now, I need a break."

"Okay, that's fine," Burt said quickly. This was a first for Kurt, and despite how anxious he felt, Burt was bowled over by the fact that usually by now, in a stressful situation and without the aid of his DID medication, Kurt would have transitioned. Although he looked horrible, Kurt was still Kurt and that was beyond encouraging to Burt.

"School will be out in thirty minutes at Dalton," Burt continued, stroking his thumb over his son's cheek like he used to do when Kurt was little. "Do you want me to see if Blaine wants to come over? Maybe spend the night?"

Kurt nodded wordlessly, tears clouding his vision again. All he wanted was for the last few weeks to have never happened. All he wanted was to be normal and uninjured. And really all he wanted was for no one to be in police custody on his behalf. Even though he knew it was completely unfounded, the guilt he was experiencing raged within him.

"Why don't you try to take a little nap?" Burt suggested, seeing the emotions that played in Kurt's features. "Then by the time you wake up, hopefully Blaine will be here and I might enlist him to make that awesome lasagna again."

Burt was hoping for a laugh from his son, but settled for the slight nod and fluttering eyelids he got instead as Kurt settled into the couch a little deeper. Burt was shifting to get up from the couch when Kurt's small voice stopped him.

"Dad? Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

Burt sat back down and resumed stroking Kurt's cheek.

"Of course, kiddo. I'm right here."

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks for reading.<strong>


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Trigger warning: this chapter contains some parental homophobia.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 33<p>

"Hi, this is Kurt again," he began speaking awkwardly, looking directly into the camera on his laptop. "It's been a while since my last video entry, I guess a couple of weeks, and a lot has changed since then. As you can see by the lack of fabulous interior design, I'm not in my room recording this. I'm confined to the couch in the living room where I've been for almost a week now since getting home from the hospital.

"It's a long, complicated story that I really don't feel like rehashing right now, but suffice it to say that things around here are pretty tense. I guess I have to give a little background to get back to what's going on in the present, so here it goes.

"A couple of weeks ago I was in a bad car accident that left me with all kinds of injuries, hence the prison couch, as I like to call it. I'm hoping that in a week or two, my ankle will be strong enough for me to hobble upstairs to my room. It's not that I don't appreciate my family giving up their gathering space for my benefit. After all, I do have complete and total control over the best television in the house, it's just that I'm ready to have some privacy back, you know?

"Where was I? Oh yeah, the accident. So anyway, it turns out that someone tampered with my engine while I was in Westerville watching the Warblers perform, and all signs point to that person being one Sebastian Smythe. I have my doubts because, as my dad so lovingly puts it, I'm naïve and too trusting that people are basically good and I can't understand why someone would intentionally do this to another person.

"Nonetheless, Sebastian was arrested last Friday and booked on a myriad of charges, only to be released on bond early Monday morning. Obviously my father nearly had a conniption fit when Detective Morgan called him. My lack of outrage only seemed to make him more upset. Needless to say, he's been on the phone nearly every waking moment, more than likely driving every member of both the Westerville Police Department and the District Attorney's office up the wall in his crusade for justice.

"Earlier this morning, my dad finally got some information that he'd been hoping for, and for some strange reason, I'd been dreading. They found something substantial that points to Sebastian as being the one who messed with my engine. More substantial than the video tapes of him going to my car in the parking lot."

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><p><em>An hour earlier<em>

"A receipt," Burt announced triumphantly after getting off the phone. Kurt, Carole and Finn were all gathered in kitchen eating breakfast before Finn had to head to school. "They found a receipt in his car."

The boys and Carole cast confused glances between one another.

"Okay, not to be a wet blanket, but so what?" Kurt finally answered. "What does that have to do with anything? What does it mean?"

"I'm glad you asked," Burt answered with a flourish of animation, like he'd been waiting for someone to give him that cue so he could continue on. "The receipt is for a single gallon of bleach at the Walmart in Westerville, the day of your accident."

"Alright, I agree that seems fishy—"

"But wait, there's more," Burt interrupted dramatically. Kurt fought hard not to roll his eyes. "They pulled the security tapes from the time of the purchase and Sebastian is clearly shown purchasing the bleach and leaving the store."

Burt's excitement was met with a subdued silence around the table.

"What's the matter, guys? This is great news!" Burt was incredulous that the rest of the family didn't seem as excited as he was about the new development. To him, it was finally some solid evidence that this Sebastian guy was the one responsible for Kurt's accident.

"Honey—"

"What?" Burt cut Carole off, not wanting her to damper the high he was experiencing at the moment. "You guys don't understand how important this is—"

"Burt." Finn spoke up this time, with a touch of warning in his voice. It was then that Burt finally looked over to his son, who sat next to him on his right at the square breakfast table. Kurt's expression was indiscernible, but it was obvious that he was struggling with keeping his composure.

"Kurt," Burt spoke softly. "I thought you'd be happy about this."

"You thought I'd be happy about verification that someone out there hates me enough to do this to me?"

Burt flinched. He hadn't really thought through what news like this might mean for his son, his sweet, compassionate son who tried to find the best in everyone even if it nearly killed him. All of the sudden, Kurt's behavior over the past few weeks was starting to make a lot more sense. Even though it frustrated Burt to no end when Kurt continuously appeared to be coming to the defense of Sebastian, he now understood that the reason behind it was that he didn't want to have to cope with the knowledge that someone would intentionally harm him.

"Kurt, it's not like that—"

"No, Dad!" Kurt shouted, startling everyone at the table. Tears were freely falling down his face now. "It's _exactly_ like that. You know what, it's great _for the case_ that there's evidence that Sebastian wanted to hurt me, but excuse me if I'm not jumping for joy over it."

Normally, Kurt would have hopped up from the table and stalked off dramatically, but since he had only one arm with which to try to maneuver his wheelchair, the exit was definitely lacking.

"Finn, help your brother," Carol instructed quietly. Finn hopped up from his seat and helped Kurt wheel into the living room.

"I, uh, I gotta get to school," Finn fumbled nervously after helping Kurt back on the couch. "Is there anything I can get you before I have to go?"

Kurt's tears had subsided, but he was obviously still fuming. His expression softened a bit at Finn for trying to help in his own Finn way.

"No, but thank you," Kurt said sincerely. "Actually, one thing, will you hand me my laptop?"

Kurt pointed to the laptop plugged into the wall, sitting on the end table on the opposite end of the couch. Finn grabbed it and placed it gingerly in Kurt's lap. Kurt offered a thanks and Finn walked out of the room headed toward the kitchen, presumably to grab his backpack and say goodbye to Burt and Carole.

Kurt closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing. He'd done well over the past week, only transitioning a few times and never for more than an hour at a time. It was like his seclusion and confinement were forcing him to employ the techniques that he'd listened to Dr. Simmons explain over the time he'd been seeing her, but had yet to put into practice. He'd originally dismissed deep breathing exercises, meditation, and critical thinking, but to his surprise, they seemed to be working more often than not.

After about twenty minutes, once he was fairly certain he'd dodged the transition bullet this time, he opened his laptop and turned it on. He decided that a video diary entry was long overdue.

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><p>Sebastian sat quietly in the passenger seat of his father's Mercedes. They were driving to his defense attorney's office for the third time that week. Barry Stanwick, the best lawyer money could buy, called Mr. Smythe that morning with some disturbing news. They'd found the receipt from when Sebastian bought bleach the morning of the accident and apparently the surveillance video from the store backed it up as well.<p>

"You're in some deep shit, Sebastian," his father told him angrily after they got into the car that morning. "I don't know how we're going to explain this away."

Sebastian remained quiet out of fear. This whole thing was snowballing so rapidly, he didn't know how to handle it. He liked to talk a big game, and sure, he had no qualms in the past with stealing boyfriends or solos or cheating his way to the top, but he'd gone too far this time, even he knew that.

"There's nothing to explain away," Sebastian finally answered quietly. His heart was pounding in his ears. Until this point, he'd remained quietly defensive about the whole incident. Now he was just tired of it all. It needed to stop.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Mr. Smythe answered, tearing his eyes from the road.

"It means there isn't any excuse except for what really happened," Sebastian explained, his fear being replaced by the lightness of finally unloading the truth.

"I did it," he continued. "I poured bleach in the engine oil. I was mad at him for embarrassing me and I wanted revenge. I-I just thought it would fry the engine, I had no idea it would—"

Sebastian was cut off by his father swerving violently to the side of the road and slamming on his brakes. He reached over and grabbed Sebastian by the collar. Sebastian hated his involuntary flinch and the way that he couldn't bring himself to look his father straight in the eyes.

"You listen to me very carefully, because this is the first, only and last time that this conversation will ever take place," his father instructed slowly and menacingly. "You will go into that office, and you will tell Barry that you needed the bleach for laundry. It's circumstantial at best and no jury in their right minds would convict on it."

"But Dad—"

"No buts, Sebastian," he continued, tightening the grip on his son's collar. "You're eighteen years old, do you know what that means? It means you're an adult facing adult charges. You have the potential to spend the next several decades of your life in prison. Is it really worth it to throw your life away over some stupid queer?"

Sebastian felt the bile rising in his throat. He'd come out to his parents two years prior and the venom with which his father spewed his homophobic slurs had only intensified since then. The Smythes didn't air their dirty laundry and they certainly didn't discuss Sebastian's homosexuality after he confessed it. Mr. Smythe did, however, make he's feelings known on the subject on quite a regular basis.

Sebastian hated himself for shaking his head 'no' to his father's question. Of course he didn't want to go to prison, but he had also come to terms over the past few weeks that he had done a terrible thing, even if it wasn't supposed to cause Kurt any physical harm. For the first time in his life, Sebastian was feeling guilt, and it was tearing him apart. The only thing that offered him any relief was the thought of taking responsibility and punishment for the whole thing.

But now, with his father staring him down and with his unspoken threats, Sebastian was feeling more troubled than ever, and the hole that he was in seemed to deepen by the second.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Hey everyone! So this chapter is kind of short and uneventful, but there is a reason for that. Up to this point, I've been writing chapter by chapter with no real outline, just kind of going where the story takes me, but I'm at the point now where I'm going to have to start bringing everything together, otherwise it's just going to get way out of control. So, that being said, I'm going to have to take some time to plan everything out, meaning updates might not be as frequent as they have been. **

**I also am taking into consideration that a few of you have mentioned wanting to see a lawyer alter for Kurt. I love that idea, and I'm going to do what I can to incorporate it, if it looks like it'll be good for the overall direction of the story. I also have at least one more alter on the back burner that will more than likely show up pretty soon. Just remember that things usually get better before they get worse and that will definitely be the case for Kurt, unfortunately.**

**Anyway, that was way too long, but I wanted to let y'all know what's going on and where I am in the process. You are fantastic and I love your reviews so keep them coming pretty please.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 34<p>

Sebastian walked down the hall of the Math and Science building to the static sound of dead silence ringing in his ears. He tried to look straight ahead, blocking out the faces staring him down on either side of the hall. His height was proving handy, since he was a good six inches taller than everyone else, he was able to look over everyone's heads, giving the appearance of confidence. Really though, deep in his heart, he was just as scared and lonely as he had been cocky and confident a month prior.

A week after he bonded out from the Westerville Jail, he was back at Dalton, to the outrage of students, parents and teachers alike. His weekend at the jail had been absolutely terrifying. He was way out of his league and the hardened criminals he was surrounded by knew it and preyed on it. Thankfully, he'd avoided any physical confrontations, but the cost was forgoing his meals except for a slice of bread or mushy apple here or there, and he stayed holed up in his shared cell, not taking advantage of the hour of outside time each day.

When his dad came to pay his bond on Monday morning, he'd never been so happy to see someone in his entire life. The joy was short lived, however. Driving straight from the jail to Barry Stanwick's office, Mr. Smythe insisted firmly that he didn't want to know any details about what happened or if Sebastian was or was not responsible for what happened to Kurt. Instead, he instructed that regardless of the truth, he was to deny any involvement. Barry Stanwick was the best lawyer in the tri-county area and as long as Sebastian denied any involvement, Stanwick could build doubt in any juror's mind. It was his specialty.

That entire week was spent meeting with different people. Mostly with Stanwick, but toward the end of the week, Sebastian was spending a lot of time with his father in the headmaster's office at Dalton. It had taken a lot of push, intimidation and monetary incentive on Mr. Smythe's part, but finally the headmaster relented and Sebastian was allowed to continue with classes with some very strict boundaries.

First, he would not be allowed back in the dorms. Since several incidents had already occurred in the confines of his own dorm room, the headmaster deemed that it would be too risky to allow him to return there, both for the safety of other boarders and for his own as well. The headmaster stressed several times during their negotiations that Sebastian would be facing quite a backlash from the other students, the Warblers in particular. Kurt Hummell was a well-loved, respected member of the school and of the glee club, even if for just a few months, and the student body's loyalty to him far outweighed anything they felt for the new transfer student who'd done nothing but cause problems since his arrival six weeks earlier.

Second, he would no longer be permitted to drive to school. This one was obvious, even to Sebastian. It was going to be a pain in the ass, but since Mr. Smythe was going to have to rent an apartment for Sebastian anyway, they decided on one that was within walking distance to the school.

Finally, Sebastian was told that he could no longer participate in the Warblers. At this point, Sebastian wasn't sure he'd go back to them even if he was allowed. If anyone was going to give him hell, it was going to be the tight-knit a cappella group. They didn't even really like him before all the stuff with Kurt happened. Sure, he would miss singing and performing. After all, it was his drive and determination in this aspect of his life, in combination with his lust, that got him in all this trouble in the first place. What had started out as a plan to get more solos and more attention ended up taking a horrible turn for the worse and Sebastian didn't have anyone to blame but himself.

Mr. Smythe thought the terms were harsh, but the headmaster stood firm and eventually they settled. Sebastian was to return the following Monday on strict probationary status, meaning his every move would be monitored and he would be out the door at the first sign of trouble. Mr. Smythe assured that there would be no trouble and Sebastian himself agreed with as much confidence as he could muster under his father's intense and intimidating gaze.

The last condition of his return to school wasn't mandated by the headmaster, rather, it was set down by Barry Stanwick. Sebastian was not, under any circumstance whatsoever, to discuss anything regarding the case with his classmates. After outlining all the things he couldn't talk about, Sebastian was left with the distinct impression that Stanwick was informing him to keep his mouth shut period. Sebastian didn't see that that would be an issue, He couldn't imagine that anyone would want to say two words to him.

As he head to his first class Monday morning, this was confirmed in fact. No one said a word to him, but if looks told him anything, the entire student body wanted him dead, or at least seriously injured. Sebastian was actually surprised when he entered his Organic Chemistry class physically unscathed. He knew all about Dalton's no bullying policy and he surmised that his classmates must just be extraordinarily better at following the rules than he was.

Sliding into his desk near the back of the room, he quietly pulled out his notebook and began looking over his notes. There were a few minutes before class started, and if someone had told him a few weeks ago that he would be using his extra time to study before class, he would have laughed in their face. Now, however, it was the only thing he could think to do. He couldn't talk to anyone, nor did he want to, and going over old notes was far preferable to focusing on what his life was turning into.

* * *

><p>Blaine was fuming. He couldn't believe his eyes at first when he saw Sebastian making his way down the hallway. The taller boy had his head held high in the air, and though Blaine couldn't quite read the expression on his face, he was sure it smugness at being allowed to come back to school after what he did to Kurt.<p>

He thought briefly about confronting the boy, but then remembered what Burt had told both boys after Sebastian had gotten the bond.

"If he could get out on bond on all this," Burt began after sitting both boys down in the living room. "There's a chance he could be back at Dalton. Blaine, it's important that you don't talk to him about this or anything else. I know it'll be hard, but we don't want to risk messing up the case."

Blaine had felt Kurt tense up next to him at his father's mention of the court case, but he hadn't thought to ask why once the conversation was over. Nor did Blaine ever stop to consider that what Burt was saying could possibly turn out to be true. How in the world would Sebastian be allowed to come back to Dalton? It seemed like an impossible scenario to him.

But here he was, Monday morning, watching Sebastian Fucking Smythe walking down the hallway toward the Organic Chem classroom. The one which, unfortunately, he shared with Blaine first thing in the morning. Blaine tapped out a quick text message to Wes, Jeff and Nick about Sebastian's return, knowing the word would travel from there, before ducking into the classroom at the last possible second. He figured it probably wouldn't be a good idea to have idle time in the classroom with Sebastian.

When he walked in, he immediately narrowed in on Sebastian's desk and was somewhat surprised to see the former Warbler hunched over his notebook, almost like he was protecting it, or himself, as he read. Blaine took his own seat, which was mercifully on the other side of the room from Sebastian and pulled out his own notebook.

If he could just make it throughout this day, he would be okay, he decided. After school, he'd already planned to go visit with Kurt, who was finally able to hobble his way upstairs to his own room, something he was very proud of. He decided also that he would call Burt at his lunch break and let him know about Sebastian's return and discuss with him how the topic should be broached with Kurt. They were taking extra precautions with him since the accident, desperate to keep a repeat of that first night at the hospital from reoccurring. Kurt knew that everyone was walking on eggshells around him and he was visibly upset about it, but it definitely beat the alternative in Burt's and Blaine's minds.

With a heavy sigh, Blaine began counting down the hours until he could see Kurt again. Being this close to Sebastian and having it all come at him unexpectedly, he _needed_ to see Kurt, to feel him, to make sure he was still okay and that he wasn't broken beyond repair. While it was assumed by Kurt and his family and even by Blaine, that his frequent visits to the Hummel household were for Kurt's benefit, the truth was that they were just as much for Blaine. He needed Kurt and couldn't imagine being without him, especially now.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 35<p>

Blaine's mind was flooded with thoughts of injustice and rage as he drove to the Hummel's house after school. He'd spent all day fuming and every time the anger began to wear off, Blaine would see Sebastian or even just think about him and it would set him off again. He prided himself in the fact that he was able to keep from confronting Sebastian, verbally or otherwise, when it had been so hard to do just that throughout the day.

As he finally pulled into the Hummel's driveway, he threw his car in park, wincing at the pain that had developed in his fingers from gripping the steering wheel so tightly. He tried to center himself before getting out of the car, knowing that he needed to stay as calm as possible around Kurt.

He'd ended up calling Burt at the shop on his lunch break to tell him the news about Sebastian. Burt obviously was about as happy with the decision as Blaine was, but he reminded Blaine to keep his cool and avoid any kind of conflict with the other boy.

"Should I tell Kurt when I come over, or will you?" Blaine had asked Burt over the phone.

"Geez," Burt sighed. "I've missed so much work here, I can't afford to take off any more for a while unless it's an absolute emergency. Go ahead and tell him, but remember-"

"I know," Blaine interrupted carefully. He'd heard it a million times already and felt like he'd proven to Burt that he knew how to talk to Kurt to keep from upsetting him.

They'd hung up and Blaine went to join the rest of his friends at the Warbler table in the lunchroom. On his way back to the table, he spied Sebastian sitting by himself at a table near a window, looking miserable. _Good_, Blaine thought to himself.

Now, after several deep breaths, Blaine was getting ready to go into the house to see Kurt. He turned off the car and headed in, using the side door near the kitchen rather than the front.

"Kurt?" he called out into the empty house. Carole was at work still and Finn was at glee club. It was only the second day that Kurt had been allowed to stay home by himself since his accident. His moods had leveled off enough, and with Burt calling every half hour, he felt comfortable enough to leave his son at home while he returned to the shop.

"Up here!" Kurt called. Blaine surmised that he was up in his bedroom. Ever since he'd finally mastered the art of scooting up the stairs on his butt and hobbling the five or six paces to his bedroom door several days ago, he'd spent as much time as possible up there, reveling in his much-missed privacy.

Blaine climbed the stairs slowly, still figuring out how he was going to broach the topic. Putting on the best happy face he could, he knocked lightly on the bedroom door.

"Come in," Kurt sang out. He sounded like he was in a positive mood, which was good news for Blaine. Hopefully that would make telling him about Sebastian easier.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, the minute Blaine entered the room. Blaine prided himself on being able to hide his emotions from just about everyone, but Kurt could always see right through him. It was slightly disconcerting, but at the same time, it was nice to know that at least one person in his life saw him for who he was no matter what mask he put on.

"Nothing," Blaine lied, voice high pitched and faltering slightly.

"Bullshit," Kurt answered quickly, trying not to let himself rise to a panic. Something was definitely wrong with Blaine, otherwise, why would he be trying so hard to be overly cheerful? That wasn't Blaine, at least not these days.

"Okay, I have to tell you something," Blaine finally relented. He climbed on the bed next to Kurt and grabbed his hand gently. "But you have to promise not to get too upset."

"You know I can't promise that," Kurt answered truthfully. If he had that kind of control over his emotions, he wouldn't be in half the mess he was in now.

"You're right, I know," Blaine acknowledged. "Can you promise to do your best not to get upset, or tell me when you need a break?"

"That I can promise," Kurt agreed. "Now please tell me what's going on."

Blaine inhaled a deep breath.

"Okay, so I went to school today and I was walking to my first period class..."

"You were walking to your first period class and...?" Kurt prompted. Blaine decided he would just come out and say it, like ripping off a band aid. If he built up anymore suspense in this room, Kurt was going to explode just from the tension alone.

"Sebastian's back at Dalton."

"What do you mean, back at Dalton?" Kurt asked slowly. He couldn't quite identify the feelings that were rising up within him at that moment.

"I mean," Blaine started, searching Kurt's eyes to try to gauge his reaction. "That he's been allowed to return to school."

There was silence for a few moments as Kurt tried to process the news.

"Well, did you talk to him?" he finally asked.

"No, of course not, I don't think anyone in the entire school said two words to him all day," Blaine answered, somewhat confused. "Why would I?"

"I don't know, I just...I don't know what to think."

"It's okay to be angry," Blaine said soothingly. "I was really angry all day just having to be in the same space as him."

Kurt didn't respond to that. It wasn't really anger that he felt, but he still couldn't identify the feeling.

"How did he look?"

"He looked pretty miserable actually," Blaine responded with a grin. It had made him happy to see how Sebastian was being shunned by everyone at the school. No one would go within five feet of him all day.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, furrowing his brow. "Is that funny? That he was miserable?"

"Well, I mean, Kurt-"

"No really," Kurt cut him off, emotion tainting his voice. "I want to know why it's funny that Sebastian was miserable and isolated all day, tell me."

Blaine's jaw dropped open. This was not in the realm of possible reactions that Blaine had prepared himself for. Kurt was obviously waiting for an answer from him, so he scrambled to form a coherent defense in his mind.

"Kurt, it's not funny," he finally settled on explaining. "It's just that after everything he did-"

"Was accused of doing," Kurt interrupted again. Blaine decided to let that one slide for the time being.

"Anyway, he shouldn't be back at school after everything, and I'm just glad that the students and faculty are standing behind you and not him, that's all I meant."

Both boys were silent for a few minutes. Blaine wanted to give Kurt a chance to calm down again and Kurt was still going over everything in his mind, trying to wrap his head around what he was feeling.

"It's just not fair," Kurt finally spoke, tears stinging his eyes. Blaine was quick to try to comfort him.

"I know, baby," he answered softly, wrapping his arms around Kurt, who melted into the embrace.

"He shouldn't be treated like that."

Blaine immediately stiffened and his hand stopped rubbing circles into Kurt's back. Surely he must have misheard him. Kurt, feeling Blaine's reaction, sat back up and faced Blaine, tears now sliding slowly down his face.

"What?" Blaine asked. He just knew that he'd misunderstood Kurt's muffled words as he was pressed against him.

"They shouldn't be treating Sebastian like that, like he's a leper."

"Kurt," Blaine tried with everything inside of him to stop the anger that was rising within him. "You can't be serious, after everything he did to you-"

"One thing," Kurt responded. "He made one mistake, if he even did it, and it just got way out of hand."

"Kurt, listen to yourself," Blaine said through gritted teeth, voice rising. "It wasn't just the car, he tried to blackmail me using you to accomplish his selfish little goals. He outed Nick to his parents and got him beat up and he's done nothing but terrorize us since he set foot in Ohio."

"Who knows what's going on in his life at home," Kurt reasoned, erratically shaking his head. He could feel himself getting more worked up. "There's got to be a good reason he's lashing out like this-"

"Are you fucking stupid?"

Blaine's hand flew to his mouth the second the words were out. His eyes grew as wide as saucers and he wished with every cell in his body that he could take it back. Kurt froze, jaw dropped and looking like Blaine had just stabbed him in the gut.

Neither boy spoke at first. They continued to stare at each other, each searching the other's face, Blaine looking for reassurance that he hadn't just destroyed everything, and Kurt looking for some explanation, some reason as to why Blaine would ever say that to him.

"Kurt, oh God, I didn't, I am so sor-"

Blaine shut up when Kurt held his hand out, silencing him.

"Don't," Kurt ordered. He cast one more warning glance at Blaine before scooting to the edge of the bed. Placing both feet on the ground, he put his wait on his good foot and hobbled to his en suite bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Blaine asked desperately, even though it was obvious. He was answered by a loud door slam and the sound of quiet crying shortly after.

"Shit, shit, shit," Blaine muttered quietly to himself. He'd failed to do what he'd made Kurt promise to at least attempt. He lost his cool. And what was so stupid about the whole thing was that he was upset at Kurt for not being angry enough at Sebastian. How many times had he had to remind himself over the past few weeks that Kurt was kind and tender-hearted and always searching for the best in people, even when they did wrong by him? It had been the same with Karofsky and even with Finn when they'd first learned that they were going to be step-brothers.

Blaine and Burt had confided in each other their frustrations with Kurt's insistence that everything was being blown out of proportion and that there was still a chance that Sebastian hadn't even done it to begin with. They both agreed that they would try to reason gently with Kurt, but it was understood that they wouldn't push him too far, he'd already been through enough.

Now, Blaine was laid back on Kurt's bed, heels of his hands pushed hard into his eyes, trying to think of a way to fix everything. After a few minutes, the crying from the bathroom subsided. Blaine sat up, waiting for Kurt to emerge and yell at him or kick him out or do something. Anything was better than just sitting there, listening to his boyfriend cry and not be allowed to comfort him.

"Kurt?" Blaine called out tentatively as the silence wore on. "Will you please come out here and talk to me?"

He received no answer. Several more minutes passed and Blaine finally lifted his head hopefully to the sound of the bathroom door clicking open. He stood up expectantly and almost stumbled back when he looked at Kurt's face.

His makeup was immaculate, but definitely unexpected.

"Blaine dear, why don't you have a seat?"

Blaine immediately recognized the airy, feminine voice as belonging to Gina, of course the make-up helped. She'd also put on a long bathrobe, probably to cover up Kurt's boy clothes and to appear more womanly. Blaine did as he was told and sat slowly back on the bed as Gina hobbled as gracefully as possible to sit down beside him.

"I, I didn't mean what I said," Blaine stuttered. "I would never say that, I just...I just lost control for a second."

"Oh, there there," Gina murmured gently, patting Blaine on the knee. "Everyone makes mistakes, sweetie pie, but you should really try to be more careful with Kurtsie. He's so fragile, and well, he's just not cut out for this kind of stress."

"Is that why you're here?"

"Sometimes a delicate situation needs a woman's touch," she answered simply.

"I really just need to talk to Kurt," Blaine explained, sounding as desperate as he felt. "I need to apologize and make him understand that I didn't mean it."

"He just needs some time," Gina explained. "I take good care of him and goodness knows he needs a mother in his life. Just between you and me, I'm not sure that this Carole lady is the right woman for the job."

"What's going on in here?"

Blaine whipped his upper torso around on the bed to face the doorway, where an upset-looking Burt stood. Blaine opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, Gina was already speaking.

"Oh, Burt dear, hello," she greeted, standing up from the bed. "Blaine and I were just having a little chit chat. I bet you boys are famished! I'll go get started on dinner. How does chicken cordon bleu sound?"

"Fine," Burt answered, eyeing her warily as she hopped past him and headed slowly downstairs. Once she was gone, he refocused on Blaine.

"I take it the conversation didn't go well?" Burt asked, already knowing the answer.

"No, it most definitely did not go well," Blaine answered. How in the world was he going to explain this one?

"I kind of figured this might happen," Burt sighed. "At least it's Gina and not Conrad. And chicken cordon bleu does sound delicious-"

"Burt," Blaine cut him off. He briefly contemplated not disclosing what happened to Burt, but in the end he decided he had to, both because he'd made it a point to be completely honest with the elder Hummel and because he deserved whatever punishment was due to him.

"Yeah?"

"I made a mistake, a really big mistake."

"What do you mean, you made a mistake?" Burt said, trying to tone the intimidation down in his voice. Kurt, Carole and Finn had all taken turns in the past letting Burt know that he sometimes made himself unapproachable with his tone when he was upset.

"I lost my temper with Kurt," Blaine said, voice shaking. "And I think that's why he transitioned."

"What did you say?"

"I-I..."

"Spit it out, Blaine."

"I called him stupid," Blaine answered, with a measure of fear evident in the tremble of his voice. "I didn't mean it and I wanted to take it back the minute I said it, but it was too late. Burt, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Get out," Burt ordered quietly. His face was nearly purple with restraint. "We will talk about this tomorrow, when everything has calmed down, but right now I need to focus on Kurt and you need to leave."

Blaine was speechless. He knew he deserved it, but at the same time he was terrified that he'd ruined everything; his relationship with Kurt, his trust with Burt, and now he was being kicked out of the house.

"Burt, sir, please, I need to fix this," Blaine begged.

"I'm not going to tell you again, Blaine," Burt answered in a voice that clearly let Blaine know that he was seriously testing Burt's patience. "You need to leave now. I will call you tomorrow and we will talk about this."

Blaine kept his mouth shut and answered with a simple nod. He slunk passed Burt and headed down the stairs, making a bee line for the door. In the background of his mind, he heard Gina call after him, asking why he wasn't staying for dinner. He didn't answer. Instead, he headed outside and got into his car. Buckling his seatbelt, he slammed his hand hard against the steering wheel and laid his head there briefly, growling in frustration.

Finally, he started his car and began the long drive back to Dalton, not knowing whether he would ever be able to fix his relationships with the Hummels.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 36<p>

Kurt arched his back in a long, deep stretch, letting out a murmured sigh of contentment. Man, he'd slept well. As he lay in bed, trying to work up the energy to fully wake up, he started noticing little things, like the fact that the last thing he remembered before falling asleep was talking to Blaine in his bedroom. Or the fact that he felt like he was swimming in one of Gina's silky nightgowns.

"I guess Gina came out to play last night," Kurt spoke aloud, throwing the covers aside to confirm his theory. But why? He tried to remember what led up to the transition, but everything was so foggy. He must have slept very deeply the night before. It was strange, Gina didn't usually wear him out as much as Conrad or Jamie did, but maybe it was due to some marathon baking or housecleaning.

With a groan, Kurt threw his legs over the side of the bed. Pulling the nightgown over his head and discarding it on the unmade bed, along with the lacy underwear he struggled to pull over the cast on his left foot, he stood up and hobbled his way to the bathroom to get started on his morning skin care ritual.

Twenty minutes later, he was dressed in his own clothes and making his way downstairs. The clock on the wall in the hallway near his room read a quarter 'til eight, which meant that everyone else should be awake as well. Finn had school and Carole and his dad both had to be at work. He was glad he hadn't slept any later, he wanted to make sure that Gina hadn't done anything too embarrassing with Blaine around and if everyone was already out of the house by the time he woke up, he'd have to wait until that evening.

As he walked into the kitchen, he saw Finn sitting at the bar, slurping down a bowl of cereal. The taller boy looked up with raised eyebrows at Kurt.

"Hey, you're back," Finn greeted. "I figured you might be since Gina wasn't already down here baking this morning when I got up."

"Yeah," Kurt answered with a hint of confusion. "Anyway, please tell me that she didn't do anything embarrassing last night."

"Last night?" Finn looked toward the sky as if trying to remember. "Nah, it was pretty uneventful."

"Good," Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. "Did Blaine stay for a while, or did he head home? I know he has a test this morning, so I hope he didn't hang around too long last night."

"Um, Kurt?" This time Finn was the one who looked confused, even more so than usual. "What day do you think today is?"

"Well, seeing that yesterday was Monday, I'm going to have to go with Tuesday," Kurt answered, a little bit of snark lacing his words. Finn could be dim sometimes, but really?

"Okay, dude, don't freak out, but it's Friday. Gina's been here all week."

"Haha, very funny," Kurt answered, rolling his eyes. He made his way to the fridge and opened it, leaning in. "Do we have any cinnamon rolls left?"

"He's not messing with you, kiddo," Burt said, making his way into the kitchen. He'd been coming down the stairs when he caught the last bit of the conversation between his two sons. Kurt straightened up and closed the refrigerator door as he turned to face his dad.

"I'm glad to have you back," Burt spoke again, drawing a stunned Kurt into a hug.

"Me too," Finn piped in with a mouth full of cereal. "Even though Gina's cooking has been off-the-charts good."

"I don't understand," Kurt finally found his voice. "I've never transitioned for that long before."

"You have," Burt answered gently, still holding onto his son's shoulders. "You just don't remember, that's all."

"Well, that's the problem I guess, isn't it? You know, I thought coming off the medication would help me remember things and let me live my life, but it's not turning out that way so far. I'm still missing these huge chunks of time and there's nothing I can do about it." Kurt tried not to let his stress level rise, but he was feeling very flustered.

He limped over and slumped into the stool next to Finn. He was feeling so defeated and disoriented, he was starting to wonder if things were ever going to get better.

"We've got an appointment with Dr. Simmons this morning," Burt said, hoping it would offer his son some comfort. "She's already met with Gina twice this week and I think she'll be happy to have you back. Apparently, Gina's been giving her quite a run for her money."

"What about Blaine?" Kurt asked, completely changing topics and throwing his father somewhat off his guard. "I—She didn't do anything embarrassing around him, did she?"

Kurt didn't miss the exchange of looks between Finn and Burt. Internally he winced. She must have done something.

"Tell me what you remember before your transition," Burt finally answered. Kurt couldn't help feeling that his father was being somewhat cryptic, but he closed his eyes, trying to access his memory from what he now knew was almost four days ago.

"Okay, I remember that Blaine came to see me after he got off of school," Kurt started slowly. "I was in my bedroom and he came up. He said he had to talk to me about something, and I remember being really nervous. Something about Sebastian, I think. And then I remember we were arguing about something, and…I guess that's it. I mean, there's more there, but it's kind of just out of reach."

Both Burt and Finn remained silent, just watching Kurt. After a few moments, he started feeling self-conscious.

"What's going on?" he asked, looking between the two of them. "You guys are starting to freak me out."

"It's nothing, Kurt," Burt answered quietly. "Why don't you go finish getting ready, we need to leave in about fifteen minutes. Do me a favor and let me talk to Blaine first before you call or text him, okay?"

Kurt eyed him suspiciously. Why wouldn't his father just tell him what was going on? Deep down, he knew why he didn't though. In one of Kurt's more recent therapy sessions, Dr. Simmons had suggested that Kurt do his best to try to remember with as much detail as possible, what led up to each transition, without any outside help. She must have let his father in on it and now he was putting it into practice.

As he made his way back up the stairs, scooting on his butt, he decided to put all of his mental energy into remembering what happened Monday night. _Something_ happened, and if no one was going to tell him, he was going to figure it out on his own.

* * *

><p><em>From: Burt Hummel, 8:02am<em>

_Kurt's back. Call me on your lunch period._

Blaine had been staring at the text message for the entirety of homeroom. Suddenly, a weight that had settled on his shoulders Monday night had been lifted, only to be replaced with a feeling of dread. Kurt was back, which meant that, if he hadn't already, he'd be remembering soon what caused him to transition for the better part of a week to begin with.

The past four days had been torture for Blaine. Burt had called him on Tuesday after school like he'd promised, but the conversation wasn't exactly pleasant. Burt was pissed, and for good reason. When Burt had told him angrily that 'no one pushes the Hummels around,' Blaine couldn't figure out enough ways to apologize for what had been a horrible mistake, borne out of frustration and misunderstanding.

By the end of the conversation, a truce of sorts had been reached. They made a compromise that, while neither was fully happy with, made the most sense. Whenever Kurt came back, they would wait, see what he remembered without any influence from either of them and ultimately let Kurt decide what to do. Whatever decision Kurt came to, they would both have to live with.

"Blaine, I need to tell you something," Burt had said nearing the end of their conversation. "I'm really, really upset with you right now. I'll be honest, I'm pissed off with your lack of sensitivity and control over your emotions. Because of you, my kid's in the longest transition he's had in a while. But, I know that it was a mistake. I know you don't really think that about Kurt, I know you love him deeply and that you regret what happened. I think that, in time, things will be okay, but this can't ever happen again. Not ever. Do you understand?"

Blaine had indicated that he did, and after a few more words were exchanged, he ended the call, not feeling worse, but not feeling a whole lot better either.

Now, after three more days of waiting, relying on short, unemotional text updates from Burt, Blaine was finally hearing the news he'd been waiting for. Now, he'd still be waiting, but it was a different kind, one that would have an impact on whether or not Kurt would still love him and want him once he remembered the awful thing that Blaine had done.

* * *

><p>"So Kurt, let's talk about what was going on before you transitioned."<p>

Kurt was exhausted. It had only been thirty minutes since his session started with Dr. Simmons, but he'd been concentrating so hard on trying to remember everything that he already felt like he needed a nap.

"Okay, like right before? Because I think I've told you everything that I remember."

During the session, Kurt had been able to recall that the reason he and Blaine were arguing was because Sebastian was back at Dalton. Kurt remembered feeling guilty about how Sebastian was being treated, and a little upset at Blaine because he seemed to be enjoying Sebastian's outcast status.

"No, let's back it up a bit further," Dr. Simmons explained. "Because of your accident, you and I haven't had the chance to meet in quite a while. Can you tell me about what it's been like the last few weeks since then?"

"Well," Kurt drew in a deep breath. Where to start? "I guess for a while there, it seemed like I was getting better, DID-wise, I mean. I was using the breathing techniques, journaling, meditation, all that stuff, and it really seemed to be helping."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"It's just that this whole thing with Sebastian has really thrown me for a loop. I know I'm supposed to hate him or whatever, for what he did, but I just can't. That's not who I am. Sure, I guess if he'd pulled a gun on me or stabbed me or something it'd be different, but I can't make myself believe that he was intentionally trying to hurt me that day. Even my dad has told me that it was amazing I was even able to make it out of the parking lot that day with that much bleach in the engine."

"So you think that you should be more upset with Sebastian?"

"I don't know, maybe? I mean, everyone else is so upset with him, my dad and Carole, Blaine, Finn….everyone but me."

"Let me tell you what I hear you saying," Dr. Simmons said, taking her glasses off and laying them in her lap. "What it sounds like you're saying is that everyone expects you to be outraged and angry at Sebastian, but deep in your heart, you just don't feel that way. Do you think that you should try to force yourself to feel something that's not there?"

"Well, when you put it that way, no."

"Kurt, one of your good qualities is that you're very sensitive to those around you. You're compassionate, caring and understanding. Sometimes, though, that can be a detriment to you. The fact that you have compassion for Sebastian clashes with your desire to please your family by feeling the way you feel. Do you see that, in this situation, you're either going to have to be true to your own feelings or disregard them in favor of pleasing those around you? You can't have it both ways."

"Yeah," Kurt answered. "That makes sense."

"Now, what do you think is the best thing for you to do in this situation, abide by your gut feelings or tamper them down to appease those around you?"

Kurt knew the answer, it didn't need to be spoken. He felt some relief at the notion that someone finally seemed to be validating what he was feeling, someone completely objective to the situation at hand. As he was thinking about it, something bizarre and completely unrelated flashed into his mind.

"Cinnamon rolls."

"I beg your pardon?" Dr. Simmons answered quizzically.

"Cinnamon rolls," Kurt repeated, his eyes darting back and forth as his mind tried to chase the memory before it dissipated. "This morning, when I came downstairs, I had a memory of cinnamon rolls being made in the kitchen. I can remember seeing dough being rolled out and sliced, and I can remember the smell of them being baked. Hold on, I'll be right back."

Dr. Simmons tried to call after Kurt as he ran, to the best of his ability, from her office. She wasn't sure what was going on, but whatever it was had her client very excited.

"Kurt, what is it, what's wrong?"

Dr. Simmons looked up to see Burt Hummel being dragged in by his son. The two sat down on the couch opposite her and she and Burt watched Kurt expectantly.

"Dad, did Gina make cinnamon rolls for breakfast one morning?"

Burt looked even more confused than Dr. Simmons felt.

"Uh, yeah, she made them Tuesday morning," Burt answered. "I was surprised when I woke up to the smell of them, because I was expecting you to be back."

"Oh my God," Kurt said shakily, leaning back into the couch. "I-I remember. Bits and pieces, I mean. I remember the cinnamon rolls. That's never happened before, ever."

"I think you may have had your first experience with co-consciousness, Kurt," Dr. Simmons answered tentatively. She couldn't be positive, but what Kurt was describing seemed to fit.

"What does that mean, Doc?" Burt asked, looking quickly between her and his son.

"Up until this point, Kurt has been completely unaware of what goes on during his transitions. Everything he knows about his alters comes from others' descriptions of them. For the first time, it would seem, Kurt was somewhat present, at least for a moment while one of his alters was engaged. It's a good step towards integration."

"Integration?"

"The more Kurt is able to interact with his alters on a conscious level, the less he'll have to rely on them when he's in stressful situations. That's the ultimate goal, at least."

"So," Kurt spoke quietly, unable to hide the grin from his face. "Can we call this a breakthrough?"

"Absolutely," Dr. Simmons smiled back. "This is most definitely a breakthrough."

* * *

><p>Kurt was nearly giddy as he and Burt arrived home from his doctor's appointment. He was still upset over missing the last few days, but he'd finally made some headway, after all this time.<p>

"You've been working hard," his father said to him on the drive home. "And now it's paying off. Just think what you can accomplish if you keep at it."

After Kurt was back upstairs in his room, he pulled out his phone to send a text message to Blaine. The whole act was second nature to him at this point and he hadn't remembered what his father asked him to do in the kitchen earlier that morning.

Scrolling through his phone, he noticed that he had a new message from Blaine. Well, new as in unopened, it was actually from late Monday night.

_From: Blaine, Monday, 11:06pm_

_I am so, so sorry, Kurt. I didn't mean it and I would give anything to take it back. I would give anything to have your forgiveness. I love you._

And then it all came rushing back to him.

_"Kurt, listen to yourself," Blaine said through gritted teeth, voice rising. "It wasn't just the car, he tried to blackmail me using you to accomplish his selfish little goals. He outed Nick to his parents and got him beat up and he's done nothing but terrorize us since he set foot in Ohio."_

_"Who knows what's going on in his life at home," Kurt reasoned, erratically shaking his head. He could feel himself getting more worked up. "There's got to be a good reason he's lashing out like this-"_

_"Are you fucking stupid?"_

Kurt's hand found its way to his mouth as he remembered the exchange. That's what his dad wanted him to remember. That's why Gina came out, it was to protect him. It was why his dad didn't want him calling Blaine yet.

Now that Kurt had the memory, he played it over and over in his head, his discarded phone laying on the bed next to him. He picked up the phone and reread the message several times, trying to make sense of everything.

Deep down, he knew Blaine hadn't meant it. But he still said it. It had been abusive, and Kurt had suffered enough abuse in his life with bullies at school, that he wasn't going to tolerate it from those who were supposed to love him.

Kurt was devastated. He loved Blaine more than words could express, and he knew that Blaine loved him too, but how was he supposed to look past this? It would always be there, and while Kurt wasn't one to hold a grudge, his main priority right then had to be recovery. He had to focus all of his energy on continuing to make progress and if he was worried about his relationship with Blaine and what he said, then he couldn't work on himself. At the same time, the thought of not having Blaine around was terrifying. He had no idea what to do.

Finally, after about thirty minutes of typing and erasing, he'd finally crafted his response to Blaine's four day old text.

_To: Blaine, 10:37am_

_I got your message. I understand that you regret what happened. So do I. I need some time to think things through. Don't call or text, I'll let you know when I'm ready to talk. I still love you._

Kurt waited for the 'whoosh' sound effect to let him know that his message had been delivered before lying back down on the bed, completely drained emotionally. Within a few minutes, he was asleep, the thoughts that had been racing through his mind all morning finally subsiding, allowing him to rest.

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><p><strong>Feedback appreciated, thanks for reading :)<strong>


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: I don't own Glee or United States of Kurt**

* * *

><p>Chapter 37<p>

_To: Blaine, 12:04pm_

_Hey. So, I was wondering if you could meet me at the Lima Bean after school to talk?_

Blaine's heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest as he read the first message, the first contact of any kind that he'd received from Kurt since nearly a month earlier when Kurt had asked him not to contact him until he was ready. Well, it looked like Kurt was finally ready, and Blaine felt like he was going to throw up, either from excitement, nervousness or dread, he couldn't tell which.

Kurt would have known that Blaine was on his lunch break when he texted, so he was probably expecting an answer back right away. Of course Blaine wanted to talk to him, there was nothing he'd wanted to do more in the weeks that followed the horrible incident in Kurt's bedroom. The problem was, he couldn't get his hands to stop shaking long enough to type out a response.

"Everything okay, Blainers?" Jeff asked, noticing the change in his friend as they sat down to the table. All the Warbler's had been doing their best to keep Blaine under control, but the responsibility to keep him sane fell largely on Jeff and Nick. No matter how hard they'd tried to convince him that things would eventually work out, Blaine maintained a steady level of pessimism about the whole thing. The only thing that ever cheered him up was hearing from one of them that Kurt was doing alright. Kurt at least must have recognized that Blaine needed to know he wasn't wasting away or in a hospital bed somewhere, so he made sure to text Jeff or Nick every few days with a short, "Tell him I'm doing fine," or some such.

"H-he texted me," Blaine answered, not wanting to tear his eyes away from the screen, for fear that the words would disappear if his focus shifted. "He wants to meet after school at the Lima Bean."

"Well that's good, right?" Nick asked, unsure why Blaine was looking so green.

"Yeah, I just…" Blaine swallowed nervously. "What if he just wants to break up with me in person? I mean, he is chivalrous like that, it's not something he'd do over a text message."

"Why don't you wait to see what he wants to talk about this afternoon before you start worrying about that?" Jeff reasoned. He was about ninety-nine percent certain that Kurt wasn't going to break up with Blaine over coffee at the Lima Bean, but he knew there would be little gained in trying to convince his friend otherwise.

"I-I—"

"Blaine, for God's sake, breathe," Jeff said. "Have you texted him back to let him know you'll be there?"

"I can't seem to get my fingers to work," Blaine admitted nervously. Jeff laughed and rolled his eyes before grabbing the phone from him.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked, his voice rising to an unnatural octave.

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm telling him you'll be there, now quit freaking out, you need to start preparing yourself."

"How am I supposed to do that?" The desperate exasperation in his voice was evident. Nick and Jeff exchanged a look.

"You can start by eating your lunch," Nick instructed, nudging Blaine's tray closer to him. "Last thing you need is for your sugar to bottom out and be stuck in Nurse Evelyn's office while you're supposed to be meeting with Kurt.

Blaine reluctantly picked up his sandwich and began taking small bites. He had to admit that it calmed his stomach down a bit to have something in it, but he was still so nervous. He spent the rest of the lunch period receiving coaching from Nick and Jeff and by the time the bell rung, he was feeling a lot better. He could do this. It was Kurt, after all, and best case scenario was that after they met up, Kurt would allow Blaine back into his life. Blaine didn't want to think about the worst that could happen, but at the end of the day, would it be all that different from what he was dealing with already the last month?

Blaine decided that no matter what, he would respect Kurt's decision. He'd made a serious mistake and serious mistakes were either met with serious forgiveness or serious punishment. Either way, he had the opportunity to tell Kurt just how sorry he was and he wasn't going to mess it up.

* * *

><p>Kurt was already sitting at their usual table in the coffee shop with both of their coffee orders when Blaine arrived. Kurt felt a pang in his chest when he saw how nervous his boyfriend looked. The separation didn't seem to have treated Blaine very well. He still looked as dashing as ever in his Dalton uniform, but there was a sadness to his face that Kurt had never seen before.<p>

Kurt stood up as Blaine reached the table.

"Hey," Kurt greeted awkwardly.

"Hey."

Blaine was surprised, but overwhelmed with happiness when Kurt drew him into a hug. He breathed in deeply Kurt's scent and with it came so many happy memories that he'd been missing. If ever he needed to keep his composure, this was the time. He pulled away first, not wanting to give any impression of taking control over the hug that had been initiated by Kurt. The two exchanged a small smile before sitting down across from each other.

"So how have you been?" Blaine asked, nervously rolling his coffee cup in his hands.

"I've been really good, actually," Kurt answered honestly. He didn't miss the way Blaine's smile faltered just a little bit. "I mean, with the DID and everything. I've been making a lot of progress in my coping skills and controlling the transitions. I, um, I guess right after…whenever Gina came that time after you left, I experienced something called co-consciousness. There were a few things that she did that I actually remembered when I woke up and that's never happened before. Dr. Simmons said it's a good sign and I've been working really hard to try to experience it when I do transition. So far, it's…I've been improving. I feel like I'm rambling…"

"No, no Kurt," Blaine spoke quickly once Kurt trailed off. "That is so great, I mean, I'm so glad to hear that you, that you're making such headway. A-and you look fantastic, too. I hope you don't mind me saying so."

"Thank you," Kurt blushed. "It's amazing what three square meals a day and a decent night's sleep will do for a guy." It was true, Kurt had filled out a bit in the last month, in the best possible way. Blaine couldn't remember a time when he'd looked better.

There were a few moments of awkward silence before Blaine chanced to speak again.

"I'm really, really happy that you messaged me today, Kurt, it's so good to see you, and I'm almost afraid to ask, but what is this? What are we doing here?"

Kurt took a deep breath. He felt as nervous as Blaine looked, but he knew it wasn't fair to keep Blaine waiting any longer.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll start at the beginning," Kurt said finally, putting his half-full coffee cup back down on the table. "That night, when you…said what you said, when I remembered it and remembered the way it felt at the time to hear it, it was one of the worst moments of my life."

"Kurt, I—"

"No, let me finish, I need to finish. It's not because I haven't heard that kind of stuff before. I've had insults much worse than that thrown at me for much less. But it was different with you, because I love you and I trusted you and I never, ever thought you'd hurt me like that."

Kurt paused to regain his composure and he recognized that Blaine desperately wanted to speak but was going to wait until Kurt gave him the go ahead.

"I told you I needed some time to figure things out and that's what this past month has been about for me. I'm really proud of myself for the things I've achieved in therapy and for the progress I've made in trying to get my life straightened out, but the whole time I've just kept thinking about how much sweeter these victories would be if I had you to share in them with me.

"I miss you, a lot. But you really hurt me, and it's going to take time and effort if we're going to regain what we once had. I know that being with me and putting up with my DID is a hardship, but if you are willing to give it another shot, I am too, because I love you Blaine, I've never stopped loving you."

Blaine took a moment to brush his tears away and to think about how he wanted to say what was on his heart.

"First of all, Kurt, I can't…I can't even begin to tell you how much I regret what I said. I am so sorry and I would do anything to take it back. I understand everything you've said here and I will do whatever it takes to make things right with you. I love you and miss you more than you could possibly know. There's nothing about you that's a hardship for me, please don't ever think that. Whatever you or I need to do to get back on track, I'm for it. There's nothing I want more in my life than to be with you, to love and support you."

"Come here," Kurt instructed with a shaky voice. Both boys were openly crying now as Blaine scooted his chair closer to Kurt and let himself be wrapped in a hug.

"We're going to make it through this, okay?" Kurt whispered in his ear. Blaine didn't trust himself to talk, so he just nodded his head against Kurt's shoulder.

They were going to be okay, Blaine resolved. He was being given a second chance when he wasn't so sure he deserved one and he was sure as hell not going to waste it. Kurt would never doubt Blaine's love or support for him ever again.

* * *

><p><strong>Aww, Blaine get's a second chance. Hopefully he won't screw it up :) Comments and reviews welcomed and appreciated. Thanks for reading.<strong>


	38. Chapter 38

**Author's Note: Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and warn you that this chapter isn't the most exciting. I've hit a bit of a block and it's been difficult to try to work through it, but I think I'm close to being over the hump. That being said, I do believe things are about to pick up pretty soon here, so please bear with me.**

**Also, just a shameless plug: I've started another story called "The New Reality" that I would love for y'all to check out. It's different than the other stories I've written and it's not a crossover of any kind, so yay! I've found that I work better if I have two different projects going at the same time, so that if I'm at a loss for one, I can draw inspiration from the other. **

**Anyway, I'm taking up too much time and space here. I love your comments and encouragement. Thanks for reading.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 38<p>

"Dad, you're starting to freak me out, what's going on?"

Burt contemplated the worry on his son's face and almost backed down. Kurt had been doing so well the last few months, between recovering from his accident and working on his assignments for Dr. Simmons. The only problem was, Kurt was still unwilling to go anywhere near his past memories. Both Burt and Dr. Simmons had tried gentle prodding, trying to get Kurt to dig in on his own, but that was obviously not working. Now, with a potential trial looming with Sebastian Smythe and the private investigator Burt hired promising that he was getting close to finding something, he had to start preparing his son for the rocky path that lay ahead.

"Nothing's wrong, Kurt, calm down, I just wanted to talk for a few minutes. It seems like we never have a chance to do that anymore."

Burt felt like he was lying. This wasn't about just having a casual chat with his son, but this was new territory for him, and there was something wrong with him knowing more about what happened to Kurt when he was little than Kurt himself. He had to help him get past this. Kurt deserved a full, long, healthy and happy life and there was only so much he could do as a parent without helping him work through the hard stuff.

"There's more that you're not telling me. Please, Dad, just tell me."

"Okay," Burt conceded, taking a deep breath. "Dr. Simmons and I agreed that while you've been making a lot of progress lately, and believe me when I say how proud of you I am, it's time to take it up a notch."

"Take it up a notch, how?" Kurt spoke slowly as if testing each word before starting the next. If he looked worried before, he looked downright cornered now.

"Well, I—we, I mean, think it's time to start thinking about the root causes of all this, about what may have happened when you were little."

Kurt stared at his father for a moment, eyes focusing in and out as if weighing the thousands of thoughts going through his head on different levels of consciousness.

"No, I'm not ready," he settled on finally. "I've been doing everything right and, and I'm not ready. I don't want to mess up the progress I've made, and besides don't you think I would have remembered something by now if there was anything there? No, I'm not…I can't do this."

"Yes you can, Kurt," Burt answered quickly and firmly, leaning forward to place his hand on his son's forearm which was tightly crossed with his other on his chest. The last thing Burt wanted was a meltdown or a transition, especially now. This conversation had to happen and it had to happen as soon as possible.

"You're stronger now than you've ever been," Burt continued. "And things are about to get pretty dicey for a while with this whole Smythe thing coming up. Just think, kid, if you can muck through this, you can accomplish just about anything."

"No, I—"

"Kurt," he cut off his son gently. "Will you do me a favor and just listen? I'm going to ask you some questions, simple ones, yes or no, and you don't even have to speak, you can just nod or shake your head, okay? I just need to know that I'm getting through to you."

Kurt stared at his father. If anyone was more stubborn than Kurt Hummel, it was the man responsible for his existence. Kurt weighed the option of getting up from the kitchen table and leaving, but he knew that would only work for the length of time it took Burt to follow him up to his room. This was going to happen whether Kurt liked it or not.

"Fine," he finally answered in a small voice.

"Okay, good," Burt answered, relieved that his son wasn't putting up as much of a fight as he was anticipating. He drew in a deep breath and went over his mental list of questions one last time. Kurt watched him with wary expectance.

"Alright, I guess my first question is if you remember your sixth birthday?" Burt wanted to start farther out from when he believed Kurt's abuse may have occurred and work his way in. Dr. Simmons felt that this would be the best way to ease into the heart of the matter.

"Um, I don't know, was it any different than any other birthday?"

"Well, I found this picture," Burt explained, taking the first picture from the stack he'd prepared in his lap. It was the same photograph he'd found the day he went searching for clues in his office, the one that showed a clearly unhappy Kurt surrounded by kids and family in front of his birthday cake.

"Do you remember this? Does it look familiar?"

Kurt studied the photograph.

"I remember the cake, I guess. And I remember wishing there were more balloons."

Burt chuckled. "Okay, good. Do you remember anything else about that day?"

"No, not really." Burt wanted to ask why his son was so unhappy that day, but he was trying to do his best to stick to the yes or no questions he'd promised to ask and hoped that Kurt would continue to supply more information than he was asking for. He nervously withdrew the next photograph from his lap. It was the one of Kurt and Edward playing in the sandbox.

"How about this one?"

"What about it?" Kurt barely looked at the photograph before meeting his father's gaze again. It was brief, but Burt could swear he saw something flicker in his son's eyes. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was something.

"Do you remember who that is?"

"Yeah, it's Edward."

That's it? That's all Kurt was going to give him? This wasn't going very well.

"You two used to be best friends, right?" Burt asked cautiously.

"I guess, as much as four year olds can be best friends."

"What happened? I mean, do you remember why you stopped being friends?"

"I don't know, Dad, he probably chopped all the hair off of my Barbies or something," Kurt answered, obviously exasperated. "Is this going somewhere? I don't get the point of this little walk down memory lane."

Dr. Simmons had warned Burt that Kurt may get hostile. She said it happened sometimes during their sessions and suggested that if it started happening during their conversation, that Burt stay as calm as possible, but remain firm in what he set out to do.

"Kurt, all I'm trying to do is help," Burt explained. "It may not seem like any of this is important, but what if it is? Your alters are here protecting you for a reason. I just have one last photo to show you, and let me preface it by saying that I found this in your bedroom that time Jamie trashed the place, okay?"

This part wasn't in the plan that Burt had mapped out with Dr. Simmons. In fact, Burt was pretty sure that the doctor would tell him that this was a bad idea, but Burt had to know. He had to show that picture of Mark to Kurt and see what kind of reaction it elicited. He was convinced that one look at Kurt would tell him everything he needed to know, and once he had that knowledge, and once Mark was located by the PI, Burt would have everything he needed.

"Just show it to me, Dad, I'm ready for this to be over with."

Burt paused for one more moment before taking the crumpled, scribbled on photograph out of his lap and sliding it across the table. Kurt picked it up and squinted at it, trying to look through the marker.

"Do you know who that is sitting next to you and Edward?" Burt asked, focusing intently on his son's face as he scanned the photograph. After a few seconds he put it down and Burt got the only reaction he hadn't prepared for.

"No," Kurt answered, with absolutely no emotional inflection one way or another. His face was void of anything telling as well. It was like Burt had shown him a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and asked him if he'd ever been there before.

Burt was speechless. That was what every question he'd asked had been leading up to, and Kurt completely called into question whether or not this Mark guy had even had anything to do with his son. Maybe Edward was misremembering details from his friendship with Kurt, maybe they had just been playing hide and seek all those years ago and Edward felt picked on or something. But then, what about Jamie's reaction when he found the picture of Mark?

Nothing made sense anymore. If Burt had been hoping for a smoking gun out of this conversation, he felt like he was left with even less than he had before.

"Not to be rude, but are we done here? I promised Blaine I'd call him and let him know when to pick me up for our date tonight."

Burt threw his hands up slightly. "Yeah, we're done. Thanks for humoring me, kid."

"You're welcome," Kurt answered shortly before getting up and leaving the table. Burt hadn't missed the eye roll Kurt gave when he stood up, and normally he would have called his son out for being rude, but he was too perplexed at the moment to act on it.

Burt couldn't help feeling like he was going back to the drawing board. The only hope he had was that maybe their conversation planted a seed within Kurt. Maybe something was said, or he saw something in one of the photographs that was lying in wait for the time being and would bloom at the right time. The conversation couldn't have been a total waste, he convinced himself.

Getting up from the table himself, he made his way over to the sink and began putting away the clean dishes from the drying rack. He needed something in his hands, some tangible, rote task to focus on for a while until he could drum up the mental energy to figure out what his next step would be. One thing was for sure, he was not going to let this go. Not until his son was healthy again.

* * *

><p>Blaine was nervous. It had been a couple of weeks since they'd made up, and Kurt was finally agreeing to a date night. They'd decided to take things slow for a while, to readjust to each other. Kurt explained that it was for both of their benefits. Kurt needed to know that he could trust Blaine again, and Blaine needed to separate himself from Kurt's DID and car accident and focus on Kurt as a person, rather than Kurt as a victim.<p>

In the end, Blaine knew that was what went wrong before. He was so desperate to try to support Kurt that his misguided efforts ended up causing more harm. It wasn't fair to either of them, according to Kurt. It wasn't fair that Blaine had to feel responsible for helping to "fix" him, and it wasn't fair to Kurt when all he wanted was a boyfriend, not another parent or therapist.

Things were finally starting to feel like they had in the beginning. Kurt was doing so well at controlling the alters, and their conversations no longer centered around his DID or the issue with Sebastian. They'd already been warned by the District Attorney's office that the whole thing could take months if not longer to be completed, and despite Blaine's innermost desires, Sebastian was at Dalton to stay.

The first few weeks of Sebastian being back were the worst, especially since Kurt wasn't talking to him. But, much to Blaine's surprise, the new quiet, unobtrusive Sebastian seemed to be there to stay. Most people were still avoiding him like the plague, but a few of the less involved students at Dalton would talk to him every now and then. Sebastian, at least on the surface, seemed to appreciate the bit of attention he received every now and then, but never appeared to seek it out. It was like watching a completely different person with Sebastian's body and face.

Now Blaine was headed to pick Kurt up to go to the movies. Kurt had sounded a bit off when they talked almost an hour earlier on the phone, but Blaine chalked it up to him being a little nervous for this second official "first date." Blaine was confident that everything was going to work out this time around, he was going to make sure of it.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 39<p>

"Kurt, can we please just talk about this a little bit more?"

"Dad," Kurt groaned. "Please, you promised that when I was done answering your questions you'd drop it. Blaine and I are going to be late if we don't leave in the next thirty seconds."

Blaine had been watching the battle between father and son quietly for the last few minutes since he'd arrived at the house to pick Kurt up for their movie date. He wasn't really sure what was going on. All he knew is that there had been some discussion earlier, one which Burt wanted to continue and Kurt wished hadn't happened in the first place.

"Fine," Burt relented. "Back by ten, no excuses."

"Thank you," Kurt answered dramatically, choosing to ignore his father's rolled eyes. "Come on Blaine, let's go, I don't want to miss the previews."

"Have fun you two," Burt called after them. To Blaine, it almost sounded like a warning. He and Burt had sat down with each other several times over the past month and a half, Burt wanting to make sure that Blaine was still an appropriate choice as Kurt's boyfriend and Blaine wanting to prove himself again. Blaine felt like they were back to having a good relationship, but something about Burt Hummel was always going to make him a bit nervous.

"So, what was that all about?" Blaine asked casually once they were sitting in his car and heading out of the driveway.

"Oh, nothing, it's just…it's nothing, can we not talk about it?" Kurt looked over to Blaine with a pleading expression.

"Yeah, sure, no problem," Blaine answered quickly. One of the ground rules that Kurt laid when they got back together was that he didn't want Blaine to be so invested in his DID. Blaine didn't necessarily agree. After all, Kurt's DID was a major part of him and he wanted Kurt to feel supported by him in every aspect of his life, but he ultimately understood Kurt's reluctance. Without the DID, the events leading up to Blaine's outburst probably would have never happened and even if they had and Blaine said what he did to Kurt, Kurt probably wouldn't have taken it so hard.

At some point, Blaine was determined that he would revisit the whole rule about no DID talk, but on this night, he just wanted to go enjoy an evening at the movies with his boyfriend. The rest of the car ride was fairly quiet. Kurt asked about school and the Warblers and Blaine did his best to avoid any mention of Sebastian.

Once they'd paid for tickets, sodas and popcorn, they made their way to the theater, Kurt leading excitedly.

"I'm so excited to see Footloose," he gushed, swinging the door to the dark theater open. "Or maybe I'm just excited to be out of the house."

"Or maybe," Blaine whispered as they slid down into their seats, "You're just excited to be alone in a dark room with me."

"Ooh, may—"

"Shut it, homos!" A voice called from behind them, cutting Kurt off. He could feel Blaine stiffen next to him. Kurt shot a glance behind him and saw two guys and two girls several rows up from them. The guys were laughing and the girls looked embarrassed. Kurt turned back around without saying anything.

"Maybe we should leave," Blaine grumbled.

"No way, they have dates with them, they're not going to do anything," Kurt answered. "Besides, did you not hear me earlier? I need to be out of that house."

Blaine opened his mouth to ask Kurt what was so bad about being at home, but the theater dimmed and the previews came on. Blaine knew he'd just be shushed if he interrupted the stupid preview, so instead, he settled back and tried to relax, even though he was having a hard time, knowing there were a couple of homophobes of undetermined size and strength sitting behind them.

The previews had been rolling for several minutes, Kurt happily munching on his popcorn and Blaine finally starting to unwind a bit when Blaine noticed a change in the air around him. He ignored it at first, trying to concentrate on the preview, which was flashing underwater shots in a swimming pool. The narrator was saying something about romance and the days of summer. Without thinking too much about it, Blaine moved to put his hand on Kurt's knee and that's when it happened.

"Ennyughhhh!"

Kurt let out a garbled, animalistic noise, something halfway between a groan and a scream and fell out of the chair onto the sticky floor below. His whole body was shaking and he was staring up at Blaine with a look of sheer terror in his eyes.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Blaine asked, starting to panic himself. He could see faces in his peripheral vision of people turning around in the crowded theater to see what the commotion was about. Kurt didn't answer, but kept watching Blaine, panting heavily and with a noticeable sheen of sweat across his forehead.

"Kurt, please, what's—" Blaine tried to grab Kurt on the forearm, but Kurt yanked his arm out of reach with another strangled yell and began half-crawling, half-running his way out of the theater. Popcorn went flying as he barreled down the aisle, going underneath people's legs and feet, looking for the quickest route. When he got to the end of the aisle, he ran down the stairs before crossing over to the other side of the theater.

By this point, everyone in the audience was paying attention, some were even on their feet taking video with their cell phones. Blaine made his way out of the aisle and down the stairs, trying his best to corral Kurt as he flew from one end of the theater to the next. The way he was looking around, it was like he was trying to find the exit but couldn't. He was acting like a caged animal who'd just been set free and had no idea where to go.

Finally, a late-comer opened the door to the theater, arms laden with junk food. Upon seeing the beam of light that came in through the hallway, Kurt bolted for the exit, with Blaine close behind him. When the patron tried to step around Kurt, Kurt grunted and shoved the guy, causing him to lose his balance and his grip on his various snacks. He toppled over and looked bewildered as Kurt hurried past him into the hall.

"Sir, I'm so sorry, he's—" Blaine cut himself off as he realized that he didn't have time to sit there and apologize to the guy. If everything worked out, he'd try to go back and find him, at least pay for his concessions, but at the moment, Blaine's only concern was chasing down Kurt and figuring out what the hell was going on.

Blaine was trying to keep up with Kurt as he loped along. Kurt was moving in a way that Blaine had never seen him, or any other human being move before. It was animalistic and primitive, much like the noises of fright he was making every couple of seconds. Heads turned in the crowded lobby, but this time Kurt made a beeline for the exit. The day was turning to dusk, but it was still light enough for Blaine to be able to track Kurt. Even with his strange way of running, he was still keeping ahead of Blaine and didn't appear to be slowing down any time soon.

For the first few minutes, Blaine kept trying to call out to Kurt, but eventually he realized that it was making things worse since Kurt obviously wasn't Kurt at the moment and he seemed to be terrified at the idea of someone chasing him. At that point, he decided to move as quietly as possible behind Kurt, hoping that he would give him the impression that he wasn't being followed anymore.

As they made their way down town on foot, Kurt was thankfully starting to slow down a bit and Blaine matched his speed to maintain a distance from him, but still keep his eye on him. Eventually, Kurt rounded a corner and disappeared. Blaine knew that the alley he turned onto was a dead end and therefore, he decided to wait a minute before entering. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten him and set him off running again.

After a few minutes of silence passed, Blaine tentatively called in from around the corner.

"Kurt? A-are you okay?"

Blaine didn't get any response for several moments and was about to walk in when a figure appeared out of the alley. Blaine immediately knew who it was and was instantly relieved.

"Gina?" he asked.

"Of course it's me, silly, who else?" she giggled.

"What, what happened?" Blaine asked, allowing himself to rest his hands on his knees and pant to catch his breath. "What was that?"

"Oh, that was Gimme, he's quite the little misbehaver isn't he?" Gina answered, waving the question off.

"Gimme?" Blaine repeated, trying to clear up the confusion suddenly clouding his brain. "Is Gimme new?"

"Heavens, no!" Gina answered in mock exclamation. "Gimme has always been here, we just are usually better at containing the rascal that's all."

Blaine didn't know how to respond to that. He gave himself a few more minutes to catch his breath and Gina waited patiently.

"I think I need to get you home," Blaine finally spoke once he'd regained full use of his lungs. He extended his arm for Gina and they began walking back in the direction of the theater.

"Jeepers, I was really looking forward to seeing that dancing movie," she lamented as they passed the various downtown storefronts.

"Me too, but something tells me we aren't exactly welcome back there tonight."

"Well, that Gimme, he sure knows how to make a mess." Gina shook her head.

"You're right about that," Blaine mumbled. How in the world was he going to explain all this to Burt.

* * *

><p>"Hey guys, you're back early," Burt greeted as Blaine and Gina walked in the front door.<p>

"Well, I must say, Blaine here was the perfect gentleman tonight," Gina exclaimed. "He even got me home at a respectable hour."

"Gina," Burt acknowledged with an air of suspicion and confusion. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Well, things got a little out of control at the picture show with Gimme, and well, someone had to step in and smooth out the wrinkles, and who better than me? Now boys, if you don't mind, I'm going to retire for the evening. Blaine, dear, I had a wonderful time, maybe we can go for bowling and milkshakes next time!"

With that, she bounced down the hallway to the staircase and began happily singing to herself as she climbed.

"Who the hell is Gimme?" Burt turned to Blaine to ask.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Blaine answered. "I think it's a new alter, although Gina explained that he's always been there, but the others are usually able to contain him."

"Great," Burt muttered. "So what happened?"

Blaine explained everything, from the moment they sat down until the chase ended at the alleyway. Blaine could tell by Burt's expression that he had never experienced anything like this with Kurt before.

"I should have known things weren't okay after we talked today," Burt groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. "He was too quiet, too…I don't know, un-Kurtlike."

"He was quiet in the car, but he told me he didn't want to talk about it," Blaine confessed, hoping with some small part of him that Burt would explain what their conversation had been about.

"You did good tonight, son," Burt said, clapping his hand on Blaine's shoulder. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, but I'm just glad that he's safe back here now," Blaine answered, slightly disappointed that Burt didn't expound on the prior conversation, but he was determined not to push the issue.

"Yeah, well, I better get upstairs to check on him…or her. I don't know, with the amount of running you said you two did, I wouldn't be surprised if he was passed out on the bed right now."

Burt and Blaine said their goodbyes and Blaine reluctantly headed out of the house to go back to Dalton. Meanwhile, Burt climbed the stairs and had his answer before he even reached Kurt's room. He could hear the soft snoring coming down the hallway and sure enough, when he reached the doorway, he saw his son, still fully dressed, passed out upon the bed.

Burt stood there for a few minutes, just watching his son, wondering what the hell was going on inside that brain of his. Hopefully by the time morning came, Burt would have more answers. He could only hope that Kurt would have some memory of Gimme. If not, Burt had no idea where to go from there, but there was definitely something about this new alter that put him on edge, even more so than Gina, Conrad and Jamie combined.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Thanks for reading.<strong>


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Hey everyone, I love the responses I got to the last chapter, but I wanted to let you all know for those of you who've never watched Tara: Gimme ('give me') is straight out of US of Tara. I can't take any credit. I've tried as best as I can to create original alters that are similar to the ones from Tara, but are tailored specifically to Kurt and his trauma, but there's no changing Gimme. For those of you who want to know more about this new alter, stay tuned because Gimme will be back in the future.**

**I know this chapter is pretty short, but there's a lot of angst and a lot to digest. Thanks for reading as always.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 40<p>

The first thing Kurt was aware of was the pounding in his head that caused him to wince with every heartbeat. Bed, he was definitely in bed. His bed, even, he could tell by the flannel sheets he'd just switched over to in anticipation of winter. The room was pitch black when he finally hazarded to open his eyes and a quick glance at his alarm clock told him it was four o'clock in the morning. Sitting up and then laying back down again when the pain in his temples magnified, he searched through his memory to try and figure out where he last left off.

He went to the movies with Blaine, things were tense because of Kurt's conversation with his father, and then when they got there, there were some jerks sitting behind them. The lights dimmed, the previews started and then…then what? Walking arm in arm with Blaine, but it wasn't Kurt, he knew that much. It was Gina, probably, from the way she sashayed, he remembered that. It wasn't always Gina though, there was something before, something in-between Kurt and Gina, but as much as Kurt struggled to remember, he couldn't.

Rolling over to force his feet on the floor, he made himself sit up and then stand up. He wasn't tired, in fact he was wide awake and he had to do something about that headache if his day was going to be even the least bit productive.

As he shuffled over to the stairs, he noticed a glowing yellow light emanating from the living room. Who could possibly be up at this hour on a Saturday morning? He had his answer as he rounded the base of the stairs and saw his father sitting in his favorite chair, looking more worn out than he had since Kurt's accident. He didn't notice Kurt as he padded into the room and stood before him.

"Dad?" he called out quietly, wringing his hands.

"Hey kiddo," Burt looked up with a combination of surprise and relief. "How ya feeling?"

"I'm fine, I just have a nasty headache," Kurt said, lowering himself to the couch beside his father's chair. "Why are you up this early? Or late, did you even go to sleep last night?"

Burt grunted, getting up from the chair and heading into the kitchen to retrieve a couple of aspirin and a glass of water for his son.

"I just have a lot on my mind, but nothing for you to worry about, okay?" he answered. Kurt didn't miss that he didn't answer his question about whether he'd been to bed at all. To Kurt, that indicated that he hadn't.

"Dad, if it's about me, then it is for me to worry about," Kurt said, trying to stay calm. It scared him when his father looked and acted like this. He wouldn't make it in this world if his father had another heart attack and wasn't as lucky the second time around. Burt returned to the living room and handed the aspirin and water to Kurt, who accepted with a nod and washed the pills down with several gulps before placing the glass back on the table.

"What do you remember about last night?" Burt relented. Despite wanting to shield his son from everything bad in the world, Kurt was right. He needed his participation if they were ever going to find the answers they needed.

Kurt explained everything he recalled when he woke up, about the near silent car ride to the theater, the bullies behind them, feeling a vague presence with Gina and so forth.

"But there's something I'm missing," Kurt continued. "There's a chunk of time when I was just completely gone, like I used to be, and I…I just don't know."

"Kurt," Burt started, taking a deep breath. "I hate to tell you this, but I think there may be a new alter."

Kurt cast his eyes downward and tried to fight off the tears. He'd been pushing that possibility to the back of his mind ever since he woke up, but now that it was confirmed, he couldn't hide his feelings of disappointment and frustration any longer.

"Son—"

"What's his name?" Kurt cut him off, looking up at his father with watery eyes and a forced smile. "Or her name? Is it a child or a geriatric? An electrician or maybe a prostitute? Did you have to come rescue me from the county jail again?"

"Kurt, calm down, use your breathing," Burt spoke softly and wearily. He wasn't sure he could handle another transition at this point. He was so tired, not just from being up all night, but just from life in general. This wasn't the way things were supposed to go in life.

Kurt settled back on the couch and tried to calm himself. His father was right, getting agitated wasn't going to help matters.

"To answer your questions," Burt began again after a few minutes had passed, and Kurt looked considerably calmer. "I don't know. From what Blaine described—"

"Oh my God…" Kurt groaned, rubbing his face. Great, just when he had made it such a big deal that Blaine not be involved with his alters, Kurt went and debuted a new one right in front of him. Perfect.

"He said that Gina referred to…it…as 'Gimme'."

"Gimme?" Kurt peeked out from his splayed fingers. "What does that even mean? That's not a name, that's a…I don't even know what it is. Anyway, what about Gimme?"

"Well," Burt started, not really knowing what to say. In the end he decided just to tell Kurt exactly what Blaine told him.

"So, let me get this straight," Kurt spoke once his father finished the colorful description Blaine had provided to him. "Gimme didn't speak, just made weird groans and grunts, it ran around the theater, knocking some poor guy over and loping all over downtown Lima before being chased down into an alleyway by my _boyfriend_?"

"Um, yeah, give or take a few grunts," Burt smiled, trying to lighten the mood. One look at his son's face told him that was a bad idea. "Listen kiddo, we'll get this figured out, it's okay and everything will be alright."

Kurt was silent, staring into the space to the left of his father's chair. Burt wanted to ask if he was okay, if he wanted to go back and try to get some more sleep and talk about things in a few hours when he had time to let everything settle. But he decided to wait until Kurt was ready to talk, which ended up taking a good ten minutes.

"I think you should send me somewhere," he spoke quietly, but with a firm determination.

"What do you mean?"

"I think you should send me somewhere," he repeated, nodding his head slowly, gaze still transfixed on whatever he'd been watching since taking in the description of Gimme. "Somewhere that can take care of me, and…give you a break for a while."

"Kurt, that's—"

"No, listen to me," Kurt interrupted, finally shifting his eyes to lock in with Burt's. "You can't keep doing this, it's going to kill you and that will kill me. We aren't going to survive like this."

"You are my son, Kurt," Burt spoke, his voice shaky with anger and grief. "I am not going to lock you away somewhere because of something you have no control over. We will work through this together, and we will make it, I promise you."

"Don't you see, Dad?" Kurt asked sadly, tears freely flowing. "It's not getting any better. I see you, every day, doing everything you can to try to fix me, but I'm afraid I'm not fixable. I c-can't sit here and watch you slowly kill yourself because of me anymore."

Kurt didn't wait for an answer before getting up and climbing the stairs to his room. Closing the door behind him softly, he booted up his laptop and began searching for somewhere to go. There had to be something out there, someone who could help him. It was his last hope, and if it didn't work, it would at least release his dad.

In that moment, Kurt wanted nothing more than to see his dad happy and healthy again. If it meant that he had to remove himself from his life, he was willing to do it. It tore him apart, but he would do it, because the alternative wasn't something Kurt could bear to think about.

* * *

><p><em><strong>EDIT: It's been brought to my attention that my story is following a similar path to another DID Kurt fic out there. I've heard of the other story, but I haven't read it yet because I don't want to unintentionally borrow from someone else's work (except of course, from Glee and US of Tara). That being said, there are bound to be similarities in stories that revolve around the same character dealing with the same specific condition. I hope you'll take me at my word when I say that I would never, ever steal from another fic. Thanks for reading and for your support.<strong>_


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: So, I hadn't planned on updating so soon, but I realized that we haven't heard from the Dalton boys for awhile, so I thought we'd check in with them. I'll try to update again later in the week. Thanks for reading!**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 41<p>

"So they're in Chicago for how long?" Jeff asked through a mouthful of food. He and Nick sat opposite of Blaine at their usual table in the lunchroom.

"Well, they're headed up there right now," Blaine answered, glancing at his watch. "And it's going to be somewhere between two and four weeks, depending on how well he progresses, I guess."

"Shit, that's a long time," Nick said, eyes growing large. "Are you gonna go see him at all?"

"I don't know," Blaine shook his head ambivalently. "I mean, I definitely want to, but from what he told me about it, it's pretty intense. His dad will be in the program for supportive family members and they won't even get to spend much time together except for during therapy sessions."

It was Monday, a little over a week since the debacle at the movie theater with Gimme, and despite Burt's reluctance, Kurt found a program that would not only work for him, but had a program his dad could attend as well. It was their compromise, or according to Burt, the lesser of two evils. Kurt had pretty much made up his mind that he was checking himself into a program and it was up to Burt whether he wanted to participate with him.

Blaine was definitely going to miss Kurt, but there was some small part of him that was relieved. Kurt was finally going somewhere that could hopefully help him and keep him safe. It was crazy to think that Kurt had become such a danger to himself. When they'd talked on the phone over the weekend, Kurt kept going on and on about how he was doing all this in order to make everyone else's lives easier, but what he didn't seem to get, and what Blaine couldn't keep out of his mind, was that Kurt needed to do this for himself.

Kurt might not have known it, but everyone around him could see it. They were going to lose him if he didn't get his DID under control. The weight was starting to fall off again and his sleep patterns were so screwed up that he hardly knew what day it was. It had gotten a lot worse in the week prior, right after the incident with Gimme. A day didn't go by when he didn't transition at least once if not more. Burt had him on near constant lockdown and most of the times when Kurt was lucid, he was so foggy and exhausted, it was like he wasn't even there.

Something had to happen, and it had to happen soon. No one in Kurt's life could handle much more, especially Kurt himself.

"Hey, um, can I talk to you guys for a minute?"

Nick, Jeff and Blaine all exchanged glances. None of them had to look up from the table to know who'd spoken from behind Blaine. Nick and Jeff shot a look to Blaine, giving him the reins to handle the situation. Blaine took a deep breath before turning around.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Sebastian," he said, as evenly as he could muster.

"Look, it won't take long," Sebastian reasoned with a pleading, if somewhat muted tone. "I, my lawyer told me not to speak to anyone, but I…I need to get something off my chest. Please, just hear me out."

Blaine stared at him for several more seconds, trying to get a read of the other boy. He certainly looked sincere, but everyone at that table knew how deceptive he could really be. By way of answer, Blaine relented by pulling his satchel off of the chair next to his and placed it on the ground by his feet. Sebastian looked relieved and pulled the chair away from the table slightly before sitting down.

"Well?" Jeff prompted after the four of them sat in awkward silence for a moment. That seemed to rattle Sebastian out of his nervous silence.

"I just wanted to say," he started measuredly. "That I am…sorry, for, for everything that I've done to you guys. Nick, I owe you a big apology for outing you to your family. I realize how awful that must have been, and I never should have taken that decision away from you. I feel terrible."

"I don't believe you," Nick answered simply. Both Blaine and Jeff were surprised. Nick was about the most forgiving person on the planet, but it turned out there were some things that even he deemed unforgivable.

"I understand why you wouldn't," Sebastian assured. "After everything I've done, I wouldn't believe me either, but maybe in the future sometime, maybe then…never mind. If you never forgive me, that's okay, but I want you to know that I am sorry, more than I can put into words."

Nick eyed him suspiciously as Jeff squeezed his hand under the table. Jeff could feel the slight tremble in Nick's hand and he knew that it was taking every ounce of his energy to hold himself together. Jeff was never more proud of him than in that moment.

"And Blaine," Sebastian began again, turning slightly to face his former love interest. "I wish I could tell this to Kurt in person, but I know that's not going to happen, at least not for a very long time. I am so ashamed of what I did. I know that it doesn't make it okay, but I had no intentions of causing him any physical harm—"

"But emotional and psychological harm are okay?" Blaine cut him off, anger boiling closely to his surface. "It was okay to toy with him, to use me against him when you knew, _you knew_ what he was struggling with?"

"No, that wasn't okay—"

"Do you have even the slightest clue about what you really did? It's not about the car, it's not even about the physical injuries that are still not completely healed. He had been trying so hard to make it through each and every day, every moment that the rest of us take for granted and because of your selfishness and your psychotic control issues, you made him a victim again."

"Blaine, I…" Sebastian's mouth hung open slightly. It wasn't like him to be at a loss for words and he should have anticipated this kind of reaction from Blaine, but it didn't make it any easier.

"I caused Kurt a lot of unnecessary pain. He was completely innocent in this whole situation and I took everything I was feeling out on him. I mean, yeah, he did attack me, but I know that wasn't him. The truth is, I was, um…I was really jealous of Kurt because I felt like he had everything that I wanted. He had you, he had the Warblers. Hell, he doesn't even go here anymore and Dean Parker took up for him more than me. I know that none of that excuses my behavior, it doesn't even come close.

"I've had a lot of time to think about everything, what with my lawyer telling me not to talk to anyone and no one wanting to be friends with me here anyway, and I feel worse and worse about it every day. I wish more than anything I could take it all back…but I can't. So all I can offer is my sincere apologies and hope that they're worth something someday."

"If you were really sorry," Blaine answered immediately. "You'd plead guilty to your charges and take whatever punishment you're given."

"I plan on it," Sebastian said quietly, fixating his stare on the table in front of him. "My lawyer keeps stalling things in court with motions and continuances, but as soon as I'm allowed in front of the judge, I plan on entering a guilty plea. My dad will kill me, but I'll deserve that."

"No one deserves that," Nick answered firmly. Jeff looked at him with surprise. He couldn't tell if Nick was showing compassion or if he was reminding Sebastian of how his actions led to his own father beating him, but if Jeff knew Nick at all, which he liked to think he did, he was willing to bet it was the former.

"In any case," Sebastian spoke as he started to get up from the table. "I'm sorry, to all of you, and I hope that someday you'll know that I'm sincere when I say that."

Blaine didn't watch him go. Instead, he turned back around and stared hard at the table. There were so many emotions rolling through him, it was hard to pick just one and analyze it.

"Blaine," Jeff prodded gently. "Are you okay? You're shaking."

"Yeah, I'm just…it's a lot to digest, that's all."

"Tell me about it," Nick agreed, squeezing Jeff's hand tighter below the table before resuming his lunch.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you want to do this? Because we can turn around and be home by dinner time."<p>

"Yes, Dad, for the millionth time, I'm sure."

"Okay, because—"

"Dad," Kurt cut him off sternly. "You promised you'd be supportive. I'm going to do this whether you're with me or not. I'd rather you be _with_ me, but my involvement is not up for discussion."

Burt sighed heavily. They had been sitting in the parking lot of Fairview Institute for ten minutes, trying to work up the nerve to go inside. Well, Kurt was ready from the moment the engine was turned off, it was Burt who needed more convincing.

"You're right," Burt admitted. "I'm sorry, but you know me. I'm not good at this, you know, emotional stuff."

"I know," Kurt answered, more gently this time. "That's why you're here with me. To learn."

"What if it doesn't work?"

Burt regretted saying it the minute the words were out of his mouth, but it was honestly all he could think about ever since Kurt had approached him with it.

"Dad, you can't think about it that way," Kurt sighed. "It's going to work, it has to."

_And if it doesn't?_ Burt asked himself. But it didn't matter that he didn't voice it out loud, the unspoken question hung heavy in the early afternoon air.

"There's no other option."


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: I'm going to be really honest. This chapter isn't super exciting, but it is necessary in building for future (more interesting) chapters. Also, it explains a little more about Gimme and why Gimme may have surfaced. Thanks for reading.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Kurt**

* * *

><p>Chapter 42<p>

"So I finally realized that I was internalizing the things that Jerry's alters were saying to me and once I discovered that, it was a lot easier to make the changes I needed to make in order to cope."

Burt fought the urge to roll his eyes as he watched the overly talkative woman across from him in the circle. It was his second day at Fairview, but really it was the first full day. When he and Kurt arrived yesterday afternoon, they'd spent the rest of the day filling out paperwork and attending orientation sessions. The building was split down the middle, half for the patients and half for their family members who were attending the support sessions.

Now Burt found himself in his first group session, surrounded by eight other family members and a therapist, who had introduced himself as Gary. As the others chirped on, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty for not participating, but at the same time, he felt completely out of his element.

"Burt," the therapist spoke up after a lull in the conversation, breaking him away from his thoughts. "You're new to our group, so welcome. Would you care to share with us what it's been like for you having a son with DID?"

"Yeah, okay," Burt answered, sitting up a little straighter. "Where should I start? I guess it's been difficult, you know? Kurt is such a good kid, but his alters are so unpredictable. I wish I knew what to do to, to, well 'fix him' isn't the right-"

"Burt?" the woman who'd been talking earlier interrupted. "I'm sorry to cut in, but you seem to be talking a lot about Kurt and what's wrong with him, when the purpose of this group is to work on ourselves."

"I'm sorry?" Burt asked, confused. "I don't understand-"

"I think what Deborah is trying to say is that we really want to focus on changes we can make in our own lives to help heal ourselves and that will also have a positive effect on our loved ones coping with DID."

Burt just stared at Gary as he spoke, still not quite comprehending what he was saying. Wasn't the whole point of this to help Kurt? Kurt was the one with DID, he was the one who needed all this psycho-babble crap, not him.

"Listen," Burt started again. "All I need is to find out how to make my son better. That's why I'm here. I'm not sure what the rest of you are talking about, but it seems to me that if you're not here for your sons or daughters or spouses or whoever then you're not here for the right reasons."

He looked around the room and saw the others whispering to each other as they watched him and shook their heads.

"It may not make sense right now," Gary spoke calmly, which only irritated Burt more. "But hopefully by the time you have completed the program, you'll understand your role in all this a little better."

Burt had to fight with every ounce of energy not to stand up, tell them all to fuck off and march out of the room. Instead, he let out a heavy sigh through gritted teeth, crossed his arms tightly across his chest and leaned back in his seat, letting the conversation and attention leave him as other group members began to speak. Even thought he was fuming, he reminded himself that he was doing this for Kurt and if he gave up when it got hard, it wouldn't be setting a good example for his son.

He let his mind wander to his son. He hoped that Kurt was having an easier go at it on the other end of the building. Even though he was more skeptical than ever, he hoped more than anything that Kurt was right about this being the fix to his problems.

* * *

><p>"Looking over your records, I see that you've been experiencing a bit of co-consciousness in the past month and a half?"<p>

"Yeah," Kurt answered Dr. Akin, nodding his head. He was sitting cross-legged on the couch across from where the doctor sat in a tall-back chair.

"Tell me a little bit about that," Dr. Akin encouraged, closing the file to give his full attention to Kurt.

"Well, the first time I remember it happening was with Gina. She took over after I got into a fight with my boyfriend. Sorry, that probably isn't relevant, is it?"

"If it comes into your mind, it's relevant," Dr. Akin explained in a kind voice. "There's no need to hold anything back and the more information we have, the more well-rounded we can be in our understanding."

"Okay," Kurt answered, feeling a little relieved. "Anyway, she stayed for almost a week, but when I woke up, I remembered bits and pieces from her making cinnamon rolls one morning. I didn't realize it at first, but I went downstairs and checked the fridge for the cinnamon rolls before I even stopped to think about why I was wanting them."

"That's good," Dr. Akin smiled and Kurt blushed slightly in spite of himself. The doctor was young, kind and very attractive. Kurt thought he could have done a lot worse than him.

"So since that time with Gina," the doctor continued. "Have subsequent experiences been similar? And how often does the co-consciousness occur."

"It's usually a lot like that first time," Kurt explained. "I'll remember wearing something, or parts of conversations that my alters have had with other people, or even each other once or twice. And as far as how often? By now, I experience co-consciousness almost every time. Sometimes more or less, but I can remember at least something after each transition, mostly."

"What about..." Dr. Akin trailed off as he consulted his notes. "What about Gimme? Have you had any co-consciousness with him?"

Kurt drew in a sharp breath. "No, um, not at all. In fact, I don't even know if Gimme is a he. I get the feeling from the other alters that Gimme isn't male or female, Gimme is just...Gimme."

"So all you know about Gimme is what your family has described to you?"

"Yeah and what I can sense from the other alters. Is, is that normal? I mean, for DID?"

"Nothing is abnormal with DID," Dr. Akin explained, closing the file again. "My sense is that Gimme was created in your mind to either deal with something the other alters have stopped being able to help you cope with, or to deal with some new emotions, experiences or uncovered memories that you haven't experienced before."

Kurt took a minute to absorb that.

"So you're saying that my mind has somehow become aware of something and couldn't cope so it split off again into Gimme?"

"Something like that," Dr. Akin agreed. "Until I see Gimme in action, I can only guess, but Gimme sounds like pure id, pure instinct and impulse, something much more primitive and unrefined than your other alters."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kurt asked, frustrated. He could feel his face heating up, but he didn't care.

"We don't know yet, Kurt, but that's what we're here to work on, okay? I'm going to do everything I can to help you work through all this by the time you leave here, but I'm going to need your full cooperation, even when it gets difficult, can you promise me that?"

"Yes," Kurt answered with only a moment's hesitation. "It's my last shot."

Dr. Akin gave him a small smile, but didn't answer. Instead, he wrote something down in his file and then changed the topic from Gimme to Kurt's history with the other alters, something that he was much more comfortable discussing with the doctor.

As the session continued on, Kurt felt more and more relaxed and felt himself placing increasing trust in the doctor and his methods as he explained them. They'd be trying hypnosis, meditation, role playing and other types of therapies, some that he had some experience with an some that were brand new.

By the time the session was over, Kurt was exhausted and famished. He had been hoping that he and his father could eat meals together, but they were told at their joint orientation session the day before that their schedules wouldn't match up for that to be possible. It was designed that way for the first week and although the staff explained why, it still didn't make much sense to Kurt. He was feeling lonely and vulnerable and wanted nothing more than to talk to his dad. Knowing that he was in the same building, yet unreachable, made it even worse.

He was determined to get through it though, and not just that, he was determined to finish the program successfully. Maybe not completely healed, he knew that was unrealistic, but to be in a much better place than he was now. After all, he was The Kurt Hummel, of the Hummels, and he could do anything he put his mind to.

With that thought in his head, he left his session with Dr. Akin, shoulders back, chin high and made his way to the dining room. It was time to stop feeling bad for himself and start taking action.


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: In the interest of full disclosure, I want to make it clear that this chapter heavily borrows from a particular episode of United States of Tara. There really wasn't a way around it and I've tried to change it up enough to make it my own, but just know that I'm trying my best to make this as original a story as possible.**

**Also, I'm in the process of creating accompanying playlists for all of my stories. I'll be posting the soundtracks on my profile page (and hey, I'll be actually creating a profile, too!) so if you're interested, check it out. All songs will be available on Spotify or I-tunes and most of them can probably be found on YouTube as well. If you have any suggestions for additions to any of the playlists, let me know.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 43<p>

"When I first started dissociating after my accident, I thought it was normal for people to wake up in strange places. I was convinced that I had a concussion that the doctors had somehow missed while I was in the hospital that was causing me to lose track of time. Turns out it was the DID."

"Even the simplest questions turned me into a liar. Someone would ask what I did that day and I'd have to make something up, when all I really wanted to say was, 'I don't know, why don't you ask Bobby or Glen or Sandra,' you know? Because my alters had a hell of a better idea of what happened day to day than I did."

Kurt listened as the people around him shared their most vulnerable experiences dealing with DID. It was his first group therapy session and his heart began to race as the conversation circled around to him.

"Hi, I'm Kurt," he greeted, waiting for the echoes of 'Hi Kurt' to die down. "I've been dealing with DID since I was about five or six, but I wasn't officially diagnosed until about three years ago. I guess the worst part about it for me is just feeling like I miss out on so much. This, um, this one time, it was right before Christmas and I must have been eight years old. Anyway, Christmas was always my favorite time, you know? The tree, the lights, the food…I was so excited that every day I wore my evergreen corduroys to school, which, if you know me, you'd know that I don't repeat outfits in a month, let alone in a week. I was just so ready that year. My mom was really sick and I just had this idea that Christmas would make everything better.

"So I waited and waited until one day I woke up and went downstairs and noticed that the tree was gone and so were all the decorations. It was a completely different house from when I went to bed the night before. I went and woke my parents up to ask them what happened and that's when they told me.

"It was late January. I'd missed over a month and Christmas was long gone. I was heartbroken, inconsolable. What made it even worse was that it was the last Christmas…the last Christmas my mom was alive. I never got that experience with her again."

There were small gasps of pity and someone was patting Kurt's back as he tried to keep his composure. He cleared his throat, determined not to cry.

"Sorry," he said with a small smile, trying to keep his chin from quivering. "It's just been a long time since I thought about that."

His therapist nodded at him and smiled, allowing him a few more seconds before steering the conversation away from him and on to the next person. Kurt was grateful for that. He wasn't quite as comfortable with this therapist as he'd grown with Dr. Akin over the last few days, but everyone he came in contact with at Fairview seemed friendly and trustworthy. It was also very encouraging for him to see that he wasn't the only person in the world struggling with DID. The antics of his own alters, Conrad in particular, paled compared to some of the other patients around him. One girl woke up from a transition in the middle of a skydive, which would have been frightening enough, but the girl was deathly afraid of heights and falling. Unfortunately, this particular alter was not.

After the group therapy session, Kurt found himself in another one on one meeting with Dr. Akin. They were trying hypnosis for the third time and each time had been unsuccessful in bringing out any of the alters. Kurt was beginning to grow incredibly frustrated.

"I just don't understand," he said, exasperated, leaning back against the couch. "I've never known them to be particularly shy."

"Well, I'm a new person," Dr. Akin reasoned patiently. "They just don't trust me yet, that's all."

"But I trust you," Kurt answered. "I trust you and the whole reason they exist is to protect me, so shouldn't they trust you too?"

"We just have to give it time," Dr. Akin chuckled. Kurt could feel his face heat up with embarrassment. Not only was he unable to transition for the one and only time in his life when he actually wanted to, but now his cute doctor was laughing at him and his frustration.

"Look, you can do this Kurt," he continued. "You've experienced co-consciousness, so I'm confident that we'll eventually get there. Once we can get you to transition and I can spend some time with your alters, I'm positive we can get to the root of where all this is coming from."

"Okay," Kurt answered meekly, not looking up from his hands folded in his lap.

"I want to try something different, if you're okay with it."

Kurt glanced up at Dr. Akin and waited for him to continue.

"Sodium Pentathol," he explained. "It's what you may have heard referred to as 'truth serum.' It's a barbiturate that will kind of act like a chemical form of hypnosis. I think it might be easier to reach your alters going this route. Is this something you're willing to try?"

"Yeah," Kurt answered immediately, ignoring the sick feeling that had suddenly plagued his stomach. "I mean, if you think it'll work. Like I said, I trust you."

"Good," Dr. Akin smiled. "Why don't we try that tomorrow morning. In the meantime, it's just about dinnertime and if you'll remember, it's Thursday night, which means you'll have the opportunity to eat with your dad."

Kurt sat up straighter and smiled. He'd completely forgotten about that, but was incredibly excited to see his dad for the first time since they first arrived earlier in the week.

* * *

><p>Dr. Akin ended the session several minutes later and Kurt all but ran to the cafeteria. He grinned widely when he spotted Burt already sitting at a little table in the corner of the room waiting for him, back turned from the entrance where Kurt arrived.<p>

"Dad!" he greeted loudly as he approached. Burt immediately stood up, turned around and gathered his son into a hug.

"Hey, kiddo, long time, no see," he said, grinning wide enough to match his son. "How are they treating you over there?"

"Good," Kurt answered honestly, drawing away from the hug so he could look at his father. "Really good, actually. I'm learning a lot. How about you?"

"Well," Burt started, motioning for Kurt to sit down and then doing the same. "You know, it's different than what I'm used to, but I guess it's going okay. So how long until you're cured?"

"Dad," Kurt mock-scolded him as Burt smiled at his own joke. "You know it's not like that, right? This is the beginning of a process. I'm laying the solid foundation here so that when I go home, I can keep building on it until I've overcome my DID."

"I'm not sure what all that means," Burt answered. "But I hope for both of our sakes that your foundation goes up in record time, because at six thousand bucks a week, the foundation is all we're going to be able to afford."

Kurt didn't answer. He already felt bad about the amount of money this was costing his father and it wasn't like there wasn't already a ton of pressure on him to begin with.

"Hey, kid, I'm sorry," Burt apologized, noticing the quick change in mood in his son. "I was just kidding around. We will do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, to get you back where you belong, okay? And as long as you're working as hard as you can, that's all I can ask for."

Kurt smiled and nodded by way of accepting his apology and they enjoyed the rest of their dinner together, talking about their different experiences since they'd arrived. Kurt told his dad about the Sodium Pentathol therapy session that was to occur the next day, explaining verbatim what the doctor told him.

"I'm not so sure I like the idea of that," Burt answered after Kurt finished explaining.

"It's completely safe, dad, Dr. Akin uses it all the time, he said."

"Alright, then," Burt relented reluctantly. "He's the one with the fancy degree, I suppose. Just make sure you talk to me tomorrow afterward so that I know you're okay."

"I will, dad," Kurt promised.

Once they finished the meal, they shared a long hug and both men made their ways back to their respective wings. Kurt spent the rest of the evening in the community room, watching television with some of the other patients and trying to keep his mind off of the therapy session for the next day.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Kurt, Vanessa is going to insert your IV now and I want you to count back from one hundred."<p>

Kurt winced slightly as the needle entered his arm, but then began to count. He made it to ninety-two before his speech began to slur and he was out by ninety. Dr. Akin made a notation in his file before leaning in.

"Okay," he said quietly but firmly. "If there's anyone in there who has a memory of something bad that happened to Kurt when he was a little boy, will you please come talk to me?"

Dr. Akin watched as Kurt breathed heavily, head down and obviously unconscious.

"Is there anyone—"

Suddenly, Kurt's head shot up and his eyes opened.

"And why the hell should I talk to you?"

The southern drawl and the posture that Kurt adopted, in addition to the bored look on his face, told the doctor who he was likely speaking to.

"Conrad, is that you?"

"Hell yeah it's me, the one and only. Now is there a point to all this or what? Because there are some fine lookin' women in this joint that I've had my eye on from day one."

* * *

><p>Three hours later, Dr. Akin found himself in the community room with Conrad and the rest of the patients while Conrad challenged some of the guys to an arm wrestling competition. Half a dozen patients were crowded around the table while Conrad overpowered patient after patient. Some of them were lucid and others were in a dissociative state themselves, but all of them seemed drawn to him.<p>

"So Conrad, am I right in assuming you no longer want to continue therapy sessions with me?"

"That's right, Doc," Conrad said through gritted teeth as he slammed his opponent's arm to the table. "I ain't got nothin' else to say to you. Now if you want to send Nurse Vanessa to my room for some private 'therapy sessions' then I won't stop you, if you catch my drift. Who's next?"

Dr. Akin watched as the next person in line sat down across from Conrad and he resumed his ongoing winning streak.

"Okay, then," Dr. Akin agreed, sitting down in a chair next to him. "I'll just hang out with you then."

"Suit yourself," Conrad shrugged. "But don't expect me to get all mushy, ooey-gooey, feely or some shit like that. I ain't no girl."

Dr. Akin nodded and sat quietly observing Conrad as he continued to be the life of the party, telling jokes and hitting on the female patients. Conrad may not be talking to him, but just having him there was going to help the doctor out a lot and he hoped that eventually he'd earn Conrad's trust enough to get some answers out of him.

OOO

"So what," Burt spoke, frustration edging his words. "I'm supposed to see this as a breakthrough? Do you realize how much I'm paying for this? I could see the Conrad Show at home just about any day of the week."

He stood with his arms folded tightly over his chest as he and Dr. Akin watched Conrad through the two-way mirror that looked into the community room. He was currently lounging on a couch, a leggy female patient in his lap as they made-out with complete abandon. The mental health technician working that shift had already broken them up at least five times, but eventually gave up, deciding that if the clothes started to come off, he'd call in reinforcements. So far, so good.

"I know it doesn't seem like it," Dr. Akin reasoned patiently. "But I needed Kurt to transition so that I could get some information from his alters. The whole reason they exist is to hold the memories that Kurt can't face on his own. I'm not trying to brag, Mr. Hummel, but I have a lot of experience in the area of DID."

"Yeah, that's why we're here," Burt muttered. "Best in the country, according to Kurt."

"Well," Dr. Akin answered, a bit flustered. "In any case, I'm asking you to trust me here, that I know what I'm doing. I will get some answers."

"Well it better be soon," Burt said. "I can't afford ten weeks of this."

"I have the feeling we're on the edge of a breakthrough," Dr. Akin assured honestly. "I imagine that within the next few days, we'll be able to recover some memories about what happened. Let me just make sure I have this right, you're fairly certain that whatever happened involved a guy by the name of Mark Szabo, correct?"

"Monster's more like it," Burt answered through gritted teeth. "Yeah."

"Well that's where we'll start tomorrow," Dr. Akin clapped him reassuringly on the shoulder. "And I'll get word to you of the results as soon as I know something."

Burt nodded and spoke with the doctor for a few more minutes before retiring back to his wing of the hospital. He knew he was being defensive with the doctor and as much as he wanted Kurt to get better, he was terrified of the path it would take to get there.

For the first time in years, Burt found himself earnestly praying to God that Kurt would survive this process in one piece.


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: My apologies for this chapter being so short, but hopefully I'll have another one up in the next few days. Also, shameless plug: for anyone who read Dead Like Kurt, I plan on publishing a one-shot sequel at some point this weekend to tie up a few remaining loose ends. I'm not sure what the title will be, but keep an eye out for it or check my profile in the next few days. Also, I've added a few songs to the playlists of all the stories over the week. Okay, shameless plug over. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee**

* * *

><p>Chapter 44<p>

"Have you talked to him at all?" Blaine asked, subconsciously biting his lower lip while he waited for an answer.

"No, he hasn't called," Finn answered. He was sitting on the living room couch after school, talking to Blaine on the house phone.

"Well, what did Burt say when you talked to him last?"

"I don't know dude," Finn sighed. "He just sounded really stressed out and said he was ready to come home. Apparently Conrad's been running the place for the past three days."

Blaine drew in a deep breath and released it. He didn't want to bombard Burt with phone calls while they were away, so he relied on updates from Finn. And Finn wasn't the best at remembering details.

"Do you think they're coming home soon?"

"No idea, dude. Honestly, I wish I could tell you more, but I just don't know. All I know is that things are really stressful around here and I don't expect them to get any better when Burt and Kurt do get home. I'm starting to get the impression from Burt that he thinks this is a giant waste of time."

"But Kurt's been working so hard," Blaine countered, knowing that there was no point in trying to convince Finn. "Burt can't just give up on him."

The line was silent for a moment and Blaine was worried that the call had dropped.

"Finn?" he called out tentatively.

"Okay, no offense Blaine, but you really don't have any idea what this is like for Burt, or for me and my mom. I mean, yeah, you're his boyfriend and you see him on the weekends or whatever, but you don't live with him day in and day out. You don't see how hard it is for Burt and my mom when he's transitioning four or five times a day. It's exhausting and I don't think it's right for you to sit there and say what Burt should and shouldn't do."

Blaine was completely taken aback. He wanted to be mad at Finn, but he knew he was right. Blaine liked to think that he knew what it was like, and if he was being honest with himself, after learning so many lessons the hard way, he was still prone to giving himself the occasional pat on the back for being with Kurt. Having it laid out for him by Finn was definitely humbling. If he was with Kurt for any other reason than because he loved him and couldn't be without him, then he wasn't with him for the right reasons and he was determined to be with Kurt.

"You're right, Finn," he answered after a moment to gather his thoughts into words. "I don't know what that's like and I'm sorry. I guess I'm just scared, you know? I just want Kurt to be happy and healthy and I'm scared that it's not going to happen."

"I know," Finn answered quietly. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, dude. Like I said, it's been really stressful around here, not knowing…"

"Yeah," Blaine answered, filling the void where Finn trailed off. "So, um, I know I've been bugging you a lot and I appreciate the updates more than you know. Will you call me if you hear anything?"

"Sure thing, Blaine."

Blaine hung up the phone after saying goodbye and lied back down on his dorm room bed. It was killing him not to be able to talk to Kurt, especially knowing how bad the treatment was going. He reminded himself that Kurt was strong, that Kurt could do anything he put his mind to. He just hoped the alters would let him.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Conrad."<p>

Dr. Akin dropped his head into his hand, unable to hide his weariness and frustration from the past few days. Conrad had held true to his words. He was done talking with Dr. Akin, and as much as he tried to earn Conrad's trust, nothing seemed to be working.

With Burt Hummel breathing down his neck about the cost of treatment and the fact that no progress was being made, Dr. Akin was throwing in the towel. He'd never met a patient he couldn't help and as reluctant as he was to give up on Kurt, he just didn't see how he was going to be able to keep him any longer.

"So, are we done here then?" Conrad said angrily, arms crossed defensively. He was visibly fuming after repeatedly telling the doctor that he didn't know anything about some guy named Mark, although Dr. Akin suspected he did. It didn't matter how the doctor phrased it, whenever he mentioned Mark's name, there was always a flicker in Conrad's eyes, a subtle change in his expression, but as soon as it appeared, it was gone.

"Not quite," Dr. Akin sighed. "I've invited your father here for a joint session and he should be here in just a minute."

"My father? Ain't no way, man, my father went to the gas station for a pack of cigarettes when I was three and never looked back. Don't know who you're talkin' about."

"Burt," Dr. Akin answered, mentally kicking himself for the mistake. "Burt Hummel will be joining us."

"Oh, yeah, my bowling buddy," Conrad nodded. "But don't think I'm gonna talk just because he's here, I already told you, I ain't got nothin' to say to you."

Mercifully, there was a knock at the door and after the doctor called for him to come in, Burt entered the room warily.

"Burt," Dr. Akin greeted, standing briefly and motioning to the couch where Conrad sat. "Please, have a seat."

"Dr. Akin," Burt greeted back gruffly, and with a bit of suppressed anger, "Conrad."

"Hey old man," Conrad greeted playfully, but one look at Burt told him that that probably wasn't the right approach.

"So," Dr. Akin cut in, before things got too heated. "As you and I have discussed, Burt, I've been doing everything I can to try to get Conrad to cooperate with me—"

"Yeah, well it looks like your best isn't good enough, Doc, just like I suspected."

"I think that Conrad—"

"Can we cut the bullshit?" Burt interrupted, anger rising exponentially by the second. He was a man at the end of his rope. "I've been sitting here with nothing to do over the past week but sit and listen to the helpless, pitiful family members in this program with me moan and groan about how nothing is ever going to get better. And to have them tell me to just lie down and accept that Kurt, _my son_, is going to continue to deteriorate and there's nothing I can do about it? I don't think so."

"Burt—"

"No, I'm done talking to you," Burt snapped, causing Dr. Akin to flinch, before he turned to Conrad on the couch next to him. "Kurt, this has to stop. We need to stop doing this."

"I don't know who you think you're talking to, buddy. The name's Conrad."

"Fine, Conrad." Burt spit the name through gritted teeth. "I need you to leave my son alone so that he can live the life he deserves. You're making no effort here. None of you are. Not you or the other alters and certainly not Kurt. Why the hell are we here Conrad?"

Conrad turned his head away, refusing to make eye contact with Burt.

"Hey!" Burt shouted. "I asked you a question!"

Conrad still ignored him, training his focus on a tree outside Dr. Akin's window.

"You know what?" Burt said, quieter this time, but still very upset. "You tell Kurt that I'm done here. I'm driving back to Lima, tonight. If he wants to stay, then fine, he's got money in his trust, but I'm not doing this anymore."

Dr. Akin watched helplessly as Burt stood up and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Turning to Conrad, he was alarmed at first when he saw the boy slightly slumped over, until he saw Conrad's eyes flutter. After a few minutes he lifted his head and when he did, it was obvious that Conrad was gone and Kurt was back.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah," Kurt answered, looking visibly shaken and on the verge of tears.

"Are you okay? Do you remember anything from the past few days?" Dr. Akin wasn't prepared for this. If there was going to be a transition, he expected it to be one of the other alters, not the host.

"I need to go find my dad," Kurt answered in a wavering voice. He got up from the couch and hurried quickly to the door.

Thankfully, Dr. Akin's office was at the end of the hall, so Burt could only have gone one way. Kurt jogged, despite the heavy weight of his limbs, desperately hoping to catch up with his father. He'd experienced more co-consciousness over the past few days then he'd ever had in the past, and he remembered the conversation that just took place with amazing clarity.

"Dad!" he shouted as he rounded a corner and his father's retreating figure came into view. He continued jogging toward him, thankful that'd Burt stopped and even more thankful when he turned around to wait for him.

"Dad," he repeated breathlessly when he finally caught up to him. He was expecting something from his father, maybe more yelling, or if he was lucky, maybe he'd draw him into a hug. But the elder Hummel just looked at him with a blank, tired expression that told Kurt that his own father had thrown in the towel. That hurt more than anything and Kurt wasn't willing to accept it. Before he knew what he was saying, the words were out of his mouth.

"I want to find Mark."

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? Thanks for reading.<strong>


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: Well, we flew right past 300 reviews on the last chapter and I'm so blown away by that. Thanks everyone for all of your support. This story is getting really long and the end is still quite a ways off from what I'm envisioning, so thank you to everyone who's stuck with this and put in the time and energy to read. It means the world to me!**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 45<p>

Three days later, Kurt and Burt found themselves driving back to Lima, ready to seek out Mark in earnest. Burt wanted to discharge Kurt earlier, but debriefing after the four day long Conrad extravaganza combined with Kurt's breakthrough of accessing the part of his mind that contained his memories of Mark took longer than either of them expected or hoped for.

It was a big step, a leap in Kurt's recovery and growth, one that Burt both celebrated and feared. This was exactly what Burt had been hoping for all along, but now that it was actually here, he'd be lying if he didn't admit to himself that he was just a little bit terrified. After all, what were they going to do once the private investigator Burt hired found Mark? Were they just going to show up on his doorstep, ring the bell and invite themselves in for a chat? It wasn't like they could notify the police. Burt was doubtful that they'd do anything after all this time and if Mark caught wind of a plan to have him arrested, he might disappear again.

"Are you okay, dad?"

Kurt's gentle voice broke him out of his thoughts and Burt realized that he'd barely been paying attention to the road in front of him. He shook his head slightly to clear his mind and refocused on his driving.

"I'm fine, kiddo," he answered. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Can I ask you a question?"

Burt was afraid of what was going to come next. Of all the talking and dissection of events they'd done with Dr. Akin in the last few days, they'd never discussed the things Burt said to Conrad during that last meeting. If Burt knew his son at all, whatever question he was wanting to ask had something to do with that.

"Shoot."

"Did you mean what you said to Conrad?" Kurt asked tentatively. "About me not making an effort to recover?"

Burt sighed. There it was. He knew it was only a matter of time and he'd thought about how he wanted to answer that question several times over the last few days.

"Kurt," he began warily. "I said some things that day that I probably shouldn't have said. I was frustrated and exhausted and frankly I was tired of Dr. Akin's style of treatment. But I'd be lying to you if I told you that, at the time, I didn't mean what I said."

"But—"

"Let me finish. Sometimes Kurt, it just seems like you 're comfortable in your DID. I mean, I don't know what's going on in that head of yours, but sometimes it feels like you shrink away from progress, that's all."

"Are you finished?" Kurt asked, cursing the way his lower lip trembled involuntarily.

"Yeah, I'm done." Burt drew in a breath and awaited the onslaught of emotion that he was surely in for from Kurt. But instead, for the first time Burt could ever remember, Kurt remained silent, directing his gaze to the line of trees passing by his window. After a few minutes, Burt began to worry.

"Don't you want to talk about this?" he asked incredulously. Finally, Kurt turned back, but instead of the anger Burt was expecting from him, he just looked defeated.

"I mean," Kurt sighed with sad resignation. "What's there to talk about? I just found out that the one person I've always been able to count on, the one I never had to question whether or not he believed how out of control I am in this whole situation just told me I'm not trying hard enough."

"Kurt, come on—"

"No," Kurt cut him off firmly. "You had your turn. I don't want to hear you justify this to me. I'm sorry I've let you down, but you let me down too."

The rest of the car ride was silent, with a heavy tension in the air. Burt wanted to qualify what he'd said to Kurt, but he knew that Kurt was in no position to listen right now. When they arrived home, Kurt gathered his bags from the trunk and trudged into the house, trying to smile for Finn and Carole when they greeted him and Burt at the door. After exchanging a few hugs, Kurt claimed tiredness and went to his room for a nap, leaving a confused looking Carole and Finn with Burt.

"We had a little disagreement in the car on the way home," Burt explained. "No big deal, he just needs some time before we clear the air."

"That's not like Kurt," Carole answered worriedly. "He usually wants to hash everything out right away."

"Yeah, well, it's been a long couple of weeks," Burt said, guilt starting to gather in the pit of his stomach. Maybe he'd been wrong in telling Kurt all that, especially since it was obvious that Kurt was definitely putting in the effort now, with wanting to find and confront Mark. But Burt had to wonder if that was really what Kurt wanted. If his desire to take that step was to help himself get better or keep Burt from washing his hands of everything. If Kurt wasn't doing this for the right reasons, was it even going to help anything?

Well, one thing was for sure, until the private investigator tracked down Mark, Burt wasn't going to find out the answers to any of his questions.

"Not to add to the stress level," Carole spoke up again, picking something up from the table in the foyer. "But this was delivered for Kurt yesterday."

Burt took the paper from Carole and unfolded it.

"Court summons," Burt said as he read. "Smythe's court date is in a few weeks. Fantastic timing."

"Well, it's not ideal," Carole admitted. "But it's one more thing that we need to get through, and as far as I'm concerned, the sooner the better."

"Yeah, but a trial?" Burt asked with a groan. "I'm not sure Kurt could testify against this kid. He's already got it in his head that Sebastian's been punished enough for almost killing him."

"Maybe he'll enter a plea," Carole suggested. Burt immediately let out a snort.

"Are you kidding me? This kid has the best lawyer money can buy, there's no way he's owning up to anything."

Carole sighed. She knew better than to engage with Burt when he was acting this way. Anything she said, he was just going to counter with more negativity. Like Kurt, he was going to need some time to cool off before being rational about anything.

* * *

><p>Blaine was stretched out on his bed, trying to study. It was almost Christmas break, which meant all of his exams were coming up within the next few weeks. As much as Blaine missed Kurt, at least his absence was giving Blaine a chance to focus on his studies. Well, for the most part. Blaine's thoughts did wander to Kurt quite often, but knowing he was somewhere safe, getting the help he needed definitely put his mind at ease.<p>

He was finishing a chapter on lassiez-faire in his economics book when his phone buzzed insistently beside him. He went to shut it off, deciding he'd call back whoever it was once he finished the last few paragraphs, but a quick glance at the screen told him he wanted to answer it right away.

"Kurt?" he answered excitedly, scrambling into a sitting position.

"Hey."

Blaine was instantly worried. The voice on the other end sounded exhausted.

"Hey, it's good to hear from you," Blaine said, trying to reign in his excitement. "Are you back in town? Is everything okay?"

"Yes and yes," Kurt answered. "We just got back a few minutes ago."

"Are you sure everything is alright?" Blaine asked again. Something was definitely wrong and Blaine didn't want Kurt to feel like he couldn't tell him about it. He hated their stupid rule about not talking about Kurt's DID and he hoped that the stay at the hospital would help him understand that he needed the support of the people around him.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," Kurt sighed. "And I kind of got into a fight with my dad on the way back, but it's fine."

Blaine bit his tongue. He desperately wanted to know what had happened with Burt, but he also knew that if Kurt wanted to tell him, he would.

"Do you want me to come over? Or I could come get you and we could go somewhere? I really missed you, Kurt."

"I missed you too," Kurt answered. Blaine could almost hear his smile over the phone and his heart leapt a little.

"So, can I come see you?" Blaine asked again after a short silence.

"I really want to see you," Kurt answered. "But I need a nap first. I'm so worn out, from….from everything. Give me a couple hours and then come pick me up?"

"Sure," Blaine answered with relief. "Let's see, it's about two o'clock now. I can pick you up at six and we can have a dinner date. How does that sound?"

"Sounds absolutely perfect," Kurt answered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Blaine was unable to wipe the goofy grin off of his face long after the call was over. And forget finishing that chapter in his economics book. Kurt was back in town and Blaine was taking him out on a date in a few hours. He couldn't be more excited and he hoped that by the time he went to pick Kurt up, Kurt would be ready to talk about whatever was bugging him with Burt and hopefully he'd open up to him about what it was like at the hospital.

* * *

><p>Four hours later, Blaine was knocking excitedly on the Hummel's front door. Within a few seconds, Kurt opened the door wide and almost tackled Blaine with his hug. Blaine staggered for half a step but quickly regained his balance.<p>

"Good to see you too," Blaine joked as Kurt held onto him tightly. After a few more seconds, Kurt let go and held Blaine at arm's length.

"It is so good to see you," he answered. "Now will you please get me the hell out of here?"

Blaine chuckled and led Kurt down the walk to his car sitting in the driveway.

"So," Blaine spoke after they were both buckled in and headed down the road to Breadstix. "How was it?"

"It was good," Kurt answered, leaning back into his seat. "It was really difficult, but I learned a lot and I think I made some good progress, I just hope it was enough."

Blaine nodded. He had no idea what to ask next, since his agreement with Kurt to not talk about his alters was still in effect as far as he was concerned. It was ridiculous, in Blaine's mind, but he didn't want to do anything to mess up with Kurt again.

"Blaine, I need to tell you something," Kurt said nervously. Blaine had no idea what was coming next, but whatever it was made him nervous too.

"Okay," Blaine answered cautiously. Thankfully, they'd just made it to the restaurant and Blaine was pulling into a parking spot. He put the car in park and turned it off, turning slightly to give his full attention to Kurt.

"I need to apologize to you," Kurt started, completely taking Blaine off guard. "I never should have tried to shut you off from this part of my life, my DID. It wasn't fair to ask you not to worry or ask me about it, because if you love me, which I'm pretty sure you do, then you have every right to know about every part of me. I thought that if I could separate this part of myself from you, then our relationship would be easier on the both of us, but these last few weeks have taught me that it just doesn't work that way. I need you. Every part of me needs you, and I should have believed you when you said you wanted to love and support me in everything. Do…do you forgive me?"

"Kurt," Blaine said, trying to push back the tears gathering in his eyes. "There's nothing to forgive. I'm so thankful that you've come to that realization. Not only do I want to be there for you in every aspect of your life, I need to be. Do you know how hard it is to be told you can love someone, but only certain parts of them?"

"I know, and I'm sorry—"

"No, Kurt, you don't understand. It's not something to apologize for, I understand that you were scared, especially after what happened that night when I said that terrible thing to you. Thank you for giving me a second chance and I promise you I won't let you down again."

"Well, if it's one thing I've learned being in the loony bin, I need all the support I can get, especially considering what's coming next."

Blaine looked confused, but before he could ask Kurt to elaborate, Kurt said he was famished and suggested they move the conversation inside over spaghetti and cheesecake. Blaine happily obliged, leading Kurt into the restaurant and despite his trepidation over whatever Kurt was mysteriously alluding to, he knew that whatever it was, he'd be helping Kurt through it along the way, and that made him happier than anything had in a long while.

* * *

><p>Several hours later, Blaine dropped Kurt off at home again and began the drive back to Dalton. Kurt fumbled with his house key in the dark and finally worked the door open. It was only about 9:30 but most of the house was dark, since Finn was out with Puck and Mike for a guy's night and Carole was working the night shift.<p>

The living room light was on, however, and Burt was in his chair, watching a rerun of Pawn Stars. He turned his head toward the door when Kurt came in to acknowledge him.

"Hey dad," Kurt greeted, sitting down in the couch adjacent to Burt's chair.

"Hey kid," Burt answered. "Did you two have fun tonight?"

"Yeah, we had a good time," Kurt said. "We talked through a lot of stuff, so it was…productive. That sounds really boring, but we had fun. Listen, can we talk, about earlier?"

Burt responded by turning off the television and turning to face his son.

"I'm sorry that I didn't let you explain yourself earlier," Kurt started. "I was really hurt by what you said, but you were just being honest about how you felt at the time. I hope you don't still feel that way."

"Kurt," Burt began. "I'm sorry that what I said hurt your feelings. It's been really tough for me to watch you go through all this for all these years, and I honestly have no idea what you go through on a daily basis. Yeah, I can see what it's like on the outside and how it affects you when you transition, but I still don't understand what it's like to live with DID. I just want you to be healthy, son. More than anything, I want you to get past this, and you may be working your butt off to do that, but sometimes it's hard for me to see that."

"I know," Kurt answered quietly. "But trust me when I say I am putting in the effort, okay? It may not always look like it, but I am. I want to get better more than anything, but I need your support to do it."

"It's a deal," Burt said. "Now come here and give your old man a hug."

Kurt smiled and stood up to hug his father, feeling on top of the world that he'd been able to repair the tears in two of his most important relationships that evening. It was about to get really difficult, and Kurt tried his hardest not to focus on what was coming ahead of him. He'd start working on that in the morning. For now, he just wanted to get a good night's sleep and pretend that for one night, his life was perfectly in control.

* * *

><p><strong>So, lots of big stuff coming up on the horizon...we'll see how our boys handle it all.<strong>


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: Thank you everyone for all the wonderful feedback and alerts to this story. You guys are awesome. I just want to give you all a heads up that updates aren't going to be as frequent for a while because of some stuff I've got coming up in the real world. I'll still try to update as much as I can, because I know I hate having to wait for updates, so I imagine you do too. Just bear with me over the next month or so, please :)**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 46<p>

_Two Weeks Later_

"They've been gone for an awfully long time," Blaine muttered nervously. He looked behind him, watching people filter into the already overcrowded courtroom, scanning around for seats. Burt and Blaine sat close to each other, but reserved a bit of room on either side of them so that when Kurt came back in, he could squeeze between the two of them.

"I'm sure everything is fine," Burt said, not quite believing it himself and wishing he'd followed Kurt out into the hallway when the prosecutor had called out his name. Kurt had raised his hand when his name was called and even Burt could see the slight tremor. When the prosecutor asked to speak to him outside, Burt stopped Kurt to see if he wanted him there with him, but Kurt assured him he'd be fine. That had been almost ten minutes ago and the judge would be walking in any minute now to start the proceedings.

The three of them had arrived early, as directed on Kurt's subpoena. Between that and Kurt's nervous energy that morning, they were among the first to arrive to the courtroom. About ten minutes after they sat down, the door opened behind them and Sebastian walked in with someone who must have been his father. He held Sebastian's upper arm and guided him stiffly to the benches on the other side of the aisle. Blaine watched as Sebastian chanced a small glance in their direction, but upon connecting gazes with him, Sebastian turned back to face the front and didn't look over again. Kurt's eyes remained straight ahead the entire time until the prosecutor came in and called his name.

"There he is, finally," Blaine spoke again, sounding relieved. He stood up as Kurt made his way back to the middle of the bench and sat between Burt and Blaine. He looked a little less nervous, but not much.

"Is everything okay?" Burt asked. "What did she want to talk to you about?"

"She just wanted to get some details from my perspective," Kurt answered as nonchalantly as he could muster. "And she wanted to know how everything affected me and what I'd like to see happen to Sebastian."

"What did you—"

"All rise," a voice from the front of the room interrupted Burt's question. "The Superior Court of Franklin County is now in session, the Honorable Jack Page presiding."

"Please be seated," the judge spoke, allowing everyone a moment to sit back down before he continued. "Today is what's called a calendar call. As a defendant, it's your last opportunity to enter a plea of guilty before going to trial. We've got a lot of people on the list today, so we're going to move as quickly as possible. When I call your name, please come to the podium with your attorney, if you have one."

As the judge began calling names, it became apparent that the list was alphabetical, and with Sebastian's last name of Smythe, they realized they would be there for quite some time. Burt tried a couple of times to ask Kurt more about his brief meeting with the prosecutor, but each time Kurt hushed him. Burt couldn't figure out if he was afraid of getting in trouble for talking in court or if he was trying to hide something. Whatever it was, it was giving Burt a bad feeling.

Finally, after almost two hours, the judge called Sebastian's name. Blaine could feel Kurt tense beside him and placed a reassuring hand on his knee.

"Alright Mr. Smythe," Judge Page addressed him once he'd reached the podium. "I see you're represented by counsel, Mr. Barry Stanwick. What do you intend to do on your case today?"

"Your honor," the slightly shorter man next to Sebastian spoke. "My client will be entering a misdemeanor guilty plea to criminal trespass and simple assault as a lesser included offense of aggravated assault."

The judge looked up from his file for the first time since Sebastian came to the podium.

"Ms. Jordan," the judge addressed the prosecutor. "You do realize that there are a lot of felony counts here?"

"Yes, Your Honor," Ms. Jordan said, rising from her table. "After speaking in-depth with the victim in this case, this was the arrangement that was agreed upon."

The judge looked skeptical, but continued swearing in Sebastian and reading him his rights. Kurt could feel both Burt's and Blaine's eyes boring into him, but he maintained his gaze straight ahead. Blaine could still feel Kurt's knee trembling below his hand but he too turned back to face the proceedings.

"And how do you plead to this count of criminal trespass and this count of simple assault?"

"Guilty, Your Honor," Sebastian answered, his voice wavering slightly.

"And are you in fact guilty of these charges?"

"Yes, Your Honor," he spoke again, this time quieter.

"Alright," Judge Page sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I'll hear from the State. Ms. Jordan?"

"Yes, Your Honor," Ms. Jordan stood up again. "As I mentioned previously, this recommendation came with heavy input from the victim in this case. After speaking to Mr. Hummel, the State is recommending twelve months of probation for each count, consecutive to one another for a total of twenty four months of probation. The defendant will be required to pay restitution to Mr. Hummel both for medical bills and to replace the vehicle that was destroyed during the incident. In addition to the rules of probation, Mr. Smythe will be required to perform one hundred and twenty hours of community service as well as a special condition suggested by the victim."

"And what is that condition?" Judge Page asked.

"Mr. Smythe will be required to speak to each public and private high school in Franklin and Allen Counties about the consequences and impact of bullying. Mr. Hummel has requested that this be a joint effort between himself and the defendant."

The judge was silent for a few moments as he pondered the proposed sentence.

"Is this the recommendation you understood the State was going to make, Mr. Stanwick?" he finally addressed Sebastian's attorney.

"Yes, Your Honor, it is."

"Is Mr. Hummel in the courtroom?" the Judge asked, peering over his glasses out into the audience.

"He is, Your Honor," Ms. Jordan announced, gesturing toward Kurt.

"Mr. Hummel, please approach the podium. Mr. Stanwick, you and your client move over to the jury box."

Sebastian and his lawyer shuffled over to the other side of the courtroom while Kurt approached. Blaine watched nervously as Kurt strode to the podium, trying his best not to look completely terrified. Blaine was proud of him, but it broke his heart to see his boyfriend trembling up there alone.

"Mr. Hummel," the judge addressed Kurt. "Is this what you agreed upon with Ms. Jordan?"

"Y-yes sir," Kurt stuttered, eyes wide. He could feel the nearly silent audience in the courtroom watching him.

"Is there anything else you'd like to add, or anything you'd like to tell me about how this crime has affected you?"

There were a million things going through Kurt's mind at that moment. Of course there were things he wanted to say, but where would he start? There was just so much that he still hadn't processed that if he did start speaking, he wasn't sure he'd be able to turn it off.

"I guess I'd just like to say that I hope Sebastian realizes how quickly a situation like this can get out of control," Kurt finally answered. "And that I hope this whole experience can help him grow as a person. It's helped me grow, and um, I guess that's it."

"Thank you Mr. Hummel, you may have a seat," the Judge instructed, smiling for the first time since the hearing began. "Mr. Stanwick, please bring your client back to the podium."

Kurt turned around and began making his way back to his seat. He could feel his cheeks burning and he was embarrassed that his usual eloquence abandoned him in front of the judge. As he sat back down, he didn't miss that his dad refused to make eye contact with him, but feeling Blaine's arm wrap around his shoulders made him feel slightly better.

"Is there anything you'd like to say, Mr. Smythe?" the judge asked, addressing Sebastian. Kurt could see Sebastian take a deep breath before speaking.

"Yes, Your Honor," he began. "I would just like to express how deeply sorry I am to Kurt and his family for what I did. I'm guilty of these charges, but had I known that so much damage, physical or emotional, would result I never would have done it. I'm just…so very sorry for what I did, and I hope that Kurt can find it in him to forgive me some day."

"Alright, Mr. Smythe, I'll accept the recommendation," Judge Page announced, signing his name on the disposition sheet. "Is there anything else from the State, Ms. Jordan?"

"Your Honor, I would just like the Court to reiterate that the _only_ reason Mr. Smythe is getting off so easy on these truly horrendous charges is because of Mr. Hummel's ability to forgive him. Any other victim would probably want him behind bars for a very long time."

"Mr. Smythe," Judge Page addressed him again. "You are incredibly lucky. Rarely do I see so much grace from a victim of a crime as serious as this, and especially in someone so young. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to turn your life around and I hope you take full advantage of it. Make sure you speak to the representative from the probation office in the back of the room before you leave."

* * *

><p>"Kurt!" Burt called angrily after Kurt. As soon as the judge had finished Sebastian's hearing, Kurt stood up and bolted out of the room, followed quickly by Burt and then Blaine. At hearing his name shouted down the hallway, Kurt came to a halt and turned around, tears gathering in his eyes.<p>

"What the hell was that? Why did you agree to that?" Burt's face was nearly purple as he approached his son.

"Because it was the right thing to do," Kurt said solidly, despite the word having to travel through his tears.

"He almost killed you," Burt answered, shaking his head. "I almost lost my only child because of what he did."

"I know that, Dad," Kurt said, his own voice rising in anger. "Don't you think I know that? Hospital stays, surgeries, sleeping on the couch for weeks, don't you think I understand how serious this all was?"

"No, Kurt, I don't. If you understood at all, you wouldn't have agreed to let Sebastian off with a slap on the wrist."

Blaine looked nervously between the two Hummels. He had no idea whether or not to step in, but apparently it didn't matter, because all Kurt and Burt could see in that moment was one another.

"He's paying back everything—"

"This isn't about money," Burt interrupted. "That kid is obviously filthy rich. Sixty thousand dollars in medical bills and a new car is chump change to those people."

"Everyone deserves a second chance," Kurt said, tears now freely flowing down his face. "I had the opportunity to give Sebastian his and I'm trusting that he's going to use it the way he's supposed to. I'm not a vindictive person, Dad. Sending him to prison for years for something that got way too out of control would have eaten me up inside, can't you see that?"

Burt remained silent, not knowing what to say to that. He was so angry, but the words weren't forming in his brain.

"I'm tired of being a victim," Kurt spoke again. "This is what it took for me to feel empowered again and for you, of all people, to try to tell me that it's wrong? I didn't expect that from you, Dad."

Kurt shot one last look at his father before turning around and heading back down the hallway. Blaine looked at Burt briefly before deciding to follow Kurt. That quick glance told Blaine that Burt was still angry, but regretted pushing Kurt so hard. Burt gave Blaine a little nod of permission and watched him jog down the hall to catch up with Kurt.

"Kurt, wait up!" Blaine called after him as Kurt rounded a corner. Blaine jogged around it, expecting to have to keep running after him, but instead he stopped abruptly in his tracks at the sight of Kurt slowly sliding down the wall, sobs racking his frame.

"Kurt, Kurt, shh, it's okay," Blaine spoke softly as he caught Kurt, lowering both of them gently to the ground. Kurt turned and nestled his head in Blaine's collarbone, no longer trying to suppress his crying.

"I know how hard that was," Blaine continued soothingly as he held on tightly to Kurt. "But you were amazing. I was so proud of you up there."

"He hates me," Kurt said. Or at least that's what Blaine thought he heard. Kurt's words were muffled by Blaine's shirt.

"Who hates you?" Blaine ventured.

"My dad," Kurt answered, this time it was clear enough for Blaine to hear.

"No, no, no, Kurt," Blaine said immediately. "He doesn't hate you, he loves you. More than anything. That's why he was so upset and maybe he doesn't understand now, but he'll come around."

"Do you think I messed up?" Kurt asked softly, sounding so vulnerable, it reminded Blaine of Jamie.

"Not at all," Blaine assured. "You did the best thing you could have done for yourself, and no one else has to understand it or agree with it. This is your life, Kurt, and you have to take control of it."

Kurt didn't answer, but his tears started to subside and before too long, Kurt's eyes were completely dry and he was sitting back on his own.

"What do you say we get out of here?" Blaine asked, standing up and reaching for Kurt's hand. Kurt nodded and accepted the help up, dusting off his backside from sitting on the well-traveled floor. Blaine took his hand and began guiding him back around to where the elevators to the lobby were, but as they rounded the corner they saw Sebastian standing a few feet away, listening to a conversation between his father and his lawyer. Seeing the two boys appear, Sebastian broke quietly away from the group and approached them.

"Kurt, can I say something to you?" he asked, somewhat timidly. He didn't want to force anything on Kurt if he wasn't ready to talk.

"Sure," Kurt answered simply, keeping as much emotion out of his features as possible.

"I just wanted to say again how sorry I am for everything," Sebastian said quietly. "And thank you for what you did in there. I, um…I don't know if I would have done the same if the roles were reversed."

"Thank you for being honest," Kurt answered. "And I accept your apology. I really hope you take advantage of this and turn your life around."

"I've already started that process," Sebastian said with a nod. "And I know we'll be seeing each other when we go to the schools. I hope that throughout that process, I can show you how I'm changing because words are cheap without actions to back them up."

"I'll agree to that," Kurt answered.

"Well, I have to go," Sebastian spoke after a few seconds of awkward silence. "But I'll be in touch about the school thing if that's okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Kurt said. "Talk to you soon, I guess."

"Bye, Kurt." Sebastian turned around and walked back to his father and lawyer, who were still so engrossed in their discussion that they didn't even see the interaction between Kurt and him.

As Kurt and Blaine boarded the elevator, Blaine turned to Kurt and drew him into a tight hug.

"Have I told you lately how proud of you I am?" he whispered into Kurt's ear. He could feel Kurt's smile against his own cheek.

"Not in the last few minutes," Kurt answered. He was already starting to feel a whole lot better. His dad would come around, he decided. Like their arguments in the past, Kurt knew that his dad just needed some time to cool off and everything would be okay. The important thing was that Kurt was finally starting to feel empowered and in control of his life. And all it took was a near death experience and a nearly as terrifying day in court to get there.


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Warning: this chapter is offensively short, and it's because I inadvertently left the first part off of the last chapter. My apologies. However, despite it's brevity, it's a good one. **

**TRIGGER WARNING: A bit of non-suicidal self harm in the second part.**

**The first part of this is set up a little differently. It's a conversation between Kurt's alters, so the dialogue is preceded by the alter's name to avoid confusion. The second part resumes to normal. **

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 47<p>

_Conrad: Where the hell were you on that, Gina?_

_Gina: Whatever do you mean?_

_Conrad: Kurt needed you and you just sat there like a bump on a log!_

_Gina: Don't be dramatic, Conrad, Kurt was just fine._

_Jamie: Gina._

_Conrad: Are you insane, you crazy old bag? Didn't you see him crying out there like a little girl…_

_Jamie: Miss Gina._

_Conrad: …embarrassing us and shit?_

_Gina: Jamie, please, Conrad and I are having a discussion right now, it's not polite to interrupt, and Conrad, you should be ashamed of yourself! Using that kind of language in front of Jamie._

_Conrad: Well, excuse me for caring about Kurt. One of us has to, ya know._

_Gina: How dare you? I care more about him than you could even imagine!_

_Conrad: Then why the hell didn't you step in back there?_

_Gina: Because he said he didn't need us, didn't you hear?_

_Conrad: I didn't hear shit._

_Gina: Language! My goodness, it's like conversing with an over the road trucker. It was quiet but he said he could handle it. His voice is getting stronger, Conrad, you just have to listen for it._

_Jamie: Conrad, I'm scared._

_Conrad: Jamie, damn it, will you just pipe down? Well, maybe he did say it and maybe he didn't, but I still haven't forgotten the last time you thought you heard Kurt say he could "handle it."_

_Gina: I don't have the slightest idea what you're referring to._

_Conrad: Really Gina? Movie theater, popcorn, assault on an old man in the lobby, Gimme…any of this ringing a bell?_

_Gina: That was a fluke. We have a better handle on the Gimme situation now, ever since we got back from the hospital._

_Conrad: Jesus, lady, don't you get it? The hospital never should have happened in the first place!_

_Gina: You can't be blaming me for that, Conrad, that's utterly ridiculous._

_Conrad: Whose fault was it then, grandma?_

_Gina: Well! I see nothing to be gained in playing the blame game._

Jamie begins whimpering.

_Conrad: Of course you wouldn't, because you know it's on you._

_Gina: Jamie, sweetheart, what's the problem?_

_Conrad: Ignoring the subject, typical woman…_

_Jamie: He's here._

_Gina: Who's here darling?_

_Jamie: Him. I'm scared, Miss Gina._

_Conrad: Jesus, Jamie, who the hell are you talking about?_

_Jamie: Mark. Don't let him hurt me, Conrad._

_Conrad: What are you…holy shit! Jamie, get over here, now!_

_Jamie: He's going to kill me._

_Gina: Hush darling, just stay close._

* * *

><p>Kurt squinted hard under the harsh light in his bathroom. He couldn't remember how he got there, standing in front of the mirror in what was obviously the middle of the night. He closed his eyes as he stood there, trying to gain his bearings. The air was cool around him, and something cold was making its way down his palm and dripping from his fingers. Kurt absentmindedly rubbed his hand against his naked thigh before stopping mid-motion.<p>

Something wasn't right.

Forcing his eyes open again, he was startled by his own naked reflection in the mirror. The nudity didn't take him aback; he was used to waking up in various stages of dress and undress. It was the smeared red handprint against his thigh. He lifted his left hand up to his face and stared at the tack blood trail, following it with his eyes to its origin. Kurt drew in a sharp breath as he saw the jagged vertical gash on the inside of his forearm, travelling almost from the crook of his elbow to his wrist.

Something clanged to the floor as he brought his right hand over to cover the still seeping wound. Whatever it was bounced off his foot sharply, causing Kurt to hiss and draw his foot up in reflex. Looking down, he saw a bloody pair of scissors, the one from the desk in his bedroom. They'd landed point down on his foot and Kurt saw a small amount of blood pool in the nick it created. He brought his terrified gaze back up to the mirror and looked himself in the eyes.

"What's happening to me?"

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><p><strong>I'd love to know what you think. Thanks for reading.<strong>


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: I don't own Glee or United States of Tara.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 48<p>

Kurt had never been more thankful for the first aid kit he'd had the foresight to place in the cabinet underneath his bathroom sink. Still using his right hand to cover the wound, he crouched down to open the cabinet with his left hand, wincing at the sticky red prints he was leaving everywhere. He decided to focus on getting the cut cleaned up and then he'd worry about the rest.

Digging around for a moment, he finally landed on the small white box and pulled it out, placing it above him on the counter before standing back up. He was a little lightheaded, but he quickly regained his bearings. A quick glance at the clock opposite the mirror told him it was well after three in the morning, another thing he was grateful for. At least no one should be awake at this hour and he wouldn't have to worry about anyone coming in and seeing the mess.

And it was definitely a mess. Kurt took a moment to look around the bathroom. He didn't know how long he'd stood there with the cut in his arm before regaining consciousness but it was long enough to allow a decent amount of blood to drip on the floor and for the trail to grow tacky as it started to dry.

He turned on the faucet, setting it as cold as it would go in hopes that the temperature would mask the pain that was sure to come as he rinsed it out. He started out gingerly, allowing the base of the cut on his wrist to come in contact with the water for a moment before easing the rest in. He sucked in air through his gritted teeth as the water hit, the temperature only taking a bit of the edge off. After a few seconds, however, the pain started to dull and with the blood washing away, it was easier to see what kind of damage he'd done to himself.

The cut was ragged, but not nearly as deep as he thought it would be on initial inspection. It didn't look like something that would require stitches, but then again, Kurt had no intention of telling anybody about this, let alone going to the doctor. He did worry a bit about the possibility of scarring, but there was no way that he was going to put his father, Carole, Blaine and everyone else under any more stress than they already were. The court hearing with Sebastian had been difficult enough on Burt and even though Kurt felt like they'd patched things up earlier that day, he wasn't about to throw something like this out into the open.

"I was getting better," Kurt mumbled to himself as he grabbed a dark brown towel from the neatly folded stack in his linen closet and began carefully patting his arm dry_. No, I _am _getting better_, Kurt corrected himself mentally. He refused to see this as a setback. Sure, he had no idea what had happened, but it was definitely a fluke, right? He just needed to put more effort into his coping skills and nothing like this would happen again.

Kurt slowly wound the white gauze around his arm having just enough to complete the job. The cut may not have been deep, but it was definitely long and by the time he'd finished wrapping it up, it covered his entire arm from wrist to the crook of his elbow. Thankfully, it was winter and no one would question long sleeves that reached slightly past his wrist.

He could and he would keep this a secret. No one had to know because it was never, ever going to happen again.

* * *

><p>"I don't understand, Doc," Burt said exasperatedly. "It sounds like you're firing my son."<p>

"Don't think about it that way," Dr. Simmons answered patiently. "Kurt has made leaps and bounds in his recovery and I firmly believe he could continue making even more progress, just not with me."

Kurt had been quietly watching the exchange between his father and Dr. Simmons. It was about six hours after he'd woken up in his bathroom naked and covered in his own blood and he was exhausted. He'd tried to go back to sleep after he'd bandaged himself up, but it was useless. His mind was too busy trying to figure out what the hell had happened and before he knew it, it was time to get ready for his doctor's appointment.

"Well," Burt answered in a huff, standing up from the couch and turning to look at his son. "I guess that's it, Kurt, you're on your own because Doctor _Simmons_ can't be bothered with you anymore."

"Dad," Kurt sighed. "I don't think that's what she's saying."

"Thank you." Dr. Simmons suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. She was having a hard time maintaining her composure around Burt.

"It'll be okay," Kurt reassured quietly, standing up and leading his father to the door. "I'll get it figured out, alright? I'm an adult now and it's time I started taking a bigger role in my own recovery."

Kurt waved an apologetic goodbye to Dr. Simmons as he pushed his father out of the room. She gave a half-hearted wave back before dropping her head into her hand as the door closed after them. Somehow, the elder Hummel managed to be more exhausting on a weekly basis than the person she was actually treating.

"So what are we supposed to do now, huh?" Burt asked as they walked down the hallway and then out the front door of the small office building. "I thought she was the best Lima had to offer and now she's kicking you to the curb!"

"Dad, please calm down, you're putting me on edge."

"I'm sorry, kid, I just…you've been making so much progress lately, and—"

"And I'm going to continue to get better," Kurt said solidly, ignoring the feeling that wavered in the pit of his stomach as he thought about what had happened only hours earlier. Most of brain had been nagging at him from early that morning to tell his dad what happened, but that one small, stubborn part of him insisted that he didn't need any help with this. That it would only make things worse.

"Just trust me, Dad," Kurt spoke again once they were in the car. "Please. I'll get this figured out and you won't have to worry about a thing. I'm an adult now. I can do this."

Burt sighed and leaned heavily back against his seat.

"Okay, son. I trust you."

* * *

><p>"Well this is a pleasant surprise."<p>

Kurt relished the wide grin plastered on Blaine's face as he happened upon Kurt sitting outside his dorm room door upon returning from Warbler practice that afternoon.

"Yeah, well, I was in the neighborhood and I figured, 'what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't stop by,' you know?"

"With coffee and scones I see," Blaine answered, eyebrows raised.

"With coffee and scones," Kurt affirmed with a sly smile. "Only the best for my number one favorite Warbler of all time."

Blaine laughed. Without putting much thought into it, he reached down and grabbed Kurt by the forearms to help him up. Kurt wasn't thinking about his injury and allowed the help from Blaine, only to cry out in pain and drop the tray of hot coffee he'd been holding as he tried to stand.

"Kurt, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Blaine asked frantically, not paying any attention to the coffee and scones that went smashing to the floor.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry," Kurt said, using every ounce of willpower he had not to cradle the injured arm. He could already feel part of the wound had opened up and his bandage was getting wet. He knelt down and began gathering the busted cups and bits of scone that had scattered all over the floor.

"I have to get some paper towels," Kurt mumbled, standing up again and heading to the communal bathroom. He could hear Blaine following close behind him, but he didn't want to turn around and have Blaine question the tears that were collecting in his eyes.

"Wait, Kurt," Blaine spoke from behind him. "What happened? Did I hurt you?"

"No, no," Kurt answered, still not turning around once they reached the bathroom. He pulled the door open and headed over for the sink. He began pulling paper towels out of the dispenser and forced himself to avoid eye contact with Blaine's reflection in the mirror.

"Then what was it?" he asked softly. Something was definitely wrong and for whatever reason, Kurt was being evasive.

"It's nothing," Kurt explained, already heading back out of the bathroom with the towels. "I just pulled a muscle in my side earlier today and I guess it's still really sore. I'm so sorry about the coffee. I really wanted that to be a nice surprise for you when you came back."

"Kurt, stop and look at me, please," Blaine begged. Kurt finally stopped in his tracks and turned to face his boyfriend. He'd been able to keep the tears mostly at bay, but his eyes were still glistening.

"I don't care about the coffee, I care about you. You're the surprise, silly."

Blaine waited for Kurt to give him just the tiniest of smiles before wrapping his arms around him tight. Blaine held Kurt for a few moments, just relishing the feeling of having Kurt in his arms again. It never got old.

"I've got to get this cleaned up," Kurt said, finally pulling away from him.

"Let me," Blaine answered, taking the paper towels out of his hands. "Why don't you go in to my room and get comfy, because the one thing I like more than sharing coffee and scones with Kurt Hummel is cuddling with him."

Kurt couldn't help but laugh at that. Blaine was so goofy, but that was part of what made him wonderful. He picked up his discarded jacket off the hallway floor and made his way into Blaine's room, allowing his boyfriend to clean up the mess he'd made.

After the door shut behind him, he pushed his sleeve up to survey the damage. Sure enough the bandage now sported a three inch stain of blood near the base of the cut where Blaine had grabbed him. He pressed gingerly at the area and blood came away on his fingers. Wiping them on the backside of his bandage, he slowly lowered his shirt sleeve back over the bandage, mentally congratulating himself on choosing to wear his black wool sweater. Hopefully it would be thick enough to keep the blood from seeping through at least until he could make it home that evening. He laid back on Blaine's bed, closed his tired eyes and waited for Blaine to come back in.

"So, I'm glad you're here." The sound of Blaine's voice caused Kurt to jump slightly and he realized he must have fallen asleep for a few minutes. He was more exhausted than he realized.

"But you never told me what brought you to Westerville today," Blaine continued, sliding in behind Kurt on the bed and enveloping him in his arms.

"I wanted to go to the public library here," Kurt explained. "It's bigger than the one in Lima and I was hoping they'd have a better selection."

"Of…?"

"Of books on DID," Kurt continued, somewhat reluctantly. "My doctor fired me today."

"What? Why would she do that?"

Kurt explained it exactly how Dr. Simmons had, and to him, it actually all made sense. There really wasn't going to be a way to convince Burt or Blaine either, as Kurt soon discovered. He spent the next ten minutes trying to calm Blaine down before continuing on with his plan.

"So I thought that I would check some books out and see what kind of resources I could find in print form as I start the search for a new doctor."

"Well, that's," Blaine spoke after having been silent throughout most of Kurt's justification of his doctor's decision. "That's good Kurt. I mean, I still think Dr. Simmons made a huge mistake, but I think you can do this. I have faith in you."

"Thanks," Kurt answered appreciatively. Part of him felt that Blaine's sheer reaction indicated the opposite of faith in him, but the logical part of him knew he was just scared. Just like Burt was scared. Just like, if Kurt would admit it to himself, he was scared.

He was terrified, really. Terrified and feeling very alone. But more than that, he was determined, and a determined Kurt Hummel never failed at what he set out to do. He'd get through this by himself and he'd be all the stronger for it.

As Blaine pulled him close, the familiar feeling of guilt mixed with fear began curling around in his stomach but he pushed it back down, refusing to allow it to overwhelm him.

_Not this time,_ he thought to himself._ Not this time._

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? Thanks for reading.<strong>_  
><em>


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: TRIGGER WARNING - allusions to self harm again in this chapter.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 49<p>

"So I was thinking that for the body, I'd cover the facts from _Brown versus the Board of Education_, talk about the social implications at the time and then explain how the ruling has changed the country as we know it today."

"Sounds pretty standard," Kurt answered tiredly as he closed his eyes and lied back on Blaine's bed. He'd come over earlier that afternoon to help Blaine with his final projects and essays before the winter break, but now he found himself fighting sleep.

"Well, it's not going to be a work of genius," Blaine huffed quietly, mistaking Kurt's exhaustion for criticism. "It's due in less than twenty four hours."

"No, baby," Kurt mumbled, barely coherent. "It sounds great."

Blaine couldn't help but smile at him.

"Why don't you take a little nap? And take that scarf off while you're at it, it's about eighty degrees in here."

"No thanks," Kurt answered, peeping his eyes open and sounding slightly more alert. "I'm comfortable the way I am."

Blaine shrugged and swiveled his desk chair back around to his computer screen.

"Suit yourself," he said as he started typing away. "Sweet dreams, my love."

Kurt mumbled something that sounded vaguely like a term of affection and within a few seconds Blaine could hear his light snoring. Smiling again to himself, he quickly became engrossed in his paper. By the time he was finishing up the conclusion, an hour and a half had passed. He hit the save button and swiveled his chair back around, reaching his arms high in a stretch. Bringing them down with a small, satisfied groan, he watched Kurt deep in sleep.

He looked peaceful enough, no longer suffering from his nightmares on a daily basis. Then again, the last few weeks, he always seemed tired. Blaine didn't want to bring it up because Kurt was so proud about the fact that he hadn't had any transitions since before the court date with Sebastian and Blaine didn't want Kurt to mistake his concern for criticism.

Blaine moved over quietly and carefully sat on the bed by Kurt. He took his hand and placed it gently on Kurt's forehead, only to have it come away with a layer of sweat. At first Blaine worried that Kurt had a fever. That would certainly explain why he was tired and apparently cold enough to wear a scarf in the over-heated dormitory. Doing his best not to wake his boyfriend, Blaine slowly started undoing the elaborate knot in Kurt's designer scarf. Once he'd pulled the knot loose, he began unraveling it and Kurt was too asleep to even notice.

As the scarf became unwound, Blaine saw something on Kurt's collarbone that made him pause in mid-action. _That's not…that can't be_… Blaine leaned in closer, discarding the scarf to the side and gently brushed the wound there. It was long and jagged and extended from the bottom of Kurt's collarbone to the left, the trail leading underneath Kurt's shirt. Blaine carefully lifted the shirt at the collar and peered underneath, growing nauseous at what he saw.

The cut went all the way to his armpit, but that wasn't it. Blaine could see other cuts, one on his shoulder, another that seemed to run down his bicep. They were in various stages of healing, but they all looked relatively fresh. Dropping the shirt, he hesitated only briefly before moving to Kurt's sleeve and attempting to pull it up. He'd only pushed it up about two inches, enough to see an older, jagged cut starting at his wrist when Kurt suddenly jumped up and out of his reach, scrambling back to the other side of the bed that was pushed up against the wall. Instinctively, Kurt drew his injured arm to his chest and drew his knees in for protection. He looked like a startled animal.

"Kurt, what the hell is going on?" Blaine asked, the fear and shock in his voice making him sound angrier than he was. He wasn't angry at all, actually, just terrified.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt replied, sounding genuinely confused. "Where's my scarf?"

"I took it off because you were sweating so much," Blaine answered, wishing his panic would subside. "Kurt, why?"

"Why what?" Kurt still seemed out of it, but Blaine knew it was because he'd been woken from a deep sleep. He had to know what Blaine was referring to.

"Why have you been cutting yourself? How long has this been going on? Why—"

"I gotta go," Kurt cut him off, finally seeming to be awake enough to understand what was happening. If possible he looked even more frightened than when he'd first woken up.

"Kurt—"

"I gotta, I gotta go. I have a doctor's appointment," Kurt stuttered. He scooted past Blaine on the bed, grabbing his scarf as he went and wrapping it expertly back around his neck so that all of his skin was covered.

"You can't leave, we have to talk about this," Blaine pleaded, unable to hide his tears any longer. He was scared as hell and he didn't want Kurt walking out of that door.

"There's nothing to talk about, Blaine," Kurt unconvincingly assured. "Everything is…everything's under control, just please please trust me, okay? I love you and I'll call you tonight."

Before Blaine could process what was happening, Kurt had given him a swift kiss on the cheek and was walking out of the door. Blaine wanted to call after him, but couldn't find his voice. He wanted to run after him, but his legs betrayed him and instead he somehow ended up on the floor, sitting there staring into space.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but at some point it occurred to him that he needed to call Burt. He knew that Kurt would be mad at him for it. After all, he'd gone to great lengths to keep his secret hidden and he liked to think that Kurt could trust him with just about anything, but this was too much for Blaine to confront on his own, and Burt needed to know what Blaine discovered about his son.

Somehow his fingers were able to dial the numbers of Burt's cellphone and within a few seconds, he held the ringing phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Burt."

"Hey, Blaine. What's up, kid?"

"Burt, it's…I…"

"Is everything okay? Is it Kurt? Where is he, is he hurt?"

"No, I mean yes…I mean no."

"Blaine, take a deep breath and just answer my questions one at a time."

"It's Kurt," Blaine said, finally able to transfer the words from his brain to his lips. "He was over here and taking a nap and then I took his scarf off and I saw a cut, and then another and then another, and—"

"Wait, hold up," Burt interrupted. "What kind of cut, what do you mean?"

"Long gashes, Burt," Blaine answered, his voice wavering heavily. "He's been cutting himself, all up and down his arm, and maybe other places, but that's all I saw before he left."

"He left? Why did you let him leave?"

"He said he had a doctor's appointment," Blaine said, defensiveness replacing a bit of his fear. "I tried to stop him but he just left. What was I supposed to do, restrain him? I don't think that would have gone over very well."

"Well," Burt wanted to be angry at Blaine but he had a point. "No, I don't suppose you could have stopped him. I'm calling his doctor."

"And I'm coming to your house," Blaine replied sternly. When Kurt came home from his appointment, Blaine was determined to be standing in his living room when he walked through that door.

"Drive safe," Burt answered, not even attempting to argue. He had more important things to focus on, like finding Kurt's new therapist's number.

Kurt had found Dr. George through researching different doctors online and through skimming through the psychiatric journals at the library. Burt was impressed with Dr. George's credentials and further impressed that he had actually recently moved his practice to the Lima area. Kurt was determined to handle his new therapy regimen on his own, so Burt had not accompanied him to any of the sessions so far. It made him nervous not to be involved, but Kurt stressed the importance of feeling like he was in control of this aspect of his life.

After a few minutes of fishing around in the junk drawer in the kitchen, Burt finally located the post-it note with Dr. George's phone number on it, written in Kurt's tiny, tidy script. Burt hurriedly punched the number into his phone and almost immediately was greeted with the error tone.

"_We're sorry, the number you have dialed is invalid. Please check your number and dial again."_

Burt ended the call and typed the number in again, paying extra attention to making sure he typed it right this time.

"_We're sorry, the number you have dialed is invalid. Please chec—"_

"Damn it," Burt growled, nearly throwing the phone across the room. Instead, he scrolled through to find Kurt's number, but each of his three calls went to voicemail. Feeling absolutely out of control and helpless, he found himself unable to do anything but wait. His panic level rose as he went through the different scenarios in his head.

What if Kurt had lost it, being confronted by Blaine about the cuts and ran away somewhere? Burt tried to talk himself out of this scenario since Kurt told him earlier that day that he had an appointment with Dr. George. But why isn't the number working? Again, Burt reasoned that Kurt probably just wrote the number down wrong.

Nothing made sense. Kurt had been doing so much better since the court case was settled with Sebastian. Burt had even become convinced that Kurt's decision about the whole thing had been the right one for him to make. He hadn't transitioned, he was seeing a world-renowned (according to Kurt) psychiatrist and things were starting to look up. He seemed a little more tired than usual, but Burt chalked that up to all the energy he was putting in towards recovery with Dr. George.

After making hasty phone calls to both Carole and Finn to advise them of the situation and to tell them to keep their phones close by, Burt started pacing the kitchen. After about a half hour, his ears perked up to the sound of the front door opening but when he rushed to the foyer, he saw that it was just Blaine, arriving as he'd promised.

"Any word?" both asked each other in unison. They realized the answer by looking in each other's worried faces, and both set to pacing again silently. It had now been at least an hour since Kurt left Blaine's dorm and if his doctor's appointment was at four o'clock like Kurt had told Burt earlier that morning, he should be back within a half hour.

All the boys could do was wait and hope that Kurt was safe from harm.

And safe from himself.


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: This chapter is really angsty...more so than usual, so my apologies. Unless you really like angst, in which case, you're welcome. Also, I can't believe this thing is 50 chapters already...Thanks to all of you who've stuck with it. I'm not sure how much more is left, but I think it's safe to say that we are well past the halfway mark. You all are fantastic and you're support means the world to me.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 50<p>

"He should be here by now," Burt muttered, still pacing the floor. He and Blaine had been discussing possible scenarios that Kurt may have found himself in after he left Blaine's dorm room and few of them were favorable. All they were really doing was working themselves up even more, but with Kurt's history of transitioning and ending up in dangerous or compromising situations, it made sense that this was where their minds went to.

It was nearing six o'clock when Burt's phone rang and he nearly dropped it twice in his rush to answer it. He paused briefly to check the caller ID and was more than a little disappointed that it was Finn calling, probably for an update.

"Hey Finn," he answered, sounding defeated.

"Burt, I think you need to come down to the school," Finn spoke on the other line.

"Why, what's wrong? Is Kurt there?"

"Yeah, he's uh," Finn stumbled, obviously trying to choose his words. "He's here."

"Well that's great," Burt said, relief flooding his voice. He indicated wordlessly to Blaine to go get his shoes and follow him out to the car. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he looks fine," Finn answered.

"I can't help thinking there's something you're not telling me, kid," Burt spoke as they climbed into his car. Finn was sounding very evasive and he was never one for being able to hide his emotions.

"Just, um, just get here quickly and meet me out by the front entrance."

Burt was puzzled as he ended the call, but surely Finn would have told him if something was wrong with Kurt. On the short ride over to McKinley, Burt filled Blaine in on the short conversation and Blaine came to the same conclusion.

"I feel like he's hiding something," Blaine mused.

"That's exactly what I said," Burt agreed.

Within a few minutes they were parked in the drop-off lane in front of the school. The spotted Finn up near the front glass doors, alternately looking out towards them and then at some point inside the building.

"Well where is he?" Burt asked, jogging up to his stepson, Blaine close behind him.

"He's inside," Finn answered, opening the door and leading the way. "But something's not right, I think he transitioned or something. I don't know, you just have to see it for yourself."

The three rounded the corner and found themselves directly in front of Emma Pillsbury's office. It was after hours and they were the only ones in the building as far as anyone could tell. Except for Kurt. Finn, Burt and Blaine watched through the glass windows as Kurt paced the office, hands linked behind his back as he spoke to himself. The words were muffled, but every now and then they could pick out certain words or phrases, "co-consciousness," "the mind-body connection," and so on.

"When did Kurt get glasses?" Finn asked, confusion skewing his features. For the first time, Burt and Blaine noticed the black plastic frames Kurt sported and occasionally removed as he leaned on Miss Pillsbury's desk, chewing on the ear piece as he looked deep in thought.

"He didn't," Burt muttered. He'd seen enough. Without warning, he stalked over to the closed office door and swung it open.

"Kurt, what the hell—"

"Excuse me," Kurt answered in a strong New England accent. "I don't know who you are, but you are clearly interrupting this session. Please wait outside and I'll be with you in just a moment. Now where was I—"

"Who," Burt interrupted, earning himself a death glare from the boy in front of him. "Who are you?"

The boy let out a heavy sigh and made no attempt to hide his eye roll.

"Doctor Evan George," he finally answered. "And you are?"

It was what Burt knew from the minute he saw his son pacing the office but didn't want to admit.

"Burt Hummel," he answered with a fair amount of resignation. "Kurt's father."

"Mr. Hummel!" Evan George exclaimed, his demeanor instantly changed. "Why didn't you say so in the first place, Kurt has mentioned you before. Please, have a seat."

"No, I don't think so," Burt answered, growing more angry by the moment. "Why don't you come with us, Evan."

"I prefer Dr. George," he replied with a smirk. "A decade of schooling and in-depth field research, I do believe I've earned it."

* * *

><p>"I should have known," Burt muttered, tossing the psychological journals back on the pile on Kurt's desk. He and Blaine stood speaking quietly in Kurt's room as he slept.<p>

"Unshackling the Mind by Dr. Evan George," Blaine read from the stack of books in his hands. "Free From DID: A Four-Tiered Approach by Dr. Evan George…I can't believe this."

"Me neither," Burt answered quietly. "Wait, yes I can, because this is exactly the kind of thing that Kurt would do."

"Burt," Blaine warned tentatively. "You know he doesn't have any control over this."

"He told us he was getting better," Burt countered angrily. "He told us he'd stopped transitioning and come to find out, not only is he cutting himself to shreds, but he's his own new doctor? It's too much, Blaine."

Blaine swallowed thickly. He could understand why Burt was mad and he was fairly certain that when he had time to process everything himself, he'd probably be pretty upset too. But right then he was too worried about Kurt and the discoveries he'd made earlier that day to process his own emotions.

"I can't do this anymore," Burt spoke again, taking his ball cap off to run a hand over his head before replacing and readjusting it. "I can't deal with this kid anymore."

"You don't mean that—"

"Of course I don't mean that!" Burt answered, his voice getting louder. "All I ever wanted for my son was a long, healthy, happy life and for one moment, just one stupid moment, I allowed myself to picture that exact scenario for my son. And then I get a call from you saying that Kurt's disappeared, oh and by the way, he's mutilated the shit out of himself!"

"Don't take this out on me!" Blaine growled back. He started to say more, but they both noticed Kurt rolling over with a small whine. Blaine glared back at Burt and stalked out of the room, hoping Burt would follow him. He did, and once the door was shut, Blaine turned back to the elder Hummel.

"Don't you dare take this out on me," he repeated, but with less anger and volume. "You projecting your own anger and fear onto me is no different than what Kurt is doing with his alters."

Burt opened his mouth to yell back, but instead he paused and processed what Blaine said. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down.

"You're right," he finally said, keeping eye contact with Blaine the entire time. "I'm sorry, kid, I just…"

"I know," Blaine answered and with those two words, Burt understood his apology was accepted.

"This is stupid," Blaine said after a few minutes of silence in the hallway as they both tried to rein in their emotions. "We shouldn't be fighting, we should be thinking of what we're going to do when Kurt wakes up."

"Assuming he wakes up tonight," Burt answered, glancing at his watch. It was seven-thirty and they'd just arrived home. It was hard to convince Dr. George to get in the car with them, but within a minute of being strapped in the back seat next to Blaine, he was asleep. Thankfully Finn was there to carry him inside and up to bed.

"You need to get going back to Dalton, Blaine," Burt spoke again. "You've got finals tomorrow."

"I'm not leaving," Blaine answered defiantly. "Not until I get some answers."

"Look," Burt said softly, placing a fatherly hand on the boy's shoulder. "I know you're worried about him, with the…with the cuts and all, but you've got one more day of school to get through and then you're welcome back here for winter break okay? Don't throw away the whole semester. Kurt will be fine here and you're crazy if you think I'm going to let that boy out of my sight for one second. Poor guy's probably going to have to sit in the bathroom with me when nature calls."

Blaine smiled in spite of himself. He knew Burt was right, he had to finish the semester strong, especially since he'd already taken so much time off dealing with Kurt. But he still didn't want to go. What if Kurt woke up and needed him?

"He's going to be fine," Burt assured, as if reading Blaine's mind. "I will call you the minute he's awake, okay?"

"Promise?" Blaine asked reluctantly, and Burt knew he'd won.

"Of course I promise."

* * *

><p>Kurt groaned as he slowly regained consciousness. A small amount of light was pouring into his room.<p>

"Blaine?" he heard his father's voice announce. "Yeah, he's awake. Get to class and good luck on your finals. I imagine we'll be seeing you this afternoon? …That's what I thought. Bye, son."

Kurt rolled over to see his father sitting in the chair by the foot of his bed, tucking his cellphone back into his shirt pocket.

"What time is it?" Kurt mumbled grumpily.

"Well good morning to you too, sunshine," Burt laughed humorlessly. "It's seven forty-five in the morning."

"You look awful," Kurt replied, the fact that he was still half-asleep causing him to be completely without his normal filter.

"Thanks, kid," Burt muttered. "This is what you'll look like some day when you have to stay up all night watching your son's every movement."

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked. "Why are you watching me sleep?"

"What's the last thing you remember?" Burt countered, completely ignoring Kurt's questions. He didn't have the time or patience to play games with his son today.

"Well, I went over to Blaine's to help him study, and…wait, that can't be right because I'm here…"

"No, that sounds about right," Burt said. "You want to tell me about Dr. George?"

"Um, sure," Kurt answered, confused as to why his father wanted to discuss his new doctor right at that moment. "What do you want to know about him? He's a genius, I know that much—"

"He's you, Kurt!" Burt interrupted. "How long were you going to try to keep this from me?"

"Dad, what the hell are you talking about?" Kurt answered angrily, scrambling into a sitting position. "I've been seeing him for two weeks now, twice a week and he's really helping—"

"Cut the bullshit!" Burt yelled, standing up. "You're a lot of things, Kurt, but I never thought you were a liar. How could you keep this from me? You told me, you told everyone you were getting better. That the transitions had stopped."

"They have stopped!" Kurt cut him off, tears stinging his eyes. "I don't understand why you're yelling at me, I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Oh yeah?" Burt walked over to the bed and grabbed Kurt's left arm, extending it. "What's all this about, then, huh?"

For the first time since waking up, Kurt noticed that he was shirtless. Looking down at his arm, he winced at the ugly marks that covered it. Instinctively, his right hand went to the gash under his collarbone and he protectively covered it.

"I-I don't know," Kurt admitted. "I just…I wake up and they're there."

"Do you understand how serious this is?" Burt spoke gently, voice shaking now not only with anger, but fear and exhaustion. "Why didn't you tell me about this? Or Blaine or Carole or _somebody_? Kurt, you—"

"Because you've all been through enough!" Kurt screamed, yanking himself out of his father's grip and jumping up from the bed. "Because I was supposed to be getting better. Because I dragged you to that stupid hospital and made you pay all that money. Because I'm scared that Blaine is going to decide this is all too much and leave me—"

"Kurt—"

"No! I'm not done! Because my problems run this family. Because Finn gets teased now at school because of the stupid shit Gina and Conrad and the others have done in public—"

"Kurt, stop."

"Because I don't want to be the reason you die!" Kurt finished, face crumbling. Burt walked over to try to draw him into a hug, but Kurt abruptly turned and hurried into his bathroom. He didn't have time to shut the door behind him before he was on his knees, emptying the meager contents of his stomach into the toilet. Burt looked up at the ceiling for a moment, silently asking for help before he rushed to Kurt, kneeling and rubbing the back of his neck as he heaved.

A few minutes later, when Kurt finally stopped heaving, he leaned back heavily into his father, dissolving into sobs again.

"It's okay, son," Burt murmured, pulling his son closer to him on the cramped tile floor. "We'll get through this."

He repeated the words over and over to his son, hoping not only that they would eventually find their way to Kurt's ears, but more than that, he hoped with everything he had that if he spoke them enough, he'd believe them too.


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: Okay, wow. I'm super nervous about posting this chapter...this is intense. There's dialogue from the alters again in this chapter, so when it changes to italics, you'll know it's them. Yikes...okay, please let me know what you think.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 51<p>

It wasn't fair. Kurt had spent hours, days really, researching, making phone calls, waiting on hold for God knows how long. For once in his life, he really felt like an adult taking charge of his own well-being. He'd met with Doctor George after some initial reluctance on the world-renowned doctor's part. He'd asked him during consultation to at least give him a shot, two, maybe three sessions. He told the doctor all about his alters and all of the developments over the last four or five months and guaranteed that his case would be more unique than others he'd seen. Kurt knew, he told Doctor George. After all, he'd read all of the doctor's papers and books.

Finally Kurt begged. He wasn't proud of it, but it was his last chance, one final attempt to make the doctor see that without his help, Kurt would be back at square one. Lower than that, even. Kurt whole-heartedly believed that if all the progress he'd made was erased, everyone else would give up on him like he was trying so desperately not to do to himself.

And with a less than enthusiastic 'yes,' the doctor finally agreed to take him on, free of charge, with the understanding that he could use the information from their sessions for his next publication which was in the works. The doctor even drew up a waiver that Kurt signed prior to their first session. It was the same crumpled waiver that Burt Hummel was now holding in his hands.

"Kurt, this is—"

"Crazy?" Kurt cut him off, voice ragged and throat raw from all the retching a half hour prior. "Insane? Lunacy?"

"Elaborate," Burt finished. As upset as he was about the whole thing, he couldn't help but be in awe over everything laid out in front of him. There were, of course the library books and photocopies from the psychiatric journals of the real Doctor Evan George's work, but there was also a myriad of other documentation—the waivers, case notes, journals, the hours of work that all of it represented…when had Kurt had the time to do all of it in the past two weeks?

"Yeah, well that's me," Kurt muttered. "Elaborate in my psychosis."

"So let me get this straight," Burt said, deciding to ignore Kurt's last comment. "You had no idea that you were Doctor George? You really thought you were seeing the actual person?"

"Yes, Dad," Kurt groaned for what felt like the millionth time that morning. "It was real, it was all real."

"You didn't question it at all? The fact that this doctor just happened to move to Lima right when you needed him?"

"Did you question it?" Kurt asked, growing more and more defensive. "Yeah, it seemed too good to be true, but forgive me for thinking that for once in my stupid life, something fortunate was happening. That finally something good was coming my way."

Burt wanted to counter that. He wanted to remind Kurt that there were plenty of people like him out there that didn't have the kind of support he had. But something told him it wouldn't help matters to bring that up, so he kept his mouth shut.

"I don't feel Doctor George inside of me," Kurt spoke again. "Not like I feel the others. I've even started to feel Gimme's presence, but with the doctor, there's nothing there."

"Who's cutting you then?" Burt asked, finally broaching the subject he least wanted to confront. "If it's not you, which of the alters is doing it?"

"I…I don't know," Kurt answered honestly. "It's not Gina or Conrad, it's not Jamie or Gimme, and it's definitely not me. That only leaves Doctor George, but that doesn't make any sense. He wouldn't do that, he's trying to help me, not hurt me."

"Well, I'll agree that it doesn't make much sense," Burt grumbled. "But someone's doing this and if he's the only one unaccounted for—"

"Look," Kurt interrupted, determined to defend his newest alter for some reason. "Don't you think if it was Doctor George he would have cut me yesterday, while I was at the school? I remember the session, and he didn't come at me or anything. Come to think of it, wouldn't I remember him cutting me if I can remember sitting in sessions with him?"

Burt was growing more confused by the second, and from the look on Kurt's face, so was he.

"I am in way over my head," Burt whispered, more to himself than to Kurt. Even so, Kurt couldn't help but to nod in silent agreement.

* * *

><p><em>Conrad: It's Mark, you idiot! Can't you see? He's here, damn it, he's the one pulling all this shit!<em>

_Gina: Conrad, dear, he can't hear you._

_Conrad: Can't or won't? He was listening just fine before._

_Gina: Things are different now, there's just too much going on for him to be able to hear us, the poor darling._

_Conrad: Well don't you think it's about time we stepped in? Permission or not, he obviously needs our help._

_Doctor George: That's why I'm here. I'm helping him now and I highly doubt that you're capable of doing half as much as I, _Conrad_._

_Conrad: Gina, I swear to God, you better hold me back before I tear this quack to shreds._

_Gina: Now Conrad, the good doctor is just trying to help._

_Conrad: How much help is he if he's letting Mark try to kill Kurt? Or kill us? Jamie won't get out from underneath your skirt, for God's sake and Mark's got us all huddled in this corner, shakin' in our boots. How is that psychobabble bullshit keeping us safe?_

_Mark: All of you would shut up if you knew what was good for you._

_Jamie: P-please stop hurting us._

_Gina: Jamie, hush darling._

_Mark: No, let him. The little one can speak. What was that you said?_

_Jamie: Don't hurt Kurt anymore._

_Mark: Your voice is so soft, sweetheart, why don't you step a little closer._

_Conrad: That's it!_

_Gina: Conrad, no! Get back over here!_

* * *

><p>"Kurt! Wake up! Damn it, Kurt!"<p>

Burt had his head buried in the various papers that 'Doctor George' had written during their sessions, looking for answers when he heard a garbled yell come from Kurt on his bed. His body started jerking and his eyes darted back and forth frantically. Over the next few minutes, Kurt began transitioning rapidly, each alter staying for no more than a few seconds at a time, sometimes less than that. Burt had never seen anything like it. It was obvious that there was a battle raging inside of Kurt and it had sent him into overdrive.

Burt tried to get control of him, but it was useless. There was nothing he could do but watch, and make sure that there was nothing around that he could hurt himself with, but every now and then, whichever alter was responsible for hurting his son would appear and begin clawing at the healing wounds on his arms.

Finally Burt made the decision to physically restrain his son, his one desperate attempt to get control over the situation. Climbing on the bed and straddling him, it took all of his strength to hold Kurt's arms down to the bed. Whether it was the restraint, or sheer exhaustion, Kurt's head finally bowed and his body stilled.

"Kurt?" Burt called out tentatively, not ready to release his grip on Kurt's wrists. Slowly, Kurt's head lifted and his eyes opened, but something still wasn't right.

Kurt's eyes bored into Burt with such intensity that it frightened the elder Hummel. Even more scary was the slow, ugly sneer that crept up on his features.

"You. Will. Not. Win."

Before Burt had the chance to ask him what he was talking about, Kurt slammed his head back hard against the headboard. Burt heard it crack and instantly Kurt fell limp.

"Kurt? Shit, wake up son! Kurt!"

It was no use, he was out cold. Burt tried for several more seconds before pulling out his phone and dialing 911.


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N: This is going to be a long note, but I'm very excited about some things going on with this story, so I need to tell you all about it.**

**First and foremost, because I know a lot of people won't read through this entire note, there is a TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter. There is a description of non-eating disordered purging in this chapter. I realize that sounds kind of confusing, but it will make sense by the end of the chapter and if you are worried you might be triggered by this, or want some more information about it before you read PLEASE PM me. I'd rather you play it safe and I in no way mind giving you more details privately or describing the scene in a non-triggering way. Please take care of yourself!**

**Now, onto what I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT I CAN HARDLY STAND IT. One of my awesome readers/reviewers and now friend, paperstylehearts is in the process of creating fan art for this story! I'm blown away by the dedication she's put into each piece and I'm so proud of everything she's done and continues to do to help illustrate United States of Kurt. She's set up a deviantart account where you can view them, and her username is the same there as it is here: paperstylehearts. Please, please, PLEASE go show her some love and I know she'd appreciate any feedback you have for her.**

**Finally, most of you (or at least some of you) know about the ongoing turbulence at this site. People's stories are being removed and while I don't think any of mine are out of step with the guidelines, it's still a worrisome trend. I've made the decision to start hosting my stories on other sites, in addition to still updating here, although I'm still working on getting all that done. I would LOVE it if you checked in on my tumblr from time to time to not only see where I end up hosting my fic, but also for updates on paperstylehearts artwork, as I will be flailing my arms with joy, internet-style, as she updates her site.**

**(I know I said finally before, but I didn't mean it) FINALLY: A BIG SHOUTOUT to all of you who've been reviewing here lately. My reviews for this story have skyrocketed and it makes me feel so wonderful that you all put in the time and energy to provide me with feedback. You move me, people, you really do.**

tl;dr: TRIGGER WARNING, paperstylehearts at deviantart, follow me on Tumblr, you are all awesome.

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 52<p>

"Okay, so you'll take these twice a day, once right after breakfast and once after dinner. Got it?"

"Got it," Kurt answered with a tight smile and a resigned sigh. "Thank you, Nurse Julie."

"Of course, Kurt," she answered as she headed toward the door, Burt and Kurt close behind her. "Just make sure you follow up with your family doctor and psychiatrist within the next few weeks."

Kurt and Burt exchanged a look but didn't speak. Instead they followed the nurse out of the room and headed towards the exit.

They'd been at the emergency room almost twelve hours waiting to see the psychiatric doctor on call, so by the time Kurt was discharged, it was pitch black outside.

"Well at least it wasn't another concussion," Burt said, trying to look on the bright side. He knew Kurt was upset. It had taken nearly an hour with the psychiatrist to talk him into starting on the medications again. After a consultation with Dr. Simmons, who agreed to come back on board as Kurt's doctor after it was made abundantly clear that Kurt could still benefit from her services, the Hummel men were walking out of the emergency room, script in hand.

"I guess," Kurt mumbled, staring down at his feet.

"Listen, Kurt," Burt started, stopping his son as they neared the car. "I know this isn't what you wanted, but it's what—"

"What I need," Kurt interrupted. "I know, dad. It's just hard not to feel like a failure right now, that's all."

"You're not a failure—"

"Can we just not talk about it?" Kurt winced. He knew he was going to have to discuss the issue over and over again in the next few days, with his dad, with Blaine, with Dr. Simmons…he just wanted to pretend for one night, things were okay, despite that in the morning, everything would be different.

"Sure, kid," Burt answered with little hesitation. "Why don't you give Blaine a call? I've been updating him every so often, but I'm sure he'd like to hear from you."

"Good idea," Kurt said as they climbed into the car. Blaine had desperately wanted to come to the hospital to be with him, but Kurt asked him not to. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Blaine, it was just too overwhelming to wear the boyfriend hat while he was being poked and prodded for hours by different doctors and nurses. Now he was even more grateful that Blaine hadn't been there, because he had no intention of discussing the medication issue with him. Not that night, anyway.

"You know what?" Kurt spoke again after a minute of silence. "I'm just going to wait to see him face to face. He's at the house waiting and we'll be there in ten minutes."

"Okay," Burt answered, slightly confused as to why Kurt wasn't jumping at the opportunity to call Blaine. "But if he asked, you tell him I told you to call him."

"'Kay dad," Kurt said, blushing slightly. In all honesty, he had no idea why he was feeling so reluctant about Blaine, or why the feeling of dread inside of him intensified as they got closer and closer to the house, but he was too tired and too overloaded with the day's events to devote any energy to trying to figure it out.

"Home, sweet home," Burt announced as they pulled into the driveway. The unidentified ache deep in the pit of Kurt's stomach pulsated as he saw Blaine's car parked out front. As he climbed out of the car, he was startled by the near-tackle hug he received from Blaine, who'd apparently been waiting on the porch for his return.

"You're back!" Blaine exclaimed, and although Kurt's head was currently pinned over the other boys shoulder, he could hear the wide grin in his voice. "Is everything okay? What did the doctor say?"

"Blaine," Burt butted in after Kurt didn't answer. "Let's let him get inside and settled before bombarding him with questions, okay?"

"Right," Blaine answered sheepishly, stepping back from the bewildered Kurt. "Sorry about that, I just, uh….I was excited."

Kurt offered him a small smile before moving past him toward the front door. Blaine shot a confused and slightly hurt look at Burt as they followed him, but Burt just shrugged his shoulders and gave him a look back that indicated he was just as much in the dark as Blaine.

After they'd gotten inside, Kurt headed upstairs while Blaine made an excuse to hang back with Burt for a few minutes.

"Did I do something wrong?" Blaine asked once Kurt's bedroom door was closed.

"I don't think so, kiddo," Burt answered honestly. "It's just been a long day. His head hurts, obviously and—"

Burt cut himself off before he almost let the medication decision slip. Kurt had made him promise that he wouldn't tell Blaine about it, with the return promise on Kurt's end that he _would_ tell Blaine about it the next day.

"And?" Blaine prompted.

"And it's just been long day, okay? I don't think it's anything personal."

Burt patted him on the back and headed into the kitchen to find something to eat. Blaine knew there was something that Burt wasn't telling him and it made him upset, but he wasn't in a position to call him out on it. After all, Burt was letting him spend his winter break there with Kurt and he didn't want to screw that up.

"Okay, well," Blaine called after him, rubbing his hands together nervously. "I guess I'll just head up there and check on him."

He didn't wait for an answer before padding softly up the stairs. The light was on underneath the bedroom door, so Blaine knocked quietly. After a few seconds, Kurt opened the door and stepped aside to let him in.

"Hey," Blaine greeted softly. "I'm sorry again for earlier, I was just really happy to see you."

"Don't apologize," Kurt answered with an ambivalent wave. "I'm just…in a weird place right now, that's all."

"I was so worried about you," Blaine said as he sat down next to Kurt on the bed.

"Yeah, that's the problem," Kurt spoke so softly that Blaine thought he misheard him.

"What do you mean? What's the problem?"

Kurt drew in a deep breath. He didn't want to have this conversation after the day he'd had, but he owed at least that much to the boy who'd spent all day wearing tracks in the wooden slats of his front porch waiting for his unannounced arrival.

"I mean, you shouldn't be spending all of your time worrying about me," Kurt explained. "It's not fair to you—"

"Kurt, we've already had this discussion, I don't care, I love you."

"Okay then," Kurt countered, trying to ignore the desperate way Blaine's eyes had grown wide. "It's not fair to me."

"What do you mean?" Blaine could feel the bile rising up in the back of his throat. This conversation was not headed in a good place.

"Me worrying about you, worrying about me," Kurt shook his head, trying to dismiss the tears collecting in his eyes. "It's…it's too much for me to deal with right now."

"Kurt, you're kidding right? You're so much better than you ever have been, you're taking these huge steps forward—"

"Blaine, stop," Kurt interrupted, with more force than he'd intended. "Can't you see? I'm getting worse. All that stuff, the co-consciousness, the lack of transitions, can't you see it was all just the calm before the storm? Bad things are happening to me and I need all of my energy to focus on staying…healthy."

Kurt's first inclination was to say 'staying alive,' but there was no point in adding more drama to the situation, even if it was truly how he felt.

"I don't understand," Blaine shook his head, unable to look at Kurt in his eyes for a moment. "I thought we loved each other."

"We do, Blaine."

"Then why are you breaking up with me?"

"I'm not," Kurt shifted his body so he was facing Blaine more directly. "Blaine, look at me, I'm not breaking up with you, I just need some time to deal with the things going on in my life."

"I thought that's what you were doing for the month you wouldn't talk to me."

Blaine hadn't meant to sound so bitter, but he was completely blindsided by all of this.

"That's not the same situation, and you know it," Kurt answered. "I made so many positive steps in that month, remember?"

"So you're saying it's me, I'm the one that's making you worse."

"Blaine, that's not what I'm saying," Kurt groaned in frustration. "I'm saying it gave me the time to focus solely on myself. Do you know how hard it is to be your boyfriend? You're the single most attractive, well-rounded, amazing guy in all of Ohio. Do you realize the pressure that puts on your average-looking, albeit fashionable, certifiably nuts boyfriend?"

"Don't say that about yourself," Blaine answered fiercely, causing Kurt's heart to break even more than it already was. "You're anything but average, you're beautiful. And you're not crazy."

"My point is," Kurt continued. "I love you. So much. And if you truly love me, you'll give me the time I'm asking for and if it's meant to be, we'll be together. I just can't focus my attention on this relationship at this moment."

"That's not fair," Blaine blurted out.

"You know what, Blaine?" Kurt answered levelly. "You're talking to the wrong person about what's fair in life."

Blaine didn't answer. He knew he wasn't taking all of it very well, but it truly wasn't fair. He was willing to give Kurt everything and Kurt was throwing it all back in his face. Well, maybe not throwing it; it was more like he was folding it up neatly, placing it in a box with a ribbon, and handing it back to Blaine for safekeeping.

"I guess you want me to leave?" Blaine mumbled after a minute of awkward silence.

_No._

"Yes," Kurt answered, despite what his soul was screaming. "And Blaine, please try to understand, I love you and I'm not trying to—"

"Yeah," Blaine cut him off with a dismissive wave as he walked toward the bedroom door. "I get it."

As the door shut behind him, Kurt finally allowed his tears to flow freely. He was terrified by what he'd just done, but at the same time, his heart was settled. He loved Blaine enough to trust him that he'd be back, and he loved himself enough to take the risk.

* * *

><p>"Where you going, kid?" Burt called after Blaine as his son's boyfriend made a beeline for the front door. He was hoping to make it out unquestioned, but he should have known that Burt would be sitting in the living room, watching television.<p>

"Kurt, um, Kurt asked me to leave, so I'm leaving."

Burt opened his mouth to question what had happened, but one look at Blaine's face told him that it wouldn't be a good idea.

"Okay," he answered quietly. "Do me a favor and call me when you get back to Dalton safe, okay? It's late out and I'll worry about you if I don't hear from you."

"Okay," Blaine promised and stepped outside without saying goodbye. He just needed to make it to his car before he lost control of his emotions. The last thing he wanted was to be comforted by his boyfriend's father after his son had essentially broken up with him, at least for a while.

* * *

><p>"Breakfast was really good," Kurt told Carole after finishing his last bite. It wasn't often that he had pancakes, but after the day he'd had the day before, the pancakes were like a gift from the heavens.<p>

"Glad you liked them, sweetie," Carole answered, beaming.

"I'm just gonna go upstairs and take a shower and get dressed," Kurt said, getting up from the table and carrying his plate to the sink.

"Don't forget your pill," Burt called after him. He was still at the table, working on stack two of the pancakes.

"I won't," Kurt called back from halfway up the stairs.

He was a bit nervous. It was his first time going back on the medication since the spring, and he hoped that the side effects wouldn't hit him so hard this time around. He stepped into his bathroom, pulled out the pill bottle and emptied one into his waiting hand. He contemplated the pill for a moment before popping it in, letting it linger on his tongue for a moment while he filled up a glass with water from the tap. Taking a deep gulp, he felt the water gush down his throat, carrying the pill with it effortlessly.

He contemplated himself in the mirror for a moment before his vision started to cloud and his head felt heavy.

* * *

><p>Mark opened his eyes and looked into the mirror at himself. Well, at himself inside Kurt. He studied the boy, impressed with how he'd filled out over the years. In some ways though, he still looked like that little boy from years ago.<p>

With a smirk and a shake of his head, he walked to the shower and turned it on to full blast. Before he stepped in, however, he popped the lid of the toilet open, and bracing himself with his left arm on his knee, he forcefully shoved two fingers of his right hand to the back of his throat.

It was easy. Kurt wasn't in the habit of throwing up intentionally and his gag reflex was very sensitive. Within a few seconds, in a small sea of chewed up pancakes, he saw the little pink pill floating in the bowl and snickered. He flushed the toilet and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before stepping into the steaming hot shower.


	53. Chapter 53

**A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews as usual. You all are the absolute best! **

**It's been awhile since we've had some Niff action, so lets check in with them, shall we? Thanks for reading.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 53<p>

"Blaine, come on dude, this is getting ridiculous."

Jeff and Nick stood over Blaine's bed, looking at the boy sprawled out on the bed. He had his arm thrown over his face, shielding his eyes from the flood of sunlight that poured in when Jeff threw open the blackout shades covering his dorm room windows.

"It's been three days," Nick reasoned softly, opting for a gentler approach than his boyfriend. After several straight days of beating on the door only to be told to go away by the sad, muffled voice inside, they'd finally decided to sit there and knock until Blaine either had to let them in or go insane from the noise. It took close to an hour, but it finally worked.

"Will you just sit up and listen to us?" Jeff asked. "We're trying to help you, but you're not making it very easy."

"I don't want any help," Blaine mumbled pitifully. Jeff fought hard to resist rolling his eyes, but managed to do so after being shot a warning glance from Nick.

"Well too bad," Nick said with a smile, desperate to change the tone of the conversation. "We're gonna help you through this whether you like it or not."

"Guys, please, can't you just—"

"Alright," Jeff interrupted with a sigh. "I didn't want to play this card, but you leave me no choice."

Nick gave him a questioning glance, but Jeff just shrugged his shoulders and continued on.

"Remember that time that we covered for you when you forgot to call Kurt after his first transition in front of you?"

"Or that time we pretty much handed you and Kurt that duet at regionals?" Nick added, catching on.

"Let's not forget about the Gap Attack," Jeff continued. "And, Blaine, don't make me bring up he who's name rhymes with 'Debastian'—"

"Okay, okay, fine!" Blaine grumbled, finally sitting up and squinting angrily at the two, both of whom were looking quite satisfied with themselves.

"Wow, you look like crap," Jeff muttered, giving him a once-over.

"If you just came here to make fun of me, then leave."

"Blaine, stop being so dramatic," Jeff said, this time not bothering to suppress his eye-roll. "I mean, really. You're acting like Kurt wanting a break is the end of the world."

"It _is_ the end of the world," Blaine countered. "You don't understand, he basically broke up with me because I care about him too much. What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means," Nick answered, sitting down on the bed next to him. "That it's too much pressure on him right now, which, based on the blow-by-blow you gave us the other night, is exactly what he told you."

"I just don't understand," Blaine shook his head. "He's always talking about how he's afraid I'll get tired of dealing with his problems and leave, but when I show him how invested I am in him, it's too much pressure?"

"Okay, listen," Jeff butted in, sitting down on his other side. "You need to step outside of Blaine-land for a few minutes and put yourself in his shoes."

"Fine."

"Alright, so how many times a day do you talk to Kurt?"

"I don't know, usually twice, maybe three times? It depends."

"Okay," Jeff nodded. "And how many times do you talk to his _dad_? _About _him?"

Blaine took a moment to think about the point that Jeff was trying to make.

"So maybe I talk to his dad a lot too," Blaine conceded. "Doesn't that just show that I love him and I'm concerned about him?"

"Dude," Nick looked at him with wide eyes. "How would it make you feel if Kurt was calling your dad to discuss you and your mental health on a daily basis?"

"Oh…" Blaine trailed off sheepishly. They seemed to have a point there.

"Okay, exhibit number two," Jeff continued, counting their first point as a success. "What's more important to you, having Kurt healthy even if it means some temporary distance between the two of you, or having Kurt continue his downward slide due in part because you're a factor in his life that's overwhelming him right now?"

"That's not fair," Blaine argued. "Obviously I want him healthy, I just don't see how not being in a relationship with me is going to make that happen."

"That's the beauty and tragedy of it all, my friend," Jeff answered, patting him gently on the back. "You don't have to see it. It doesn't have to make sense to you. It makes sense to Kurt and he's the one who gets to decide."

The three boys were silent for a few minutes while they let the conversation sink in. Finally, Blaine spoke again, his voice coming out in a croak.

"I just feel so out of control."

"Now you know how Kurt feels," Nick answered sympathetically. "Like, all the time."

It wasn't until that moment that everything truly clicked for Blaine. He was being selfish, and Jeff was right. It didn't matter if none of it made sense to him, it only mattered that Kurt feel in control as much as possible. That was what would help him get better.

"You just have to trust that when the time is right, Kurt will be back around," Nick continued. "He loves you, there's no doubt about that, and you obviously love him, so just give him the time he's asking for and when he sees how much you respect his decision, it's only going to make him love you more."

"You think so?" Blaine asked, feeling vulnerable all of the sudden.

"Absolutely," Jeff piped in. "Now pull a comb through that disaster and get dressed, we're going for pizza and then you're coming over to our room for an epic Call of Duty marathon."

"It's double XP weekend," Nick added. And for the first time since Kurt told him to leave, Blaine smiled a genuine smile, because he knew that things would eventually be alright.

* * *

><p>It had been three days since Kurt started on the new medication, and he was pretty pleased with the results so far. He wasn't having any of the negative side effects like the time before and he hadn't transitioned once.<p>

Now it was Saturday afternoon and Kurt found himself heading downstairs to the medicine cabinet in the hall bathroom. As he rummaged through the various over-the-counter medications on the shelves, he heard a voice from behind him.

"Everything okay, sweetheart?"

Kurt turned around to find a concerned-looking Carole standing outside the bathroom.

"Yeah," Kurt answered. "I'm fine, just a sore throat that's all. I think I might be coming down with something."

"Here," Carole offered, squeezing into the small bathroom and pulling out exactly what Kurt was looking for without even a second glance.

"Thanks Carole," Kurt answered with a smile. He pocketed the throat spray and followed her out of the bathroom.

"Sure thing, darling, just let me know if you start feeling feverish, we'll get you to the doctor."

"I think one hospital visit was quite enough for one week," he said with a chuckle. "But thank you."

"Just make sure you're taking care of yourself," Carole spoke warmly. "You and Finn mean the world to me, okay?"

"I will," Kurt promised. "I think I'm just going to go upstairs and take a long bath."

With that, Kurt climbed steadily back up the stairs to his bathroom and started the water in the tub. Giving his throat a couple of sprays, he immediately began to feel the numbing effects, but he couldn't help notice how raw the back of his throat looked.

"Hmm," he muttered. With everything else going on in his life, a possible cold wasn't anything he couldn't handle. Watching himself in the mirror, he drew his layered shirts over his head and began unzipping his jeans when something caught his eye.

At first, he didn't want to believe what he saw. There was no way it could happen again, he hadn't transitioned at all since starting the medication. Yet there it was, a thin, angry, red gash from the bottom of his ribcage to just below his navel. It couldn't be more than a few hours old and when Kurt reluctantly picked his undershirt up from the bathroom floor and turned it inside out, he saw the mark from where the blood had seeped through.

After one last long look at the gash in the mirror, Kurt angrily balled up the undershirt and threw it in the garbage can by the toilet. With shaky hands, he once again reached for his first aid kit under the counter and went to work on the cut.

Once it was bandaged up, he returned his gaze to the mirror and stared his reflection down, with a ferocity that would have frightened him in any other situation.

"I don't know who you are," Kurt growled. "Or why you are doing this. But you will stop. You will not destroy me and if you keep trying, I will destroy you."

Kurt hoped that whoever was responsible for the injury was listening. He also hoped that whoever it was didn't realize just how frightened Kurt was in that moment for his own life.


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: Okay, this chapter isn't the longest, but there's A LOT going on, so pay attention. Whoosh...this is another one I'm a bit nervous about, but I really look forward to hearing your reactions as always. **

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 54<p>

Kurt sunk low in the tub, eternally grateful for the water-proof bandages he'd had the foresight to replace in his first aid kit. Closing his eyes and taking deep shuddering breaths, he tried to calm his racing heart, at least enough to be able to think clearly. And wasn't that always the problem? His inability to cut through the fog, to remember details and reconstruct timelines, all of it contributed to Kurt's mistaken belief that the medication was working.

But why shouldn't he believe that it was working? It always had in the past. He didn't want to confront the fact that even on the drugs, he couldn't keep from harming himself. Opening his eyes, he stared against the opposite wall, trying to make sense of it all. If he could only figure out when he transitioned to make that cut, maybe he could isolate it and keep it from happening again. He wasn't sure how, but every little bit would help at this point.

After a few minutes his gaze fell toward the toilet to the left of the tub. Squinting, he shifted closer, trying to get a better look at the mark on his usually impeccably clean commode.

"What _is_ that?" he muttered to himself, wrinkling his nose in disgust. Reaching out, he brushed his fingers over the dried, reddish track, causing some of the substance to flake off.

Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Within seconds, pieces of the puzzle were flying together, creating a terrifying picture in Kurt's mind. The sore throat, the mark on the toilet, the weird abrasion that had developed on his knuckles on his right hand…he'd sat through enough Eating Disorder Week presentations at McKinley to know the signs. Whatever or whomever was causing him to cut himself was also causing him to throw up, and when Kurt reached back into his memory from the last few days, the only meal he could really remember was lunch, which meant…

"The pills," he said aloud. One of his alters didn't want him taking the pills and was causing him to expel them. It was the only thing that made any sense. But why? Kurt knew it wasn't Jamie, Gina, Conrad or the doctor, none of them would purposely harm him, and as far as he knew, Gimme didn't have the wherewithal to do something that diabolical. All of the sudden, Kurt was faced with the reality that someone else was in there. Someone who, unlike his other alters, wasn't there to help him.

* * *

><p>Burt was standing at the open refrigerator, trying to decide what he wanted to fix for lunch. It was a lazy Saturday and while he fully intended to catch up on some projects around the house, he hadn't quite gotten up the energy yet. As he was pulling out the deli meats, he felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and frowned at the unfamiliar number before answering.<p>

"Hello?"

"_Uh, yes, is this Mr. Hummel?"_

"Yes it is, can I help you?"

"_Mr. Hummel, this is Richard Oliver."_

"Mr. Oliver, it's good to hear from you," Burt acknowledged in surprise. His heart immediately started pounding at the prospect of some news from the private investigator he'd hired months ago to track down Mark Szabo.

"_Well, I've got some news for you. Do you have a few minutes?"_

"Yeah, absolutely," Burt answered, sitting down at the kitchen table and standing right back up, too nervous to do anything but pace.

"_It's taken quite a bit of searching, but I'm happy to report that I've found Mark."_

* * *

><p><em>Gina: Jamie? Jamie dear, where are you?<em>

_Conrad: Jamie! This ain't funny, now wherever you're hiding, you better get out here right this second!_

_Gina: Heavens, where could he be? Conrad, where has he run off to?_

_Conrad: I don't know, but he's gotta be around here somewhere. He hasn't left your side in weeks, don't you remember him wandering off?_

_Gina: No, I-I turned my back for just a second and he was gone, I just don't know—_

_Mark: You won't find him._

_Conrad: You stay out of this! This is no concern of yours!_

_Gina: W-what do you mean we won't find him, Mark?_

_Conrad: Don't talk to him Gina, he's just trying to make you scared._

_Mark: You won't find him because I made sure he couldn't be found. The little brat was making too much noise._

_Conrad: Because you terrified him, you son of a bitch! I oughta cut your tongue out right here and now!_

_Gina: Mark, Mark please, tell me what you did to Jamie, for Heaven's sake, he's just a little boy!_

_Mark: If you know what's best for you, both of you will shut up or you'll end up where Jamie is and I promise you, it's nowhere good._

_Conrad: You—_

_Mark: I SAID SHUT UP!_

* * *

><p>Kurt jolted awake. The tub had grown cold and his skin was beyond wrinkly from soaking for far too long. Something was wrong. Something was missing, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Whatever it was, he didn't feel right. He didn't feel whole.<p>

Shivering, he climbed out of the tub, reaching for the towel he'd placed on the sink and quickly wrapped up in it. He looked at his reflection in the mirror for a moment before drying off and heading into his bedroom to grab a change of clothes.

"Kurt?"

Kurt heard his father's muffled voice calling from downstairs. Pulling his shirt over his head, he walked over to the bedroom door and pulled it open.

"Yeah dad?"

"Can you come down for a moment? Carole and I need to talk to you."

"Sure," he called back, suddenly nervous about what it was his dad was referring to. Had he seen the new cut somehow? Heard him throwing up earlier? Whatever it was, there was no use in delaying it any longer. He trudged downstairs and found his dad and Carole sitting at the kitchen table.

"Have a seat son," his dad spoke gently.

"Am I in trouble?" Kurt asked, hating how childlike he sounded in that moment.

"No, kiddo," Burt assured with a sad smile. "I just got a phone call from the private investigator we hired to track Mark down."

"Oh," Kurt answered, wanting to ask for more details, but finding himself unable to form the words.

"He finally found him, but it's…" Burt trailed off, apparently hit with the same sudden affliction as his son.

"He's in hospice care in Dayton, honey," Carole filled in, taking Burt's hand encouragingly.

"Hospice?" Kurt echoed, confused. "So he's…"

"Apparently, it's stage four Hodgkin's," Carole continued. "He won't get better, and he's…well according to Richard he doesn't have a whole lot of time left."

"This is, I can't handle this right now," Kurt muttered, getting up from the table. "This is too much, I need—"

"Kurt?"

Burt and Carole stood up as Kurt's eyes rolled back slightly and his head started to bow. They braced him on either side, unsure if Kurt was about to pass out or transition. Finally, Kurt's body went rigid and his head shot up, eyes scanning the room quickly.

"Kurt, are you okay?"

"It's Jamie," he answered, fear causing his voice to waver. "Jamie's gone somewhere."

"What do you mean, son—"

"Jamie is missing!" he shouted frantically. "I can't find him! I need…I need to find Teddy."

Burt and Carole exchanged a confused look as Kurt ripped his arms out of their grasps and bolted up the stairs.

"What the hell was that about?" Burt asked aloud. Carole was in the process of answering when they heard an anguished cry from Kurt's room. Without a word, they both rushed up the stairs and ran straight into Kurt's room, looking for the source of the tortured noise. Kurt was nowhere to be found, but the French doors on his walk-in closet were wide open. They walked over and found Kurt curled up on the floor, holding a mangled Teddy, stuffing spilling out from severed limbs.

"Oh my God," Kurt sobbed. "He's gone, he killed him. He killed Jamie."

"Kurt, son," Burt answered frantically, getting down on the ground next to him. "What do mean? Who killed Jamie?"

"Mark. He killed him."


	55. Chapter 55

**A/N: TRIGGER WARNING - This chapter contains allusions to drug-use that may be triggering in the first 5 paragraphs. Tread lightly or skip if this is a trigger issue for you, please.**

**Thank you for reading and as always, I appreciate hearing your comments/reactions.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

* * *

><p>Chapter 55<p>

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Kurt muttered to himself, as he had on the four previous occasions in the last few days when he found himself quietly pounding his pill into dust. It took a while to break it all up until it was nothing more than powder, especially since he didn't want to make so much noise that it attracted Carole's or his father's attention. The last thing he needed was for one of them to walk in and catch him snorting drugs, even if they were prescribed.

It was the only way he could think of to keep the medication in his system, short from compounding it into a liquid and shooting it up. He decided that scenario would be much worse for his dad to walk in on. So far, for the past few days, it seemed to work. No new cuts on his body or cloudy memories, aside from the expected drug haze that he'd grown to hate the last time around. As much as he hated to admit it though, it was a decent trade-off. Being on the medication was not only safer for Kurt, but it was safer for those around him. If Mark killed Jamie and was mutilating Kurt, who's to say he wouldn't target other people all together. Kurt shuddered at the possibility.

It had been really hard for Kurt to try to explain the situation with Jamie to his dad and Carole, but in the end, he had no choice but to be honest with them. Kurt had a new alter, a Mark alter, and he was terrorizing the others inside him. He was also the one responsible for Kurt's injuries.

In the end, Kurt decided to leave out the part about Mark taking over and expelling the pills. Instead, he made up some lame story about forgetting to take his medication a few times and explained that he probably transitioned due to the inconsistency. He swallowed his pride and took the anticipated scolding from his father and promised that he'd remember to take them in the future, no matter what. Thankfully, Burt agreed to allow Kurt to continue monitoring his own medication rather than take the job over himself, like Kurt had anticipated. He knew he wouldn't be so lucky next time.

With a heavy sigh, Kurt shook his head and pulled out the cut-off plastic straw he'd stashed away in his desk drawer and held it to his nose. Closing off one nostril, he snorted the pinkish-white line all the way up before dropping the straw and rubbing at his nose furiously. He still hadn't gotten used to how much it tickled.

"If only the New Directions could see me now," he laughed humorlessly to himself. He felt so utterly alone in that moment, sitting in his room, engaged in a seemingly illicit behavior that was undeservedly shameful while at the same time, being possibly the one thing that was keeping him safe. All of his friends were at home now, decorating Christmas trees or visiting with families. Kurt could probably call any one of them and they might come over, or meet him in town to do some shopping, but none of them knew what he was going through. It would be disingenuous, fake and their conversations would reflect it.

More than ever, Kurt wanted someone to talk to, to really communicate with, but his options were slim, in terms of the people who really knew him. There was Finn, who was loving and supportive to a certain extent, but not really the best person to have a deep conversation with. There was Carole or his dad, but Kurt needed a friend in that moment, not a parent.

Then there was Blaine. It had been a little less than a week since Kurt told his boyfriend he needed a break, but he'd felt every second of it. The minute Blaine walked out of the door, Kurt felt less than whole, even if he knew it was the right decision. Now with Jamie gone too, the hole was that much bigger and who knew who Mark would go after next if he had the opportunity. Gina? Conrad? As much trouble and embarrassment as his alters sometimes gave him, he couldn't bear to think about losing another. Out of everyone in his life, his alters knew him best of all and losing them was akin to losing a part of himself and he couldn't afford to slide down that hole any further.

He'd half-expected Blaine to call, or even text to try to talk him out of his decision, but Kurt hadn't heard from the other boy since he left his house that night. Kurt didn't know what to make of that. On one hand, he was thankful that he didn't have to deal with explaining his decision to him again, but on the other hand, it made him miss Blaine even more, and wonder if this whole situation had given Blaine the push he needed to move on from Kurt.

"Kurt, let's go!"

Kurt heard his father's voice call from downstairs. He quickly cleaned the residue from his desk and got up to look at himself in the mirror before heading downstairs. His eyes were bloodshot, but hopefully his father and Carole wouldn't notice. He could probably explain that he just had a sneezing fit if pressed, since his nose was red as well, from the irritation.

After the fiasco with Teddy in the closet, an emergency meeting with Doctor Simmons had been arranged and it was decided that Kurt needed to confront real Mark while there was still time. Mark's prognosis wasn't good and he'd already been in hospice care for over a month. The doctors gave him a few weeks to live and there was no hope of recovery. If Kurt didn't confront his real-life demon now, he'd never get the chance.

It wouldn't be a long trip, an hour and a half at the most. Burt, Carole, Finn and Kurt were all going, plus Doctor Simmons, who would be driving separately. It surprised Kurt that when the doctor contacted the hospice to speak to Mark, he'd agreed to the meeting immediately. Maybe it was something about impending death, knowing that he couldn't be punished for what he'd done. Or maybe it was to give himself closure for the things he'd done to Kurt. Maybe he felt like the cancer _was_ his punishment. Kurt didn't know, and he wasn't sure if that was something he'd want to ask when he got there.

Considering how sudden the whole thing was, Kurt wasn't really sure where his head was in all of it. Doctor Simmons had tried to prepare him for any possible situation. She told him Mark might deny the whole thing, or blame it on Kurt or laugh at him and tell him he misinterpreted their friendship. But even hearing those possibilities out loud, Kurt was left feeling numb. He didn't want to confront Mark, not really, but like his dad and Carole and the doctor, he hoped that by seeing the real Mark, and seeing that he was on his death bed, it might compel his alter Mark to die as well. It was a long shot, but with only a few weeks to accomplish this, and maybe less, Kurt didn't have much choice but to take a stab at it.

Climbing silently into the back seat of the car next to Finn, both Burt and Carole turned around in their seats to face him.

"You ready, kiddo?" his dad asked, his nerves showing more than usual.

"Does it matter?" he answered levelly, the expression on his face impossible to read.

"Kurt, if you really don't want to do this—"

"It doesn't matter," Kurt cut his stepmother off, answering his own question. "It doesn't matter if I want to reunite with my abuser or not, I didn't _want_ to be molested in the first place, I didn't _want_ to develop a psychological condition—"

"Kurt," his father warned at the same time Finn let out a soft, "Dude…"

"I'm sorry," Kurt groaned sincerely. "I just…I just need some quiet time to think. Can we just drive, please?"

He gave Carole a look that he hoped conveyed his apologies and she seemed to get the message before turning around in her seat.

The tension in the car remained though, for the entirety of the trip to Dayton and as they pulled into the hospice parking lot, Kurt's heart began to pound uncontrollably. For the first time, he allowed himself to believe that this was actually happening, that there was no turning back, and for one of the first times since going on medication, Kurt was actually thankful to have it coursing through his veins. Without it, he knew there was no way he'd still be in control.

"It's time," his father said simply, turning the car off. With a deep breath, Kurt unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the car door. On shaky legs, and with Carole and Burt on either side of him and Finn behind, he started making his way toward the front door.

Ready or not, it was time to face Mark.


	56. Chapter 56

**A/N: Okay, so this is it. It isn't the last chapter, but it's the one I've been mapping out since I started this story almost five months ago. Needless to say, I'm quite terrified to post it. I've done my very best to make sure it isn't triggering, but as always, please tread lightly. You may hate me after reading it, but that's okay, you can tell me all about it if you'd like. As always, I appreciate your feedback and thank you for reading.**

**Oh, and for the purposes of this story, Kurt's mom died when he was eight. I'm honestly not sure if that's canon or not.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 56<p>

"Okay, so after discussing it with Kurt at our last session, I think it would be best if he went in to speak to Mark alone, at least at first."

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Doc."

"Yeah, what if he tries to pull something with Kurt?"

"Finn, sweetie, I don't think he's in a position to do that."

"What about the things I have to say to him, huh?"

"Mr. Hummel, please—"

"Everybody stop!" Kurt's hushed, but urgent plea put an instant halt to the increasingly loud debate going on in the lobby of the hospice. "We've gone over all of this already. Now, I appreciate your support, I really do, and it means a lot to me that you all came with me to do this, but Doctor Simmons is right. I want the opportunity to talk to him one on one first, and then maybe, depending on how it goes, some or all of you can come in."

"Kurt—"

"Dad," Kurt interrupted his father. "I'm an adult now. I know you're worried, but Carole is right. Based on what we've been told, he's in no position to do me any harm."

"Yeah, well, maybe not physically, but with his words—"

"I'll be fine. I've taken my meds today and I feel strong. I can do this."

Kurt used every ounce of determination in his body to convey confidence and self-assuredness to his father as they engaged in one of their famous stare-downs. In reality, Kurt felt like he was going to puke. He hoped that he wasn't shaking as bad on the outside as he was on the inside and if his father detected even a hint of uncertainty, there would be no way he could talk him out of going into that room to confront Mark with him.

"Alright, son," Burt finally relented and Kurt finally allowed his shoulders to sag a bit.

"Okay, well with that settled," Kurt spoke, drawing in a final, deep breath. "I'm ready."

* * *

><p>His whole body ached. It didn't matter that he was on so many different pain medications that the nurse's aide was in his room every fifteen minutes to check his IV fluids and vital signs. It didn't matter that the whole point of hospice care was to make the act of dying more bearable. Every breath, every movement caused him a great deal of pain, far worse than anything he'd ever experienced previously in life.<p>

Sure, there were times when the pain wasn't as great, but he hardly remembered them. If he wasn't aching all over, he was completely exhausted, deliriously so, so that those times didn't even count. He was in excruciating pain or he was too out of it to know the difference.

As of his doctor's last visit, his timeline had shrunk to just ten to fourteen days. That's all he had left, even as a best case scenario. Well, the best case scenario would have him gone by that afternoon, if you asked him. When you know you're going to die no matter what, and the pain is so bad, there's no point in delaying the inevitable. Had he known it would get this bad, he would have killed himself while he still had the physical strength to do so.

He was almost ready for death. He was prepared, for the most part. There was just one thing left, and it was something he never expected he'd have the opportunity to do, but lo and behold, he was about to come face to face with the one area in his life where he desired closure the most. He'd done some bad things in his life, he knew that, but none quite compared to the crimes he'd committed against Kurt Hummel. He'd spent years and years agonizing over it, but he was always too afraid, too ashamed to confront it. He could make excuses why, but the real reason was incredibly selfish. He didn't want to spend his life in prison. He loved his freedom too much and he was terrified of the treatment that he'd received once his fellow prisoners found out what he'd did.

But life has a funny way of handling people like himself. He didn't consider himself a superstitious person, and he wasn't inclined to believe in karma, but part of him wondered if lying on a hospital bed in a sickly, pale hospice room in constant pain wasn't his punishment.

He would probably never know the answer to that, but he hoped that after his meeting with Kurt, he'd feel completely ready and willing to leave his life behind.

* * *

><p>"Right this way, Mr. Hummel," the nurse's aide gestured toward the closed door of room seven and with a sad half-smile, she made her way back down the hall, leaving Kurt alone with his fear and reservations. Rather than dwell on them, he decided to push it all aside in his mind and dive in. It was now or never and the longer he lingered outside, the more fearful he'd become.<p>

He softly knocked on the door as a warning before slowly tugging down the door handle and allowing the door to creak open. With more effort than he thought he'd need, he forced his gaze upward from the floor to where Mark lay, broken and dying on the bed.

"Mark?" he asked softly, hating the way his voice was already shaking. He stood in the doorway, waiting from some sort of direction from the other man. He didn't look anything like Kurt remembered, or rather, the pictures he'd seen of him. In reality, Kurt himself had no memories of what happened and with Jamie gone, he didn't know if he ever would.

"Yeah," the man on the bed answered, sounding just as scared as Kurt, which surprised him. "Please, um, please have a seat."

Mark gestured weakly to the chair next to his bed. He didn't blame Kurt when the boy pulled it to the far end of the small room before sitting down.

"I don't really know how this is supposed to work," Kurt admitted after a few moments of awkward silence. Of course he'd thought of things he wanted to say to the man who'd robbed him of a normal life, but he hadn't really thought about how to break the ice.

"Me neither," Mark admitted with a small, apologetic smile. "Listen, Kurt—"

"Don't," Kurt interrupted him, holding his hand up for emphasis. "Don't say my name."

Mark stared at the boy, perplexed. There were tears gathering in his eyes and despite the forceful way in which he spoke, Mark didn't detect any anger. Mark had prepared himself for anger from the boy, he definitely deserved it, but he hadn't expected this.

"I-I'm sorry," Mark stammered. "I didn't mean to…"

He trailed off, not really knowing what to say next and again the two found themselves listening to the hums and beeps of the various machines gathered around the hospital bed.

"I don't know what all you've been told," Kurt finally spoke quietly. "But I've got a lot going on, a lot of struggles and it's because of the things that you did to me."

"I know—"

"Just," Kurt cut him off. "Please, just listen, I need to get this all out at once or it's not going to happen. I don't remember the things that you did to me. My whole childhood is a foggy memory and one that I can't make sense out of. I don't remember anything before the age of six, really and the real tragedy in that, aside from missing out on being a kid is that my mom died when I was eight. Sh-she got sick when I was six though, so that's all I remember about her. I mean, I remember her laugh and the way she loved me, but I don't have any memories of her being healthy, and that's…it's really hard.

"I'm getting off track, though. I don't remember any of these things because in order to cope with the things that you did, my mind developed these different alters, they um, they take over when things get too difficult and they fight my battles for me. I haven't been able to lead a normal life because I'm never quite in control of my own body or mind. Do you know how that feels? I mean, I guess you know about the body part, especially now, but to have your brain hijacked for hours or days at a time and to wake up with no recollection of it? You can't possibly know how difficult that is.

"I just need to know something, Mark, and I know this is the only opportunity that I'll ever have to ask you because you're…you're dying, but I feel like you owe me at least one answer. Why? Why did you hurt me? I was just a little boy and I obviously trusted you. Why did you do those things to me?"

Mark took a deep breath, despite how bad the pain was in his chest when he did so. He knew Kurt would ask this question and he'd thought about his answer, not just since learning that Kurt wanted to meet with him, but for years.

"My first inclination is to say, 'I don't know,'" Mark admitted. "But that's not fair to you at all. You deserve a real answer. The truth is, I was really confused at that point in my life. This is by no means an excuse for my behavior, but I was molested when I was younger, about the same age as you when we met. There was so much shame and embarrassment tied to that experience, especially when I told my parents and they completely ignored it. They told me that if other people knew, they'd look down on us, that it would be an embarrassment for the entire family. I was much younger than my siblings and at the time, my brother Allen, Edward's dad, was running for Senate and my family was so worried that something like this would break the campaign. So I didn't get any help, I didn't get any retribution and I didn't have anyone to talk to about it, or to tell me that it wasn't my fault.

"The whole thing just got buried amongst my family members. But I never let it go, I thought about it every moment of every day, I couldn't get these images or thoughts out of my mind and over time, I don't know if it was my way of coping with it or what, but over time I began romanticizing it. If no one around me saw it as a problem or a deviation from the norm, then maybe it wasn't wrong, you know? I mean, in my heart I still knew it was wrong, but pretending it wasn't made the whole thing much more bearable in my mind. I started convincing myself that what my abuser did, he did out of love and I got this idea in my head that it was normal for a grown-up and a child to have this kind of relationship.

"I know it sounds crazy, but you know how you were saying your brain created these alters and they took control of your mind in stressful situations? I kind of feel like my brain was hijacked too. Looking back, I know my thought process was completely fucked up and any normal, healthy person would never think the things I thought.

"I want to stress to you, Ku—I'm sorry, I won't say your name. I want you to know that I'm one hundred percent responsible for my actions against you. I don't lay the blame on the things that happened to me as a child. So many children are abused, but most of them don't grow up to become abusers themselves. I had a choice, and I chose to do wrong. Against you. And I'm so sorry for that. I wish I had something better to tell you, some magic words that will take all the pain away, but I don't. All I can say is that I'm sorry, and that I really wish I hadn't hurt you."

Kurt took a minute to absorb everything Mark was telling him. He hated the sympathy that was swelling in his chest for the dying man.

"Why didn't you turn yourself in, when you realized all this?" Kurt asked, anger rising within him, almost as a way to guard his heart against softening to Mark's own disclosure. "You ran away, but you could have made this right years ago."

Again, Mark had been expecting this question, but it didn't make it any easier to hear.

"I was scared," he answered honestly. "I knew what happened to people like me in prison and I was terrified. I selfishly convinced myself that you had found a way to move on, to forget about everything that happened. I minimized what I'd done, to the point where I'd convinced myself that it was all nothing. I'm not proud of that, but again, I think you deserve the honest truth."

"I appreciate that," Kurt answered, with great difficulty. It was hard to hear, but he was glad that Mark wasn't sugar-coating it or trying to make excuses for his behavior.

Again the room fell into silence. Kurt looked around nervously while Mark stared at the various tubes and needles going into his arms and hands.

"Are you ready for this?" Kurt blurted out. "For death, I mean?"

He hadn't meant for it to sound so harsh, but judging from Mark's lack of a reaction, he imagined that the man understood his meaning.

"I am now," Mark answered simply. "I thought I was ready before, but there was still something holding me back and I wasn't sure what it was until I found out that you had tracked me down. Now I know that that I needed to apologize to you in order to be ready for the inevitable. I would hope for your forgiveness, but I won't put you in an awkward position by begging for it. I've taken enough from you as it is."

Kurt nodded and thought about this. After a few moments, he answered.

"I don't forgive you," he stated bluntly. "Not yet, but I think I can, some day. I wouldn't have, I know that for sure, if I hadn't had the opportunity to talk to you. There's still a lot of shit I need to work through and I'm so _angry_ at you…I can't even really put it into words. But I'm glad you agreed to meet with me and I hope that it helps me get to where I should be."

"Thank you for coming today," Mark answered. "I know I didn't deserve it, not for a long shot, but thank you for giving me the opportunity to apologize before….before I go."

"Okay," Kurt said, getting up from his chair. "I'm going to go now. I, um, I hope the next few weeks are okay for you."

Part of Kurt wanted to say more, to wish him a pain-free, easy transition from this world into the next, but he couldn't speak those words honestly, so he chose the most diplomatic words he could, given his feelings toward the man who'd destroyed his childhood.

Mark didn't answer, he simply nodded to the boy and with that, Kurt was on his way. He knew his father would probably be upset that Kurt didn't give him the opportunity to be in the room with him during their conversation, at least for part of it, but Kurt couldn't concern himself with that now. He was disturbed by the short conversation, to say the least, and he wasn't sure how he felt about his abuser as he left that room, knowing Mark would be dead by the end of the month, but he did feel a sense of closure.

And that was all that mattered.


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N: Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter everyone. This chapter is arranged a bit differently than previous ones, but hopefully it isn't too hard to follow. There's just a lot of switching back and forth, so be warned. Thanks for reading.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara.**

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><p>Chapter 57<p>

As soon as he stepped through the doorway at Breadstix, Blaine began scanning the room looking for his lunch date. All he'd received was a cryptic _"meet me at Breadstix at two"_ text message from the other boy and rather than argue or ask why, he decided to simply comply. If something was wrong, Blaine didn't want to mess up his chances of getting back into his boyfriend's life.

On his second pass over the unusually crowded dining room, Blaine finally saw the other boy sitting at the back corner table of the restaurant, waving him over. With a slight nod and more than a little feeling of relief, Blaine made his way over, squeezing past overstuffed tables and patrons and narrowly missing a nasty run-in with a waiter, arms laden with hot dishes.

"Hey Blaine," the other boy greeted once Blaine finally arrived at the table. "Thanks for meeting with me, have a seat."

Blaine complied. The other boy looked nervous, which didn't help put Blaine at ease at all.

"What is this all about Finn?" he asked, staring intently at Kurt's brother sitting across from him. "Is Kurt alright? Does he even know you're here?"

"Um, no, he doesn't know," Finn answered bashfully. "There's just some stuff going down and I thought since you're his boyfriend you should know—"

"Look, Finn," Blaine interrupted, hating himself for the words coming out of his mouth. "I appreciate you trying to keep me in the loop, but this isn't what Kurt wants and I want to respect his decision."

"Have you been worried about him?" Finn asked, after a short pause.

"I mean, yeah, of course I've been worried about him," Blaine said. "I think about him constantly and I haven't heard from him since that night over three weeks ago."

"Well how about this," Finn started again, his brow furrowed in a way in which Blaine could almost see the gears in his mind turning. "You and I are friends, right?"

"Yeah, I-I guess so—"

"Okay, well as my friend, I need you to know about some stuff," Finn continued. "Life at my house is really stressful right now and I need a friend who knows the background to help me sort through some of this stuff before I go insane."

The look of near desperation in Finn's stare was enough to make Blaine believe that, indeed, Finn wasn't so much doing Blaine a favor by keeping him updated with Kurt as he was genuinely seeking someone out to whom he could vent. When Blaine thought about it, aside from himself and Kurt's parents (and, of course, Nick, Jeff and Sebastian) no one else knew about Kurt's DID. Since Finn wasn't close to any of the Warblers, there was only so much he could confide in his parents about since they were probably just as stressed out at home.

The more Blaine thought about it, the more he was able to convince himself that he was going against Kurt's wishes for the benefit of Finn's wellbeing.

"Alright, Finn," Blaine finally answered with a guilty reluctance fighting for dominance with a greedy desire to _know_. "What's going on?"

* * *

><p>It was eight days after his visit with Mark that Kurt's father called him downstairs to deliver the news that Mark had passed. Kurt didn't understand why his eyes immediately filled up with tears and he didn't know how he ended up in his father's arms, as if clutching on for dear life. There were so many feelings raging through him at once that he couldn't make sense of it if he tried.<p>

The overriding feelings were ones of anger and frustration though, and like so many times before, Kurt's first reaction in the face of such was to cry. He hated that about himself. It only lent credence to the belief of those around him that he was delicate, too delicate to handle such gruff emotions. He didn't want to believe that about himself, but then again, he didn't have the best record for coping with such feelings in the past.

Kurt had been right when he walked out of Mark's room that day, not bothering to look back. His father was beyond upset at first that he didn't get a crack at Mark himself. But when he finally stopped and looked into his son's eyes while he explained the conversation, it was enough to keep him from busting down the doors to get to the man who'd dared touch his son.

Kurt was exhausted on the drive home and within minutes of leaving the hospice parking lot he was asleep. He woke up long enough to stumble into the house and up the stairs to his bed before falling back into a deep sleep for the next twelve hours. For the next week, he dutifully crushed up his pills at the instructed time, snorted them and promptly fell back asleep. He didn't transition at all, a fact made apparent by both his lack of any co-conscious experiences as well as a lack of signs from his destructive alter. No bruises, no cuts…Kurt wondered if alter Mark was even still within him. Maybe meeting the real-life Mark had driven him from Kurt's mind. At least, that was what he hoped.

Burt worried during that week that his son was sleeping too much, eating too little, and not taking the time to process everything that had happened. The time span between Mr. Oliver locating Mark, informing them that he was on his death bed and the actual meeting had been so short that Burt couldn't help but wonder if it was all too much for Kurt to handle. But it wasn't like he could sleep forever right? Eventually he'd have to get up and face life.

Burt didn't have to wonder much longer. On that eighth day, in the early afternoon, he'd received a call from the hospice that Mark passed away several hours earlier. Before their arrival for his meeting with Kurt, Mark had agreed to put the Hummels on his notification list. Mark figured that Kurt deserved to know when his tormentor was no longer a threat, real or imaginary. In truth, the Hummels were the only ones on his notification list, a fact that the hospice, not knowing all the sordid details, always thought sad.

He'd expected relief from his son when he told him the news, maybe even a small smile, however sorrowful. Perhaps he should have been expecting Kurt's reaction, since it was so decidedly _Kurt_, but even after all these years, his initial inclination was always that Kurt would react the way _he_ would, should the roles be reversed. As he held his sobbing son, patting his back and delivering soothing whispers into his ear, he kicked himself for once again expecting Kurt to be someone different than who he was.

"I'm just going to go back to bed," Kurt finally sniffed, hiccupping down the last round of tears. Despite how exhausted he looked, Burt made an executive decision.

"I don't think so, son," he spoke softly, but with an air of authority. "I think you need to start waking up. You've been asleep for a week. It's time to start dealing with some of this."

"What is it you want from me, Dad?" Kurt asked, another round of tears threatening at his lashes. "I'm not transitioning, I'm not cutting myself or anything like that. I met with Mark like you and Doctor Simmons wanted me to—"

"Kurt, you wanted to meet with him too, you said so yourself."

"I know, Dad, but what am I doing wrong?" he continued, a slight hysteria beginning to edge his voice. "I just want to sleep a little bit and clear my head, there's so much to process."

"I get that," Burt acknowledged. "And I'm proud of you for the leaps you've taken. I just don't want you to slide back after all that's happened. Do me a favor?"

Kurt looked at him expectantly and Burt decided that was as close to a confirmation as he was going to get.

"Let me make you some lunch, at least," he continued. "I know you didn't eat breakfast and you just pushed your food around at dinner last night, so when's the last time you ate?"

"I don't remember," Kurt relented, after a brief period contemplating whether or not to lie. "Fine. I'll try to stay up today."

"Good boy," Burt smiled, squeezing his son's shoulder before heading into the kitchen to begin preparing something.

* * *

><p>"Oh my God," Blaine muttered. He could hardly believe what Finn was telling him. So much had happened in the last few weeks and he had no idea any of it was going on. It had been easy to convince himself that Kurt was just fine, that if things got really bad, he'd call Blaine, finally relent so that he'd have the support of someone who loved him and cared for him and would do anything to protect him. Someone other than his family, that is.<p>

But now everything Blaine knew was being thrown into question. He'd missed the announcement that Mark had been found. He'd missed that not only was Mark found, but that he was near death and Kurt had made the hasty, but necessary decision to confront him while there was still time. And now Blaine was finding out that Mark had passed, a week after Kurt finally got the chance to talk to the man who'd violated him. It was too much to take in at once.

"So what know?" Blaine finally asked, trying to hold back the tremor from his voice. "Is Kurt okay? I mean, now that Mark's dead, he doesn't have to worry…"

Worry about what? Worry about Mark finding him and abusing him again? That wasn't a likely scenario in any case. But surely knowing that this monster was dead at thirty one from a cruel disease, surely that must have done something to help Kurt's recovery right?

"I wish I could say he was okay, dude," Finn answered quietly. "But that's pretty much when the shit hit the fan."

* * *

><p>Kurt did well, by anyone's standards for the rest of the day. He ate everything his father put in front of him, which he usually never did, even when his father wasn't trying to force feed him and he didn't go back to sleep. He didn't even try to bargain to make it upstairs to his room like Burt was half-expecting.<p>

Instead, he sat with his father, trying his best to talk through his various emotions surrounding Mark. Both Hummels felt like they'd made some progress by the time the sun started its slow descent in the sky.

"I'll help you make dinner, Dad," Kurt offered, knowing that within an hour, both Finn and Carole would be arriving home, hungry and ready for a meal. Burt gladly accepted his son's help and allowed him to take the lead in the kitchen, a place where Burt always felt bulky and clumsy, but a place where his son thrived, floating gracefully around the room.

This was the kind of thing that Burt missed about his son and he made sure to soak it all in while he could. He knew their work wasn't done, not by a long shot. The weariness in Kurt's posture, the heavy bags under his eyes, and the way his skin clung pathetically in the hollows of his too thin cheeks told Burt that this was far from over. But for that moment in time, he was going to enjoy his son. They could take a few hours to breath before diving back in.

The dinner had gone well. The family laughed together, quietly and respectfully. Despite who Mark was and the nature of his crimes against Kurt, they were all still cognizant of the fact that there was one less life on Earth that day and that the life had been snuffed out amongst a great deal of physical, emotional and psychological pain, not just for Mark but for their entire family.

Kurt ate most of what he'd scooped out onto his plate, once again making his father happy. Burt was so impressed, in fact, that he allowed his guard down for a moment when Kurt excused himself to go take his pill. He thought about following his son, making sure that he didn't pass out for the night on his bed at seven in the evening, but in the end he decided that even if Kurt did fall asleep, he'd done a lot of good work that day and he deserved some rest.

Kurt was pleasantly surprised when his father didn't follow him or offer to go get his pill from the container in his bathroom. Trudging up the stairs, he began to feel a bit dizzy and wondered if he and his father hadn't pushed him too far today, too quickly. Through a dense fog, he stumbled into his room and sat hard on his bed, waiting for his vision to clear up. Instead, it slowly faded into a mottled black and he was out.

* * *

><p>Mark lifted his head and caught his reflection in the small mirror that sat on Kurt's dresser. He smirked as he thought about how hard he'd tried to push through to the surface during the past week. Kurt was fighting him so hard and by the time Mark felt strong enough to make an appearance, the crushed up pill would enter his system and beat him back down. This time though, Kurt had fought past the point of exhaustion, all to Mark's benefit.<p>

"Dumb son of a bitch," Mark muttered to himself happily as he thought about the look on stupid Burt Hummel's face, thinking he was doing his son a favor by forcing him out of bed when really all it did was give Mark the push he needed to take over again.

"First order of business…" he said to himself, trailing off as he went into the bathroom to find the pills. He located the bottle, opened it, and proceeded to dump the entire contents into the toilet. He flushed the commode and mockingly waved goodbye as the pink pills swirled down the drain and out of sight. With a self-satisfied smile, he opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out the small bottle of generic baby aspirin, which, thankfully for Mark, were practically the same size and color as Kurt's other pills. He poured from the bottle into the empty one until it looked as it had prior to his tampering with it and put the lids back on both.

"That asshole won't know the difference," he told his reflection. Now that he had that out of the way, he was free to work on the other, more destructive aspects of his plan.

"You will not win, Kurt Hummel."


	58. Chapter 58

**A/N: Some swearing in this chapter, but nothing over the top. Thanks for reading!**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Kurt**

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><p>Chapter 58<p>

"So there's this new alter," Blaine spoke, more to himself than to Finn. "Who calls himself Mark and is terrorizing the other alters—"

"And Kurt."

"A-and Kurt, and he's been in control for a _week_?"

"For the most part, yeah," Finn confirmed. "I mean, every now and then, one of the others will pop out for a minute or two, sometimes even Kurt, but it's like the pills aren't working anymore. The other alters are scared shitless, I mean, Mark killed Jamie, whatever that means and Doctor George surfaced just for a minute yesterday and said that he was taking a contract in Seattle. Said that Kurt's case was too severe even for him to handle."

"What about Gina and Conrad?"

"Well, Gina, you know how she is. She's trying to make it seem like everything is under control for everyone else's sake, and Conrad….he's just being so aggressive. He's like a cornered animal, he keeps lashing out and talking about how Mark is going to hunt them down one by one until they're all dead."

"But you can't," Blaine shook his head in confusion. "You can't kill something that's not real. I mean, Jamie's not dead, he never existed in the first place."

"You don't have to tell me, dude," Finn nodded. "It doesn't make any sense, but try telling that to Kurt or the others. You know how powerful this whole thing is."

"I know," Blaine conceded contemplatively. "What about the fact that real Mark is dead? Doesn't that mean alter Mark should be dead too?"

"That's the craziest part," Finn answered. "Alter Mark doesn't believe in DID. He thinks he's real."

* * *

><p><em>Thump. <em>

_Thump. _

_Thump._

Burt climbed the stairs slowly in search of the source of the noise that seemed to rattle the entire house. It had been a couple of days since alter Mark appeared and seemed to throw down roots. Conversations with Doctor Simmons had been fruitless for the most part. She was working on securing Kurt another spot in an inpatient program closer to home, but there was quite a waiting list this time around. There was something about the holidays that seemed to drive people insane. The only thing she could suggest was to hide all the sharp objects and keep a close eye on him until he transitioned back to Kurt. Both the doctor and Burt were assuming that would be a couple of hours, a day at the most. But now on day three, Burt was beginning to wonder if he'd ever get his son back.

Walking down the hallway, walls littered with holes that Mark had punched through in anger or boredom, Burt made his way to Finn's room in search of the noise. As he entered through the open doorway, he saw Mark with an ugly smirk on his face, slamming a basketball into the wall over and over.

"What are you doing in here, Mark?" he asked of the boy tentatively. Mark didn't stop throwing the ball or even turn to acknowledge Burt where he stood.

"Got bored with Kurt's things, decided to see what kind of damage I could do in here," Mark answered bluntly. A quick scan of the trashed bedroom told Burt he'd done enough damage as it was. Kurt's room was almost beyond repair as it was and Burt was kicking himself for not putting locks on the other bedroom doors.

"Don't you think you've done enough?" Burt said, walking closer. "Why are you even still here?"

"That's a stupid question, asshole," Mark answered, relishing the way the other man flinched. "I'm here because this is where I belong."

"And what about my son?"

"Your _son_," Mark spat out the words, "Is a weak, pathetic plaything made solely for the purpose of entertaining people like me."

"Is that so?" Burt countered. "And who the hell are you?"

"Are you that stupid?" Mark asked, finally clutching the ball and turning to face the elder Hummel. "You know who I am, asshole, don't play games."

"That's right," Burt laughed humorlessly. "You're Mark, supreme badass of Ohio. There's only one problem with that, _Mark_, the real Mark is dead and you're nothing but a figment of my son's imagination."

"I'm not real? Why don't you tell that to poor Jamie. Oh, that's right, you can't. He's dead."

"Jamie's not real, either!" Burt yelled in frustration. "None of you are real!"

"Oh I'll agree with you on that," Mark conceded. "Jamie, Conrad, Gimme, that whore, Gina…they're all just Kurt's little imaginary friends. He's too pathetic to make any real ones."

"So let me get this straight," Burt said through gritted teeth. "You don't believe that Kurt's alters are real, yet you yourself are an alter. How is that supposed to work?"

"I'm not an alter, you idiot," Mark growled.

"Yes you are," Burt answered, stepping so close to Mark that they were nose to nose. "How the hell do you think you ended up inside of my son's body?"

"You know what? I'm done talking to you," Mark said, inching slowly away from Burt and resuming his activity of throwing the basketball against the wall. "Oh and Burt? Next time you see Kurt, if there is a next time, you may want to go ahead and say your goodbyes."

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" Burt asked angrily. "What are you going to do? Kill Kurt? You do realize that you'd be killing yourself, right?"

"There's more than one way to die, asshole."

* * *

><p>"Now we all have to take shifts watching him, you know," Finn explained, the exhaustion in his features evident. "Making sure he doesn't hurt himself, or Kurt…you know what I mean."<p>

Blaine leaned back in the booth, completely speechless. This whole time he'd convinced himself that Kurt had been right when he said that he'd be able to make more progress without Blaine around. It was easier to picture Kurt that way, but now…now he didn't know what to think.

"So what, between the three of you—"

"Eight hour shifts around the clock," Finn answered with a grim smile. "Happy holidays, right?"

"Finn, don't get me wrong, I'm glad you called and told me all this, but—"

"Why did I bother you with all of it?" Finn interrupted. "I guess I just needed someone to talk to about all of it. And I was kind of thinking that, I don't know, maybe if he saw you…"

"Maybe if he saw me, what, Finn?"

"Maybe it would bring Kurt back," Finn explained, desperation tugging at his words. "I mean, we've tried everything. Burt's shown Mark the copy of the obituary from the paper, we've even forced his medication down his throat, but all he does is laugh like he's in on some private joke and the pills aren't doing a damn thing."

"What about Doctor Simmons? What does she say about all this?" Blaine chose to ignore the first part of Finn's explanation for the time being.

"Doctor Simmons is a joke," Finn answered. "She says she's trying to get him into some inpatient program like the last one he was at, but apparently there's a waiting list. Burt asked if the medication could be upped, but she wants Kurt to finish the bottle he has now to see if it will eventually start working again before she makes any changes."

Blaine shook his head in response. It was such a nightmare and the things that Finn told him that Mark had said to Burt…it was all too much.

"So will you do it?" Finn asked after a few moments. "Will you come try to talk to him?"

"I don't know, Finn," Blaine answered reluctantly. "Kurt pretty much told me not to come back until he said it was okay."

"Well Kurt isn't here," Finn spat angrily, catching Blaine off of his guard. "And it doesn't look like Mark is going to let him back. There are cuts everywhere, Blaine. He's trying to destroy Kurt. I thought you loved him."

"I do love him," Blaine shouted, causing heads in the restaurant to turn in their direction. Blaine could feel his face heating up but he lowered his voice before he continued.

"I do love him," he repeated in a harsh whisper. "How dare you suggest that I don't? It's because I love him that I'm trying to respect his wishes."

"All I know is this," Finn countered, voice wavering slightly. "Kurt will be dead soon if something doesn't change. Is respecting his wishes worth that?"

The air between the two boys was thick with tension. Both stared at the other in heavy silence as Finn waited for Blaine's answer and Blaine tried his best to formulate one.

"Of course not," he finally answered. "Fine. I'll do whatever you need me to do."

"Good," Finn leaned back, a hesitant relief washing over him. "Let's go, then."

"Wait," Blaine stopped the other boy as he climbed hastily out of the booth. "We're doing this right now?"

"It's now or never, dude. Every minute counts at this point."


	59. Chapter 59

**A/N: Hey guys, I know this is super short, but I've been so incredibly busy the last few weeks (in the process of moving) so I wanted to get an update here because I'm not sure when I'll be able to sit down and work on this again, probably not until next weekend. Thanks for being patient with me and I hope you enjoy this next chapter. I'd love to hear what you think.**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 59<p>

To say Blaine was nervous as they pulled into the Hummel-Hudson's driveway would have been the understatement of the century. Finn had done his best to prepare the other boy at the restaurant and on the ride over, but Blaine knew from previous experiences meeting the alters that no matter how much someone described them, it was nothing compared to meeting the real thing. Meeting Mark was likely to blow the rest of those encounters out of the water.

Before they even reached the front door, Finn and Blaine could hear the sound of glass shattering from within the house. Watching Mark had become a full time job for Finn and his parents. Typically, one of them would be doing their best to keep an eye on Mark while another one would go around the house trying to clean up his messes and the third one would sleep. It was exhausting, especially considering the fact that Burt and Carole had full time jobs in addition to this new responsibility. Finn felt guilty about this, so he oftentimes would take over the chores himself, sometimes working all through the night. He figured that over the past week since Mark arrived, he slept an average of four hours a day. Usually that kind of schedule was reserved for summertime Halo battles or all-night movie marathons. But now he was just doing whatever he could to try to hold his family together.

"You ready for this?" Finn asked Blaine as they reached the steps in front of the house.

"No, not really," Blaine answered honestly. It didn't matter though. Whether he was ready or not, it was going to happen. He just hoped that Finn was right, and that something about his presence would help Kurt find the strength to take back control of his body and mind.

* * *

><p><em>Gina: Oh, dear! <em>

_Conrad: Shhh! Jesus, woman, not so loud! Are you trying to get us killed?_

_Gina: For Pete's sake, Conrad, can't you see what he's doing? He's destroying everything!_

_Conrad: Well, better the furniture than us._

_Gina: Is that right, Conrad? What about Kurt, you selfish fool? Look at him, he's barely hanging on by a thread!_

_Conrad: Don't you think I know that? _

_Gina: If you truly did, you'd be helping me find a way to get Mark out._

_Conrad: I have tried, old lady! Every time I gain the upper hand he beats me down again, and I believe him when he says that the next time he's going to kill me. You should think about that, Gina. He'll kill you too._

_Gina: Well forgive me, Conrad, but I'd rather step in the line of fire than to lose Kurt._

_Conrad: That's not fair! I would take a bullet for Kurt in a heartbeat and you know it! It's just…I can't help him if I'm dead, that's all._

_Gina: Well hiding out here from Mark isn't helping him one bit. He doesn't have much time, Conrad. We have to do something soon._

* * *

><p>Kurt woke up feeling foggy. His back hurt, his joints ached, and the pounding in his head wasn't helping at all. He was lying on a cold, concrete floor and he could feel the layer of grime transferring from the ground to his porcelain skin. When was the last time he'd had a shower? When was the last time he'd been awake?<p>

As painful as it was, he pulled himself into a sitting position with a small grunt. The room was dark, sparse. There was no light fixture, but a small window near the ceiling let in the moonlight, the bars creating an ominous –looking web of shadows on the wall opposite where he sat. There was no door to the room, no furniture. The only thing that separated it from being strictly a dirty, concrete cube was the tiny window, ten feet off the ground.

"Where am I?" he asked himself out loud. How did he get there? How long had it been? Each time he tried to think about these questions, the answers would dissipate, like mist, into the air. He felt like he was dying of thirst and someone was dangling a glass of water in front of him, just out of his reach. Before he had time to dwell on it too much, though, he was unconscious again, the faint, muffled voices coming in through the window playing into his dreams.

* * *

><p>"Burt?" Finn called out through the open doorway. "We're home!"<p>

Burt breathed a sigh of relief in spite of himself. He'd half-heartedly told Finn that he should leave Blaine out of it, when Finn came to him with his plan earlier that day. In truth, Burt was elated to have Blaine back. He understood why Kurt had made the decision he had, but he wasn't quite sure he agreed with it. Kurt shouldn't be pushing away the people who loved and supported him, but now…now Burt wasn't even sure where his son was and he couldn't bear the thought that he might not be coming back at all. Like Finn, he put the unfair, but unavoidable expectation on Blaine that he'd be able to bring Kurt back to them.

"Blaine," Burt greeted as he made his way to the foyer where he stood with Finn. Without really thinking about it, he drew the boy into a tight hug and he couldn't help but recall the last time he'd had this kind of reaction to his son's boyfriend, when Kurt had been in the hospital after his car accident. Blaine didn't pull away, like Burt was half-expecting. Instead, to Burt's surprise, he hugged him back tightly. He wasn't sure what the emotion behind the exchange was, either on his part or Blaine's, but he imagined that fear, anxiety and anticipation all played roles.

"Finn, will you go keep an eye on Mark?" Burt asked, addressing the other boy as he finally pulled away. "I want to talk to Blaine for a moment."

"Sure," Finn agreed immediately. "Where is he?"

"I hate to say it, but he's in your room," Burt answered with a wince. Finn looked upset, but remained silent as he ascended the stairs to his room.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Burt asked bluntly, returning his attention to Blaine.

"No," Blaine answered honestly, again. He wasn't going to do anyone any favors by hiding his true feelings.

"But I want to do this," Blaine followed-up quickly. "I…I want to help in any way I can."

"It's not going to be easy," Burt explained. "He's nothing like Kurt. He's mean, he's conniving, he's violent."

Burt pushed up his shirt sleeve and Blaine's eyes immediately zeroed in on the dark purple bruising on his upper arm.

"He did that to you?" Blaine asked dumbly.

"Yeah," Burt answered with a wince. "But that's the least of it. It's what he's doing to my son that I'm concerned about. And the medication is doing absolutely nothing. I have half a mind to tie him to a chair."

"It might not be a bad idea," Blaine mumbled. From the sound of it, if things got much worse, they wouldn't really have much of an option.

"Alright, just remember that he's not Kurt," Burt instructed. "If you need to get mean, get mean, but don't show him any vulnerability. I tried that and you see where it got me."

"If you don't mind me asking," Blaine ventured. "What exactly are you wanting me to do? I mean, I want to help, but I have no idea how to make any of this better."

"Me neither, kid," Burt answered honestly. "But we're running out of options here."

Both men stared at each other for few seconds, silently seeking out some sort of course of action.

"Well, kid," Burt finally spoke. "Are you ready to do this?"

Blaine steeled himself and took a deep breath before answering.

"Let's do it."


	60. Chapter 60

**A/N: Hello :) So sorry for the delay in updating (it's been a week :-/) but here it is! Thanks as always for reading and your reactions are always appreciated.**

**I want to give a HUGE shoutout to my good friend, paperstylehearts, for creating cover art for this story AND for Dead Like Kurt. She's amazing and I'm so thankful for everything she's done to support me. I just want the world to know how awesome she is. :)**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 60<p>

Blaine climbed the stairs slowly and with a fair amount of dread. Finn and Burt had tried their best to prepare him for what it would be like to interact with Mark, but as he'd learned so many times before with Kurt and his alters, it was best to go in with caution and low expectations. As he approached the top of the stairs, Finn must have heard him coming because he stepped out of his own room to meet him in the hall. By the look on his face, Blaine suspected that the breaking glass sounds from earlier must have come from his room.

"How is it in there?" Blaine asked tentatively. Finn shook his head and tried to remain calm.

"It's destroyed," he answered quietly. "But thankfully my mom had me box up all my important stuff a couple of days ago just in case."

Blaine nodded but remained silent. His normal ability to carry a conversation was completely destroyed in a situation like this. All he could think about was seeing Kurt again. Only it wouldn't be Kurt. The thought caused his stomach muscles to clench slightly as he realized just how much he missed Kurt lately. He tried not to think about it often, but in reality it was always there in his mind somewhere.

"I'm just gonna go downstairs with Burt," Finn spoke up again, passing him on the landing. "But just yell if you're in trouble and we'll be right up."

"If I'm in trouble?" Blaine repeated, feeling foolish for swallowing nervously.

"That came out wrong," Finn tried to back track, but by the look in Blaine's eyes, the damage had been done. "I mean, if you need anything. I'm sure it'll be fine."

Finn didn't wait for a reaction before heading downstairs, leaving Blaine alone in the hallway. Finn's bedroom had grown suspiciously quiet since Finn came out, but Blaine decided that maybe it was a good thing that he'd stopped throwing things.

"Or maybe he's out of things to throw," he muttered to himself under his breath. With great effort, he moved one foot in front of the other, working his hands at his sides as he moved slowly down the hall toward the bedroom to confront Mark.

* * *

><p>Kurt woke up on the dirty floor again completely disoriented. Once he realized where he was, still stuck in the tiny, dark cell, he began to gain his bearings. He felt drugged, like he couldn't move, and if he had to guess, he hadn't seen the light of day in a week. He'd woken up into silence, unlike the other times before. It was the quietest moment he'd had since waking up in the cell for the first time, and rather than give him comfort, it only scared him more.<p>

Before he had time to dwell on it much longer, he heard a voice filtering in through the tiny window at the top of the room.

Was that…? It sounded like… It was Blaine! But wait, where was he? Where was Kurt for that matter? The voice was muffled like all of the others, but it was definitely his boyfriend and Kurt strained to hear what was being said. Still lying on the floor, he picked his head up slightly and tilted his ear toward the window.

"Are….Mark?"

Kurt could only make out a few words from Blaine's voice, when a second, much louder and clearer voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Maybe. Who the fuck are you?"

Wait, was that…was that Kurt? It sounded like his voice, but it couldn't be him, it had to be an alter, but Blaine just asked if he was Mark. So that must mean…

"…don't….any trouble, I….talk…"

Kurt tried to force his leaden legs to cooperate. He needed to stand up to get closer to the window so he could try to hear Blaine better, but he just felt so weak.

"You and I don't have anything to talk about, so why don't you leave?"

"Just….about….if Kurt…"

"Listen, you dumb son of a bitch—"

"Hey!" Kurt was surprised at the volume and force of his own voice. Somehow he'd managed to crawl over to the wall near the window and climb his way up so that he was leaning heavily against it, shouting up towards the sky.

"That's enough!" Kurt yelled, to no one in particular. "I've had enough. Let me out!"

With each word, Kurt felt stronger and the wall behind him started to cave slightly. Through gritted teeth, he began slamming his elbow into the wall as hard as he could until the bricks started to crumble. As the wall came down, a blinding light overtook the room and Kurt squeezed his eyes shut against it as he heard Blaine's voice ring out strong and clear.

"Burt! Finn! Come quick!"

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><p>Burt came flying up the stairs faster than he ever thought he possibly could with Finn close on his heels. They'd been in the foyer near the front door talking to each other quietly when Blaine's cry for help rang out through the house. When they barged into the room, neither was prepared for what they found.<p>

Kurt was curled up tightly next to Blaine on the floor. They were sitting, propped up against Finn's bed and Blaine stroked Kurt's hair softly while Kurt let out ragged sobs.

"It's okay," Blaine murmured, not knowing if his attempts to calm his boyfriend were a complete lie. "It's all over now, you're safe."

"Kurt?" Burt called out, his voice wavering a bit. He didn't want to believe what he was seeing was real.

"Dad," Kurt choked out, sitting up slightly to face his father. Burt was immediately on the ground on the other side of him, pulling his son into a strong hug, which sent Kurt into a fresh round of tears.

"I was…s-so scared," Kurt spoke shakily. "And c-confused."

"You're here now," Burt assured. "We're gonna make sure it stays that way."

"The pills," Kurt blurted out, as if remembering something for the first time. "They…he flushed them. He replaced them with aspirin."

"That explains a lot," Finn spoke up for the first time since entering the room.

"Finn, go call Carole and explain what's going on," Burt instructed. "Tell her to call Dr. Simmons and ask her to pick up the new prescription on the way home."

Finn nodded in agreement and headed out of the room quickly. None of them knew how much time they might have before Mark forced his way to the surface again.

"You did a good job, Blaine," Burt said quietly over Kurt's shoulder. "I don't know what you did, but you did good, son."

Blaine couldn't help the blush that graced his cheeks. He hadn't done anything, really. He'd come into the room and found Mark sitting on the bed, staring at his hands in his lap. At first Blaine thought he may have fallen asleep that way, but when he opened his mouth to address him, Mark's head shot up in a way that caused Blaine to stumble back. He'd expected some amount of aggression from the other boy, but within a matter of minutes, Blaine witnessed the familiar struggle, albeit this one was much more intense, as Kurt regained control of his own body and mind. As soon as Kurt lifted his head again, Blaine had known it was him and not one of the other alters. Regardless of Kurt's previous wishes, Blaine had gone to him quickly and gathered him into a tight hug. It had been the right choice; Kurt all but melted into Blaine's embrace, dissolving into tears as Blaine lowered them both to the carpet.

"I didn't do anything," Blaine mumbled bashfully. He was stroking Kurt's back as he stayed in his father's embrace and slowly, the combination of Blaine's and Burt's comfort seemed to calm him down to the point where Kurt was able to breathe evenly. Eventually he detached himself from his father and sat back against the bed. He turned to look at Blaine.

"I told you not to come back," Kurt said quietly.

"I, um…" Blaine stuttered. He hadn't been expecting that, but maybe he should have prepared himself for him to be angry when he directly went against Kurt's wishes.

"I'll just go," Blaine finally uttered, starting to get up from the floor. He froze when Kurt's hand reached out and grasped onto his forearm.

"No," Kurt said. "What I meant to say was, I told you not to come back, but you did anyway. I treated you like crap and…and you saved me."

"Kurt, no," Blaine answered, somewhat relieved as he slid back down to sit next to him. "You had every right to do what you did. You needed to try everything you could to beat this, and I was a distraction. I understand that now."

"Do," Kurt hesitated, feeling inexplicably small and ashamed. "Do you forgive me?"

"Sweetheart," Blaine blushed as he realized he'd used one of their pet names right in front of Burt. "There's nothing to forgive. You didn't do anything wrong. Trust me, Nick and Jeff straightened me out on the whole thing."

Kurt offered a small smile for what felt like the first time in weeks. Just then, Finn came barreling back into the room, cell phone in hand.

"She's going to the pharmacy now and should be here in a half hour," he announced proudly.

"Good job, kiddo," Burt answered with a smile. For a moment, everyone was silent as they tried to digest what happened.

"Finn," Kurt finally spoke. "I am so, so sorry about your room. I'll clean it up and help you redecorate—"

"No!" Finn interrupted a little too loudly. "No worries, I mean. I'll, uh, I'll handle it. You'll have your hands full with your own room, I mean."

Kurt winced. If Finn's room looked this bad, there was no telling what his own looked like. As they waited for Carole to get home, each man held their breath, hoping that Mark wouldn't be back before they could get Kurt medicated. It was the elephant in the room. It felt like a reunion of sorts, and in a lot of ways it was, but no one wanted to address the fact that Mark wasn't gone for good, that this could all be temporary. And while it scared each of them to pieces individually, speaking the fear aloud, or for God's sake, actually making a plan of action for when it happened again seemed out of the question.

They just wanted to feel as normal as possible, for however long it lasted.


	61. Chapter 61

**A/N: Please check out the extended author's note at the end of this chapter and thanks for reading!**

**I don't own Glee or United States of Tara**

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><p>Chapter 61<p>

_Five Months Later_

"Hi," Kurt spoke with a nervous smile, looking into the tiny camera on his laptop. "It's Kurt again. Obviously. It's been a really long time since I made one of these entries, but with everything that's happened over the last few months, I feel like now is a good time to start catching up.

"I guess I'll start with the good news. The medication that I started on is working great. Well, ever since we got everything sorted out with Mark, that is. It's better than the last time. I don't feel as foggy and maybe it's because I don't have to take as much of it any more to keep everything under control. I've learned how to be really attuned to what I'm feeling and I'm able to communicate with my alters without having to transition. God, I sound like an advertisement for those stupid pills. Really, though, I never thought I'd be at this point in my life, with or without the medication.

"I'm happy to report that Mark is gone. At least, I hope he is. I don't feel his presence within me anymore, or anyone else for that matter. With the exception of Gina and Conrad, of course. I think I'm probably stuck with those two forever. I don't mind though. It's nice knowing they're there and I like to think that we've come to an understanding about who's in charge here.

"Despite the fact that at one point, Doctor Simmons basically fired me because she claimed I'd made too much progress to need her help anymore, I still meet with her once a month to make sure my dosages are still working. For the last few months, she's reduced the medication incrementally, although I'm under no illusion that I'll be completely free of the medication any time soon. I'm happy where I'm at.

"My family has been so amazing through this whole ordeal. Looking back, I can't really fathom how they all didn't give up on me, especially my dad. Blaine too. No matter how many times I pushed him away, when I really needed him, he was there. Right after the whole Mark fiasco, he helped take care of me, he helped clean and redecorate my room and Finn's as well. He helped Carole cook and took turns with Finn at the shop to help my dad out. I'm not sure what I did to deserve having him in my life, but I will never, ever take it for granted again.

"So I think that's all the good news I have. Don't get me wrong, the good definitely outweighs the bad, but there is something that I've had a hard time coming to terms with lately. With everything that's gone on in the past year, my schoolwork kind of fell by the wayside. I tried to keep up with it, I really did, but with the car accident, the court dates and finding Mark, I just couldn't do it all. After Christmas, I tried to sit down with everything that had been neglected over the fall, but it was so overwhelming that I just couldn't figure out where to start. After a couple of long conversations with my dad and Carole, I made the decision to go back to school this upcoming year and finish out my high school career as a senior.

"I hate that I'll be a year behind all of my friends. After McKinley's graduation ceremony this afternoon, Rachel's heading out on a plane to New York, renting an apartment and starting at NYADA in the fall. I can't help thinking that I should be on that plane, I should be picking out wall paint colors with her and signing up for summer workshops too. But I know I'll get there, eventually.

"The one bright spot in all this is that I'll get to graduate with Blaine now. At Dalton. It wasn't something my dad and Carole could afford, especially after all that went on last year. But as fate would have it, I found a way to pay for it. Remember how Sebastian was ordered to go to all the local schools to talk about the consequences of bullying? It was a joint effort between he and I, and it was my decision to do it that way. I just felt that his story would have a much greater impact if someone who was victimized by him spoke out about it as well. Anyway, we were speaking at this one high school in Westerville when one of the parents approached me after the presentation. She told me about her son, Ryan.

"Ryan was bullied relentlessly for years in middle and high school until one day, his senior year, _two weeks_ away from graduation, he decided he couldn't take it anymore. He, um he ended his life."

Kurt paused, taking a moment to wipe his eyes and take a few deep breaths.

"After that, his parents went around doing the same thing Sebastian and I did. They talked to schools, churches and community groups, trying to make sure that no other kid went to the extreme that Ryan did. Something else they did was they began a scholarship, sending one kid a year to Dalton or Crawford Country Day, since they are the only schools in this part of Ohio with a zero-tolerance bullying rule that's actually enforced. His mom encouraged me to apply for it and I won. I can proudly say that I am the third annual recipient of the Ryan Jurgens Scholarship. As part of my requirements for receiving the scholarship, I have to continue speaking in the schools, but I don't mind at all. In fact, I probably would have kept doing it anyway, with or without Sebastian. I've talked to him about it, and since we're both going to be seniors next year, he's on board for continuing on with our presentations. After ten or so, we really got the hang of it and I think we both find it quite fulfilling.

"I guess that's about it. I've got to go get ready for the graduation ceremony. It's bittersweet, but I'm really looking forward to seeing Finn, Rachel and everyone else walk across that stage. Next year it'll be me and Blaine, and then from there? Well, the possibilities are endless."

Kurt hesitated before clicking the "stop record" button on his laptop. This was it. The end of one stage of his life and the start of a new one. He was going to make it, there was no doubt in his mind. Now, all he had to worry about was enjoying the ride.

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><p><strong>Dear Readers,<strong>

**I thought long and hard about how to proceed from the last chapter and ultimately, the thought that I kept coming back to was that it's the right time to end United States of Kurt. I have loved every single moment of writing this and you have no idea how much your support has meant to me. I never expected the overwhelmingly positive response that I've received over the last few months in writing this. Frankly, I'm blown away that any of you read it at all, let alone stuck with it this far. Without your support, I'm not sure I could have done it, so thank you, thank you, thank you.**

**If anyone is interested, I do intend to write at least a few short stories based in this little US of Kurt world, centering around different incidents in Kurt's past and how the alters played a role in those. Also, I've left it very open for an extended sequel, following Kurt and Blaine at Dalton for their senior year. If that's something you're interested in, or if you have an idea you'd like me to explore, please let me know! I'll do my best to honor that.**

**I will continue to post here on FF for as long as I can, but I will also post links and updates for what I'm working on on my tumblr (countingcrow16), so please think about following me there if you don't have me on alerts through FF.**

**Thank you again so much to each and every one of you. I'm so blown away by your patience, support and feedback. It's been an awesome ride!**

**-countingcrow16**


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